Tag Archives: Tim Gross

In episode 119 we celebrate Mary Woronov!!!

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This week Tim and Kyle have inadvertently picked 3 movies to cover that all have Mary Woronov in them… So I guess it’s our Mary Woronov triple feature show.  We talk about 1983’s epic rock and roll drug and humor filled quasi concert flick Get Crazy, Then Haley’s comet fuck shit up in Night of the Comet.  And lastly The Ramones blow up your High School in Rock and Roll High School.  Along the way we have all our usual chat so enjoy.  And side note, this episode is dropping on Friday the 13th, so we hope you all like this show in which we don’t even say a word about the aforementioned franchise.  So have some fun and Gabba Gabba Hey.

 

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Episode 119

We are back with episode 118 where we tackle two cool flicks!

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This week we hit it hard straight outta the gate with 2 awesome movies Splatter Farm, and Sam Raimi’s return to horror in Drag Me to Hell.  Also, Tim sticks up for the Sid Haig movie Creature, Do we love, or hate Shot on video horror, Hipsters and their sketchy facial hair, Tim’s one time fandom of NASCAR???  What Kyle used to do on weekends in high school, Demolition Derby, Kyle’s internet gets blown up due to Game of Thrones, and intrusive ad’s, Weird Conspiracies, Movies we have never checked out,… and never want to, How awesome Hollywood Squares was in 1983, Chupacabras… and so much more.  So check it out.

 

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EPISODE 118

Gross Movie Reviews #321

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Gross Movie Reviews #321

 

By Tim Gross

 class-of-1999-poster2

Class of 1999 (DVD) – It’s the future and schools have gone to hell… Remember the film was released in 1990. But imagine “Escape from New York” at a school and its surrounding community. Gangs have taken over everything and the school system is looking for answers in what to do and Bob Forest played by Stacey Keach is here to give an answer. He introduces the principal (Malcolm McDowell) of this high school to three new teachers played by Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, and John P. Ryan and they just happen to be androids! Androids built for the ten year war in South America and funded by the Department of Defense. Meanwhile, Cody has just been released from prison and just wants his old gang to leave him alone so he can attend class and not do hard time. Soon Cody’s curiosity gets the best of him when one of the teachers kills a student when a gun is pulled. He learns they are androids and they are beginning to do what they were built for and that is to kill in this awesome Sci-fi action/horror flick. I give this cool film 3 ½ stars.

class-of-1999-2-the-substitute-movie-poster-1993-1020209311

Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (VHS) – The film picks up right after the events of the first film but the sequel wasn’t released until 1994. A man who looks like a private investigator is looking into the events of the first film and believes Bob Forest had a ‘Plan B’ if the first three androids failed? The private investigator is actually some dude that was thrown out of the Department of Defense but doesn’t know what the android looks like but is following the dead body trail. So when a stiff, tall, blonde dude shows up at a high school that is having gang related issues and students begin to mysteriously die the investigator looks into it. The sequel isn’t nearly as fun as the first mainly because the cast and the lack of budget compared to the first film as I have to give this flick 1 ½ stars just for Nick Cassavettes being in the flick!

 

Meateaters (Full Moon Streaming) – Its Mark Polonia’s latest independent flick with Brett Piper back doing dinosaur/creature effects. A dinosaur seems to be stalking the woods for humans to eat and some young people just happen to be hanging out there. I was expecting more of a SyFy Channel/Sharknado or even a Tiffany/Deborah Gibson effort but the film just didn’t seem to hit all cylinders at all during its 70 minute run time. I still enjoy Mark Polonia and his films but I have to give this one only 1 ½ stars.

 

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson joins in on the action as Roadblock along with the original “Joe” played by Bruce Willis in a lackluster sequel with Cobra and his evil members already in the White House with a fake president controlling things and trying to kill the Joes! The first film gave me such high hopes for this series but I believe this sequel may have been the death nail?! I give the boring sequel 1 star.

 

Shakma (VHS) – Mother fucking killer ass monkey fucking doors up, now this is a bad ass movie! I am ashamed I never caught this flick when it was first originally released in 1989. Some doctors in training are playing Dungeons and Dragons in a school building overnight with Roddy McDowell as the Dungeon Master/teacher. Well they fuck up by shooting up a monkey with some shit after it was experimented on and it failed and poof “Killer Monkey on Speed”!!! AWESOME! And let’s not forget the excellent Amanda Wyss also stars. I give the flick 3 stars. So go watch Shakma fuck up some doors.

 

The Runestone (VHS) – This guy Martin brings home an ancient runestone from a coal mine in Western Pennsylvania to his place in New York City. He begins to study it and is possessed by the runestone and becomes this odd werewolf thing that is feeding on New Yorkers. And the only person to stop him is that bad ass long blonde haired villain dude from “Die Hard”! Cool creature, some blood, Western Pa is mentioned, I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.

 

The Unseen (DVD) – Here is a creepy flick from 1980 starring Barbara Bach as a news reporter and her two friends Vicki and Karen who worked with her get screwed out of their room during some town festival. Forced to look miles away for a motel and no luck they run into a chubby, sloppy, weird dude who offers them a room at his big house. Never mind the weird noises you hear in the basement and the chubby dude is just creepy especially when you learn he believes “incest is best”. The young reporter gets curious when her two friends go missing or were just pulled down the furnace vents and discovers what or who is living in the basement. A great ending to a film that may have been a little shocking at its time of release makes for a cool lesser known horror film worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

This week I found a way for Kyle to hate me!!!

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After the party crashing antics of Steven Segal last week Kyle and Tim have to rock a solo show.  This week we bring you a movie that splits us right down the middle.  Tim loves it, Kyle hates it… It’s heavy metal massacre.  And Kyle has blown the doors off the Disney vault to bring you an adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes.  Along the way we talk some football as the draft has come and gone.  Answer your questions.  And Tim gives you his opinion on Charles Band’s “sketchy” release of Tourist Trap.  So check it out.

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EPISODE 117

Episode 116 and Steven Seagal joined us… maybe!

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This week Tim and Kyle welcome Jon Cross back for a little while as he stops by to chat… And unbeknownst to everyone on the show Jon has been moonlighting as handler for the one, the only, Mr. Flappy Hands Steven Segal… And we get to chat to his highness Mr. Segal too.  We Answer all your questions and cover a really interesting vampire horror/comedy in Anthony Hickox’x SUNDOWN: The Vampire in Retreat.  And Kyle covers a flick he’s been looking for a long while now in Doctor Butcher M.D. A.K.A. Zombie Holocaust.  So get your flappy hands to downloading this episode.

 

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EPISODE 116

Gross Movie Reviews #319

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Gross Movie Reviews #319

 

By Tim Gross

 

Red State (DVD) – Kevin Smith’s project about an extremist church group that has been inbreeding and collecting guns preparing for the end. Taking it the next step they lure three teenage males through a sex website so the preacher can make a point about gay people. Things go bad when the ATF is called in after a local deputy is shot when checking out a car on the property of the extremist church group. The movie is good for a few laughs but believe John Goodman’s performance is well worth watching the film no matter what your beliefs are? I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Black Death (DVD) – Sean Bean and David Warner stars in this dark adventure that is set in 1348 during the plague in Europe. Sean Bean who is a part of the church’s army is put in charge of taking a small group of men to a village in the marshland that has been said to be untouched by the plague. They stop at a monastery to find a guide and happen to find a young man who may have lost his way with god and wants to go find his lover. Sean Bean and his group tell the young man the real reason for going and that is to bring down the village and its witch that have betrayed god but the people in the marsh are ready for the group when they arrive. It’s a very dark look at the plague but Sean Bean is perfect for this kind of a flick and that is why I give it 3 stars.

 

Vikingdom (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Dominic Purcell plays a character that has been undead for ten years and must lead a group of fighters against Thor who apparently is a redhead in the SyFy Channel world. It’s kinda blah, so I suggest wasting your time on a different piece of shit movie. I give it a ½ star.

Music Store

Music Store Massacre (DVD) – Writer/Director Gordon Price gives horror fans a no budget film about an evil guitar that keeps showing up at murder scenes. Ten years ago a reverend is found mutilating himself to death as he kills a detective in the process. Now in present time the guitar resurfaces and seems to affect all who play it. Once possessed the person or persons kill all who ‘hate’. The same detective whose partner was killed ten years ago begins to connect the dots during the odd murdering spree in town. The very political incorrect independent film has a little bit of everything for horror fans: a little gore, a cool evil guitar, a little bit of boobs, possession, a dude cutting a tattoo off his girlfriend’s butt! I give Mr. Price’s project 2 ½ out of 4 stars and thank him for giving weird horror movie fans like myself another ‘massacre’ movie. You can find out more about Gordon Price and his project at www.facebook.com/musicstoremassacre .

 

Countess Dracula (Blu-ray/DVD Combo) – Synapse Films does it again with the Hammer Collection with putting together a great package for the flick “Countess Dracula”. The film stars Ingrid Pitt and Nigel Green in a film that was influenced by a real-life Hungarian Countess. Ingrid is an aging woman who comes across something that not only stops you from aging but makes you younger by accident when she cuts one of her housemaids after being angered by her. Quickly noticing the effects Ingrid’s character goes into full killer mode with some help to kill the housemaid returning her to younger days of beauty. Soon she feels alive again and puts on an act for all in her castle to win the heart of a young man but it comes with a price: she must kill a virgin often to keep herself young. And she bathes herself in their blood! It’s a creepy story that doesn’t involve the usual Hammer staples: Vampires, Frankenstein, etc., even though it has ‘Dracula’ in the title. The film has seemed to find more fans in the recent decade or so and I would like to believe besides it showing on AMC Horrorfest it is Ingrid Pitt’s unique charm she brought to the Countess character. The combo pack has a commentary with Ingrid Pitt, author, screenwriter and director. The combo also sports a featurette called, “The Cinematic Life of Ingrid Pitt” and an audio interview with Ingrid. Long live Hammer on Synapse as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and 4 out of 4 on the combo pack. For more information on “Countess Dracula” Combo Pack go to: www.synapse-films.com .

Croaker

Croaker (DVD) – Fred Terling, an independent filmmaker who finally got to realize his dream with his “Croaker” project hopes to give film audiences something a little different or something missing from cinema these days? It all starts with four kids years ago playing down by the old river bed only to have one of them disappear in a drainage pipe. Years have passed and a couple of locals have gone missing while many believe it’s the urban legend of a monster. Also it has come to light that toxic levels are on the rise in the river. Soon with more people missing and weird goo appearing, two of the friends from years ago try to settle their differences and find out what is the real reason for all the missing people and the legend of a strange creature that may have taken them? The film is not a horror film by any stretch but plays out more like an early 80s adventure film I use to see as a youngster on HBO, Saturday mornings. Imagine urban legend monster that isn’t all about blood and guts with a splash of adventure. It is always cool to hear from filmmakers that this was their dream project when I get to watch it. Plus, you get to see me play the role of “Drunk Fisherman Zed”! I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find out more information on the film at www.croakerthemovie.com .

 

Cockneys vs. Zombies (DVD) – A construction crew unearths a crypt that just happens to imprison a zombie plague and they have awakened them. Meanwhile two brothers and their cousin put a plan together to rob a bank so they can take care of their grandfather and friends whose home for seniors has just been shut down. Soon the zombies destroy East London and the boys must fight their way back to their grandfather to rescue him. It’s a quick, lean, mean zombie film that doesn’t fuss too much with story and keeps it gory and fun all the way through as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dinosaur Project (DVD) – A UK found footage film about an expedition into the Congo of people hoping to find more than just dinosaur bones as people there have talked of strange creatures appearing since more deforestation has taken place in recent years. It’s a decent “let’s kill 90 minutes” kinda film that falls in the trap of we all have seen this film one too many times as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Episode 115 may blow your mind?

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This week we return with a vengeance and we bring two high quality flicks with us. We got Kyle’s misery with Comcast. Tim’s infinite love with Nailgun Massacre, We talk about the upcoming X-Men flick, How to properly teach you kids to swear, Kyle has seen the best movie of the year in Wolf Creek 2, What we would like to see in a Jason Voorhees T.V. series, And we talk about zombies in the British flick Doghouse.  And we review the action adventure, Indiana Jones rip off genre in Treasure of the Four Crowns.  So check it out.

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EPISODE 115

Episode 114 with Superfan Bryce!

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This week we finally get to welcome all around good dude, Cinema Wasteland buddy, super space Jesus, and Golden Girls fan BRYCE on the show.  And he brung Donnie Darko with him.  Also Tim is here to talk about Dylan Dog: Dead of Night.  We also talk about that time Bryce dressed up as plates at wasteland, Swayze why Kyle does, and does not like Darko, and SPARKLEMOTION!!! We also read your questions. Give you precise feedback on what we have been watching, and all sorts of other stuff too.  (NOTE) Kyle reviewed The Fan starring Robert DeNiro and Wesley Snipes but the mp3 vanished.  But you should give it a look because it’s great and Bob DeNiro is terrifying in it.

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EPISODE 114

Gross Movie Reviews #318

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Gross Movie Reviews #318

 

By Tim Gross

 

Snakeeater II: The Drug Buster (VHS) – Lorenzo Lamas is back as Jack aka Soldier who this time around is thrown of the police force for his excessive force against drug dealers. So he goes out on his own to take the city’s biggest drug lords down when a couple of teenagers from the dance club he oversees overdose. His sidekick who wants to clean up streets is none other than Larry B. Scott aka Lamar from the classic “Revenge of the Nerds”. Sounded like a good idea to check out the sequels since the first flick was pretty good… I was wrong. I give it 1 star.

 

Snakeeater III: His Law (VHS) – Lamas is back to reprise his role one more time in this no budget action flick that its only highlight is Bam Bam Bigelow getting electrocuted in his own shithouse! The first film was fun but two and three are just pure crap as they all but going for the quick buck in the early 90s. I give it 1 star.

 

Oldboy [remake] (OnDemand) – I am a big fan of the original chaotic classic so I was skeptical about the US version starring Josh Brolin playing the lead ‘Joe’. Joe drinks too much, hits on any woman that isn’t his wife, doesn’t care about his kid or really his job. One night during a bender he meets an Asian woman in the rain while knocking on a friend’s door. Next thing Joe knows is he is trapped in what looks to be a hotel room for 20 years. Over time Joe wants to escape and find his daughter. One night Joe is drugged and all cleaned up only to awake in a chest in the middle of nowhere with a wad of cash. Joe now decides he needs to track down everyone he has fucked over before he was kidnapped. Josh pulls the role off great and the film has some amazing action scenes but it misses the much chaotic charm the original had as it was something you couldn’t talk about or explain but witness… But with that said this remake is a fine movie also that I have to give 3 stars.

 

Ghosthouse (VHS) – Part Eye-talian, part US flick with a creepy ass clown, and wicked weird music that plays constantly when this little girl haunts an old house that people just happen to stumble upon because of their radio broadcasts. Horror fans creepy ass clown always makes the film worth one watch at least as I give it 2 stars.

 

Snitch (DVD) – Another film starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as it seems he poops out features daily? But the film is based on true events about a father who makes a deal with a government official to bring down a druglord and his money flow for the release of his son that was busted receiving drugs through the mail with intent to sell. Surprisingly, a good film for the “Rock” as he cements his star in the Hollywood action world. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Ghost Town (VHS) – A lost Charles Band produced flick from Empire Pictures in 1988 about a sheriff that gets sucked into the past by a ghostly wind and must bring down an undead villain in order to escape back to present day. If you are over the age of 30 you most likely would know the film from its cool box art that featured a skeleton cowboy on the cover. “Ghost Town” is one of the few Charles Band produced pictures that has failed to find its way onto a different format other than VHS, but you can find it on YouTube from time to time. I give the Old Empire Pictures flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (DVD) – Roger Corman produced sequel that stars Scott Valentine has the military trying to clean up the experimental dinosaurs that were mistaken for drugs or weapons when terrorists hi-jack the tractor trailer they were transported on. The dinosaurs eat the terrorists and pretty much spend their time eating mercenaries on a boat aka a warehouse at Corman’s studio in 1996. I give the boring flick 1 star.

 

Treasure of the Four Crowns (VHS) – An Italian/US/Spanish production trying to capitalize on Indiana Jones phenomenon in 1983 with a character named J.T. Stryker, on tenth of the budget, and in 3-D. The first twenty minutes of the film will simply make you shit yourself at all that is going on with Stryker. Simply put a mysterious man possibly government dude wants Stryker and his team to go steal some jewels that are in a couple crowns from a crazy cult leader named Jonas that might have the power for one being to rule the world. We got melting faces, fire shooting from hands, cult people, dogs that just appear in castle ruins and pissed, weird mutant monsters, and we have the over the top 80s 3-D that just makes this the perfect party movie. I give this flick 3 stars and this is a film that could find new life on Blu-Ray?

 

The Wolverine (DVD) – Marvel continues the X-men storyline with following Wolverine after killing Jean Grey and just wanting to be left alone. But he is seeked out by his old master in Japan because he wants to grant him one gift before dying and that is giving Logan a chance to grow old and die. It’s a decent film to move the story along but has seem to lose its luster as Marvel tries to tell the live action story of Logan who just happens to be one of comics most popular comic book characters ever. But its great popcorn entertainment for the kids as my daughter approves of the film especially when Magneto and Professor X greet Wolverine at the airport during the credits. I prefer the early X-men film but will give it 2 stars.

Heavy

Heavy Metal Massacre (VHS) – A very small unknown independent horror film shot on video in 1989 by David DeFalco aka Bobbi Young in the film. I had to watch this flick just for the mere reason of its title but the cover also looks like late 80s Lita Ford holding a chainsaw! Besides seeing the boom mic in several scenes you have Bobbi Young hanging out at the local headbanger club looking all leather and studly looking for woman with their hair tease to the ceiling and wanting drugs. Once he lured his victims to his basement he murders them including one scene that Bobbi has a rubber sledgehammer (love it)! But what make this awesomely bad film hilarious is the two bumbling detectives who cannot figure out its Bobbi Young.  If you were any kind of metal fan back in the late 80s and early 90s do yourself a favor and track this son of a bitch down! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Dead Beat Volume Two (VHS) – Thanks to “Out of Print Dan”, he tracked this down knowing I have talked about the first Post Mordum video magazine “The Dead Beat” which didn’t seem to exist or was very unknown to most horror movie fans. Volume Two is a fun and pleasant video featuring KNB guys explaining all their effects and how they work together so well, David J. Schow (always respected this dude) , Screaming Mad George talking about “The Guyver”,  Randy Cook speaks about “The Gate” and “I, Madman”, and they have a cool “Re-animator tribute. A great trip down memory lane for horror movie fans like me as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Dead Beat Volume Three (VHS) – Another great entry into this series that “Out of Print Dan” tracked down for me to review. This time around they Optic Nerve/John Vulich discuss make-up effects, Frank Darabont interview, Special set look at “The Unnamable 2”, and Clive Barker discusses “Hellraiser 1 thru 3”. Awesome stuff horror fans as I give it 4 stars also.

 

Sorority House Vampires from Hell 3-D Edition (DVD) – A boring vampire film from 2001 that was trying to capitalize on the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” craze with loads of topless women and vamps of course. The film comes off like a bad episode of the “Red Shoe Diaries” that never aired and might had a better chance in making an impact if they just went hardcore porn with this parody. I was just disappointed I had to watch it hoping it might have the charm of a Jim Wynorski film but I was wrong as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.