Gross Movie Reviews #700

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Nightmares Unleashed (DVD) – The newest project to come out of MMH Productions where this kind sir goes out of their comfort zone to bring something I would perhaps call “Fantasy horror”. A young woman has just gotten a new VHS tape called ‘Cult of the Scarecrow’ and quickly finds herself sucked into the movie by an evil jester called, “Joseph the Clown”. At first being a huge horror fan the young woman believes it is just wild to be standing near the cult members and be in the movie but then it all becomes too real as the cult members want a virgin! She is saved for now by a young man Matthew who has been looking for his sister. Together Raven and Matthew must cross several movies to fight off witches, zombies, tree monsters, a demented scientist, vampires, a summer camp killer, and a fun house to escape Joseph as he has created in this movie world a prison for him to play with people who watch these obscure horror films. Raven and Matthew’s goal becomes saving the kids to defeat Joseph but that only sounds good in theory. The project dares to be totally different, has a ‘Funnyman’ kind of vibe to it, and the Joseph the clown character keeps the film creepy yet alluring at the same time and for that I gotta give this interesting piece of cinema 3 out of 4 stars.    

Deathboard (DVD) – This 2020 Brad Twigg horror film may have gotten overlooked as a lot of projects did during that year revolves around a young woman buying a beautiful house cheap. Once a group of friends come over to help celebrate she lets them in on how she got it so cheap and couldn’t pass it up. As she explains the house used to be the home of a brutal psycho four years ago but has since passed. Of course Val and friends go investigate the basement that even when buying no one looked at? But they find an Ouija board and kiddingly try to conjure the spirit of the brutal killer of Psycho Cyrus. After a scene of pizza eating, dealing with sexual harassment pizza guy, too much drinking, too much sharing about their sexual encounters, we get to the good stuff as the killer wastes no time slaughtering their way through the friends. But wait there is more… what comes with this cool little project is not just the great ‘Slumber Party Massacre’ and ‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-O-Rama’ vibes but a cool ending that ties some things together as I gotta give this little known Indie feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Creep Footage 3: ‘Night Nurse (DVD) – Didn’t even see the first two films, hell didn’t know they existed but when did that ever stop me from watching sequels out of order? Anyway, this 23 minute short that is done like a cool History channel-style documentary of sorts about a character ‘Nurse Candy’. This said Nurse Candy who interacts with a dangerous patient ‘Apple’ in asylum is the direct cause of an evil event Halloween 1988. The person Apple was already a danger but the actions of Nurse Candy led this Apple character to an evil night of bloodshed. Documentary, found footage stuff I will leave it to you what you think but great people involved with the short and glad a great young actor pointed it out to me as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Priest: Thanksgiving Massacre (Tubi) – You know me kids if I am not tracking down Amityville flicks I gotta keep that ‘massacre’ list going as many years ago a priest commits a terrible sin then doubles down on it by committing suicide. Now present day a family is spending an awkward holiday at a secluded cabin in the woods together. We learn because of dad’s porn star girlfriend using the steam room too much it awakens the undead priest from under the floor boards of said cabin. They all believe it is the son trying to be creepy and watch his sister undress in the crawlspace even though he finds the journal of the undead priest. But it is all set into motion as this undead bastard can smell sin in the air! Once after the journal is found and looks like this film is going to be a lot of awkward fun it comes to a screeching crawl of waiting for this undead bastard to kill them all which of course doesn’t happen. People yinz had something here and yinz let go to waste as this was barely a massacre so I can only give it 1 star.

Amityville Aliens (DVD) – So entry #77 has come into our lives as a 75 minute project that is a project that featuring shorts put together in a way that connects to Amityville? The film begins with legendary Donald Farmer intro that leads into the films we are about to watch were confiscated from a Black Ops shelter in New Mexico about alien encounters in Amityville, New York. The first short takes us into a post-apocalyptic war between aliens and residents of Amityville. The second short film is Martian Girl Massacre which is a delightfully gooey mess about a young woman being possessed by a giant pink alien in the backyard that causes her to slaughter friends in return her prize is being slaughtered horribly by the alien. Third short film is a black and white throwback where Galactic Samurai Schoolgirls visiting Amityville to gather men but instead find some mobster underlings. The fourth short film takes place in 1928 Amityville where an older woman and her shotgun have an encounter with a stop motion werewolf in armor. Oh by the way nevermind the Miller High Life box you’ll see in the cupboard at the beginning, remember its 1928… The fifth short comes off as an old paranormal public access show tackling aliens in Amityville and they reveal the main cause of the horror in Amityville is the space fungus in the soil? This entry is quite entertaining, hell hilarious at times but two things here: first I would have arranged these shorts very differently because I would have ended the project with the post-apocalyptic short instead of opening the film with it. This just throws off the vibe of watching these “so-called” confiscated films plus I felt that project was a terrible lead into Martian Girl Massacre which is a fun watch on its own. Second the two highlights that will have Amityville fans clamoring for more are the Martian Girl Massacre and Galactic Samurai Schoolgirls. These two projects are the most polished but most importantly felt like they were the most versatile as they could be put out there in the world on their own but at the same time they fit perfectly into an Amityville space anthology. I would go as far as maybe these two projects overshadow the others but hey I just review these things as I give entry #77 into the series 2 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S. you can always send me your Amityville arguments or comments.

Bionic Ninja (YouTube) – Well apparently someone was bored again on social media as they declared “this movie is the worst of all time”. Of course you now have my attention just because of the title but I hate when people do this because I hate to say it “you are usually wrong”. It’s just an opinion kids. This 1986 film has a secret tech film stolen in Hong Kong that has the KGB and CIA fighting over possession of it. Sadly there aren’t any cyborg ninjas but there is a bunch of non-stealthy ninjas employed by the KGB who want the film. Beginning to end it is filled with ninjas, fights, car stunts, and even the Miami Vice theme song?! Even though the whole film is based on which world power will get this secret it feels like this film was all about random ninjas being non-stealthy unlike some of the other early 80s ninja films that are classics. Sorry kids go back to social media claim some other bullshit because this movie was far from being the worst as I found it quite entertaining at times as I give it at least 2 stars. Also have yinz ever watched Hereditary? Now there is at least an argument to throw out there on your Google machines…

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #694

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Transylvania Tapes (DVD) – Latest project from the talented independent soul Brad Sykes takes us to Bucharest! A dramatic horror found footage/documentary mash up that follows a young woman Mara was born in Romania but moved to L.A. when she was very young. After a family member died in the past year she found tapes of what her mother made in 1997 looking for a possible family property but disappeared mysteriously. Mara travels across the world to make a documentary about her following in her mother’s footsteps to also hopefully find some answers. Mara’s mother was an actress and in theater during the 80s and was very popular in the area as she uses this to help track down some old peers of her mother’s to interview. As Mara gets deep with some of these interviews a curse is mentioned several times which of course Mara refuses to listen to warnings about looking for her mother. The film is quite intriguing and beautiful as this somewhat found footage film comes off genuine compared to many from the past. What also helps this project along is the actor that plays Mara; Valeria Badiuc absolutely has a natural charm that lures you in to be interested in her journey. Now I was a little upset Charles Band or his castle were not in the film and the film runs a little long for me at 109 minutes but Ms. Badiuc’s performance and Mr. Sykes using the beautiful landscape and buildings as a character itself lends this to be a must watch independent film in 2026! I give this light mash up 3 out of 4 stars.

Coven of the Black Cube (Blu-ray) – There was all kinds of cool people from the independent genre that show up in this old school no budget vibe kind of flick. The film revolves a young woman questioning her relationship as she meets the head of a coven named Clover who legit seems to have real concern for the young woman VI. Clover actually sees potential in VI in allowing her into her witchy life for better understanding of what can be better than what she has become accustomed too. The only thing VI doesn’t know is Clover takes great pleasure in helping women kill their husbands/boyfriends with a potion she has come up with. The story at its core is all about Clover being a serial killer with this witchery stuff as the background that is mixed into a very perverse love story that wasn’t meant to be as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Oath (DVD) – A Troma release from 2011 that has friends who tell a story about an urban legend then go looking for it to see if it is at all true? The slim backstory is that a deranged child lives in the woods looking for victims that come to this cabin. Of course said group of friends find the cabin and slowly they are slaughtered by this hulking deranged killer. Not a ton to this bare bones slasher film but also might be why not many of seek it out for a watch as I can only give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Zombies of the Third Reich (Tubi) – It is war time and the Nazis are under extreme pressure by their relentless leader to create super soldiers in some unknown French bunker! Problem is the bunker has gone quiet recently as the Allies were keeping tabs and fear the worst as they send in a recon/rescue team to get one of their own out. The special team gets in quickly but soon understands getting in was never the problem as getting out will be as the Nazi experiment cannot get out in the real world. Believe me you read about this film and will wanna see it and hope it’s even a fraction of ‘Dead Snow’ or ‘Outpost’ but it doesn’t even come close. The film from the beginning fails from poor execution or just plain laziness of getting this project together. Not so much of the characters but everything around them. If you watch you’ll understand and want to forget it as quickly as you chose to watch it as I give it a ½ star.

Island Escape (Tubi) – A team of mercenaries is dropped onto a mysterious island to rescue a scientist where an unknown experiment has been going on for decades. Once the team arrives they immediately find some mysterious but monstrous foes that seem hell bent on attacking the team. In a short span of time the team figures out they have been dropped into an insane wormhole experiment that resets the island every three days and they cannot escape the ongoing experiment. As time quickly goes by the team understands there is multiple versions of them on the island and it’s endless. I enjoyed the concept of this film but it gets a little murky in the middle as it seems to have a tough time of how they wanted to resolve this wormhole issue they were in but still give it 2 stars for being interesting.  

The Creeps (Amazon) – So some old creepy Russian guy opens a portal to a dimension where demons float out to infest snowmen at Finnish ski resort! Sounds corny, sounds like you have seen this ten times before but I advise you have not kids. Now enters our main character Zach who is 17 at said ski resort with a friend (raises way too many questions but that is for a whole other conversation that you will have to ignore that plot point to enjoy this film) who has a love for the 80s nostalgia. The movie wastes no time as the creatures attack a party that Zach and friends attend as Zach hides in an outhouse/porta potty to talk to his Grandpa Joe Dante! Once Zach comes out of hiding the movie shifts into high gear of chaos, blood, and Christopher Lambert with Highlander references that will simply blow your mind in this most entertaining piece of cinema! Kids this project is 4 stars all the way so yinz need to seek it out immediately as Christopher lets us know one more time, “there can only be one”.

Final Caller (Blu-ray) – I still stand by this review but it was time to go check out the Blu-ray version of this film as I feel this is one of the more under the radar projects of Mr. Sheets’ career. The Blu-ray comes with a great BTS segment of Todd just being down to earth and explaining what was going on in his life while this project was going on, there is a commentary of course, and a short film ‘The Request’. Also too it just felt like Todd was trying something out of his comfort zone… : Todd Sheets fresh off the killer ‘Bonehill Road’ and the over the top ‘Clownado’ is back with an ultra-low budget film that involves a shock jock and his show “On Through the Night” where he tells strange stories and takes calls. For Roland the shock jock tonight seems like any other night of doing his show where he is yelling into the mic putting down his fans and spewing conspiracies. But his soon to be ex-wife shows up with the divorce papers and a caller called “The Outsider” who is going to fulfill some kind of ancient ritual by brutally murdering young women. The caller claims it is up to Roland to stop him from being a serial killer but of course Roland takes this as some kind rubbish and hangs up. This begins a hellish downward spiral for the show and all involved as “The Outsider” keeps calling back to yell back at Roland and explain how he devours his victims as he kills them and will visit Roland to complete the ritual. Roland now finds himself in world of crazy shit as he is trying to escape his own radio show and not become part of the bloody body count of “The Outsider”. This is a straight forward gore and even more extreme gore Todd Sheets project that will have his fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Saurians 2 (Tubi) – Mark Polonia’s son Anthony takes over the reins for the sequel 30 years later to tell the story of a dinosaur or two rising from a mountain in Fossil Valley. It seems the dinosaurs have awaken again and this time around a duo called “Crypto Duo” are not just in the area to interview survivor Alan about his ordeal but to also investigate the new occurrences. There is a lot of filler to this short feature but eventually the duo finds themselves transported into a long lost world debating what should be done with the dinosaurs. If I am being completely honest here this feels like something Mark and Anthony were paid straight up to put out there for content more than giving a strong sequel? It feels like pieces of stock footage from other projects strung together with maybe a few new scenes with the Alan character. It isn’t terrible, I just feel fans would have wanted more since it’s a sequel to a Polonia dinosaur project that fans may have forgotten as I can only give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Pickaxe (DVD) – Well this is a sloppy sex-filled monstrous slasher film that was entertaining as hell. It is 1988 and after a naked blood soaked sacrifice a crazed undead serial killer has returned from the grave to continue his carnage in Woodland Hills. Two people survived the first go around with Alex Black as now one is a cop (A. Michael Baldwin) and the second is drunken crazed person (Tiffany Shepis) that burned down an asylum a year after being committed. These two must answer the call as a group of supposed teenagers have traveled to a cabin near Woodland Hills for a drug induced drunken loud sex before heading to a concert. Alex Black the monstrous mess he is wastes no time hacking off heads and ripping out hearts because an evil amulet he wears. Yeah this blood soaked slasher has its flaws but the chemistry between Baldwin and Shepis’ characters as them not just being cameos help you oversee the flaws of this adventure. This picture also could have used a Matt Cannon for a better score. You may not enjoy the lackluster ending but again this was quite entertaining horror fans and yinz need to seek it out as I give it 3 stars.

One Million Babes BC (Tubi) – This Mark Polonia adventure made me laugh several times throughout the picture. Not sure that was the intention but I see it for what it was and just had fun watching two visitors discover a cave to tell the story that was written on the walls by the first people who could stand and have independent thought. These individuals read the drawings and tell the story of Luna and Ogg who are the superiors of a tribe who are at odds with each other. At some point Ogg feels threaten by Luna and feels she should be sacrificed to the volcano gods to help their tribe. Yes there is a dinosaur farting (oh yes I laughed my ass off), yes Tim Hatch makes a perfect caveman and Jamie Morgan is quite a bad ass, yes they are all wearing flip flops and loafers, but I feel if you watch this through the lens of those 50s and 60s B-movie types that had cave people you’ll find this entertaining and have a few laughs too as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

And yet another Grossfest 2026 guest announcement

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This young starlet had a weird several month period in 2025 that side tracked her life and career that caused a late minute cancelation for Grossfest last year. Now back on track of her complete domination of not just being a star in the independent genre but someone Indie fans will always remember as her drive and confidence in the amazing film work she does is remarkable. She continues to branch out in writing and directing as we hope Grossfest 2026 will be even bigger because of her presence we can only be talking about Morrigan Thompson-Milam!

Grossfest 2026 – July 31st-August 1st

Friday 4-10pm

Saturday 11-7pm

Tickets: $15 for one day or $20 for both days

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes (tables will go up to purchase soon)

Movie room schedule will come closer to event and of course we have a tattoo room

www.grossfest.com

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Rd, Pittsburgh, PA 15235

(412) 244-1600

Grossfest 2025 – August 1st & 2nd

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(We wanna thank ahead of time the great guests, the awesome vendors, and of course the people that will attend, thank yinz all for making this happen and supporting Independent horror)

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this group link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days at the door. (Yes we are lazy n’at)

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

(Complete Vendor list is coming and yes we are sold out)

(Movie list is coming along and will be posted July 4th weekend)

Yes, there will be a band “13 Occult” playing 7pm on back patio on Saturday after Grossfest 2025 closes! https://www.facebook.com/13occultMusic

Grossfest 2025 guest list:

The Mummy and The Monkey (Saturday only)

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Jamie Morgan

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Aleen Isley

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR GROSSFEST 2025 GUEST!

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Well fans we have another guest announcement and yinz can thank us at the show for this one. This person had busted out onto the Indy scene in 2018 with acting in a few short films but got their big break with the feature ‘The Curse of Lilith Ratchet’. Ever since then this person hasn’t looked back on becoming one of the hardest working actors in the Indy scene. Their talent, charm, and work ethic make them hard to miss on screen as their presence on film has made them one the hottest upcoming actors to have in an Indy project. You may know them from such titles: Debbie Does Demons, XXX-mas, Waspzilla, Killer Campout Part II, Crackcoon, Blood and Breakfast, with a host of other upcoming projects! But wait there is more as this wonderfully talented person is about to add writer/director to their list of credits with their own project ‘Martian Girl Massacre’ segment that will be a part of the ‘Amityville Aliens’ project (so of course massacre and Amityville made the Gross brothers ears perk up). We are proud to announce someone we know yinz are all gonna love having at Grossfest 2025… we like to introduce yinz to Morrigan Thompson-Milam! We enjoy this young lady’s passion and drive to conqueror the Indy genre in 2025 so please go check out her work sooner than later:

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm9454937/…

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for vendor application and how to pay.

Holy crap folks Grossfest 2025 just added another great guest!

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Morrigan Thompson-Milam

Well Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Grossfest fans because we have another guest announcement and yinz can thank us later for this one. This person had busted out onto the Indy scene in 2018 with acting in a few short films but got their big break with the feature ‘The Curse of Lilith Ratchet’. Ever since then this person hasn’t looked back on becoming one of the hardest working actors in the Indy scene. Their talent, charm, and work ethic make them hard to miss on screen as their presence on film has made them one the hottest upcoming actors to have in an Indy project. You may know them from such titles: Debbie Does Demons, XXX-mas, Waspzilla, Killer Campout Part II, Crackcoon, Blood and Breakfast, with a host of other upcoming projects! But wait there is more as this wonderfully talented person is about to add writer/director to their list of credits with their own project ‘Martian Girl Massacre’ segment that will be a part of the ‘Amityville Aliens’ project (so of course massacre and Amityville made the Gross brothers ears perk up). We are proud to announce someone we know yinz are all gonna love having at Grossfest 2025… we like to introduce yinz to Morrigan Thompson-Milam!

Okay Grossfest fans we got the date, the hotel, the guests, and we will have the vendors so mark your calendars! Here is the guest list:

The Mummy and The Monkey

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets: $10 for one day. $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

Contact us with questions or vendor application questions at grossfest@gmail.com

For show info: www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com .