Tag Archives: Brion James

Gross Movie Reviews #637

0
Posted on by

Arena Wars (DVD) – Here is a fun sci-fi B-flick that is set in the future… 2045 to be exact that has appearances of some cool stars in Michael Madsen, Eric Roberts, and Robert Lasardo. The film revolves a streaming TV show called “Arena Wars”: Seven rooms, seven extreme murderers, with a group of death row prisoners being sent through without weapons to survive. If they make it through the violence of course they are promised freedom. If not it’s no big loss to the legal system since the inmates are on death row. Of course everyone from all walks of life watches the show but TV execs are very concern with ratings as they seem to be in a downslide. So why not make a hero for the people to get behind? In comes Luke Bender who is innocent and undercover but to the TV execs this doesn’t matter as they have access to all prisoner info for their TV show. What also doesn’t help the execs ultimate financial goal is their killers or ‘specially formulated soldiers’ formula may not be working any longer? The execs are all in on Bender but Bender is not all in on their idea as he and his group are gaining support as they move through the rooms. Many small and big Indy projects have tried this “The Running Man” formula and failed. ‘Arena Wars’ has found an entertaining and watchable way of presenting itself as to me it feels like Arnold’s “The Running Man” of course, mixed with the lesser known “Final Round” with Lorenzo Lamas, with a splash of the recent horror film “Haunt” which means some good bloodshed! Sounds like a great screwed up future to me so I’m in as I give this action filled flick 3 out of 4 stars.

The Villain (DVD) – Before we all knew our boy Arnold as Conan and The Terminator, he was known as the “Handsome Stranger” in this Hal Needham comedy about the Old West. Imagine “Hooper” and “Cannonball Run” set in the old west with a little less laughs? Kirk Douglas plays a bumbling bad guy (Cactus Jack) who after a botched bank robbery is thrown in jail but approached by the banker to screw someone over. From there it is pretty much a live action cartoon throughout. Actually thought Arnold did a great job just don’t think it was the right project for him at the time but that was proven with his other projects as I give this 2 stars.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (Theater) – It is exactly what you thought it was and what you were going to get. It’s the origin story of the Furiosa character from “Fury Road”. If you were a fan of the last Mad Max film you will mostly enjoy, if not then I suggest finding something else to watch instead of bitching about this project. George Miller and crew did almost everything right again in bringing the world of Mad Max to life again, almost…? I had to pick something and that would be as much I enjoy this character, the film itself, and this for selfish reasons, I need me some Max! The three second screen time was cool and satisfying but that is what I am always going to want from this franchise. Great film again and hopefully we get one more as I give this 3 ½ stars.

HeBGB TV (Blu-ray) – Wow, right out the gates this thing screams mid-90s Nick shows! This era is a little past my time but I was still able to appreciate what a great viewing pleasure of this project was. It begins with a rando package on a front doorstep picked up by siblings who were hoping it was pizza. This out of this world cable box once inside immediately hooks itself up and out comes “The Purple Guy” to explain and entertain the siblings. As The Purple Guy allows the siblings to watch the programming and advertisements we keep getting newsbreaks that the cable box is going everywhere and taking over the world. But the siblings in the end are not having what The Purple Guy is offering. The production and presentation of this project is just absolutely entertaining along with the young sibling characters giving this horror delight an innocence you don’t see often or pulled off correctly. Horror fans if you grew up in the 90s make a point to pick up a copy of this as these fantastic independent productions are rare as I give it 4 stars.

Verotika (DVD) – Well I finally decided it was time to see why some horror fans were calling this “the worst horror film” of all time as this was Glen Danzig’s first feature. After seeing his most recent one “Death Rider” and how weird some of that was this finally struck my curiosity? This anthology is broken down into three segments which the first is about a girl with eyeballs on her boobs and a giant spider dude who is screwing a hot babe! I am guessing Mr. Danzig is just a fan of Charles Band’s “Monsterbra” (remember those?) and what was it with the bad French accent? Anyhow the second segment is about a woman who likes to kill women to slice their faces off and display them. The last segment is about a countess who travels the countryside for beautiful women to bathe in their blood and enjoy the beheadings and bloodshed when she is done. The movie is neither good or bad, hell really felt like it doesn’t go anywhere but I will say I am glad I watched “Death Rider” first as I give this film 1 star.

The Dark (VHS/YouTube) – Stephen McHattie plays a scientist who gets into an incident with a cop played by Brion James concerning something mysterious living under a graveyard. Two years go by and McHattie’s character is still wanted as he shows back up in town again. This at the same time two graveyard workers uncovers the giant rat creature and its lair! The scientist of course thinks it is a link to the past as the cop just wants revenge for his partner to kill the creature. Think “Creature from the Black Lagoon” with a splash of “Lurking Fear” in this Canadian early 90s creature feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Twin Dragon Encounter (YouTube) – A Canadian mid-80s action mess about twin brothers knowing the art of ‘kung fu’, hell they even explain it in the opening scenes of the film about heroes in Hollywood. The main plot of the film concerns the twins taking their girlfriends on vacation only to be bothered by some Z-grade weekend warrior types. After the weekend warriors get their asses kick in slow motion a few times they decide to take action during their ‘war games’ to kidnap the girlfriends. This sets up more cheesy dialogue, more slow motion fighting, and action scenes that might make you piss yourself laughing as I give this entertaining movie  mess 2 stars and not for being good.

Omen (On Demand) – Sometimes I go out of my comfort zone of movies and watch non-horror or just strange crap. This international project falls into that territory as in this dramatic tale a man goes back to his home country to confront his mother and family even though they believed he had the ‘mark of the devil’ on him. In his culture you want the blessing of your parents when getting married or having kids but mainly this was last chance to reconnect before his twins are born. Not the usual stuff you will see me review but it was just interesting enough for me to watch something about a man being shunned by family because he was the ‘devil’ as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Boy Kills World (On Demand) – In an alternate world where a deaf boy has his mom and sister murdered by a dictator. After being found in the jungle a Shaman trains him from a boy to adult to be the perfect killing machine. The boy never forgets what drives him as he wants revenge in this chaotic world of dreamy weirdness. But you have to pay attention to the complete insane story because not all is what it seems as this feels like someone threw Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive”, the over the top action film “Hardcore Henry”, and one of my favs “Raid the Redemption” into a blender! The final product is a wonderful wacky huge body count of an action film that I will be enjoying many times over as I give it 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #399

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #399

 

The Howling: Reborn (DVD) – Before we get started horror fans this movie seem to be pooped out of thin air? No one totally knows why or claims it? Just like most of the howling sequels this entry had nothing to do with the other sequels. No one is totally sure this was a reboot either? So I like to believe someone picked up an old Fangoria magazine or just stumbled randomly on Google about “The Howling” series and said, “Let’s roll with it!” Problem is no respected horror fan was excited by the last entry ‘New Moon Rising’… So why now I ask, who actually fucking knows but I bet you if this film had a different title there is a good chance it is released into theaters for teen girls not pooped out there in “On Demand land” like it was. Reboot, sequel, someone’s bad movie idea come to life, you knew I would eventually break down and watch this son of a bitch. The film is boiled down to ‘Teen Wolf’ (Michael J. Fox version) trying to fight off the new bullies in school who happen to be a pack of wolves led by his dead mum. And the teenage boy will do anything to protect his new hot girlfriend and himself from the psychos while locked up in their high school. I totally knew this film wasn’t marketed for me but it still gets 1 star. Maybe they can do a documentary on whose crazy idea it was just to do another ‘Howling’ flick?

a-boy-and-his-dog

A Boy and His Dog (DVD) – The mid-70s post-apocalyptic flick has been public domain at times and released several times on DVD but truly never gets the respect it deserves. Its 2024, after World War 4 and Don Johnson who plays Vic has a psychic link to a dog named “Blood”. Vic and Blood are just trying to navigate the Wastelands to survive and for Vic to get laid at some point. After finding a girl at the so called movies he follows her too finally to get laid but things get sidetrack as others have followed. Vic saves the girl and follows her to the underground against Blood’s wishes. So Vic learns for himself as he finds a weirdo colony actually sent the girl out to find a guy to help repopulate their underground community. Of course Vic wants none of this and escapes with one of my favorite movie endings ever! I give the classic 3 ½ stars.

 

Mutator (VHS/YouTube) – Brion James stars as David a man who just got the job to fill in for the missing security guard at the Tigen Corporation. With the doors shutting for the night and his night shift begins where he is debating with the other guards about the possible genetic experiment that went wrong at the facility several months ago. Meanwhile a couple animal activists convinced the young daughter of the CEO of Tigen to help them break-in and release some of the animals to make a statement. Once inside they only find dead animals and something is following them very closely. It’s a weird cat creature that has been loose since the accident and has tried to be covered up by the CEO. A straight-to-video sci-fi blast as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dead Man Walking (VHS/YouTube) – As I keep diving into the post-apocalyptic genre of the 80s I found this unknown gem that stars Wings Hauser, Brion James, Jeffrey Combs! Holy shit people I would watch this a hundred times just for the casting of those three alone. It doesn’t mean it will be the most exciting film like this one but sometimes you wonder if they get all-star B-movie casts like this to just sell the crappy flick. The year, 1997, World War 3 has happened and a plague has killed off half of the world’s population. The survivors if you wanna call them that are left in the ruins to survive and there is the few who are called “The Zero Men”. They have the plague but are not contagious but have a year or two left of life and can be unpredictable. Combs was a limo driver for his rich ass boss and the boss’s daughter was kidnapped by an escaped convict and zero man in Brion James. Combs finds Wings Hauser, another zero man to hire him to help track down this woman through the plague zone. Gotta give some love to the filmmaker thinking the old “fish bowl” AMC car would survive all this to travel through the plague zone. Again not the best of plots but the cast is what makes this gem worth tracking down and owning if you are a weirdo like me. I give the B-flick 2 stars.

 

Kill Show (YouTube) – A short film that features a young woman’s struggle with her perverted mind frame of being a clown. The film takes you into her mental breakdown and she gets off on hearing about her random killing spree that can only end in one way. She wants to be known/remembered, not forgotten. Todd Braley and crew do a wonderful job of making this an interesting and creepy short film that makes you want to know more about this young woman’s story. What adds to the feel of the flick is the way the film was shot as it felt like the crew might have been trying to give the viewer a unique disturbing view into her madness. Wonderful stuff from Mr. Braley and hope there is a lot more coming for film fans. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can rent it at www.reelhouse.org/infinitymediaprods/kill-show .

 

Digital Man (DVD) – Oh a fun horrible post-apocalyptic flick that has a cast that is worth more than the budget of the film: Matthias Hues, Ed Lauter, Chase Masterson, Don Swayze, Amanda Wyss, Adam Baldwin, Paul Gleason, and Clint F’N Howard! This B-movie combines Robocop and Cyborg Cop into a military weapon that was made to tackle terrorism. Digital Man is used in a secret mission to take out some terrorists and does it pretty quickly. Some higher-ups in the military are not happy with the test against the terrorists going well and try to sabotage Digital Man on his flight back. The flight goes down in a small town of Badwater and a team of humans and cyborgs are sent into the town to dismantle and retrieve the launch codes from Digital Man. Hilarious action scenes keep you awake throughout this B-flick that made question if ‘Dollman’ or ‘Robot Wars’ was being filmed at the same time on the same set. Oh the bad fun movie gets 2 stars.

 

Lesbian Vampire Killers (DVD) – Two bumbling friends (Jimmy just had a bad break-up again and the other just fired again from his job) take a trip into the countryside after a drunken idea they had. Instead of just enjoying the scenery and hanging with hot women they are now in in the fight of their lives with vampires, lesbian vampires. The lesbian vampires are trying to revive their ancient Queen Carmilla who was vanquished by Jimmy’s long lost relative the Baron centuries ago. But Jimmy is the saving grace as he has the power within him to kill the queen if he doesn’t get bitten first. If you enjoy films like ‘Shaun of the Dead’ and ‘Doghouse’, you’ll enjoy the humor in this horror/comedy also as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Prototype (VHS/YouTube) – A very boring sci-fi flick set in 2057 L.A. where a young scientist is interested in why the “Prototype program” disappeared 20 years ago and its founder ten years before that. She learns more about the program when given access and convinces a young wheelchair bound war vet to be a part of an experiment in the revived program. Once he does he becomes a weapon unbeknownst to her. Not a whole lot happens in the movie except a lot of robot vision and random robot sounds and for that I give it 1 star.

 

Desert Warrior (VHS/YouTube) – Look out boys and girls I found another post-apocalyptic flick from the 80s, made in the Philippines, and stars mother fucking Lou Ferrigno with a damn eye patch! If it helps to find this flick in your local libraries it was also released under the title as ‘Sand Wars’. Plagues of course have destroyed the world after World War 3 and Zerak (Lou) is sent to find an uncontaminated woman for his clan. The radiation fallout is destroying the clan and the leader wants fresh women to help keep the clan alive. Zerak finds a woman named Rachella who wants to explore outside of her underground bubble. Rachella gets in some trouble with mutants and Zerak saves her. Soon Zerak doesn’t want her to be used by his clan, he wants to save her. Lou is so bad ass in this flick he lets a mad doctor perform an experiment on him to give his eye back instead of death! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #398

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #398

 

Deadly Instincts (DVD) – In the U.S. this 90s flick is known as ‘Breeders’. Almost everywhere else it is known as ‘Deadly Instincts’. Believe me when you see the video box or poster you most likely walked past this flick at some point in time at a video store. A U.F.O. happens to crash land at an all-girls college, hooray for us horndogs! There is a creature inside with an alien woman also scurrying about. The creature is there to stalk beautiful women down to see who can be a suitable host for its offspring. The bodies begin piling up and no one is listening to the teacher who’s banging his favorite student. Eventually the authorities find the secret tunnels under the college and begin to investigate but are no match for the creature! We have bootleg Pumpkinhead, bootleg Julie Strain, it’s from the U.K., I am in every time as I give the 90s flick 2 ½ stars.

 

The Lego Batman Movie (Theater) – We all can argue to our deaths that DC universe has fucked up a lot shit. But when it comes to “Lego Batman” they do not fuck around and take a cue from the first ‘Lego Movie’ and run with it. The film is based around Batman being awesome and the ultimate hero of course, but with Commissioner Gordon retiring and Gotham not needing Batman any longer he is lonely. But Batman has always been a loner? With the Joker in the asylum cooking up his next plan Batman comes face to face with why his life is incomplete. In a series of events of sending the Joker to the “Phantom Zone”, Joker is able to hatch his latest ultimate plan in hopes of Batman understanding he needs to hate the Joker. Batman soon understands he needs family to conquer evil. Great story and Batman fans will not be disappointed as filmmakers find a way to incorporate every incarnation of Batman and his movies throughout the film. More than likely this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2017 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Superbeast (DVD) – An early 70s flick about a woman doctor who goes to the jungles of the Philippines to investigate a strange happening. Back in the states she is called in to do an autopsy on a man or thing that terrorized a plane on its way from the Philippines. Instead of discovering something great in evolution she discovers bootleg Dr. Moreau whose mistakes are hunted for sport by a rich dude. Somewhat boring but does have a good ending as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

House 4: Repossession (DVD) – Before you even ask I do not think any of the ‘House’ movies have anything to do with each other including part 4 that happens to star William Katt. For those who might not know Mr. Katt starred in the 80s classic original that also co-starred Richard Moll and George Wendt where his old dead army buddy kidnaps his kid. This sequel does not even come close to being that good. I also believe this movie was under a different title but somebody thought they could cash in on the title ‘House’ when William Katt was in it and they were wrong. This flick has William Katt (Roger) inherit his father’s old house. Apparently his grandfather made a blood oath and the house must stay in Roger’s family. When a tragic accident takes Roger’s life, his wife and daughter movie into the place thinking it’s the right thing to do. Until the half-brother keeps pushing for them to sell the house and strange things keep happening (a pizza that sings then gets stab to explode all over the lead actress). I give the film 1 star and still wondering if it was a true sequel where is Brion James and Lance Henriksen and shouldn’t it be called ‘The Horror Show 2’?

 

The Night Shift (Vimeo/DVD) – One of my favorite and hardest working filmmakers Massimiliano Cerchi (say that five times fast in a Pittsburgh/yinzer accent) is back with his latest film that centers around Frank the security guard. Frank has just scored the ultimate cushy guard duty job of working overnight to watch a mansion for some rich dude. Only catch don’t fall asleep? Frank gets bored quickly but is unsure of how this is an easy deal even with Frank’s boss explaining it’s an easy deal and don’t fall asleep. Frank still unsure of the big mysterious home finds himself dozing off to sleep and being awakened by strange things. The strange things are demons fucking with Frank and clearly the best part of the film. The plot of the film is solid if it was a half hour or so? But its longer running time especially without really introducing the demons sooner may bore some viewers. Now the film only runs 65 minutes but the demons are that fucking awesome they deserved more screen time. The demons are the allure of watching this film and I would give this film a more favorable review if I got more of those bad ass creepy demons. The demons are the stars of this story and felt they needed to be fleshed out more? Hell, if they were in it more maybe this could be marketed as ‘Demons 7’ and found a way for Caroline Munro to make a cameo. I just feel when you have such cool looking and possibly interesting creatures/demons you should build the film around them not the other way around… Anyway I still got mad respect for Mr. Cerchi as a filmmaker because I have no doubt he is working on something better as I give this project 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

The Dead of Night (DVD) – Some high school students party at the cemetery all the time. So when the popular students invite the geeks to their little party site you know nothing good is going to come of it. The prank goes wrong when the two geeks are attacked by a creature that changes them and now they want to take over other students. Not a really exciting 1 star horror movie.

never-too-young-to-die

Never Too Young to Die (YouTube) – Finally this mid-80s gem will find its way onto Blu-ray and all will be right with the world as I spent most of the 90s looking for this flick. The most random action thriller that stars a young John Stamos as Stargrove, a cross-dressing villain named Ragnar played by Gene Simmons, Vanity as a secret agent, and Robert Englund for five minutes as a sadistic mad computer bomber! It played a few times on HBO in the mid-80s and all but disappeared the video stores I frequented and when I explained it (pre-internet) people thought I made it up? Lance Stargrove is a gymnast whose father is a legendary secret government agent who is killed by Ragnar and his fingernail for a program disk that could poison the water supply for a hundred years. When the disk cannot be found Ragnar sits back to allow Lance to find the disk for him. Lance finds out with his father’s death he inherits a farm where Vanity rides horses and random extras from the Mad Max films show up looking to kill for the disk! The movie has at least ten ideas crammed into one film in a good way and may be the best film featuring Gene Simmons. The movie is one big fun random mess that I enjoy still 30 years later as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Stryker (DVD) – I found another post-apocalyptic film from the Philippines that Roger Corman’s production company produced that begins with the phrase “whoever controls the water controls the world.” Everyone is looking for water in the wastelands: midgets, women in shoulder pads, men in S&M gear but a man named Stryker roams the wastelands defending people against evil. When he finds a woman whose colony has an endless supply of water he must help and defend her and her colony from all who will kill for it. I give the flick 1 ½ stars but this is the first of many post-apocalyptic flicks from our buddy who gave us: Equalizer 2000, Future Hunters, Wheels of Fire, and a few others. You can see what he perfected over the series of films go along in the 80s…

 

Ebola Zombies (DVD) – It begins and ends with a bunch of political mumbo jumbo comparing zombies to soulless people of today. An Asian zombie film about a jewelry heist that goes sideways when the thieves find a scientist experimenting with the SARS and Ebola virus. Zombies everywhere and slow motion fight scenes make me wanna puke and have nightmares of the ‘Resident Evil’ sequels. I give it 0 stars.

 

Mom (DVD) – A strange and interesting werewolf film from the early 90s about Nester (Brion James) who happens to infect a news anchor’s mom when renting a room from her. The news anchor scrambles to keep his mother in check as she goes out at night to feed on humans. When her son questions why she does it and answer is, “I’m hungry and it helps my arthritis.” It’s a fun lower budgeted werewolf flick that I wouldn’t be surprised it was made two or three years before its release as it doesn’t fit the time. But the appeal of Brion James and cheesy werewolf effects make this a must watch for us movie nerds as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ice Soldiers (DVD) – Michael Ironside and Dominic Purcell are part of a secret research team looking into the mysterious events in Canadian Artic in 1962 and trying to tap the land for oil. The story goes with everyone paying attention to the Cuban missile crisis in 1962 while three soldiers in Swiss uniforms are found in the artic after a plane crash. They kill all who is there except a woman scientist who is raped. 50 years pass and now a new team is there to possibly find out answers. They get more than they bargain for when the soldiers unfreeze and begin killing again as they have a mission to complete. The film is a really cool B-movie action/thriller surprise you are not expecting if you enjoy these types of films. Plus Michael Ironside… 3 stars, enough said.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #397

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #397

 reel-poster

Reel Nightmare (Vimeo/DVD) – Chris is a filmmaker and fresh out of rehab. His filmmaker friends from Miskatonic University wanna help him finish his school film project. His friends are a bit unsure but love to work, love the mysterious location (cannot be found with GPS), and believe it’s the best thing Chris has ever come up with. Once the film students begin sound checks and setting up shots strange little things begin to happen to the crew. Including that they are let in on the fact that house was occupied three women who practiced witchcraft and were outcasts to anyone that lived nearby. Soon as the Necronomicon shows up in the Goodwin witches home the crew becomes separated to die or be killed slowly. A couple cool make-up effects, a slow-burn that pays off makes for a fun movie about witchcraft. Armand Petri’s name was connected to it; I can easily seeing this being a sequel in the Charles Band produced movie series ‘Witchhouse’. I give the low budget flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and more about the film can be found at www.facebook.com/togethermagicfilms .

 

Curse of the Wolf (DVD) – Apparently I stumbled upon an independent film that just so happens to star one of my favorite wrestlers “Blue Meanie” and I found it in my basement! Moving on the film is about a female werewolf who left her pack to do experiments on herself to help control the “change”. Of course the pack and Blue Meanie can’t let it go so they track her down, kill her friend, and try to force her to understand the way of the “Pack”. Lots of cool flesh wound effects are most hidden by filming in the dark (apparently no one owned lights on the set) and shitty werewolf masks take away from the independent werewolf film being halfway decent. Come on horror fans werewolf flicks are hard to pull off and it’s a shame the filmmaker didn’t take a little more time making this one better because it had some potential. I give this werewolf film 1 ½ stars.

 

Fist of the Vampire (DVD) – Yes Gross Movie Reviews fans I was surprised also I found another independent horror film starring the Blue Meanie! An Agent Lee goes undercover after he is a huge firefight out on the streets. Lee finds himself trying to become a part of an illegal fighting contest run by vampires. Let’s stop it there because this movie is absolutely dog shit! The effects, the story, the stupid horrible background is all SHIT! I love me some Blue Meanie but this was very hard to sit through as I give it 0 stars.

 

The Vampire Conspiracy (DVD) – Six people wake up in a room with no doors or windows and do not how they got there. Suddenly a vampire that no one believes is shows up and explains the rules of the game to them. Wanna live: make it through the maze and you the vamp’s riches, if not you are dead or become one the undead slaves of the vamp. It is a poor excuse of combining ‘Saw’ with ‘Cube’ and not making it interesting. I give the poor film 1 star.

 

The Dark (DVD) – Trying to keep track but this the fourth or fifth horror film that I have reviewed under this title. The next closest is ‘The Hollow’ I believe and there is yet another one out there I need to see… Oh, the days of being an old horror nerd or bad movie nerd according to some people? With that out of the way this film is kinda ‘Lurking Fear’ interesting as one night a young Stephen McHattie (bootleg Stephen Machet) and Brion James (R.I.P. brother) see a creature in a graveyard. Two years pass and both men are searching for the creature (maybe alien) for different reasons. The ancient creature spends all of its time tunneling under graveyards and feeds off of the fresh corpses. A lost creature film from the early 90s that is proof 90s horror wasn’t all that bad as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dr. Giggles (DVD) – A horror film I always enjoy going back too as it was left abandoned (like Nightbreed) by the company that released it. Larry Drake plays a character that was unique but hilarious in Dr. Giggles. Dr. Giggles was locked up many years ago when his father, a doctor went nuts when his wife died. Dr. Giggles waited for the day to escape and in the fall of 1992 he did to pray upon anyone who entered or came near his family home. But as Dr. Giggles go on his killing spree he shows he has a heart when he finds out the character played by Holly Marie Combs has a heart condition and wants to help her. The film itself is a clear attempt in starting a new slasher film series and an iconic character. But with pressure from the MPAA and many other groups who spoken out about horror films in the late 80s and early 90s ‘Dr. Giggles’ may have been doomed from the start. Many horror fans forget about this flick trying to set a tone for the 90s but it is a shame we never got to see it happen. Even today it is released several times on DVD and Blu-ray but no extras, no special treatment. So if you ae a big slasher film fan go find this movie and enjoy its hilarity and Larry Drake as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Steel Dawn (DVD) – Patrick Swayze is “Nomad”, a former soldier walking the wastelands and doing ‘Road House’ kicks to the face of mutants in the desert. He is looking for peace but never finds it as violence follows him. It kills his friend and almost destroys the water plantation he works for in a small farm valley among the wastelands. But with his skills and Brion James by his side of course Swayze will save the day in the future. A cheap post-apocalyptic film of sorts that lacks in story but has a couple cool fight scenes with Swayze that keeps you awake long enough to ask: “What made him decide to do this film?” I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html