Tag Archives: horror

Gross Movie Reviews #386

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Gross Movie Reviews #386

 

Almost Human (DVD) – The film is based on events that happened in a small town October 1987 and again two years later almost to the date in October. The movie opens with Seth trying to convince his best friend Mark that some weird stuff is following him. Mark goes outside to investigate and he disappears. For the next two years Seth is considered an outsider in the town. Even though he was cleared of all charges some folks still believe he killed his best friend. That is until Mark suddenly reappears two years later and is on a murder spree and going all ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ on people. Weird and interesting in a ‘Fire in the Sky’ kind of way. So if you like alien abduction cinema this is the movie for you as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Mechanic: Resurrection (Theater) – Jason Statham is back as the character Bishop who all believes is dead and he would like it to stay that way. Bishop figured out a way to be a ghost and out of the “mechanic” business altogether and living in Brazil. While at a restaurant Bishop is approached with an offer or to expose he is still alive. After some great fight scenes Bishop travels to an island that few know about and tries to figure what his next move is? Bishop gets mixed up with a girl (Jessica Alba) he is forced to kill three of the world’s biggest drug lords and make it look like an accident or she dies. A few twists, quite a few awesome stunts, and apparently Tommy Lee Jones finds a way for his 1990 ‘Under Siege’ role to live on only a little older this time and Gary Busey or Seagal. Mom Gross enjoyed it; I enjoyed it, Statham made another solid action flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Poolboy (DVD) – Another Saint James St. James project that has Kevin Sorbo in the lead role as the Poolboy who is trying to rid the Pool cleaning business of Mexicans. But Mexican mob leader Danny Trejo refuses to back down from Sorbo and fights back. We also get Jason Mewes and Courtney Gains in a couple funny small roles. According to Saint James St. James the project was filmed when he was 11 years old and was banned in 1990 for being racially insensitive? For those of you who don’t know this is the same filmmaker who has made ‘FDR: Badass’, ‘Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves’, and has ‘Boombox Bigfoot’ on the way. If that wasn’t enough to peak your interest this is as Kevin Sorbo’s character literally goes undercover as a clown with a van that states: “The only raping clown in town!” It has a few laughs but the real question is: “Does T-shirt Joe Garcia approve?” as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Return of the Living Dead II (DVD) – The 1988 sequel was highly awaited by horror fans but disappointed many as the sequel went in a different direction than the original. The sequel maybe or maybe not picks up after the events in Louisville, KY.? But this time around a canister falls off of a military truck into a sewage tunnel where three kids discover it. Two kids come back to it after locking the smaller kid into a crypt in the local cemetery. They break open the canister and a poisonous fog is released sending the kids coughing and running home and the fog eventually awakes the dead again. Now the dead is feasting on the town and chasing James Karen and Thom Matthews again? For the time I know I was one of those disappointed horror movie fans that seen this flick in the theater. Now that many years have passed I have a different respect for it and believe it has a place in cheesy horror sequel cinema. But it still leaves me curious or what if they went into a different direction or continued the story of the first film? Feeling a little better about this sequel as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Morons From Outer Space (DVD) – A mid-80s British film about three aliens who have crash landed on earth and the English government believes they have found intelligent life? Problem is the aliens are the dumbest aliens earth could have ever come across. After being poked and prodded the aliens manage to escape and eventually become famous celebrities! Tried my best in keeping awake but this film was mostly a borefest as I give it 1 star.

 

Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort (DVD) – The horror film series where the cannibals have more lives than Jason Voorhees and Toulon’s puppets combined! This time around a group of twentysomethings visit the Hobb Springs Hotel in the mountains of West Virginia. One of them has just inherited the hotel and is finally learning of a family he never had as he recently tried to end his life while working with the stress on Wall Street. Slowly he comes around to the idea that his family means more than friends and he must carry on the bloodline. Which in this case means there will be another ‘Wrong Turn’ sequel that nobody knew was released? I give it 1 star.

 

Pale Blood (VHS) – A vampire (Michael Fury) visits L.A. and is paying a young investigator to investigate vampire-like murders. Mr. Fury is very interested in knowing if there is a vampire on the loose or is it some random weirdo like Wings Hauser making it look like a vampire is murdering people? ‘Pale Blood’ is one of those early 90s direct-to-video releases that flooded the video market that usually got lost in the shuffle. If you are a Wings Hauser fan like myself it’s worth the watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Killer Holiday (DVD) – A group of kids going to party for a weekend are staying for the night next to an old amusement park and want to explore it of course. Meanwhile a lame demented killer named Melvin Holiday is on the prowl as he is tracking and killing the kids one by one. Apparently add this disappointing flick to the “adoption gone bad” section of films or “I don’t need to ever view this again” section… I give it 0 stars.

 

The Incredible Melting Man (DVD) – A lone survivor from a space mission that traveled to Saturn’s rings only to become a Goo Monster who needs human cells to survive. But with his mind turning to mush and losing melting body parts he escapes and terrorizes the countryside killing people. The flick is cheesy but fun but most remember this flick for having the effects done by the famous Rick Baker. I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Big Boss (DVD) – Bruce Lee goes to visit his cousins and find work. Once a few cousins are missing one evening after work Bruce Lee avenges his family by beating every damn person that is anywhere near him! Proving you don’t fuck with his family as I give 2 ½ stars.

 

The Way of the Dragon (DVD) – This flick is set in Italy where Bruce Lee is a country boy who is visiting his Uncle’s family restaurant only to find them and the restaurant in trouble. The mob wants them out whether they sell or just leave… But Bruce Lee begins to make it a little harder for the mob to move in when he takes on the whole mob and then eventually Chuck F’N Norris! The film is famous for its climatic superpower fight at the colosseum. This film is evidence of Bruce Lee really finding himself as an actor and an action star that was supposed to have much bigger things to come but was cut short. I give this Bruce Lee flick 3 stars.

 

Tenebrae (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films reaches deep into the Argento library to give this considered classic by many the all-star treatment with its dual English and Italian tracks, commentary by Maitland McDonagh, trailers from different countries, original U.S. end credits, alternate opening credits, and the interesting documentary ‘Yellow Fever: The Rise and Fall of Gallo’. These extras will leave Argento fans salivating but for those who haven’t experienced ‘Tenebrae’ it is a very bloody experience. The story is about an author named Peter Neal who is promoting his newest book in Italy. At the same time he is there a serial killer is making their mark by killing their victims in the same manner of Neal’s latest book. Neal’s booking agent (John Saxon) tries to keep Neal busy but as the letters after each murder show up and the police with no clues Neal decides he should investigate. ‘Tenebrae’ is an Argento title that isn’t talked about as much as a ‘Suspiria’ or a ‘Deep Red’ but is well worth investing your demented mind into. Synapse Films and Argento are a perfect match for the Blu-ray format and fans will want to add this to their collection also as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. For more info go to: www.synapse-films.com .

 

Buried Alive (DVD) – Another oddity of a horror film that has seemed to pop out of nowhere has an all-star cast and based on an Edgar Allen Poe story. Robert Vaughn runs a school (Ravencroft Girls School) for troubled girls who recently are starting to go missing one by one. When a new teacher arrives and the girls don’t respond to therapy they begin to disappear, transfer, etc. The new teacher begins to investigate with a local town sheriff and things get stranger from there as she has visions of people being bricked up in the walls. The cast besides Robert Vaughn includes: the talented porn star Ginger Lynn, William Butler, Arnold Vosloo, John Carradine (supposedly his last film in 1988), and the man, the myth, the legend Dr. Loomis himself Donald Pleasence! Not the best of slasher films but the names alone make this a gem a must find and watch. I give it 2 stars.

 

Blood Moon (DVD) – A werewolf film set in the Old West (Colorado 1880s) where a small stop for travelers (Pine Bluff, I believe) on the way to Denver turns into a fight of their lives. What sets the film in motion is two outlaw brothers rob a bank and take off to Pine Bluff for fresh horses for their ride south. Problem no one is there, but also the travelers come into town and when no one is found they investigate and find a body and some animal tracks. The two brothers hold the travelers up but also understand they are no longer alone as something is stalking them. Stories of “Skinwalkers” are thrown out there but some don’t believe until the blood and guts begin to pile up. A relatively low budget film with a good solid story, solid werewolf, a ton of gore, and interesting characters make this werewolf flick worth putting on the list of good werewolf films to watch… Which isn’t many as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Sand (DVD) – The film has also been marketed as ‘The Sand’ stars Jaime Kennedy for ten minutes and about spring breakers finding an alien egg during their beach party only to wake next morning to see the egg hatched. Also very few people left in the morning or ones who didn’t fall asleep on the sand. Next thing you know a cheap version of ‘Blood Beach’ happens but then that’s why I seek random crap like this out and you don’t. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Rockabilly Zombie Weekend (DVD) – The mosquitoes are bad in the swamps of Florida and the West Nile Virus is running rampant. The government comes to a local airplane pilot to pay him extra if he uses their new experimental pesticide mix to kill off the West Nile mosquitoes. He sprays the local towns with the new stuff and the people who came in contact with it soon change, die, and become the undead all during a rockabilly wedding. Zombies are attacking, mothers are fighting over their kids, but all Becky and Grant want is to get married and go to Vegas to see Elvis. There isn’t anything ground breaking genre wise but if you enjoy rockabilly music, tattoos, and zombie goo and gore then you are in in for a treat as I give it 2 stars.

 

Direct Action (DVD) – I believe a Canadian film about Dolph Lundgren as a good cop who just got a new partner. Problem isn’t the partner the problem is Dolph is about to testify for the Feds against cops known as the “Direct Action Unit”. Cops who might be above the law but have help crime go down 30% in the past year. But they are all dirty and Dolph just needs to survive till 5pm to go testify in front of a jury. So its cop on cop violence as Dolph tries not die and help his partner not become another victim in this action cop flick. I give this 2004 Dolph flick 2 ½ stars.

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CarousHELL (YouTube/DVD) – One of my favorite independent filmmakers, the talented Steve Rudzinski has released another project and it does not disappoint at all. The hilarious horror film is about a carousel horse/unicorn named Duke who is at a small amusement park and part of the Carousel ride. Duke is disgruntled and tired of the amusement park life. Duke is the only talking carousel horse/unicorn with no one to talk too. But what has Duke the most disgruntled is chubby kids putting their unwashed hands all over him. So after Laurie and her younger brother Lunchbox visit the park and Lunchbox rides Duke, Duke has had enough and leaves the ride. His goal is to track down the fat kid and murder him. Meanwhile, Laurie and her younger brother go to a party as Duke begins his murder spree and only Cowboy Cool can help now. But by the time Cowboy Cool reaches the party the damage has been done as Duke has murdered his way to the kid named Lunchbox. And if this amazingly absurd horror movie couldn’t get any better or weirder depending on your point of view the carousel horse/unicorn has crazy animal sex with an incredibly hot tattooed woman who loves unicorns. Thank you Steve for helping me cross off something I thought I would never see in a horror movie. Don’t know if that is good or bad? ‘CarousHELL’ is absurd, absolutely unrealistic, completely ridiculous, and I LOVE IT!!! Steve made the impossible possible movie fans! And let’s not forget the great gore effects (not one but two great face smash effects). This film is easily one of the best features I have watched this year and will be on my “Best of 2016” list. I give this Rudzinski creation 4 out of 4 stars and you can find more or purchase it at: www.CarousHELL.com or www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Creature Feature coming August 9th

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Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jYkI1FUMTI

 Creature Feature

Creature Feature Available August 9th, 2016

 

Five interwoven tales of terror, all taking place on one foggy Halloween night in Georgia. A babysitter learns a new appreciation for fine art and hard lesson about the consequences of being irresponsible and naughty!; a group of college kids stumble upon the mother of all Scarecrows; two teenagers are forced to steal from a cantankerous old hermit who has been known to howl at the moon; A murdered father hell bent on vengeance against his gold-digging wife and traitorous children; All of this Halloween fun brought to us by our guide, a London Gentleman known as…”Jack”.

 

Highlights:

  • Creature Features are a sub-genre of Horror, which were a staple in the 1960’s, cultivating a huge cult following to this day. Creature Feature is a true homage to the genre.
  • Directed by Chase Smith, Director of recent horror hits Realm of Souls, and Hollywood Nightmare, and the latest release from Spirit World Films.
  • Comic book Movies are huge right now!  Creature Feature is marketed, as well as produced to have a comic book feel, as the story progresses through each turn of the page.

 

 

About Brain Damage Films:

 

Since 2001 Brain Damage Films has been one of the largest and most respected independent horror film distributors worldwide. Our catalog of hundreds of horror and shock movies ranges from reality/shock classics like Traces of Death to newer, high quality independent features.

Brain Damage Films has fans around the world who know and appreciate our films. We’ve got a name for them: Gorehounds. Do you have a lust for graphic, bloody depictions of death or violence? How about the “three B’s” (Beasts, Blood, and Boobs)? Maybe you’re a connoisseur of shot-on-video, low-budget horror… Or an earnest filmmaker working your way up to direct the next Saw or Friday the 13th?

If any of these descriptions sound familiar, you might be a Gorehound!

 

 

 

 

 

Visit our Various label websites:

 

http://www.braindamagefilms.com

 

http://www.midnightreleasing.com/

 

http://www.emaximmedia.com/

 

http://www.acortinternational.com/

TERROR FILMS RELEASES OFFICIAL TRAILER & POSTER FOR HOUSE OF PURGATORY

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Los Angeles, CA (July 20, 2016) – In September of 2015, genre distributor, Terror Films announced it had acquired Worldwide rights to the horror film, HOUSE OF PURGATORY by first time writer/director Tyler Christensen.

 

House-of-Purgatory-Movie-Poster-Tyler-Christensen

The film stars Brian Krause (best known for his eight-season portrayal of “Leo Wyatt” on Charmed), Anne Leighton (CBS’ Criminal Minds) and Laura Coover (ABC’s How To Get Away With Murder) and is about four mid-western teenagers who go looking for a fabled haunted house on Halloween night. Once finding it, they slowly realize that the house is much more than a run-of-the-mill Halloween attraction – somehow the house knows each of their deepest secrets. One-by-one the house uses these secrets against the terrified teens, who soon find themselves in a battle to save not only their lives, but also their very souls.

Terror Films Executive Jim Klock came across HOUSE OF PURGATORY at Fear Fete Horror Film Festival where it was an official selection and star Anne Leighton was nominated for Best Actress in a feature. The film also screened at Los Angeles’ Shriekfest.

The film will have a wide ancillary release, currently set for this Fall. Exact dates for the release will be announced soon, followed by exclusive clips. In the meantime, check out the official trailer and poster for the film.

Trailer Link: https://youtu.be/Prm3WSd90xM

ABOUT TERROR FILMS:

Terror Films is a Los Angeles based distribution label with a focus on horror, Sci-Fi and thriller films targeted for limited theatrical, Television and all major ancillary markets, including DVD, EST, VOD and all major streaming outlets. Their first film THE CHOSEN, starring YouTube Sensation Kian Lawley, remained in the Top 100 of Horror Films on iTunes for 8 consecutive weeks upon its release. Their second film TRACE opened exclusively on Redbox in all 40,000 locations followed by a wide ancillary release. The label recently released the award winning film LANDMINE GOES CLICK on DVD and is gearing up to release an impressive slate over the next 5 months of 2016, including their original Anthology PATIENT SEVEN starring Michael Ironside and Jack Plotnick; the documentary UNEARTHED & UNTOLD: THE PATH TO PET SEMATARY; GODDESS OF LOVE; THE DARK STRANGER; HELL HOUSE LLC and THE HOUSE ON PINE STREET.  The company is repped by Michael Sherman of Reed Smith LLP.

For more information on Terror Films, go to: www.terrorfilms.net

To submit a completed film for consideration, please send a screener link to: submissions@terrorfilms.net

 

 

TERROR FILMS ACQUIRES SAVAGELAND

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– – HORROR GENRE DISTRIBUTOR TO RELEASE THE FILM IN 2017 – –

Los Angeles, CA (July 15, 2016) – It was announced today that Terror Films has acquired North American distribution rights for the horror film SAVAGELAND. The film was written, directed and produced by Simon Herbert, along with Phil Guidry and David Whelan. SAVAGELAND’s story is about a small town near the Arizona-Mexico border that is wiped out overnight. Suspicion falls on the lone survivor until a roll of photos, the survivor took that night, tells a very different and chilling story.

SAVAGELAND was an official selection at 15 film festivals including: the San Diego Comic Con, Morbido Film Festival and the New Orleans Horror Film Festival. At the NOHFF, Terror Films’ executive Jim Klock discovered the film and stated: “what struck me about the film right away was the level of realism, the filmmaker’s ability to create a rich documentary style world and a film with a feeling that we are watching something we maybe shouldn’t be watching.”

On deciding to work with Terror Films, filmmakers, Simon Herbert, Phil Guidry and David Whelan of – The Massive – stated: “we set out to make a smart and innovative horror movie. When it came time to distribute it, we wanted to partner with a smart and innovative company. We always had a vision from the start, but Terror Films did what a great partner should do; it helped us expand that vision. We look forward to unleashing something genuinely creepy on audiences.”

Terror Films is planning a wide ancillary release across all major Digital, EST and VOD platforms in 2017 and will be reworking all previously released art and trailers.

ABOUT TERROR FILMS:

Terror Films is a Los Angeles based distribution label with a focus on horror, sci-Fi and thriller films. Distribution outlets include: DVD, EST, VOD and all major streaming outlets. Their first film The Chosen, starring YouTube Sensation Kian Lawley, remained in the Top 100 of Horror Films on iTunes for 8 consecutive weeks upon its release. Their second film Trace opened exclusively on Redbox in all 40,000 locations, followed by a wide ancillary release. The label recently released the award winning film Landmine Goes Click on DVD. This label is gearing up to release an impressive slate over the next 5 months of 2016, including their original anthology Patient Seven starring Michael Ironside and Jack Plotnick, the documentary Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary, The House on Pine Street, The Dark Stranger, Hell House LLC and House of Purgatory.The company is repped by Michael Sherman of Reed Smith LLP.

For more information on Terror Films, go to: www.terrorfilms.net

 

 

TERROR FILMS ACQUIRES GODDESS OF LOVE

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– – Genre Distribution Company to Release the Film in the Fall of 2016 – –

Los Angeles, CA (July 13, 2016) – It was announced today that Terror Films has acquired North American rights to the erotic, psychological thriller GODDESS OF LOVE, from director Jon Knautz. Terror Films is planning a wide ancillary release, for the film, across all major digital, EST and VOD platforms in the fall. As part of their recently announced partnership, Raven Banner Releasing will be handling the Canadian distribution, while Automatic Entertainment is overseeing distribution for the rest of the world.

In the film, Venus (Alexis Kendra), a lonely, eccentric woman, meets Brian (Woody Naismith), the man of her dreams. A sexually fueled, passionate relationship begins. But, as time progresses, that wonderful honeymoon-phase changes into something hellish. Brian breaks things off when his old fling, Christine (Elizabeth Sandy) comes back into his life. Completely destroyed, Venus begins a downward spiral into madness as she acts out her twisted fantasies of love and revenge.

GODDESS OF LOVE was an official selection at Film4 FrightFest, in London and the Sitges International Fantastic Film Festival. The film centrally stars Alexis Kendra. Kendra also co-wrote and produced the film with director Jon Knautz, Woody Naismith and Elizabeth Sandy.

Jon Knautz quote: “I’m glad to have found the proper home for Goddess of Love with Terror Films and I’m excited to unleash it this fall.”

Alexis Kendra quote: “I’m thrilled to be working with Terror Films and I hope the audience loves the film as much as we loved making it.”

Exact dates for the release will be announced soon, followed by exclusive clips. In the meantime, check out the official U.S trailer and poster.

Trailer Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apj9XU_AhYA&feature=youtu.be

Goddess-of-Love-Jon-Knautz-Movie-Poster

Gross Movie Reviews #382

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Gross Movie Reviews #382

 

Howling II: My Sister is a Werewolf (DVD) – The sequel to the original and highly successful ‘The Howling’ takes a complete left turn introducing a whole other idea of werewolves among us instead of just owning a small community in the mountains. The sequel goes for the jugular with it’s over the top chaos of introducing Sybil Danning as a head werewolf fulfilling a prophecy and Christopher Lee as a man of the occult. The film picks up from the end of the first film in the sense of Dee Wallace’s brother wants answers but also just wants to bury her and be done with it. But after Lee’s occult character shows him a video tape of her changing into a werewolf and going to her grave to silver in her heart he believes. They travel to Transylvania to fight the werewolves on their turf and we get fun 80s music, punks, werewolf orgies, Christopher Lee being Christopher Lee, werewolf vision, hilarious and fun B-movie stuff. The sequel does have its fans but also there is a few horror fans believe this sequel destroyed what could have been a very good series of movies. Right or wrong this film was fun when I was a teenager but doesn’t hold up as well as maybe part five or six in the series? I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

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Howling V: The Rebirth (DVD) – This sequel is easily one of my favorite ‘Howling’ films. Being released direct-to-video in 1989 where horror sequels were still being churned out almost daily trying to cash-in. The ‘Howling’ series is a werewolf series that clearly suffers from lack of direction like the ‘Hellraiser’ series later on after it. I believe this film was actually some random werewolf film that got the title change when someone figured that the series could use a change as the three sequels before it sent horror fans screaming far away from the series. But anyway the film is a classic “Who dun it?” or this case “Who is the werewolf?” The film begins in 1849 Budapest, where a group of people are in a bloody heap around a dinner table inside a huge castle. Before you ask, no it wasn’t Charles Band’s castle… But anyway people have been slayed in the name of god to stop the werewolf curse. Problem a baby survives! Present time, 1989, a group of people have been invited to an opening of the castle that hasn’t been open since the slaughter of 1849. With little information given the group speculates on why or how they got the invite and what is the story behind the castle and its history. A snowstorm moves in and one by one the invitees disappear being killed by a werewolf. The film could have used a little more gore but I totally believe it still holds up many years later as one of the best sequels of the series. Everybody forgets there is seven films in the series plus a forgettable “Twilightish” reboot. So if you are looking for a good werewolf film no one talks about this would be a good place to start my friends as I give the film 3 ½ stars.

howling 6

Howling VI: Freaks (DVD) – Two years after ‘The Rebirth’ we got another direct-to-video sequel in the series that seem to have less of a budget but another intriguing storyline. This one involves a Freak show run by Harker (Bruce Payne) who he and companions roll through the small dying town Canton Bluff. Meanwhile a British drifter named Ian rolls through town looking for work but is secretive about why he is really there. Harker finds out about Ian’s secret (a werewolf) and uses a spell to make him transform when he wants aka for the show. Harker captures Ian in attempt to use him but turns the town against him after Ian escapes but little the town knows is that Harker is a vampire. Again another fun entry into the series that doesn’t get talked about much but also like ‘Puppet Master’ or ‘Hellraiser’ doesn’t connect it to other sequels in the series. I give the werewolf sequel 3 stars.

 

I Love Lucy (YouTube) – A normal looking short film idea about a girl named Lucy who is going to the Valentine’s dance with her perfect boyfriend Rex. Lucy’s girlfriends seem to be pressuring her into thinking its “time” and she will enjoy “it” but Lucy hesitates. Lucy even feels pressure from the school principal. But once home and Lucy and her boyfriend are alone in her bedroom that is when the short film gets truly weird and bizarre and I enjoyed it! The short film is from Zach Lorkiewicz and I always love seeing truly cool stuff like this from unknown filmmakers. Want more info or see a trailer check out: www.facebook.com/counttheclock and www.counttheclock.com as I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Return to Salem’s Lot (DVD) – A sequel to Stephen King’s TV movie from the late 70s truly came out of left field in the late 80s but was a staple of late night cable television. Michael Moriarity stars as Joe who is in the Amazon taking video of a tribe that has never been seen before. The tribe is chased off by the locals only to tell Joe he needs to get back to the states for his son. His ex-wife cannot control him any longer so Joe decides it’s time for him and his kid to head to Maine where his aunt left him some property. Maybe there they can get closer and know each other again. But as they enter the town of ‘Salem’s Lot’ they know it’s not your normal town as not many people around during the day. They shortly learn the town is full of vampires and the judge wants Joe to write the town’s bible/history to share with the world in maybe a hundred years or so. Especially since the vamps came over on the Mayflower! Once Joe understands this is wrong and the judge is trying to take his boy and teams up with an old dude who knows the judge from years ago. They go house to house burning down ‘Salem’s Lot’ so they can escape. The effects are a little cheesy, it has nothing to do with the original, but it has Michael Moriarity and makes a great double bill with ‘Sundown’. I’m always in when it comes to these oddball 80s sequels as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Divine Enforcer (VHS/DVD-R) – Oh yeah mother fuckers a cast of Jan-Michael Vincent, Eric Estrada, Jim Brown, Robert Z’Dar, Judy Landers, and Scott Shaw (Rollerblade Warriors: Taken by Force fame) show up in this 1992 direct-to-video B-flick about a priest taking the law into his own hands. Father Daniels shows up at his new parish that happens to be in a rough neighborhood. But he can only take so many horrible confessions from horrible individuals. Father Daniels takes down the local mob, strip clubs, but the one he is having trouble with is the serial killer “Vampire of Los Angeles”. With the help from a woman who has ‘the gift of sight’ Father Daniels eventually tracks down this murderous evil. Also pay attention to the last scene of the film, hilarious crap folks as I give this B-movie gift 2 ½ stars.

 

The Killer Elite (DVD) – Not knowing the Statham and DeNiro film was a remake of this 1975 flick it made me want to track down a copy and check it out. The film stars James Cann and Robert Duvall as two agents from a secret part of the government who do things the military or the regular government cannot. Well Duvall’s character wants more money and decides to shoot Cann in the arm and knee to retire him. A year or so later after rehab, Cann has a new life but is approached by his old boss about a job that could help him get revenge. Good flick but for me not as much fun as the remake which surprised me a little as I give this 70s action flick 2 stars.

 

Hard Target (DVD) – A John Woo film produced by Sam Raimi that stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lance Henriksen, Arnold Vosloo, Yancy Butler, and Wilford Brimley… Brilliant! Set in New Orleans where Lance Henriksen plays a bad villain who sets up human hunts for rich people. When Butler’s character comes along looking for her homeless father she screws up the perfect hunt and its all-out war on Jean-Claude’s character ‘Chance’. A great 90s action flick worth revisiting just for JCVD’s glorious mullet! I give the film 3 stars for the mere reason they figured out how to push in two bad ass dudes (Henriksen and Vosloo) into one action flick.

 

Cell (Theater) – The film based on a more recent Stephen King story that involves cell phones. After the book was released in the early 2000s there was a frenzy of companies trying to buy the rights for the film adaption. After a lot of scuttlebutt of Eli Roth being attached in the early stages of the film the project went quiet for a few years. Then John Cusack got a hold of the project and the ball was rolling again and finally made. Cusack is Clay, a man who gets off a plane and wants to see his son and celebrate with his great news. But his cell phone battery dies. He tries to call on a pay phone but notices people begin going nuts killing each other, eating each other, smashing their heads off of pillars; planes crashing… you get the picture. End of the world kinda stuff folks! Clay and Samuel Jackson’s character meet up on a subway car and leave to go to Clay’s apartment to decide on what they should do next? Clay wants to get back to his son up north believing he is still alive and as long as they don’t listen to their phones signal they won’t turn into mindless zombies of sorts. The film is shorter than I thought it would be but still interesting like the book. My only issue with the film is the ending as in the book it just kinda ends where the film tries to give a twist that doesn’t make much sense. But like most of Stephen King’s works he has trouble ending stuff as many horror fans would agree. Is this the perfect version of the film I wanted for the book, “No”. But I still really enjoyed this horror flick for the mere fact the signal isn’t really explained and this easily can happen these days. I give the film 3 stars and sit back and let all the other film geeks argue over the movie as like most horror films I enjoyed it for what it is.

 

Monster from the Surf (DVD) – A groovy mid-60s film where some beach bums grooving to some surf music, surfing, and partying get attacked by a sea creature. The main suspect just happens to be a crippled dude named Mark that lives down the beach since the cops don’t believe in a sea creature? A film that should be only watched at the old school drive-ins. But well worth checking out when revisiting the old 50s and 60s creature/monster flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

She (DVD) – Some years after a nuclear war a goddess rules over women and her name is ‘She’. ‘She’ is played by the cool actress Sandhal Bergman who comes in contact with two men who are in search for the one’s sister who was captured by a tribe called ‘The Norks’. ‘She’ allows the men to stay alive helps them search for Tom’s sister but along the way must fight mutants, vampires, a warlock, and eventually ‘The Norks’. ‘The Norks’ look like extras from the film ‘The Warriors’ but great villains for this fantasy/apocalyptic film. What’s weird about the film was it was finished in 1982 but not released in the U.S. until late 1985. It got a release in several countries during that three year period with the U.S. being last. I give this weird fantasy film 2 stars.

 

I Survived a Zombie Holocaust (DVD) – Another fun oddity from New Zealand where a zombie outbreak happens during filming of a low budget zombie film ‘Tonight They Come’. But it all centers on Wes. It is Wes’s first day on the job as he just graduated film school and has big expectations. Wes quickly learns there are a lot of bitter people behind the scenes of making this flick but Wes also soon learns there is such thing as real zombies. Soon the real zombies begin to feast on cast and crew and all Wes can do is try to survive the onslaught of horror as long as the crew doesn’t kill him first? My favorite scene has to be the special effects guy shoots himself in the face when he jumps out to fight the zombies head on. This is after he begins shooting real people and not the zombies. Horror films from New Zealand never get old as I give this treat 3 stars.

 

The Darkness (On Demand) – Kevin Bacon and his family go on a camping trip to the Grand Canyon only for their autistic son to find an ancient place in the mountains by accident. He picks up these ancient stones and takes them home. These ancient stones when removed from their resting place can open a doorway to something called, ‘The Darkness’. They are demons that live in the shadows and can drive people mad until they die or just steal their souls. Either way you are screwed if you have opened up the doorway. The autistic kid uses the stones every day and talks to his new friend Jenny. Soon his room is fire, a snake attacks grandma, a dog attacks his sister, mom starts drinking again, some weird hokey shit is going down people. In the end I see the film as Poltergeist-lite with an autistic child. Good cast, the film doesn’t insult you like some paranormal films, it will find its audience as I give it 2 ½ stars.

me

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #381

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Gross Movie Reviews #381

 Mummy

Mummy Sleepover Massacre (DVD) – Where has this horrible greatness been hiding at? Well first off it was written, edited, and directed by the one and only Henrique Couto… when he was like 15! Within minutes of me posting of this film being in my possession, Henrique wanted to know how I got it. Second off, with a title like this you knew this movie would find its way to me just because. It has been long out of print but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the horrible glory of a toilet paper covered mummy murdering teenagers at a slumber party. There isn’t a whole lot to say about it besides that. Is it bad… yes? Did I enjoy this gem from an unknown filmmaker (2003) at the time who is a big deal now… Hell yeah!!! Henrique understand this film has found its rightful place in my movie collection where it belongs as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars. But it is one the best god damn 1 ½ star movies ever just for the title and the toilet paper mummy! And Henrique, thank you.

 

The Conjuring 2 (Theater) – After the events of the first film the Warrens find themselves investigating the famous home in Amityville in 1976. During a séance Lorraine finds herself defending herself against an evil she has never experienced before but not a part of the famous Amityville house. Once home she makes Ed promise her they take a break because she has seen his death. But this evil spirit takes residence in a single mom of four’s house in London 1977. The Warrens are called in by the church just to observe for three days. When they arrive one child is completely terrorized and the other three kids and mom scared for their lives with no one to turn too. After video proof that it was faked or supposedly fake, the Warrens rush back to the home to help the family from this beyond evil spirit that refuses to go away. Amazing flick again horror fans. I am not much into paranormal movies but the two ‘Conjuring’ flicks I have absolutely loved and glad they exist. I give the sequel 4 stars and forgive them for even thinking ‘Annabelle’ was a good idea. Wait a minute… there may be a sequel to ‘Annabelle’? Don’t fuck with the formula based on true stories Hollywood! Just sayin…

 

Swamp Thing the Series: Volume Two (DVD) – This box set covers half of the third season as the third season had something like 50 episodes. Crazy, but what is really weird I must start my quest looking for this other box set as it seems to unavailable everywhere? But anyway after ignoring for a full season that Arcane sent a kid to South America news comes that Jim is alive sending his mom on many trips to South America looking for him. Sadly no help from Swamp Thing but that doesn’t stop Alec Holland from getting a new love interest that during an episode Mr. Swamp Thing eats rare lizard eggs that gets him high and dream about his new girl. They do kill off Kari Wuhrer’s character quickly and have a few episodes where Swamp Thing and Arcane must help out each other. Overall its cheesy television but worth checking out if it pops up on Netflix, On Demand, Hulu, etc., as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Survivors

Survivors (DVD/Vimeo) – Those filmmakers in the UK refuse to let the zombie genre go away as this latest entry into the genre takes a dramatic and political take on it. Medea is a medical testing joint that is funded by the government and recently some human patients have gone missing. With little to go on Kate and her cameraman Duke try to get the inside scoop on what is going on and see if the rumors are true about a new secret weapon, “Zombies”. While investigating the experiments have worked and the patients have escaped causing a shitload of chaos in the world. From here the film focuses on Kate before and after the chaos flipping back and forth. After Duke takes off looking for help Kate continues on trying to survive only to meet Paul, who just so happens to be sent by the government to find out what actually does Kate know? The film is a dramatic, classic, smart take on an overloaded zombie genre which for me never gets old as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The film has the suspense of another recent zombie movie I liked called, ‘State of Emergency’. For more on this film check out: www.continuummotionpictures.com and www.mctvnetwork.com .

 

Just Desserts: The Making of Creepshow (Blu-ray) – A Michael Felsher project that took a life of its own as it went from a special feature to a full-length documentary that can only be explained as an orgasmic explosion of amazingness about the legendary film ‘Creepshow’. The documentary covers everything of how it began to Tom Savini thinking it was Halloween for five months straight while being on set to make all sorts of creatures for the anthology. The film is almost timeless and has one of my favorite stories of horror in the segment called ‘The Crate’. The documentary has some great interviews with George Romero, Savini, Ed Harris and so on but also great stories about Stephen King and him being a kid at heart. The Blu-ray also has ‘Scream Greats’ Tom Savini video which was watched by many horror fans who grew up in the 80s but now has a commentary as well with Savini looking back at the video. This Blu-ray is a true nerd out of a disc as it has everything you could ever imagine about ‘Creepshow’ and for that I say thank you to Mr. Felsher as I give the Blu-ray 4 out of 4 stars but also it will be one of the best horror discs of 2016! Place your order now at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Blood Glacier (DVD) – A German horror film about a Climate Research Center high in the mountains and its occupants finding a strange blood red covered mountain one day and gone the next. But after a dog is bitten or prodded strange noises are heard and they get back to home base to examine the samples. The samples are no good or so they thought so they rush back up there the next day and it’s gone. Strange things are happening to the world since the glaciers are melting and this can be one of them where animals and bugs mutate then attack humans. It boils down to the German version of ‘The Thing’. It’s hard not to make the comparison but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this lesser known creature feature as I give it 3 stars.

 

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 & 2 (DVD) – The 2012 animated feature stars the voice of Peter Weller as Batman where Batman is now 70 and been out of the spotlight for ten years. But since his disappearance Gotham has gotten worse from a whole new slew of criminals called “The Mutants”. Bruce Wayne tired of retirement and Commissioner Gordon about to retire decides it is time for Batman to return and restore order in Gotham. But this isn’t your Saturday morning Batman cartoon folks as not only does Batman kill some people or criminals, but “The Joker” does also during his return to society. Pretty violent and the story of how Batman fakes his death so he can continue teaching young people to take care of Gotham from the shadows. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

“Dark Web”

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“Wants You to Scare Us.”

Los Angeles, California: Taggart Productions and Felt Films have teamed up with Latino-Review Media (LRM) for the horror/sci-fi series “Dark-Web.” The eight-part anthology series revolves around the mysterious disappearance of a young Cyber-security analyst and the trail of stories she leaves behind for her friends to unravel.

Both companies are encouraging writers to participate in the series by submitting their own entries (scripts should be around 10-15 pages), themed around the concept of “the dark side of the internet and a constantly connected world.” One entry will be chosen to be part of the anthology. This writing competition has already started as of May 13th and due to positive response, will run until July 5th, 2016. You can read instructions and submit your script here:

http://www.latino-review.com/dark-web

Michael and Tim Nardelli have teamed with Circle writer/director Mario Miscione (also co-creator of the popular web series “The Vault”), to craft this overarching tale. The series will be highlighted by a number of short films within the story, each written and directed by different filmmakers. 
As well, a number of creatives have already been attached to the project: Tim and Michael Nardelli, Mario Miscione, Autumn Federici, Zelda Williams, LRM’s Kellvin Chavez, Roxy Shih, Nicky Whelan, and Kerry Rhodes.

The writer whose script is chosen will get their writing credit on the episode and a co-producer credit to the project, in the credits and on IMDB. 
This is your chance to create something truly horrifying and take the next step in your filmmaking career by having your own piece of content produced and distributed. Send your scripts now! And, be sure to check out LRM (latino-review.com) for updates and winner announcements.

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