Gross Movie Reviews #311

By Tim Gross

Chronicle (DVD) – A very surprising film about three teenagers who during a party go out to investigate a crater in the woods that turns out to be a cave with something glowing. One kid is filming everything in his life recently because he believes his life sucks and this may help him through. Through this point of view is most of the movie as after the teenagers see the glowing light they appear in a backyard talking about the experience. Soon they begin to get super powers of sorts unsure what’s going on they make a pact to tell no one. But they try to harness their powers as they keep it secret but soon the teenager with the camera and stressful life goes overboard and causes chaos. The film is underrated, entertaining, and worth wasting your 90 minutes to watch it as I give it 3 stars.

Season of the Witch (DVD) – Yeah, it is that Nic Cage film that also stars Ron Perlman and Christopher Lee. Cage and Perlman’s characters are soldiers for the church for several years but decide they believe the church is starting unjust wars and leaves only to come upon a village riddled with the plague and find out it’s been cursed by a witch. The two are forced to travel and take the witch that is believed to be the problem to trial only to find out more. The film could have easily cut the budget in half and made a big deal having a premier on SyFy Channel and believe it would have been more accepting by movie fans. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Midget Zombie Takeover (DVD/YouTube) – Thank god for independent filmmakers because I love the stuff that keeps being churned out that no one knows about and this another one of those great flicks you need to go buy and support. Thanks to director/writer/producer Glen Berggotz we get a zombie film from Fort Wayne, Indiana that proves there is still room in zombie genre for another great film. Amanda and friends are having a fun party weekend when Amanda’s parents go out of town to grandma’s house. Soon while having fun they are warned by the “Crazy Ralph” neighbor that they will all die by the oncoming ‘midget zombie apocalypse’! Once under siege Amanda and friends slowly make their way into the house and not forgetting their hamburgers to barricade themselves in. They tackle such hard issues as who will go out to the car, they need potato chips, get rid of the fat guy, and who will repopulate the earth?  It was cool to see that the actors and director were on the same page of the dramatic overacting of independent zombie movies and keeping it up no matter what is going on in each scene. The one thing that disappointed me and I also thought was awesome at the same time was I believe that they only had one midget zombie used and reused in every scene that involves zombies which made me torn by this as I was hoping for an army of zombie Warwick Davis’s! If you enjoyed such classics “Holy Shit… Zombies” and “Toxic Shock Zombies”, this film is a must have for your independent collection as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. You can find out more and support the film at https://www.facebook.com/MidgetZombieTakeover .

Reel Zombies (DVD) – A surprisingly fucking awesome independent zombie flick that was filmed in 2008 that has recently found distribution with Synapse Films. This film from Michael Masters and David J. Francis is just fucking brilliant and wish I heard about this flick earlier than this. The filmmakers play themselves in the film that takes place during a zombie apocalypse! Yep, the zombies have taken over but people are still trying to live their lives around as much as possible including Mr. Masters and Mr. Francis who have decided it is time to make “Zombie Night 3” but using real zombies in their scenes. So they set out on getting together their old buddies that worked behind the scenes on the first two “Zombie Night” films. Everybody not totally sold on the idea do it anyway because it just seems like it could be a great idea or just sold to them it will be great by the two filmmakers. The movie chronicles the mishaps, zombies eating the extras, the hero zombie being stolen from the set because the caretaker doesn’t want him to die, concert scene gone wrong, and the filmmakers trying to make a masterpiece. It’s a smart look into the behind the scenes of independent productions and you can tell these guys like myself have seen a lot of behind the scene stuff, worked on independent flicks, and most likely have watched way too many to count independent films over the years. The film is not only well scripted with the best cameo appearance of Lloyd Kaufmann that he has ever done, but well casted, great effects, and will be one of the best films that hit DVD in 2014! Don’t forget the laugh your ass of deleted scenes and outtakes (40 minutes of them). You can find this brilliant flick at www.synapse-films.com .

Inhuman Resources (DVD) – Another recent Fangoria release that tackles a serial killer in the office work place. A man is accused of being a serial killer and sent to an asylum after he is found in an elevator covered in blood and with an ax. But he isn’t your normal serial killer, he is one that is killing off corrupt company CEO’s. But six people who had something to do with the trial find themselves waking up in an office chained to a table and computers and find out the serial killer is still alive. Without trying to give too much up about this horrifically bloody horror flick the man believes he was framed and wants the six to find out who actually did it? A great blood and guts kinda film that reminds me a little of “Severance”. I give the flick 3 ½ stars. Look for the Tom Savini cameo…

Pacific Rim (DVD) – Wasn’t impressed by the trailers so I waited to watch the flick and pleasantly surprised by it. “Pacific Rim” is one those check your brain at the door kinda flicks that combines elements from “Godzilla films”, “Robot Jox” from Charles and Albert Band, and maybe even a small element of “Power Rangers”.  The reason I say check your brain at the door because it’s not trying to be smart or reinvent how movies should be done but just giving as much crazy ass robot action and monsters fighting for the fate of the world. Supposedly aliens aka creatures aka Kaiju has come from what’s called the ‘breech’ at the bottom of the ocean floor and attacking coastal cities throughout the world. Soon in the future all the nations come together to try to come up with a plan to destroy these creatures and prevent them from killing anyone else. Soon they build Jaegers aka giant fucking robots aka Charles Band’s Robot Jox clones to protect the world. But after several years after the war against the creatures has started the creatures seem to become smarter and the world’s leaders want to decommission what’s left of the Jagears. But a select few lead by one man believes there is a way to close the breech and it’s a race to find a way to close it before something bigger comes through and destroy all humanity! And Ron Perlman shows up! I give the fun creature vs robot flick 3 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.