Gross Movie Reviews #665

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Aqua Beast (YouTube) – A non-descript Colorado family heads out to the old camping ground for Grandma to relive some fun memories as a kid. Well it doesn’t take long for Grandma to get eaten by a shark in a waterway! Even though the so-called teenagers are not too broken up about it they combine forces with the old crusty dude at the bait shop to go hunting for sharks. Along the way one picks up a girlfriend, one loses a boyfriend, and somehow crappy NES graphic shark gets thrown into a woodchipper by a large firework. I laughed at this movie for all the wrong reasons as the acting was monotone the entire length of the film as I wasn’t expecting much but I still cannot give it more than 1 star.

Amityville A.I. (Tubi) – As usual yinz all can thank me later as this is entry #65 into the longest running movie series of al time! Filmmaker Matt Jaissle of course goes back to the well again of Amityville 1979 where something terrible happens with a serial killer. Now present day, Stuart rents a house in Amityville who also just happened to bring his program “Vic 3000” and connect it the rental home. Once security cameras are installed the program has control of the home just like that 1981 TV movie ‘This House Possessed’. Between the weird ghost of the murderer in the house and the program taking over anything around Stuart he is trapped by his own creation and rental home. You can take your pick of what the actual plot of this film is… but outside of the scene with the neighbor’s hilarious sexbot killing him this feels like a mess that was thrown out there to say “I did it first”? I thank you for giving me another entry to watch but let’s be honest there is so much more you could have done on the slim budget you may have had as give it 0 stars.

Popeye’s Revenge (Amazon) – The Brits are at it again in making horror films out of cartoons as this time around they tackle the thick armed sailor who eats spinach. Honestly they keep it basic which looks to be best way to tackle this forgotten character as they made Popeye an urban legend that is a mash up of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger. Fifth-teen years ago after Popeye as a child accidentally killed a fellow child, his parents threw him in the basement but the villagers came anyhow to burn their family home down. Popeye survives but badly burned only to dive into the lake. Now every time a fog rolls in the legend of Popeye arrives to kill any who are nearby. So hey, by all means let’s turn Popeye’s old home into a campground where Popeye can slaughter all who show up at the summer camp before it ever opens. Overall I believe they went just to make a fun gory slasher throwback and they have accomplished their task. Wouldn’t think a Popeye film would be entertaining but there is just something about a burned up pipe smoking dude running out of the woods to squish people’s eyeballs out of their head as I give this 2 ½ stars.

The Special (DVD) – This little film has a little sleaze, a little sex, and WTF is that? Jerry is a regular guy who believes his beautiful wife has been cheating on him. So after a heavy night of drinking his best friend takes Jerry to a secret location aka brothel that happens to have a psychic. Sixty bucks and Jerry is off to upstairs to get “The Special”, an empty room that he is locked in with a box that reads “Stick it in Here”! Jerry believes it is a joke until sometime goes past and eventually puts his dong into the box. BREAKING NEWS… Jerry has the greatest time ever to the point his best friend gotta zip up his pants and get Ivan to throw him into the car. But there is a catch the psychic or Madame warns the best friend be sure Jerry never comes back because the “box” wants him? This only begins a downward spiral for Jerry as he finds out his hot wife (Sarah French) didn’t cheat but was buying a snow blower. For Jerry nothing matters as he is now obsessed to find this box as he would kill to have it as he does and develops a relationship (or let’s just say it he keeps fucking a box) with the thing in the box. An interesting and entertaining ride into a character’s downward spiral of nothing matters except the pleasure he gets from a mysterious box as I give this feature 3 stars.

Don’t Mess with Grandma (Tubi) – This Tubi original is one of my first favs of 2025 as it stars Michael Jai White as Jasper and Billy Zane. The plot of the film besides Jasper throwing white people out a window the whole movie is Jasper taking care of his Grandma who lives in the middle of nowhere. Jasper everyday drives two hours to go take care of anything she needs while getting drunk doing it while running from Grandma’s dog who doesn’t like him. Well tonight things go a little sideways as three people show up in pig masks to burglarize Grandma’s house. Not going to happen in this laugh a minute film as Jasper defends the home quickly but soon sees there is friends or family in this case who have planned this job for a while as they won’t go away quietly. Basic but entertaining premise this 4 out of 4 stars film is “home invasion gone wrong” that includes Jasper singing a DIO song while a man dies in his arms, a person getting paper towels duct taped to their ass because they are missing part of an ass cheek, and how Jasper just wants Grandma to consider moving into the city. Again folks 4 stars all the way as it will be hard for any of yinz to not find this extremely entertaining and laugh the whole 80 minutes as I did.

Streets of Vengeance (Blu-ray) – Mila is a pornstar who is at the height of her career, well liked, and she is at the end of her contract as she wants out so she can do something fresh. But little she knows she is a target by a cult called “The Sword” that wants to make an example of her. They believe her smut career is ruining society and she must be stopped. Mila is not expecting anything terrible even though the ‘San Francisco slasher’ has claimed two of her friends. After her retirement party Mia is kidnapped but escapes the brutality of the cult with a little help as she kills her captor. Mia receives a phone call on a phone she forgot she grabbed from her kidnapper and decides it is time to fight back. Mia recruits her fellow sex workers as this turns into a glorious version of ‘Savage Streets 2’! Way too much filler at the beginning to establish Mia and friends are in the porn industry but the film more than makes up for it once Mia is out for one night of revenge in this sleazy action thriller that I give 3 stars too.

Paranoia Tapes: The Movie (4K) – Full disclosure I am not a huge fan of some of the early entries that I have seen but I will give Jack Hunter and crew credit this has a different charm and finish to it that definitely made it an entertaining Indy feature. We begin with a couple of podcasters discussing an oddity of spookiness that has affected certain people and streams over the years this quickly connects to a DIY You Tuber named Clyde. Clyde is constantly filming himself for his vlogs that have become popular and today he has received a mystery package at his door. The box contains movies that also just happen to have Clyde’s picture on the back of the box along with his best friend Jack throughout the films dying, killing etc. Clyde concerned recruits his friend Jack to come to the house to witness the weirdness of it all and discuss doppelgangers as we the viewer get to see the short films of other vloggers plotting murders and other nefarious acts. Again I enjoyed the simple fact that this crew went to great lengths in storytelling to give you a scare with substance. Yes there are flaws, but overall I believe they accomplish in telling an entertaining spooky story in the context of folks constantly using their phones and the consequences that could follow? For that I give this a solid Indy outing 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #664

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Werewolves (On Demand) – Frank Grillo as Wesley, Katrina Law, and Lou Diamond Phillips are scientists who are working on a cure for humans as a year ago during a super moon anyone exposed to it turned into a werewolf causing chaos. After his brother’s death last year as he was part of the first responders dying trying to control the population the year before, Wesley has taken up taking care of his brother’s family. The experiment to control the wolfing out problem with their “moon screen” starts out promising but after 60 minutes people begin to change as the werewolves are hard to control. With the experiment gone to shit in the lab Wesley must return home to help his dead brother’s family as he gets a distress call. The film is solid but has its flaws (not quite understanding the throw away characters) but think it is a 80s B-movie post-apocalyptic plot meets ‘The Purge’ with werewolves. Sounds interesting, Frank Grillo is great, some cool werewolf shit, but also I feel like this movie is a much bigger mess than we all know as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

Mouse of Horrors (Tubi) – Indeed there is another terrible film loosely based on that Disney mouse character. By the way be warned I have already seen another film slated to be released soon? Anyway a killer mouse mutation stalks its victims at an amusement park to use their body parts for something even more sinister. The killer mouse takes the body parts back to an old crusty dude who supposedly has plans! By the way Winnie the Pooh shows up to pal around a bit for no reason as this movie from the UK just drags ass as the plot seems to be to set up the next kill for the killer mouse. Which isn’t that god damn interesting kids? All in all this entire movie felt like a fan-made feature with no real direction as I give it a fat zero stars.

Rats: Night of Terror (4K Ultra HD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer horror fans if there was ever a movie that deserved me saying, “You can only shine up a turd so much” it is this project as I cannot believe my eyes what Severin Films did with this package! Now don’t get me wrong I absolutely love this cheesy turd of a post-apocalyptic greatness as the quote on the slipcover has proved me correct: “A movie you can tell people about and they’ll say, ‘That’s not a real movie’ but it is. It totally is.” (From Drive-in Asylum) I have talked about this movie for years after I first seen a bootleg in the late 90s that led me buying that early DVD release in the 2000s as that was something that was said to me constantly. Anyway, for those who never had the pleasure the story takes place in 225 A.B. (After the Bomb) where people have lived underground for so long and now a group of unruly individuals want to live above ground where they find an abandoned city. The group enters a building where it looks like humans were sustaining themselves but left suddenly. The group investigates quickly and believes they are saved by this wonderful find. But it doesn’t take long for them to find horribly disfigured bodies and killer rats that seem to have the taste for fresh humans. Within one night the rats attack like a zombie horde forcing the group to survive the oncoming slaughter. It fun, its gory, its Eye-talian of course I love it but this 4K restoration is just beautiful because I never thought in a million years this gritty old looking film could ever be cleaned up? But that is only the tip of the iceberg here horror fans as this 3-disc set has commentaries, a wonderful documentary with the cast talking about Bruno Mattei, several other interesting interviews with cast members talking about their experience on the film, the film’s soundtrack among so much more fun stuff for post-apocalyptic nerds as myself. This package gets 4 stars as I never thought I would be saying “I needed Rats: Night of Terror on 4K”.

Texas Chainsaw Mascara (Blu-ray) – Just another film project from the legendary or infamous Indy filmmaker Bill Zebub. A few out of state horror enthusiasts have traveled to the great state of Texas for some sightseeing. Car breaks down; they argue among them until a lovely local named Heather comes along to offer help. She leads them to her home of the weird to meet her family where quickly the opposing groups don’t get along. After a few words the family gets pissed then proceeds to tie the outsiders up for torture, maybe some bad sex choices and eventually cannibalism of course. By some chance you have never watched a Bill Zebub film his projects are not something you will be comfortable watching as I believe that is always his end goal? Now saying that and have reviewed some of his work in the past I have to say this project just lacks from beginning to end as the cast looked disinterested in their roles as I can only give this film 1 out of 4 stars.

Slaughter Day (Blu-ray) – This is a wonderful Indy SOV gem that got unearthed recently from 1991and was given the special treatment. A couple of young dudes head to a cabin on a Saturday that they are in the process of fixing up only to be met by a violent young man. This is where the film just goes and never stops as you can easily see this was inspired by the ‘Evil Dead’ films with fight scenes, chase scenes (including a homemade car stunt), over the top gags, gore, fun time all around. In the end the duo must faceoff with the Necronomicon at the construction site to end the gory evil chaos. SOV fans are going to enjoy this delightful treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars as maybe its only flaw is the music to the film?

The Downfall of Mr. Difford (DVD) – A 2015 feature written, directed, and stars Matt Jefferson along with a great Indy cast. Thomas Difford or as he likes to be called Mr. Difford, is accused of being a murderer that has been dragged into the police station to be questioned by detectives. But Mr. Difford has the detectives where he wants them as he wants to tell them his stories or conquests of his experiments of seeing blood flow. Mr. Difford doesn’t claim to be insane just misunderstood as Difford has work to do in collecting samples for his work. His stories drive the detectives to the verge of committing a criminal act as if it was part of Mr. Difford’s all along?  Enjoyed the no budget serial killer feel of storytelling but the ending wasn’t what I was exactly thirsting for as if Mr. Jefferson was unsure in how to end his 2015 feature. Indy folks start tracking this delicious gem down as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Wolfman (On Demand) – Universal Studios heads back to reimaging their classics as my fear was they would just tell another origin story of “The Wolf Man” and I was happily wrong to say. The backstory of the film is set in rural mountains of Oregon, 1995, where a hiker has disappeared in the woods. The few people that live there believe he maybe “the face of the wolf” that has been an urban legend in those parts. Blake remembering this as a kid remembers his father being very fierce about this being real. Now thirty years later Blake and his family are heading back to the old farm to collect his father’s things as Blake’s father has been declared dead. After an accident has the moving truck stuck in a tree Blake is attacked by a creature while getting his family to safety. The family makes it the old farm house hoping to stay put for the night so at daybreak they can find help but this unknown creature stalks the farm house looking for a way in. Meanwhile, inside Blake begins to slowly transform into something animal-like scaring his family as they may have to fight Blake and the animal thing outside to escape. I liked the movie but didn’t love it but the one thing I wanted them to do they did as they gave me a different story to digest than the usual remake garbage. I enjoyed this for more of its non-traditional take on famous character as the film directs most of its attention on family not the creature oddly enough for that I give it a respectful 3 stars.    

Trick or Treat (4K Ultra HD) – This special treatment of such a cultish 80s horror film has been something horror movie fans have waited a long time for. Red Shirt Pictures and Synapse Films teamed up to bring their masterpiece of an extras filled special edition version of Trick or Treat movie to 4K.  It is all wonderful but before we get into that lets go over the film itself for some horror fans that haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying. The plot involves a teenager played by Marc Price named Eddie who is an outcast at high school for being a metalhead. If not fighting with the school bully and his friends isn’t enough his favorite metal singer Sammi Curr has just died in a fire that just angers Eddie to no end. In pops a DJ played by none other Gene Simmons, who gives Eddie a record of Sammi Curr’s which has never been heard. Eddie takes it home and of course plays it backwards as Sammi begins to talk to Eddie. Sammi Curr has found a way to come back to life thanks to Eddie to get back at Eddie’s bullies. But has it gone too far and can Eddie stop the undead rocker from killing everyone in town? Great music, great story, and yes an appearance by Ozzy Osborne as an evangelist on TV against metal music doesn’t hurt either made this one those “perfect horror movies” for the time it was released. Now this 4K release has everything fans could imagine that includes: three commentaries, an absolutely informative 81 minute documentary about the making of the film that includes an interview with Gene Simmons and how Hollywood came to Wilmington, North Carolina, (Michael Felsher’s thoughts as a 13 year old when this film was released were spot on) all the old trailers, an episode of Hallowed Horror Grounds of visiting the set locations, After Midnight music video starring Tony Fields as Sammi Curr, and a segment called ‘Tribute to Tony Fields’ which may bring a tear to your eye as they interview Tony’s family after all these years and discuss his death. Also what really pops about this transfer is the restoration of the film is just perfect: not too bright, but colorful if that makes sense. Folks, Synapse and Michael Felsher have done a superb job of finally bringing this piece of entertaining horror history to physical media as I give it 4 out of 4 stars all the way. The 4k version is up for sale at www.synapsefilms.com .

Night Wolf (YouTube) – This 2010 UK film had its title changed from ‘13 hrs.’ to ‘Night Wolf’ most likely to be an easier sell to horror movie fans? But anyway Sarah was working in the U.S. for several months but has come back home to her small village to hang with family and friends for a small vacation. The group once together heads inside their old house only to find a bloody surprise of their father torn to shreds in bed and an animal that will stop at nothing to slaughter the group. The group finds a hiding spot in the attic and behind the walls of the old house so they can try to survive the animal’s terror during the stormy night. The subplot of the film is all about family and there is an excellent scene involving a character and a self-inflicted shotgun blast! A solid creature feature that I give 2 ½ stars too.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #663

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The Stench (YouTube) – Look out as super talented Indy filmmaker Jim Roberts is at it again with his short film that begins with a fallen tree and Tony in a bad need of money. Sam had an old tree fall down in the backyard with some horrible green mist bellowing out of it! As Tony gets started on the nasty tree the situation devolves very quickly into madness. Something evil was disturbed in the tree and we all get lots of disgusting beautiful violence as I give the project 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Creature Z (YouTube) – A team of mercs is dropped in hostile territory to rescue a scientist at a secret cold war bunker. Of course their goal is to get in and get out undetected. We all know in movies and life nothing is ever easy as the mercs get into a fire fight with a militia group who were unaware of the entrance for the bunker. Both parties find it to enter and quickly find out the hard way the dummies there melted a creature out of its frozen prison as they used the bunker to experiment on it. Their goal was genetic hybrids which humans will not survive the aftermath. Sounds good when explaining it but when cool stuff like the ‘Outpost’ films exist it is a tough task to measure up as from frame one of this movie it had good intentions but never seen through on them as I can only give this film 2 stars.

Moonsoil: Gruesome Tales of Michele and the Modern Witch (YouTube) – Weird Indy stuff with weird music where removing a cross from a shed in the middle of the woods releases a witch or its coven or something to that effect. After a kid drinks the drinking water and cuts off his own foot more weird shit happens with a presence stalking several random people. The film has some great locations but leans a little too much into the absurd to be polite to enjoy what they may have been going for as I can only give the project 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Satan’s Parasite (YouTube) – So this Indy project is set up by some video stuff of the filmmaker’s vacation after COVID (most likely). These teenagers come back from vacation not feeling well which leads into weird stuff of a priestess and a parasite. I did learn something through this film: apparently if you get a pregnancy test in the mail you need to cut your hand open to see if you test positive for parasites? If mealworms swim all over the test then you sends it back to the hospital. This also made me curious about the procedure of the USPS and their care of blood soaked packages now that you are able to send your poop places? Anyway did I mention someone is trying to scoop out another’s eyeball with an ice cream scooper…? Way too much going on here without anything really going on as I give this independent feature 1 out of 4 stars.

Cagey (DVD) – If you are looking for no budget, off the wall, has that lost 90s SOV feel then David Bachmeier (wrote, direct, and edits) has a new treat for yinz. Emily is a young woman who just got fired from her pizza delivery job and needs to make the rent soon. Desperation makes Emily take a leap of taking a housesitting gig for the weekend. Mark who hires Emily doesn’t let her in on the secret he has hidden there because he is trying to protect family. Along the way of this feature there are some possible (fake future?) movie trailers that oddly help the story to pace out well. Without saying too much about the plot some Indy fans will see this project as tasteless or even disturbing but most I believe will respect what they have witnessed. For me, this feature doesn’t feel forced, comes along organically, allowed me to relish the plot and also never trust a person in a pigeon mask as I got to give this movie 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Killer Werewolf (YouTube) – A lower budgeted UK flick about a zombie film being filmed in a small village. Things are going horribly because the lead actor is an ass while something is slaughtering the locals in the woods near the movie shoot. As detectives are baffled that these killings could be done by an animal the lead actor is eventually blamed for being a serial killer or is he? The movie spent way too much time on trying to be funny which it wasn’t as they did little for the werewolf reveal which once it happens will make you question why they attempted the project in the first place. Yinz are not missing much here as I can only give it 1 star at best.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Sneak peek into who will be vending at Grossfest 2025!

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Thought we would give yinz an inside look of someone who is joining Grossfest 2025 to be a part of our little convention to network, sell movies, and much more. This person might be the busiest individual we have ever had at our convention as they have worked behind the scenes on hundreds of projects! So many to list that the only other list that might be longer is Danny Trejo or Santa Claus… as it goes on forever (but we will supply yinz with a link to check it out). But more recently this person has spread their wings into directing, writing, and even a poetry book. This wonderful talent is not just a great addition for us but this person is just as excited to be a part of something different they have been hearing good things about and knew they had to be there to be a part of it. They have worked on: One-Eyed Monster, The Dog Who Saved Halloween, The Contractor, The Monster Project, Grandma’s Cookies, and Dark Lullabies. With great excitement we like to introduce yinz to a kind and personable soul who loves Indy cinema like all of us… Michael Coulombe!

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2525575/?ref_=nmbio_ov

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for vendor application and how to pay.