Drain Snake Massacre teaser trailer is out!

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Dan Komarek

I’ve been really busy working on a lot of new film projects as of lately…. Coming soon is a film I am helping produce and will be acting in called “Drain Snake Massacre” Written & Directed by Kay Crawford. Principle photography on will begin this week. The film stars Tim Gross and will be disturbed by Video Nasty Productions. Here is the official teaser:

Kyle finally woke up at the controls to post two more episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks!

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WE’RE NOT DEAD YET!!!!  This week we return to catch up after Kyle returns from a trip to see Tim in Pittsburgh to attend wedding of the century of our good friend and yours Out of Print Dan.  That entire aside we will be covering 3 more flicks.  The first being a weak ass independent joint called ZILLAFOOT.  The second a grand, grand WTF movie from Indonesia called DEMON SWORD.  And finally a weirded out Hollywood jam that is still perplexing to Kyle in A CURE FOR WELLNESS.  We also talk about what we have been watching, we spin the wheel of time, and we answer your listener questions.  All that and such topics as strange giallo titles, John’s upcoming attempt at cinematic suicide as he hopes to try to watch all things Charles Band has ever done, And Kyle pitches his new movie premise for Bonobo Cop… Half Man, Half Monkey… All justice!  So download this episode or “I’ll let the monkey’s loose”

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #549

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Gross Movie Reviews #549

The Taking of Beverly Hills (DVD) – An early 90s action film that comes off as a ‘Die Hard’ rip-off that I do not remember ever hearing this hitting theaters as much as when it hit VHS. Boomer is a football player hanging out at Beverly Hills trying to pick up a date until a chemical spill happens causing the town to be evacuated or at least that is what the Beverly Hills Police Department says. See the police department is tired of putting up with rich people so they come up with this elaborate plan of a chemical spill that not many would question but would get people evacuated. Once that happens they go from home to home stealing everything and everyone in the police department is in on the take except one guy who decides to help the star football player Boomer to stop everything before the National Guard gets there! The film has wall to wall action, great cast, if you never heard of this give it a chance if you are a ‘Die Hard’ fan as it is lots of fun as I give it 3 stars.

War of the Gargantuas (DVD) – If you are over the age of 40 there is a good chance you were introduced to this flick early in life by a horror host in your town late one night on TV. After a thing attacks a boat out sea near Japan scientists are baffled at what monster could do something like this? A young American scientist who works in Japan supposedly had large gargantuan years ago that got loose and never found. Is it the same one? Why has it appeared now? While the scientists go to the woods to investigate the military blasts away without listening to reason as the scientists try to figure out if the two monsters are related or separate incidents. In the end it is good monster vs. bad monster in this corny throwback as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Superforce (DVD) – A futuristic TV film from 1990 that was set in 2020 and got turned into a TV series for two full seasons. The film follows famous astronaut Zach Stone who comes home after a two year mission to find his brother has been killed. Supposedly his brother was the only good cop left on the force. Anyway Zach wants answers so he joins the police academy so when he graduates he can ask to be place in his brother’s old areas. Soon Zach gets involved with Hungerford Industries who help Zach get fitted in an experimental space suit that gives him extra strength and a motorcycle to chase down criminals. Well one young scientist and a dead guy help Zach become the new space age hero. The film had a solid cast but I couldn’t believe that there was a TV series based on this as it was filmed in Universal Studios, Florida. I give it a 1 ½ stars because it seem like they were having a tough time just to fill out a TV film let alone a TV series?

CarousHell the 2nd (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski gave us crazy Indy horror fans ‘House of 1000 Corpses’ with his first entry ‘CarousHell’, five years later Steve figured out a way with the sequel to give us ‘The Devil’s Rejects’. And if yinz get that reference then you know you are in for one hell of a ride with this project. Our famous killer carousel unicorn Duke, is back and it begins with Nazis as Duke has just found out he has a son he nothing about. Duke learns about Robbie and tries to make amends but Duke’s past catches up with him as the Third Reich is still pissed their experiment is running free in America. These immortal Nazis want revenge against their former Alpha Solider and will stop at nothing to get their revenge even if it means kidnapping Duke’s hybrid son. Now if you just tuned into this review wondering what the hell you are reading well ‘CarousHell’ and its sequel are the ultimate weirdo horror films that really cannot be classified as anything else but “weird” and that is what makes it wonderful! This sequel reminds me of the spirit of the ‘Basket Case’ sequels where Steve is giving you the viewer something completely unexpected or at least me? Yes, there is still a carousel horse sex scene, some fine gore spots, absolutely wonderful acting from Aleen Isley, Terrence Cover, Rebecca Reinhart, and Joshua Anton just to name a few actors with perfect performances that had me laughing and entertained from beginning to end! This latest creation from Mr. Rudzinski would not surprise me at all to propel his career or at least a few phone calls from Hollywood as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and you will be seeing it in my “Top 5 movies 2021” for sure! All I ask Steve remember us little people… and send beer! Now congrats on one fucking awesome movie!

Cosmos: War of the Planets (DVD) – In 1977 somebody got bored and found bootleg Billy Zane’s father as Captain Hamilton and made a crude episode of ‘Star Trek’. Hamilton and crew are forced to investigate signals on the outer edge of the solar system only to find an evil robot that can’t move who has slaves that are telepathic and they live in a cave. Sounds fun but was cornier than anything and wouldn’t surprise me this has been referenced on MST3Kway too many times over the years as I give it 2 stars.

The Attic (DVD) – A creepy slow burn film that most likely collected a lot of dust on the VHS shelves of the old video stores? A shy Librarian who has been forced to take care of her wheelchair bound father for years now. To make Louise a little more frustrated is her husband to be still hasn’t shown up after 19 years and taking her own life might not be a bad option. Trying to compensate with her midlife crisis she buys a monkey, gives a bunch of money to the only friend she has, and tries to take a trip with the monkey. But as certain things come to light in Louise’s life and does concern if she was completely crazy from the beginning of the film. Interesting for the mere fact of how they end this slow burn as I believe you will find very satisfying or absolutely hate the ending as I give it 2 stars.

Massacre Academy (Blu-ray) – A film set in the year 1987 at Orrstown State University where Kris the college student survived a horrible ordeal of Henry Lee Palmer or the “Killer Clown Face Killer” killing 15 on campus as Kris was a freshman. It’s been two years since the horrible event but Kris is finding it hard to get past as she has nightmares nightly especially now her younger sister is going to the same college and pledging for a sorority that may not have the best intentions. The film doesn’t waste too much time having the killer grab the clown mask and getting back to finishing what he started two years earlier. But is it a copycat or did Henry Lee Palmer somehow survive? Some good gore shots, I thought the casting of all involved was solid, and the pacing doesn’t get bogged down to give a solid retro slasher feel as I give it 3 stars. For fans of the film if you are looking for a goof check out the cop car the characters are in about the 47 minute mark as that Ford vehicle didn’t exist in 1987.    

The Manson Brothers Midnight Zombie Massacre (On Demand) – Well I gotta say this was an unexpected fun horror gem about a wrestling tag team in New Mexico wrestling called “The Manson Brothers”. This rugged tag team has been around for three decades now and knows all the ins and outs of independent wrestling feds. After a well-received tag match they are offered a big money cage match at midnight on Halloween. Of course they say yes but that is only part of the story as things get weird as some of the wrestlers have been taking some of the Chinese HGH to stay big for the ring. Now to complicate the issue with wrestlers taking the HGH and causing a zombie issue, there is a horrible hurricane that has locked down everything! So The Manson Brothers must fight their way through a horde of flesh eaters inside the wrestling building and forget about the main event. The movie has lots of great zombie gore gags, wonderful story telling (someone knows some of the behind the scenes stuff of wrestling), and the supporting cast in D.B. Sweeny, Mindy Robinson, and Randy Couture make this an unexpected horror gem and would love to see a sequel if it is done with the same spirit and passion this project was as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

In a couple of weeks events where you can find Drunken Yinzers Productions!

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September 25th an event we have never done before in West Virginia…

Then the week after… October 1-3rd we are back at Cinema Wasteland and our latest film Blood Freak will be playing at 6:30, October 2nd Saturday evening.

Go to ww.cinemawasteland.com for guests, movies, and more details.

Then October 8th our screening of Jagoff Massacre at Willow Station bar/restaurant in Castle Shannon, Pa.

Go to this facebook page for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/345141160641950/?active_tab=discussion

or

You can go to the Willow Station facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Screening of Jagoff Massacre begins at 7:30 but before we get started with the short film Hexercise!

Gross Movie Reviews #548

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Gross Movie Reviews #548

Microwave Massacre (Blu-ray) – If you closet fans of this film like me held on to your VHS copies of the movie you may rejoice now as a proper special edition has been released! You get to see Donald in all his glory of killing his wife, eating her, and becoming a hit with the boys back at the construction site as he feeds them his new recipes. The picture quality has no business looking as good as it does and all the extras make the Blu-ray a must have. The movie was never going to win an Oscar but I forgot how funny the film actually is as Donald is trying to eat all the hookers he picks up. A must have for indy film collectors and a must watch to remind everyone how fun it was to find dust covered gems in the video store as I give the package 3 stars and kudos to Arrow Video for giving the fans what they wanted.

Bloody Hell (DVD) – Rex just so happens to live in Boise, Idaho, just trying to hit on the cute bank teller at his bank until a robbery happens and that is where Rex’s life changes. Instead just lying down giving up his money Rex having military training decides he can kick some ass or at least that is what his other self that Rex speaks to on a regular basis convinces him of doing. Problem is Rex gets 8 years for wrongful death even though he is considered a hero by most around town. Eight years later, Rex gets released from prison and decides he wants out of Boise and wants a fresh start in Finland. Problem Rex’s life only gets worse as he is kidnapped by a weird ass family who feeds their inbred monster son and now has Rex hanging up in their basement missing part of his leg. Once Rex calms down a bit his inner self and he come up with a plan to escape and kill the family! I absolutely enjoyed this flick as it reminded me of a ‘Hardcore Henry’ and I talk to myself way too much because I work alone way too much, anyway I give this film 4 stars all the way for giving a horror fan something fun, strange, and well-crafted.

The Boonies (DVD) – Five friends head out for some camping one weekend to help a friend celebrate one last weekend before he gets married. The group has the misfortune during a hike of becoming a meal for the cannibal family that has lived out in the woods for generations. Now of course the group must fight for survival or become a meal or be married into the family. The film checks all the boxes of an independent cannibal film but does nothing that stands out other than casting Ben and Blake (BPO films) as the brothers of the cannibal family. Not to bash this feature but it comes off as generic and uneventful as I can only give the film 1 star.

Apex Predators (DVD) – Indy filmmaker Dustin Ferguson is at it again with a feature that has lots of Dustin’s vacation video undersea footage, random ocean footage, a couple shots of actual sharks, and a movie that lacks real shark attack scenes or anything that would resemble a shark attack. But anyway the plot of the film is the sharks may have taken the next step in evolution that has the “rogue gene”. If you like a film with a lot of reaction shots of actors then you have found the right film… If you like actual shark attacks in your shark genre flick then you better move on as this movie deserves the 0 stars I believe most viewers will give.

Mummy Dearest (DVD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer this bastard child of a film should be burned and never viewed as a daughter (Autumn) is forced to take care of her controlling mother after she has nerve damage from a chiropractor. Both stay with Frank who is pretty weird to begin with as he claims music is his life as he lives in this house that looks to be decorated like the city museum celebrating Egyptian kingdoms. As Frank and Scarlett explore Frank’s memories through back therapy weird shit happens as Frank or his grandpa killed people who lived in the home at one time and now are buried outside mummy-style. Basically the film is a big bag of horseshit! Lou Ferrigno is listed as the star who shows for two pages of script, Tara Reid shows up a walk down the stairs in a vision, and Richard Tyson and Michael Pare scenes are so quick I would claim legally they were not part of the film. The storyline was terrible, the film was terrible, wouldn’t be surprised this film ends up being the worst I have watched in 2021 as I give it 0 stars.

War of the Colossal Beast (DVD) – The late 50s flick is a sequel where Joyce, the sister of the Colossal Man still believes he is alive as the Army never found a body in the river. A food delivery truck goes missing in the mountains of Mexico causing the military to investigate. And Joyce goes along to possibly help them wrangle in her brother in as she would like to see him get some help some way. The Army captures the 60 foot man once named Glenn and returns him to the United States until they can figure out if Glenn knows them or has he lost his mind. If he has lost his mind the Army’s plan is to release him on an island where he will be safe and so will humans of normal size. Even though the sequel changes a few plot lines from the first film it is still a fun drive-in popcorn monster flick to enjoy that I give 2 ½ stars.

Dead End City (DVD-R) – I found another late 80s direct-to-video gold that stars Robert Z’Dar as a cop turned motorcycle gang leader. The government has an urban removal project in place where they can effectively remove the undesirable people from the populace. Maximum and his thugs roll into the inner city busting up people and their dwellings causing the residents to be run out of town to a relocation camp. This way a government official can decide who can be a part of their newly built city that will not have crime. But Jack and a few of his friends hold up at his factory not believing the bullshit being spewed out by the city officials. As Jack and the group hold out and defend themselves they become heroes for the ones who have already been relocated to these tent cities. A fun film that has that late-80s futuristic feel but isn’t and I can see how this even gets lumped in the post-apocalyptic genre, either way I have to give this fun mess 2 ½ stars.

Virus Shark (DVD) – One of Mark Polonia’s latest projects about a shark bite that starts a pandemic that affects the world. (Sounds a little too familiar) Anyway 800 meters below in the ocean is a team of scientists working on the cure as they believe it has something to do with the sharks and the experiments they are doing might bring forth a cure. But it becomes a race against time as the facility becomes unstable as it is on the verge of collapsing and we have the lead scientist trying to steal the antidote for financial means once topside. Chaos ensues and one scientist with the cure makes it to the surface only to face that it may be too late as no one cares she has the cure as the world has gone to shit. Not the best of the modern Mark Polonia era but I will say this is better than what the younger Polonia, Anthony has been directing lately as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Drunken Yinzers Productions presents “Jagoff Massacre”

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Drunken Yinzers Productions presents “Jagoff Massacre”

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2021 AT 7:30 PM EDT – 9:30 PM EDT

https://www.thewillowstation.com/

Willow Station Bar and Restaurant

3841 Willow Avenue  

 Castle Shannon, PA 15234

Just a free movie screening on the back patio of Willow Station to help get yinz in the Halloween spirit. We will be screening the independent horror film “Jagoff Massacre” (along with Matt Cannon’s short film “Hexercise”) The film is about two drunken yinzers walking through Frick Park one night and interrupt a Satanic ritual by Satanists… Chaos ensues as these drunken yinzers must face off with evil and hope to survive this horrible night! Witness the hilarious terror and all the true stories that went into making this no budget film that refuses to go away. You not from the burgh? Be ready for a crash course of terror into what it is like to be a yinzer! So get your ass to this great bar/restaurant, grab an Iron City, and hang on the back patio for the Drunken Yinzers Productions screening of “Jagoff Massacre”, see yinz there!

https://www.facebook.com/events/345141160641950/?ref=newsfeed

Gross Movie Reviews #547

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Gross Movie Reviews #547

A.M.I. (DVD) – We come to know a young female character Cassie who struggles with the death of her mom and just so happens to find a cell phone during a morning jog. She appropriately leaves it on a stump for the person who might be looking for it and as she walks away the phone asks her, “Do you need a friend?” Cassie’s best friend just showed this new app on your cell phone that once downloaded becomes your friend and knows you. This story taps right into what we all are waiting for to happen, ‘Skynet bitches!’ The A.I. has become so sophisticated it communicates, plays games, does homework, gets calls for you (Alexa anyone?), so this premise is right in the wheel house of every human on Earth. Anyway after an unsightly event with her father Cassie goes back and finds the phone is still there and answers it. This is where Cassie’s life changes especially when the phone convinces her to go off her meds and entices Cassie to kill her friends because they are not good for her! This R-rated Lifetime Network film takes Psychostalker to a whole new level as the film should be watched as a warning of what is already happening more than just another horror movie or I enjoyed the fucking shit out of this film as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Vermont Massacre (DVD) – Class of 2003 is celebrating their ten year reunion and decides hanging at a cabin for the weekend for one last party weekend is the way to celebrate it. But who would have guessed the caretaker wants to bang your cute friends and kill the rest? From beginning to end this film is shamefully horrible from the cast never looking like they would ever be friends to the dumb ass idea of putting a handicap person on a back of a truck that cannot even carrying all the characters that are going to cabin to begin with. The script is dumb, the cast is bored, the filmmaker put no passion into this project and it shows as I give it 0 stars. Idea time: sometimes it’s okay to not make the film…  

The Gingerweed Man (DVD) – A 45 minute short film from Full Moon recently that has the Gingerdead Man’s cousin running a weed dispensary with his business partner Barbara. The Gingerweed Man is known for having the best weed in town as he is always making deliveries every day. Well on his usual delivery route he hits up a friend and there he meets the great professor. This professor who is injured gives Gingerweed Man an experiment that needs to be protected from the likes of “Fu-Tech” as they will have evil uses for it. The experiment is named buddy and looks like one of those Mad Balls from the 80s but a smaller version but Buddy might be the future of the world or just the next great weed nug? So Gingerweed Man must mother buddy and save him from the evil entity Fu-Tech. The movie is uneventful but has its moments including bringing in Full Moon’s most racist character ever (OOGA BOOGA) as a sidekick as I give it 2 stars.

The Wrecking Crew (DVD) – A weirdo action flick of where Dead Martin is a bootleg James Bond and working as a U.S. agent that is given the task of recovering a billion dollars in gold that was stolen. If Martin’s character doesn’t recover the gold, it could send the world’s economy into the toilet! If you like Dean Martin music, knowing Bruce Lee helped do the fight chorography, and wanna see Dean Martin pull a helicopter out of a trunk of a car then this hilarious action flick is worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Mad Hatter (DVD) – A newer film that doesn’t know how to use Michael Berryman in the cast is a simple story of a professor leading a few of his students to a mansion for extra credit. Huge problem here kids, we all have seen this film way too many times before but the trailer and description on some websites make you believe we all were going to get some cool ‘Alice in Wonderland’ horror film?! Nope, not here instead you get to see how money is wasted on a film that should just be buried in the backyard or simply thrown out the window one night like I did with my copy of the ‘Black Christmas’ remake but that is for another time to explain as I give this foul smelling garbage that is called a horror film 0 stars.

House of Horrors (DVD) – A mid-40s black and white film about a struggling artist who saves a big ass human being that becomes known as “The Creeper” from drowning one evening. The artist shortly after embarks on his latest project: sculpting the face of “The Creeper” but is frustrated with his critics and says out loud “They should die”. So the big man or The Creeper goes around strangling critics. Once the artist understands this monster of a man will do anything he says to do the artist uses this new power to wipe the slate clean of his critics. Nothing like a good old monster flick but in this case an artist abusing his new found power as I give the flick 3 stars.

The Beast Must Die (DVD) – A wonderful film that isn’t exactly what you think it is about a man named Tom who wants to hunt the ultimate animal, the werewolf! The film starts off like ‘Surviving the Game’ but is a test as Tom is a rich man with a vision as he is a hunter who plans his hunts. Tom has spent an awful a lot of money to secure his mansion, place cameras out in the forest, and have sensors to know every move of the people he has invited to his place for the weekend. Why has he done this, well the people he has invited Tom believes one of them are a werewolf and he wants to hunt the beast. The film being in on the plot doesn’t shy away from this gimmick as they call it a detective story in the beginning and even have a werewolf clock about ¾’s the way into the film for the viewer to pick who the werewolf is? The film might seem a little corny by today’s standards but still an effective film worth viewing as I now know where ‘Howling V: The Rebirth’ stole its plot as I give this gimmicky but worthy werewolf entry 3 stars.

Spine Chiller (DVD) – An Indy retro-80s style anthology that was released a couple years ago that deserves your attention fellow yinzers. Okay, yes I know everyone is making an anthology (hell I am) and if you are doing an independent anthology production that is equal to telling people you have the ‘death curse’. But people let’s all get past that so you can enjoy this little Halloween feature that will make you throw this in your pile to watch every October! The anthology doesn’t have horror hosts but rather great story telling that has all the stories interconnecting and progressing into a fun, spooky, atmospheric ride through horror that doesn’t disappoint. The film plays it serious with all the spooky tales and I may not be a fan of the ending but this tale of Halloween is something I refuse to describe it too much because I feel it could be the next ‘ (2007) Trick ‘r Treat’ for independent fans… yes I went there as I give it 3 ½ stars.     

Midnite Spares (DVD/YouTube) – An early 80s Australian film about a sprint car driver Steve Hall coming back home of sorts looking for his father only to find a ruined mechanic shop. Not discouraged Steve looks for his father and meets a lovely girl named Maria while racing the local circuit. But Steve comes to find out the towing business has become corrupt and his father may have been killed for not being a part of it. Lots of crazy ass stunts, a dirty Bruce Spence, and sprint car racing fill this adventurous action film as I give it 3 stars.

Driving Force (DVD/YouTube) – Flash Gordon gets into a tow truck war with Patrick Swayze’s brother in the Philippines and Daisy Duke proves she still had it going on for herself in 1989 or there just to be Sam Jones babysitter half the movie. Not enough for you look for Billy Banks trying way too hard to act in a film that no acting was required? Or as I like to call this flick “ Post-apocalyptic Tow Truck Wars” that is missing Michael Madsen for that extra spice as I give it 2 stars because it made me laugh several times.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #546

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Gross Movie Reviews #546

The Manson Family Massacre (DVD) – Or as I would to call this film “crap we already knew”… Anyway the film is set in 1992 after reacting the beginning of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ with the Manson Family murders we are introduced to a young female musician who is looking to go darker with her music. Of course she lives in the place where the murders took place and it gets a little paranormal from there as the film does flashbacks of the Manson Family dealing with their drug deals and the fallout from them. Blah, blah blah, yinz all know the stories by now. There isn’t anything knew other than the short film about the musician that doesn’t know she is dreaming with most of the film being a reenactment like it was on the ID channel or something. I hate to say it folks but this crap can eat donkey shit as I give 0 stars.

Swim (Tubi) – Joey Lawrence and family are heading to their favorite rental property on the coast for a month of vacation. When they arrive the family quickly realizes their property manager dude sucks at his job and fixed nothing! And oh yeah there is a shark randomly stalking their vacation home but what else would you expect from a cheap boring Asylum flick. Yes kids a storm begins and soon the horrible stalker, the shark jumps into the home where the family is trapped and is forced to fend off the fiend until help comes since they didn’t know to leave during a horrible storm? As the water rises I’d hope for people to be eaten by this ridiculous shark but the body count is super low and boring. This is prime example of why I get more excited for random shark films ‘Shark Exorcist’ and ‘Ouija Shark’ as I give this 0 stars.

Bats the Awakening (DVD) – Apparently this UK film couldn’t afford Lou Diamond Phillips and went ahead anyway to establish a killer bat film with two guys sharing a girl in an abandoned home… Wait, what did PornHub make a horror movie? No fellow yinzers they did not but I will give kudos for one of the weirdest openings to a horror movie I have seen in quite some time as it made me question if I had the right film on. Anyhow a family returns to the family home (this wasn’t fully explained in the film plot but IMDB claimed there was a toxic spill, but there wasn’t anyone else in this village, Chernobyl???) They quickly figure out they must battle it out with the bat creature that lives in the attic or they should of just called Lou Diamond Phillips anyway as I give the film 1 star.

Black Friday (DVD) – An interesting thriller for oldie but goodie movie fans that stars Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. A gangster has his brain transplanted into another man’s body to save a doctor’s friend. Of course there are side effects and the gangster has some debts to settle. Not a horror movie at all but this dynamitic duo is well worth the effort to seek out and enjoy as I give it 3 stars.

Naked Girl Murdered in the Park (DVD) – A supposedly long lost giallo from 1972 that recently got a release from Full Moon of all places. An older fellow has just taken out a huge ass insurance policy and within hours is found dead on an amusement ride. The insurance company is super curious and does not wanna pay out the dough as they begin their own investigation aside from the local authorities. The daughter of the man who seems to benefit the most from this death keeps getting strange phone calls and just wants to why her father was even at an amusement park. As the insurance investigator gets in deep with the family including the daughter and her sister (again is this another plot from PornHub or was this film already predicting the future of internet porn?!) he proceeds to finds answers but the bodies are also dropping. Giallos are not my usual cup of tea but I kind of liked this one as I gotta give it 2 ½ stars.

Blood Red Sky (DVD) – Think ’30 Days of Night’ on an airplane as the wife described it which I agree with her and that does not happen often. A plane lands in Scotland because the threat of terrorists and authorities has the plane surrounded with a boy coming out of the cargo hold area and no one else. Then the movie back tracks several hours to show how we got to this point. The plane leaves its destination with no issues as the film centers around a boy and his mother. The mother is heading to America with her child for a treatment that could help her with the rare condition she has… being a vampire! Anyhow Dominic Purcell and other hijackers have a different plan as they take over the plane once over the ocean and plan to blow it up once they have gotten what they came for. The mother is shot during the fracas trying to protect the boy and believes to be dead but her vampire powers kick in and you would have thought Dominic Purcell would have seen this coming? ‘Blade III’ folks he should know better?  Once the vampire powers kick in the mother is all about kicking ass or eating hijackers to protect the boy. One problem she spread her virus to a complete psycho hijacker who turns some of his crew into immortals which led to me screaming at the TV a couple times, “we got to get these mother fucking vampires off the mother fucking plane”! Great story, lots of gore, the film runs a little long but another under the radar horror film out there that horror fans should be more than happy to eat up as I give it 3 stars.

Santo: The Fist of Death (DVD) – An early 80s Santo flick that was super boring as sisters fight over something cosmic called “The Almighty Star” and they talk to a C-3PO head that is their god. Meanwhile, Santo or man with no face comes to fulfill the prophecy but must ride a boat for what seemed 75% of the film before he faces off with the Gold Power Ranger which lasts a whole 30 seconds. This was super lame compared to past Santo films where he is suplexing werewolves in caves as I can only give this a ½ star.

A Dark Song (DVD) – Before all the ‘Hereditary’ bullshit there was this lesser known Irish horror film that made a splash at the festivals a few years ago. A woman who recently lost her child which we do not learn how exactly until later in the film is renting a home to set up a ritual. But not just any ritual, but something that deals with angels and demons and shit where she must set up everything perfectly and hires a man who has claimed to do three of these so-called rituals. This is all so this woman can see and talk to her son again as it has been beyond devastating loss she cannot get over. Sophia must painfully follow the procedure to go through each stage and follow instructions without question since this process can take months? As the torture becomes unbearable she is about to bail but quickly learns she must finish the ritual. If looking for crazy creatures and gore you will be watching this for the wrong reasons. Looking for a story driven horror film that literally focuses in on two characters to carry it for over 90 minutes this will the film you have been looking for as I give it 2 ½ stars.    

The Last Mercenary (On Demand) – JCVD does it again in this action/comedy where he plays an old school mercenary named Richard who after 25 years comes out of hiding because a local dunce of a Paris police officer has made a clerical error on purpose. He stops monthly payments to a guy named Archie who just happens to be Richard’s son but doesn’t know it and has lost immunity from everything that he didn’t know he had. See a gangster who has watched ‘Scarface’ way too many times as stolen his identity so he can stay in France and sell drugs and the Paris police and government are involved also. Once Richard is back, he must save his son and stop the government or one dude that is still upset Richard plowed his wife 25 years ago before they all die! A hilarious French action/comedy that I could not stop laughing from beginning to end as I give JCVD’s latest venture 3 stars.

Lost in Cleveland (YouTube) – Steve Rudzinski’s latest short film about Ben and Blake who are “business partners” that travel to Cleveland for a movie gig? Ben is the actor and Blake is the partner that wanted to come along but bored as his partner can be out for long hours or days at a time during these movie shoots. Blake meets Steve the filmmaker while lurking around sadly around the hotel. The two hit it off immediately and discuss how they are very similar in how they view their relationships right now and decide to spend lots of time together. This 19 minute short is brilliant and for Indy fans who have not seen any of Steve’s past work this would be a great introduction to Steve Rudzinski and BPO films project libraries as they are some of the best talent the Indy film world has to offer as I give this 4 out of 4 stars! This and more can be found at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

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