Gross Movie Reviews #397
Reel Nightmare (Vimeo/DVD) – Chris is a filmmaker and fresh out of rehab. His filmmaker friends from Miskatonic University wanna help him finish his school film project. His friends are a bit unsure but love to work, love the mysterious location (cannot be found with GPS), and believe it’s the best thing Chris has ever come up with. Once the film students begin sound checks and setting up shots strange little things begin to happen to the crew. Including that they are let in on the fact that house was occupied three women who practiced witchcraft and were outcasts to anyone that lived nearby. Soon as the Necronomicon shows up in the Goodwin witches home the crew becomes separated to die or be killed slowly. A couple cool make-up effects, a slow-burn that pays off makes for a fun movie about witchcraft. Armand Petri’s name was connected to it; I can easily seeing this being a sequel in the Charles Band produced movie series ‘Witchhouse’. I give the low budget flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and more about the film can be found at www.facebook.com/togethermagicfilms .
Curse of the Wolf (DVD) – Apparently I stumbled upon an independent film that just so happens to star one of my favorite wrestlers “Blue Meanie” and I found it in my basement! Moving on the film is about a female werewolf who left her pack to do experiments on herself to help control the “change”. Of course the pack and Blue Meanie can’t let it go so they track her down, kill her friend, and try to force her to understand the way of the “Pack”. Lots of cool flesh wound effects are most hidden by filming in the dark (apparently no one owned lights on the set) and shitty werewolf masks take away from the independent werewolf film being halfway decent. Come on horror fans werewolf flicks are hard to pull off and it’s a shame the filmmaker didn’t take a little more time making this one better because it had some potential. I give this werewolf film 1 ½ stars.
Fist of the Vampire (DVD) – Yes Gross Movie Reviews fans I was surprised also I found another independent horror film starring the Blue Meanie! An Agent Lee goes undercover after he is a huge firefight out on the streets. Lee finds himself trying to become a part of an illegal fighting contest run by vampires. Let’s stop it there because this movie is absolutely dog shit! The effects, the story, the stupid horrible background is all SHIT! I love me some Blue Meanie but this was very hard to sit through as I give it 0 stars.
The Vampire Conspiracy (DVD) – Six people wake up in a room with no doors or windows and do not how they got there. Suddenly a vampire that no one believes is shows up and explains the rules of the game to them. Wanna live: make it through the maze and you the vamp’s riches, if not you are dead or become one the undead slaves of the vamp. It is a poor excuse of combining ‘Saw’ with ‘Cube’ and not making it interesting. I give the poor film 1 star.
The Dark (DVD) – Trying to keep track but this the fourth or fifth horror film that I have reviewed under this title. The next closest is ‘The Hollow’ I believe and there is yet another one out there I need to see… Oh, the days of being an old horror nerd or bad movie nerd according to some people? With that out of the way this film is kinda ‘Lurking Fear’ interesting as one night a young Stephen McHattie (bootleg Stephen Machet) and Brion James (R.I.P. brother) see a creature in a graveyard. Two years pass and both men are searching for the creature (maybe alien) for different reasons. The ancient creature spends all of its time tunneling under graveyards and feeds off of the fresh corpses. A lost creature film from the early 90s that is proof 90s horror wasn’t all that bad as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Dr. Giggles (DVD) – A horror film I always enjoy going back too as it was left abandoned (like Nightbreed) by the company that released it. Larry Drake plays a character that was unique but hilarious in Dr. Giggles. Dr. Giggles was locked up many years ago when his father, a doctor went nuts when his wife died. Dr. Giggles waited for the day to escape and in the fall of 1992 he did to pray upon anyone who entered or came near his family home. But as Dr. Giggles go on his killing spree he shows he has a heart when he finds out the character played by Holly Marie Combs has a heart condition and wants to help her. The film itself is a clear attempt in starting a new slasher film series and an iconic character. But with pressure from the MPAA and many other groups who spoken out about horror films in the late 80s and early 90s ‘Dr. Giggles’ may have been doomed from the start. Many horror fans forget about this flick trying to set a tone for the 90s but it is a shame we never got to see it happen. Even today it is released several times on DVD and Blu-ray but no extras, no special treatment. So if you ae a big slasher film fan go find this movie and enjoy its hilarity and Larry Drake as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.
Steel Dawn (DVD) – Patrick Swayze is “Nomad”, a former soldier walking the wastelands and doing ‘Road House’ kicks to the face of mutants in the desert. He is looking for peace but never finds it as violence follows him. It kills his friend and almost destroys the water plantation he works for in a small farm valley among the wastelands. But with his skills and Brion James by his side of course Swayze will save the day in the future. A cheap post-apocalyptic film of sorts that lacks in story but has a couple cool fight scenes with Swayze that keeps you awake long enough to ask: “What made him decide to do this film?” I give it 2 stars.
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