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Gross Movie Reviews #608

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The Amityville Curse (Tubi) – Well kids filmmaker Eric Tessier decided to throw his hat into the ‘Amityville’ ring with entry #51 that became a TUBI exclusive. This film into the never ending franchise has a group of friends moving in together in the legendary haunted house with plans to fix and flip (interesting?). Of course it doesn’t take long for weird shit to begin happening in the house and the group of friends begin to die. They thought the ‘murder house’ thing was overblown but oh they were wrong after the first of them die and the internet freaks come to cash in on the legend? We get a séance, suicide, a priest, and even possession. The film does its best to keep it serious and connect to the original all the way to the bad ending. Now you can take that for what’s it worth as this is one of the better entries into the series but felt the filmmaker painted himself into a corner with this ending coming just to keep alive a chance of a sequel? We all know there was going to be another but this had something going like “Amityville: The Awakening” but fizzled as I give 2 ½ stars.

Bathtub Shark Attack (Theater) – Only from the brilliant mind of independent filmmaker Maddie Deering could a killer shark movie that takes place at times in a “bathtub” and star Lynn Lowry. Hello… SyFy Channel, Discovery, I think you have your next hire? A bubbly couple down on their luck happen to stumble on an offer of great proportions or let’s say cheap when they find the perfect apartment they can afford. Unbeknownst to the couple this little apartment house is home of a dark secret and few are left to talk about it as the tenants usually check in but never check out. As the longer they stay the more Cindy changes as this causes Chad to get to the bottom of the strange happenings and find out how there is a connection to an evil shark god that likes to feast on people in their tubs! This SOV throwback has everything from wall to wall gore, to Lynn Lowry, to human ritual sacrifices (sort of don’t want to give everything away), to a plumber that refuses to die, to a shark that has a dick?! You may believe you have seen every shark movie but there is no way in hell you could think of any more zanier or entertaining shark movie than Maddie Deering delivers here as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

She Came from the Woods (Tubi) – Bad ass William Sadler stars and produces this nostalgic slasher that takes places at a summer camp 1987. It is the end of the season for Camp Briarbrook and the young staff as usual as the end of the season fire, drinking and such but this year decide hey lets be stupid and do a bloodletting ritual. This is something to do with an urban myth a decade or two back but learn the hard way this was something that really happened and camp counselors are getting shredded by an evil camp nurse from the past! This has a good pace, good formula, a good amount of blood and feel like horror fans will be in for a treat as the summer kicks along as I give this 3 stars.

Night Monster (DVD) – One those oldies but goodies from 1942 starring Bela Lugosi that I never had the pleasure seeing completely through until now. A crippled rich man summons a group of doctors to his mansion to witness a miracle but of course the doctors believe they are just there for a large donation. With the help of mystic powers the doctors’ witness the miracle and a couple refuse to believe it goes beyond modern medicine while another believes they were summon there for revenge by Mr. Ingston. The doctors one by one the doctors die but who is doing the killing as Mr. Ingston cannot even get him out of bed. A fun little oldie that is great for beginner horror movie fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Midnight Screening (DVD) – Supposedly this is an Indy slasher that takes place at a movie theater where employees are getting to watch the latest movie at a midnight screening before the public? But instead is an utter boring piece of trash with an ending that will leave you wanting to forget this movie actual exists. Now seriously: you have the location, a passable or possible likable cast, and this is all you come up with? Need to sleep at night watch this and you’ll be sleeping like a baby in ten minutes as I give it 0 stars.

VampyrZ on a Boat (DVD) – Not sure what in the hell I exactly watched but here goes… apparently there is a scientist on a boat that is researching an unstoppable force locked in the bottom of a vessel, a vampire. This scientist’s goal of course is to find cures for (insert whatever disease here) and figure out how this is possible? The other plotline going here is this old dude (Max) who may or may not been some kind of merc decades ago and now is old and retired getting it on with this young hottie Sara. Vampire gets loose and spreads the infection; Max gets clobbered in the head with a hammer by his friend and then gets stuck in some kind of “Groundhog Day” time loop… maybe? It kept my interest but totally sure what the fuck I watched as I give it 2 stars.

The Black Demon (DVD) – A Mexican shark film that mostly takes place on an oil rig off the coast of Mexico. Paul a rep for Nixon Oil and his family head there for a family vacation and for him to do an inspection on the oil rig to decide if it’s worth saving or decommission it. Instead they come to a dead small Mexican town and a giant shark that may or may not be a mythical god seeking revenge on those who have taken too much from the earth. If you like your shark movies a little mushy and family oriented with lots of floating body parts then you’ll be entertained as I give the shark flick 2 stars.

American Bigfoot (DVD) – Okay what in the shitty Bigfoot fuck did I stumble into as this was one of four Bigfoot movies with the same title but this was the first as it was released in 2015 and then rereleased in 2017. Zach Gilligan has a small town detective? Clint Howard as a complete throw away character? And we have a Bigfoot kid who gets shot by a hunter hunting out of season in Nelsonville and I believe the hunter was the only one that dies by the bad looking bootleg version of something from “Land of the Lost” or an old costume from Ringo Starr’s “Caveman”. Oh did I mention Bigfoot kidnaps a kid? I wish I could say this film was played for laughs but this complete mess wasn’t so stay away because I cannot give this more than 0 stars.

Deathrow Gameshow (DVD) – This is one of those movies that literally if you are over 40 you remember finding this weird over the top horror/comedy gem on Skinamax at 3am? Anyhow a nice special edition has been released in recent years finally as gain resurgence in viewing. The film is based around the most hated TV host ‘Chuck’ who hosts “Live or Die” where prison inmates have a chance to play a game and if they win they go free but usually they don’t. But the bright side is they can win cash and prizes for their families before they check out of life. On a daily basis Chuck is threaten until one day he its different a hitman comes looking for him after an incident concerning a mob boss on the Gameshow. Hijinks follows, the hitman’s mother gets blown up on the show and now Chuck wants out because he has found love. Honestly there is no true way to describe this gem from the video days than other it entertain the shit out of us when we found it late that night after the latest entry in the “Emmanuelle” series as I give it 3 stars.

McBain (Blu-ray) – For me at least this was a lost film from James Glickenhaus who did one of my favorite gritty flicks “The Exterminator”! I literally never heard of this or knew it existed but apparently Glickenhaus made another Vietnam vet getting revenge flick in 1991 that had an all-star cast that included Christopher Walken and Maria Conchita Alonso as the headliners. This bad ass film begins in South Vietnam 1973, the war is over and Santos and his army buddies are on their way home. They spot possible camp for POWs and decide they will regret it if they don’t do something. After an intense invasion they meet McBain who was a prisoner which sets the tone for the rest of the flick. 18 years later in Columbia Santos trying to help the people of Columbia to overtake a ruthless drug lord/dictator who has ruined the people and the country’s reputation but fails as he is shot on live TV. Santos sister seeks the help of McBain who gets the band back together so these army buddies can fly in, invade, and help the people of Columbia. It has a little of everything in this film including emotion which you don’t always see in these types of action films from the early 90s. The film looks crisp and clean as usual from Synapse, has a new surround sound track for the film, original trailer, and a great commentary from Glickenhaus himself and film historian Chris Poggali. A wonderful action film surprise for me and I am sure some others out there that will want to purchase this at www.synapse-films.com as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. But I was left with one question about the film: I felt like the Christopher Walken part was written for Robert Ginty? But hey that might just be me being a nerd for “The Exterminator”.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

That’s it! Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast comes to an end… for now?

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It’s been 12 or so odd years but it has all come to an end.  This is the final episode of the podcast, and in our typical fashion we have picked some mediocre movies to go out on. First John has picked a Robert Forrester starring and directed flick featuring genre staple “greasy” Joe Spinell in HOLLYWOOD HARRY.  And then Tim pick a real Tim kinda movie in MUTANT VAMPIRES FROM PLANET NEPTUNE.  And Kyle says “fair is fair” and talks about the beloved LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN.  We do all the regular stuff on the episode like answer your questions, read the news, and review what we have been watching over the past week.  And we also take a walk back to pick out some of our favorite movies we have ever featured on the show.  So download this episode and help us erase the memory of Pondo and The Party Animal from our minds.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

A couple of lost episodes of the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast in this batch

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This week we come back to regale you with the pleasant tones of our voices screeching about weirdo movies… And we found another 3 flicks regulated to the darkest, dirtiest, most disgusting shelves of our collections.  First Tim picks a sci fi flick that almost every mom and pop video shop had but nobody seemed to check out in STARSHIP,  Then in honor of Michelle Nichols passing John picked one of her genre flicks in THE SUPERNATURALS,  and finally Kyle decides it’s finally time to check out ROAD GAMES starring Stacy Keach and Jamie Lee Curtis.  And we also do the rounds talking about what we watched while we were away, Answer your listener questions, and read all the news which may or may not be true.  So download this episode or Stacy Keach’s  dog will bite you in the butt.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we have 3 doozies to review and talk about.  First what if Dracula from the monster squad impersonated an ancient Aztec warrior and went around murdering people in a Cinemax like sleazy late night thriller… cause that is what we got in THE BANKER. Then Kyle want’s to catch up with the antichrist in DAMIEN: OMEN II. And finally an eldritch god in a rest stop bathroom needs some help in GLORIOUS.  We also talk about what’s happening in the movie rumor laden internet, read your questions, and rundown what we have been watching the last weeks.  So download this episode or no Lovecraft Glory Hole for you!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Another week is upon us and that means another show.  On this one John talks KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK, and fuck you Gene Simmons we bootlegged this movie!  Tim picks the new Brandon Cronenberg flick INFINITY POOL, And Kyle picks a real “DAD” movie in which Lee Marvin Fights Ernest Borgnine for the hobo train riding championship belt in EMPEROR OF THE NORTH.  We also have all the thrilling thrills of reading your listener questions, checking out the world of internet movie speculation, and recapping what we have watched this week.  So download this episode or Ernest Borgnine won’t give you a handy on a sundrenched beach.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #607

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Oops! You’re a Vampire (DVD) – Here comes something of a little different for the Indy vampire genre from writer/director Phil Messerer who is a vet in independent filmmaking. The film has some great musical touches and sets the tone quickly with its quirky feels of a late 90s/early 2000s SOV flick. The creative vampire film introduces the viewer to a young lady Lara who is gives us a fun look at family and how they are killing her slowly along with living in sleepy Sugarloaf, New York. But things change after one evening where Lara is introduced to a book (Illustrated Book of Vampires) and performs a ritual on her twin sister Helen in hopes of getting “the anal acne curse”. Helen next day dies of an extreme nose bleed! But the dead don’t stay dead especially when they are a vampire and thirst for blood after death. This is where the weirdness begins with Lara’s brother researching what happen with Helen, Lara panicking that her sister is still haunting her life from the grave, and mom just trying to keep the family together you will enjoy along with a little dry humor that also gives a little extra life to a genre that has seen way too many bad creations over the years. I like the running time, the set-up, some of the background visuals at the beginning, but if there is a flaw I would have liked the sound to be better? Anyway any casual independent film fan needs to do them a favor and get ahold of this entertaining flick as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. You can check out the film here:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0B6RYPSQT/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

Tales of the Third Dimension (YouTube) – A long out of print anthology from 1984 that took me a few minutes of watching before knowing that I had seen it I believe when I was 10 or 11 years old. We got a skeleton puppet as the narrator and wraparound telling jokes and setting up each story as we get three stories. The first is a vampire couple who are looking to adopt a child and get the “problem child”. Second story is set in the past a bit where two guys Charlie and Freddy get greedy and go grave robbing for riches. The third story is weird and hilarious as the grandkids are left with Grandma for Christmas week and she attempts to kill the kids but fails when Santa shows up to save the day. The anthology has its flaws but still a lot of fun and surprised there hasn’t been a special edition of this anthology out there yet as I give it 3 stars.

What Waits Below (DVD) – A 1985 adventure film that stars Lisa Blount from ‘Prince of Darkness’ fame where the army has lost its transmitter in a remote place of the world where a cave is the entrance for a whole other world. An Army consultant and some scientists find this cave and go exploring for the transmitter only to find another race of humanoids living deep in the caves who stole the transmitter. Starts off interesting but putters out quickly and the humanoids fail to have that ‘wow’ factor keeping me interesting as I have to give this film only 2 stars.

Fear Pharm (DVD) – Four young people head to the local family-owned corn maze on Halloween that has stories about an unfortunate cult-like incident 15 years ago that no one can really prove or disprove. Melanie, one of the four in the group happens to be the “10,000 person” to come through the gate and gets the chance to go through the “VIP maze”. The group makes it through in so much time they win $10,000! But is it too good to be true, the kids don’t care as it will be fun getting scared and possibly winning a whole lot of cash. Problem is the group doesn’t know if they don’t make it through they will die. Without giving too much away because I consider this film to be “the little horror film that could”. But the filmmaker and crew made great use of location, great camera work at times, and kept the story lean and fresh. This movie has no business being as good as it actually is? They took a generic horror formula that has been used several times in recent years and gave it substance! One of my favorite parts of the film is a character getting his arm cut off and his reaction to it was simple but effective. This is the type of film for horror fans that is a gem that gets talked about well after its release when it hits a streaming platform like Shudder and Tubi and makes you wonder how this didn’t get a bigger release? Anyway I say fucking enjoy kids as this was a huge surprise and have to give it 3 ½ stars.

Evil Dead Rise (On Demand) – So I waited for the lunacy to die out a bit before I tackled watching this film just like I did with the remake. Now to explain myself: don’t get me wrong I am a huge ‘Evil Dead’ fan like a lot of people but felt it was done after we got ‘Evil Dead vs. Ash’ TV series. I thought that chapter of Bruce, Sam, and Robert was over. On top of that the trailers for this film reminded me of ‘REC’ way too much. So take this however you but it’s a bit of a rant and a review? Anyway after an earthquake hole opens up in a parking garage of an apartment building that unearths an opening into an old vault below. This kid crawls down and of course finds the “book of the dead” and some albums to go with it. As soon as he plays them some Evil Dead shit happens and you have your movie. Is it bad… no. Is it memorable… no. Again just like the remake the lunatics lost their mind but once that dies out as it will just like before it is hard if not impossible to come close to what the originals did. Don’t get me wrong I am glad somebody is trying something with the series to give a new generation of horror fans a fun movie but please do not compare to what was already done because this is just a wannabe of what could have been done? No matter what hopefully this inspires the series to take off in another direction as I can only give this film 2 stars as I should of just stuck with ‘meh’ as my review.

Destiny to Order (VHS/YouTube) – Leave it to me to watch another Canadian out of print movie that you really cannot classify in any certain genre especially when you have Michael Ironside playing violin in this 1989 flick I never heard of until now. JD is an author who has just about completed another manuscript when he heads to the roof for a smoke with a friend and talks about life. A storm occurs and his computer has a system error that’s sets events in motion where all his characters from his books come to life and he is now living the story. Problem is his bad guy of the story has stolen the main disk and now wants rewrites and figures out he is now the author. The film is sloppy and weird but does have Michael Ironside and that will always make it worth a watch as I give the film 2 stars.

Scream (On Demand) – For those counting while reading this that is number five which after the last entry about a decade or so ago I thought that shit was done. But you know me and sequels so it was time to give this horror franchise a chance again and see what I was getting into? Personally I believed they told all they could through the third film and the fourth felt way too much like cash on nostalgia that just didn’t go over well at all. So it has been 25 years since the original events in Woodsboro and this sequel goes through the motions of capturing that and reintroducing old surviving characters. But unlike that last sequel this had a much different feel and introduces two sisters (Sam and Tara) who are the new main focus and likable characters. Again without giving too much away this film felt like the original three and the right respect of how to allow the new characters have fun and bring horror fans back in the fold of the movie within the movie as I give the film 3 stars.

Scream 6 (On Demand) – Another sequel was quickly pooped out into existence but yet again expanded the ‘Scream/Stab universe’ as this follows some of the things they did with part two as the cast points it out throughout this film. Now the sisters are living in New York dealing with the fallout differently of being part of the Ghost face legacy. Sam is looking after Tara because she wants to protect her at all costs but just like Gale and Sid explained the first time around “you are now a part of this”. Once again they use the Billy Loomis character from the first film as a plot point and filmmaker gave this movie a more of a violent revenge plot of sorts as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest Movie Schedule is up!

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August 5th, 2023

(Understand some movie times may be off a minute or two because of changing movies, people getting settled, pause for an award, or a filmmaker who may want to say a few words. It will be tight and most likely run over 7pm a few minutes at the end but it will be good. Besides we are a small show with a small crew trying to do everything we can to put this on so as always things are subject to change…)

Because it is Grossfest tradition we always start the show with this:

Hexercise 11:05am – 11:25am

Doomsday Stories 11:25am -1:27pm

Night of the Axe 1:27pm – 2:30pm

Bathtub Shark Attack 2:30pm – 4:05pm

(Quick pause for anyone that wants to run to the main room and see the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award presented)

Then My Mind Walked Away 4:05pm – 5:10pm

Shingles the Movie 5:10pm – 7:10pm

http://www.grossfest.com

Grossfest has sold out vendor spaces!

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Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in for movies, vendors, and just hanging with some very cool talented people

Start making plans…

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East
699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235
412-244-1600
or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com
Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention… again!
See yinz there!

Movies that will play that day (times will be posted in the next few weeks along with the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award being given away once again, and yes we know who we are giving it to already)

Grossfest guests:
Drew Marvick
Madeline Deering
Jim Roberts
James L. Edwards
Steve Rudzinski
Adam Clevenger
The Mummy and the Monkey

Movies:
Hexercise
Then My Mind Walked Away
Shingles The Movie
Bathtub Shark Attack
Doomsday Stories
Night of the Axe

Check our Grossfest group page or www.grossfest.com for list of vendors. Plus any questions or comments please send to grossfest@gmail.com

Vendors:
Cluck, Cluck Productions
Glyphs & Glam
Dazed and Disorderly
Barry the Movie Demon
Wolf Hollow LLC
MMH Productions
Pgh Scrubs Guy
Minerva’s Trinkets
Nostalgic Nightmare Productions
Face Melt Productions
Broaden Torture Productions
Drunken Yinzers Productions
Video Nasty Productions
13 Occult
Shoggoth Suds
Midnight Magazine
Independent American Pictures
Addison Binek
Lou Ickes
48 Hour Film Project
Kiss of Death Productions
Cindy’s Creature Chaos
The Cinema Psychos Show
The Artwork of Travis Trium Perfectum
1331 Studios
Neens Soaps
Such Babz Customs
Sydneys Scrunchies
Spirit of Halloween
Magical Resin Shop

Gross Movie Reviews #606

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Renfield (On Demand) – Nic Cage as Dracula and Nicholas Hoult as Renfield oh I was in for this from day one when the trailer hit. But instead of just telling another story directly about Dracula this story is from the point of view of Renfield in present day and his struggles with serving his master. Times have changed and it’s much tougher for Renfield to navigate today’s society let alone having his own doubts about what he is doing so he joins a support group. After the crazy opening of this film as Renfield narrates it is one laugh after another because the chaos Renfield deals with along with making a new friend by accident. While Renfield isn’t at his support group wanting out of his toxic relationship with his boss Renfield is helping his new cop friend Quincy a loud mouth cop trying to bring down a crime family. The film is hilariously over the top but at the same time super entertaining as Nic Cage just eats up the chance of playing Dracula. For me at least I found myself admiring what Nic Cage did as I haven’t seen quite a performance like this since Vincent Price in the original “House on Haunted Hill” or more recent decades Rutger Hauer in “Split Second”. This bloody good time has much rewatch ability and feel this will become a horror staple around Halloween for horror fans who want to lighten up the mood as I can’t help but give this terrific film 4 stars.

Death Toilet 3: Doody Calls (Tubi) – The Vietnam vet Baxter is finally set in present day with this sequel which by the way has anybody questioned how this dude is not old enough to serve? I know it’s important to the plot… Anyway, filmmaker Evan Jacobs has brought back the Baxter character for another go around of shooting up satanic toilets. It has been years since Baxter has had any issues but during that slow time has developed a death toilet meter, trying to fix his old truck, and eventually selling his brother’s house where this ‘mess’ started. But the death toilets refuse to stay dead and are back again forcing Baxter to do something extreme as bringing back his priest friend from the dead to help him track the death toilets! It all leads to huge climax in the original bathroom where it started but will this be the end? Actually no because I have found two more sequels and it is just a matter of me tracking down ways of watching these two latest sequels as I give this more watchable Indy sequel 2 stars

Pillow Party Massacre (DVD) – Yes kids cross another off the list. This film does present day “Slaughter High” in reverse as a young lady named Ash has a prank pulled on her at the ‘Spring Formal’ in a high school bathroom. Minutes later Ash believing her life is ruined finds her asshole boyfriend and shoots him in the head sending everyone into mass chaos. Two years go by and her former friends head to a cabin for a weekend of fun. Once the wheels are in motion we know what is going to happen in this slasher as a mysterious or not so mysterious killer shows up to kill off the girls one by one. The film gets started quickly but goes into super dramatic mode for a long period of time which dulls the impact of the fun this slasher film could have had? I like the cast and the script is there just felt this film could have used less dramatics in the storyline as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cinco de Mayo (DVD) – A 70 minute Indy holiday film that pays homage of sorts to “USA Up All Night” while giving a blast of a no budget horror film that shouldn’t be as good as it was! A teacher to trying his best to teach his students to heritage and culture of Mexico and his last ditch effort is to give the young minds passion like his for the upcoming holiday. But in this racist society Mr. Valdez or “El Maestro” may have finally been pushed too far as unbeknownst to him he was a part of a social experiment that goes wrong quickly. Is it Mr. Valdez just had enough of stupid people or is it really the social experiment that makes him begins his slaughter? You cannot go wrong with this no budget Indy flick that needs to be celebrated and talked about more as I give the film 3 stars.

The Norah Zone (YouTube/DVD) – I was finally able to track down this Dutch (I think) post-apocalyptic short film (38 minutes) where the whole world went to shit. Europe has become a forbidden zone and we have survivors devolving and torturing each other for survival of sorts as supplies run low. The film feels experimental or even like a student film where they took the middle plot of a post-apocalyptic film and threw it on screen with not much of ending or exactly a beginning (that is debatable). Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed what I watched just felt like this was something shown from a much bigger project if that makes sense as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Prey (DVD) – Aka Alien Prey aka Terror in Amityville Park as you can see why I finally decided to sit down and watch this film so I can add it to the “Amityville list”? Does it really belong there? That is a very good question as this was released in 1977 before the original Amityville but yet somehow at some point in time got an Amityville title… but it has aliens man! With that out of the way I present entry #48 as the opening credits gave me childhood flashbacks playing the Atari 2600. Some strange dude named Anderson appears on a young couple’s property one morning in the countryside. This of course happens after the night before where flashing lights and another couple killed near their car in the middle of nowhere. See where sex gets you kids? The couple takes him in but uneasy about it as it disrupts their dream life as the suspense and the tension builds between the three. When the couple isn’t looking Anderson high tails it back to this cabin to communicate with his home base about humans. This whole thing from beginning to end is weird fucking set up as I give it 2 stars.

The Unspoken (DVD) – Aka The Origin of The Amityville Terror from 2015, apparently the Amityville part got renamed in the Italian markets causing this to be entry #49. Now it would appear this was just in title only but spoiler alert but there is a little tidbit at the end of the film that makes this part of the series… sort of. Just pay attention because you will most likely have the same reaction I did after watching it for 80 minutes and say, “Really?” The film opens in mid-October 1997 where an officer checks out a disturbance on Briar Road that just so happens to be a murder scene with a family missing. Flashes forward 17 years where a young lady Angela takes a job at the murder house because her father has been out of work for the past two months. Angela is there to take care of a non-verbal nine year old while his mother gets the place fixed up ignoring the stories of the place. The paranormal film has the usual jump scares but throws in a little different flavor into the stale storyline with the local rednecks storing their drugs in the basement of the place so the cops wouldn’t find their stash. Now I am not gonna say this movie was absolutely awesome but I did enjoy not watching the same paint-by-numbers paranormal film or Amityville film. Again the connection is at the end folks and you will understand if I don’t say it so you can at least enjoy this flick until end comes then hate for mentioning this more unknown film I give 2 stars too.

The Dawn (DVD) – Aka The Amityville Dawn or entry #50 was released in 2019 without anyone knowing and again falls under the category “we can debate whether it’s a part of the series but there is one part at the end that has the connection kind of thing”. This is why I stayed away from reviewing these last couple of entries but wanting to be a completest of this series I thought it was time to allow them in. We begin in 1922 Pennsylvania where a little girl watches her father who was a war vet lose his mind and kill his family one evening. Rose is then sent away to a church a couple states away and becomes a staple there as she is on the verge of taking her final vows as a nun but something keeps stopping her ten years later. Rose’s nightmares are getting worse and most likely the root cause of her not taking her final vows in this super boring movie about a possessed nun that waits almost 90 minutes to show the viewer the connection to the Amityville series as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Pope’s Exorcist (On Demand) – A movie based on a real priest known as Father Amorth (played by Russell Crowe) who has seeked out possible demon possessions for the church and has the latitude to do what is needed to be done to rule out exorcism. This story takes place in summer 1987 Spain where an American family comes to a very old large estate to fix it up and sell before moving back home. But from the beginning strange things are happening there and the construction crew backs out after a tragic accident and the child Henry acting weird. Doesn’t take long for the church to hear about this and Father Amorth is sent immediately as the high church have had problems with this property before? The son becomes possessed but this is not the usual demon or demons Amorth has come across in the past as he must unravel the mystery of the property in order to save the child. If you love possession movies this will be right up your alley with the plot, Crowe’s performance, and knowing when to end the movie as it doesn’t cover any new ground but makes sure it is entertaining for horror fans as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Death to Metal (DVD) – An Indy film where it opens with a couple bad rednecks dumping toxic waste into the local creek which doesn’t come into play for a bit. But a local priest Milton Kilborn is suspended from his parish for being a little on the extreme side and he takes it out on his parish with theft. He follows it up with wrecking into the local creek and mutating into a monster that wants to slaughter sinners in the name of god. Meanwhile the latest Metal Massacre show has its own drama going on back stage until the mutated priest pays the show a visit and begins a bloodbath! There is some gore, great locations; the story is fun, great music but felt like the first half of the film was an awesome set up then the second half felt off or didn’t exactly fit like a little more editing could have been done? But don’t let that discourage you from enjoying this death metal Indy bonanza as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #605

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (On Demand) – It is dumb, it is cheesy, it finally captures what the game is like, and it is that fantasy film we need every few years to just not think but watch and enjoy. The movie gets somewhat nerdy but fun as the basic premise revolves around a harper Edgin and his partner in crime Holga trying to right some wrongs and save the world without knowing are going too! I absolutely enjoyed this flick as it is exactly what I thought it should be as I give 3 ½ stars.

Freeze (DVD) – An old time warship heads into icy waters in the Artic following another ship’s course that got lost. The captain keeps a book with him and doesn’t tell everything or the real reason he is rushing into the artic to his crew as they get ice locked and now have a blood thirsty creature aboard the ship. The crew abandons ship quickly as the creature makes short work of the humans. What is left of the crew crosses the ice and finds a cave that holds a secret or two and their deaths. The creatures were bad ass but felt like the story sort of fell apart once hitting the cave? Thought it would be better as I can only give it 2 stars.

Revenge of Mr. Willie (DVD) – A SOV flick from 1999 that is basically a sex comedy horror film that has no business being as hilarious as it was… A group of young ladies who are roommates like to share stories about their sexual exploits until one finds her boyfriend in multiple relationships after he dies having too much sex. In the aftermath rando women begin to fight, cut off his penis (you have to see the situation to understand), and when police arrive the 3 ½ inch penis goes missing! Apparently Pete’s penis is very popular and called “Mr. Willie” and has come back to life only to be caught in a popcorn tin by the young ladies to be given to police. But two of Pete’s other conquests enter the picture and they have other plans for the undead penis! From there we got flying penis, remote control car penis, penis in a mouse trap, and supernatural penis talk. Again this movie has no business being this hilarious but it’s all about the penis and I am for that as I give it 3 stars.   

Guts on the Chainsaw (Blu-ray) – This Indy flick begin with the narrator explaining how people have disappeared into the backwoods of Pennsylvania since 1960 how a lot of times the cases are never solved. This sets up our introduction to Nova who is disturbed by the nightmares she keeps having of a chainsaw wielding maniac. This is all a part of Nova’s journey of defeating her demons of the past as she travels the woods alone. A lot of Nova just trying to face her fears in order to move on with life. There is lots of dramatic buildup to Nova facing off with the forest weirdos but in the end her turning into Lara Croft wasn’t all what it’s cracked up to be. So with that let’s dive a little more into this feature as I believe there is a movie somewhere in this mess. I was happy to see an independent film try to use music to help tell the story but for me it was the wrong stuff (just my opinion). The film did a good job of keeping a TCM/Wrong Turn feel but the killers were to clean to be cannibals or least what horror fans are use too and that fake computer smoke for the chainsaws was just terrible. Like I said there is a movie somewhere in this mess just not the one I wanted as I can only give the feature 2 stars.

The Park (DVD) – So a post-apocalyptic film that starts off like a horror movie but becomes something entirely different. We get a quick opening of all human adults dying of a mysterious virus and it’s figured out before all adults die if you are not puberty age you survive for now? You have a time limit and its coming quickly. Inez and Billy are two kids right on the edge of puberty that is surviving in the new harsh world by killing whoever is in the way and taking their stuff. Along the way they meet Kuan who has taken over an amusement park and has her own theories on life and has heard the stories of the “Blue Meanies” or mutated teenagers but believe it is bullshit. Again it starts off as a mean-spirited horror flick but turns into a young girl on a journey to find her real purpose in life. Or at least that is how I take this very different post-apocalyptic film that isn’t exactly what you see in the trailers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires (DVD) – A Claymation horror/action/comedy about the world’s best cop who is every action movie star wrapped into one character. He fights ninjas, drug dealers, having partners die horribly, and punching his captain in the nuts constantly. But something evil has come to town and Chuck Steel must stop it and its Trampires or vampire hobos! These vamps are only attracted to drunken people all because Dracula was driven out of his castle because he was a weirdo and forced to live in alley ways drinking constantly. So now in order to kill a trampire it is a stake to the liver not the heart.  But there is a legend about a master coming and they are going to make the all world drunk so it becomes a feeding ground for the Trampires. The only hope is Chuck Steel get over his wife leaving him for a circus clown so he can stop it all before midnight. It is completely ridiculous and awesome as I give this fun flick 3 ½ stars.

Sisu (On Demand) – Its 1944 Finland and this is a bad ass account of a man that had enough of the war and left to mine for gold. After a big discovery he begins a long trek across Finland to cash in his discovery but a platoon of Nazis that he passes have a whole other mindset and begin to track the man after a few of the Nazi soldiers meet a horrible death. From there this platoon tracks down this man even when they are given orders to turn back and should “consider themselves lucky they are still alive” as they have found who this mysterious man is? One man just wants to cash in his discovery and a group of Nazis make the horrible decision of fucking with the wrong man. We have seen movies like this but maybe not in a WWII setting on foreign soil that seems to give this film that much more heart as I give the movie 4 stars.

Death Toilet (DVD) – Set in the 70s… sort of where a Vietnam vet comes home to his brother’s place to face off with a satanic toilet that mostly just laughs at him. Yeah, it is cheesy, yeah it is super terrible, but you know I can’t resist watching it especially knowing there is four sequels with an Amityville sequel just hitting DVD land. If anything if not the theme song “Death Toilet” then the priest that is brought in to perform an exorcism on the toilet and makes me wonder is there where the $500 budget was spent? Anyhow kids, thank me later for pointing this Indy film out to you as I give it 2 stars.

Death Toilet: Number Two (DVD) – Filmmaker Evan Jacobs goes at it again with moving the story forward to 1983 where Brett has survived the death toilet but must fight it again as he travels the world. Pretty much if you watched the first film you have seen the second… As I explained this movie to a certain someone their reaction was “so it is Silent Night Deadly Night 2… for death toilets?” Exactly, as I give this sequel 2 stars.

Evil Altar (DVD-R) – A lost 1988 film starring William Smith an odd satanic dude trying to take over a small town but needs 103 souls to sacrifice in order to accomplish this. Robert Z’Dar plays the small town sheriff who helps Smith get victims or clean up the mess. But hey it is a small town and it doesn’t take long for a few random people getting together and figuring out that neither of these bad ass dudes can be trusted and they must stop this evil. This a cheap but fun horror film for the time that is worth tracking down as I know I never heard of it until recently so if you are an 80s horror fan start looking as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

We continue to unload a butt load of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcasts

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This week we unlock the basement and see what kind of flicks we can unearth as Kyle spring cleans the podcast to unleash a “lost” episode.  The first flick to rear it’s ugly head is DOCTOR DEATH: SEEKER OF SOULS, and Moe Howard shows up in this.  Next it’s an old staple from the horror section of the video store called EVIL LAUGH. And finally a weirdo part murder mystery part Eye-talian Giallo part spider fetus flick called SPIDER LABYRINTH.  And of course we run down what we have been watching, the newest news, and answer your listener questions.  So download this episode or Moe will eye poke you.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

As we continue to spring clean our podcast we found another “lost” episode hiding under the fridge. On this show we talk about 3 more flicks.  The first being the movie PREDATOR may or may have not ripped off in WITHOUT WARNING starring Jack Palance and crazy ass Martin Landau. Next we have BLOOD THIRST a made in the 60’s but released in the 70’s chiller starring John’s number 1 dude Vic Diaz.  And finally old folks do some comedic killing to save their crumbling apartment killing in HOMEBODIES.  All this and the regular stuff wait.  So download this episode so Vic Diaz can continue to barbecue some fine naked ladies.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

As the spring cleaning continues we roll up the dusty rug in podcast studio A to find yet another “lost” episode.  On this one Kyle talks about the new stranger danger flick starring our guy Ethan Hawke in THE BLACK PHONE.  And then we talk about a movie that only tim gross could have found in the backrooms of YouTube called MY LOVELY BURTN BROTHER AND HIS SQUISHED BRAIN. And finally we have that movie your mother warned about taking candy from in CURSE OF THE QUEERWOLF.  And like any other episode we rundown the news and what we have been watching along with listener questions. So download this episode or else Tim Gross might make us watch another weird movie with an 8 word title… and no one wants that.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

As the spring cleaning continues we found another “lost” episode in that junk drawer that everyone seems to have in their house.  This time we have a true Asian oddity that has eluded us all but we have always wanted to check it out in EVIL DEAD TRAP.  Then we have the most metal zombies of all god damn time in their original outing in the franchise in TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD. And finally since we have made it this deep in our run of shows Kyle finally feels like it’s time to cover a movie that almost every podcast ends up covering in TOBE HOOPER’S LIFEFORCE.  And just like every week we have the news, listener questions, and the run down of what everyone watched this week.  So download this episode or the blind dead will forever cease to fuck shit up in the pit!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/