Roastmasterpiece Theatre: “Cannibals” and “The Killer Eye”
“Roastmasterpiece Theatre”: Episodes 1 and 2
Roastmasterpiece Theatre: “Cannibals” and “The Killer Eye”
“Roastmasterpiece Theatre”: Episodes 1 and 2
Gross Movie Reviews #458
The Happytime Murders (On Demand) – In a world where puppets and humans exist together a private eye who happens to be a puppet and a former cop gets a case from a sexy young lady puppet. The case isn’t open and shut as he likes as someone is killing all the puppets involved with a very popular kids show from the 90s. The private eye finds himself soon teamed up with his ex-partner, a human trying to solve the mystery of who is the killer? Lots of adult humor, the puppets looked great, and a cool buddy cop flick of sorts. This wasn’t as much as “Meet the Feebles” as I thought it would be so good for them. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it but worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.
Upgrade (On Demand) – This should have been the “Robocop” remake! A mechanic named Grey rebuilds a classic Trans-Am in the near future for a super-rich computer whiz. After Grey and his wife begin driving home from dropping the car off they are in a bad car accident and his wife is killed by some thugs. Grey is paralyzed, but is given the chance to try an experimental computer chip that should restore all feeling back to his limbs and help him move again. Grey agrees and has implanted into his spine and STEM the computer chip almost works immediately. But Stem also thinks and talks for itself and decides to start talking Grey and help him find his wife’s killers. Grey unsure at first slowly allows STEM to show him he is quicker, smarter, better now. Grey uses his paralyzed status to track down all involved without being detected as a suspect. Once Grey goes down this wormhole with STEM there is very cool twists in the plot that make the movie a must rewatch several times. Plus I believe the plot hits on a nerve of this not too distant future could be very real sooner than we think? This action flick is absolutely amazing as I give it 4 stars.
Hotel Artemis (On Demand) – A weirdo flick set in the not so distant future of 2028 where Jodie Foster is a manager/doctor to a hotel or safe house for criminals. Criminals pay big bucks for these certain safe houses all over the world if by some chance they are injured in some way. If you do not have a membership you are thrown out on your ass. Foster’s character is a shut-in who has lots of anxiety and hasn’t the outside world in a couple decades. But it all goes to shit when the big boss comes to be fixed up and there is an assassin there inside the hotel to take him out. This flick is one of those check your brain at the door and just enjoy the entertainment. I give the film 2 ½ stars.
You Might be the Killer (DVD) – This is one those slasher flicks that doesn’t overthink the plot and just has a lot of fun with what it is. Sam is a good dude who once a year takes time away from his business and goes off the grid for a weekend. He goes to a camp with a bunch of friends and just has wholesome camp fun. But a big problem arises when he is calling his best friend Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) because he believes a psycho killer has killed all the campers and now is stalking him? They go through all the movie clichés until Sam remembers at some point the story about a cursed mask being at a dead tree was actually real and he put the mask on. When he has the mask on he is an unstoppable killer who slaughters his friends in many brutal ways. When the mask is off he doesn’t recall anything and believes he is being stalked also. I loved watching this bloody flick that never took itself serious and delivered the goods on just being a fun horror flick to watch as I give it 3 stars.
Commando Ninja (YouTube) – This absolute 4 star gem is from the mind Ben Combes. Ben decided to kickstart his love letter of a movie to 80s action movie genre. This film combines at least 20 different action film ideas into one movie. The film begins with a flashback of 1968 Vietnam where a recon team led by John Hunter is ambushed by ninjas with Predator vision. Then the story flashes forward to 1986 where John Hunter is approached by an old Green Beret vet to let him know the evil ninjas are back and John’s daughter gets kidnapped by these evil creatures. From there it flashes back and forth between 1968 and 1986 showing where John got his ninja training and how he tracks down the evil ninjas that took his daughter. But just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous he has to time travel to the future in 1998 to get her back. Before I forget there are also dinosaurs and cyborgs in this film and the Trans-am in 1998 like the one in “Smokey in the Bandit”. This is a must own for any 80s action film lover as it leaves no stone unturned bringing its brilliant story to life. I give this project 4 stars and a front runner for one of the best films I have watched in 2019.
Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend (DVD) – The film opens of course stating that it was based on true events. Sheriff Bailey has a situation on her hands as bodies are piling up in the woods and news wants to know what is going on. So she calls in the only local Federal Bigfoot Investigator she knows to help her track it down and stop it. But a former child star Jimmy Johnson of ‘Kung-fu Kid’ has plans of his own of going into the woods and challenging Bigfoot to a fight and getting it on film. Thus the event should thrust him back into Hollywood stardom. A hilarious but bad film about a Bigfoot that growls like a poodle when attacking and I am damn glad to own it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. More info on the film can be found at www.gatorbladefilms.com .
Project: Eugenics (DVD) – A bad end of the world zombie film with not many zombies and is to be continued at the end of the film. The premise is a corporation called Eugenics wants to experiment on millions of citizens to see if a zombie vaccine works and they get all the profit. I give it 1 star.
Over the Edge (DVD) – A 1979 film that was based on a true event involving unruly teenagers and a Midwest community in the mid-70s. With the cities becoming overrun with crime and drugs, many families began to move out to rural areas where communities where were being built for people trying to escape the city life. Or what would become known eventually as the suburbs. This community of New Granada is supposed to be a wonderful place for families but a lot of their population is teenagers with nothing to do except for one rec center for entertainment. When a piece of land is no longer going to be a drive-in and bowling alley and going to have office space built on it the young people get upset. On top of that a rogue cop closes down the rec center soon things get out of control between the young people, the adults, and the cop. The film is watchable and stars a young Matt Dillon but doesn’t really have a character you really connect or root for. There are several other films of the early 80s that make this formula work better on film as I give the cautious tale of “Parents talk to your kids” 2 stars.
Den of Thieves (On Demand) – A wild action/crime flick where a crew of bank robbers try to pull off one of the biggest heists of the century and must deal with a L.A. sheriff that doesn’t always play by the rules. The crew is led by a man named Merrimen who been imprisoned for the past decade and use that time to plan a heist at the Federal Bank Reserve. Meanwhile the sheriff played by Gerard Butler knows Merrimen has something planned but always seems to be one step behind. A way better heist flick than you would ever believe so give it a chance as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation (DVD) – A wonderful documentary documenting how this rating came in existence in Hong Kong cinema and how it has changed after 1997. A good bit of Hong Kong’s popular films took advantage of this rating and produced some of the greatest over the top films the world ever seen. Its peak existence was between the years 1988-1997 and they explained what led to the rating being made and what happened to Hong Kong cinema after China took control again in 1997. Very interesting stories behind Hong Kong cinema and some of the titles I have watched or heard over the years while searching for movies in video stores. I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.
Nude Nuns with Big Guns (DVD) – The title says it all as there really isn’t much to the plot except nuns being made to make drugs for bikers who work for the Catholic Church. Then the drugs are sold everywhere. When Sister Sarah is pimped out and pumped full of drugs she is saved by a so-called witch doctor. Sister Sarah in the drugged out dreamland receives a message from god to kill all that are involved with the drug trade. So becomes the nun vigilante that cannot be stopped as she massacres everyone for what they did to her. Fun B-movie crap that has big boobs, bullets, and lots of blood as I give 2 ½ stars too.
Any comments or questions please send to firstname.lastname@example.org www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019
“Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film”
Hello fellow horror and independent film fans! Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Motherfucking YES! Well here’s your chance…
Mr. Sheets is one of the best independent filmmakers over the past 25 years and he is looking for some help or funds for more werewolves. And of course we all need more motherfucking bad ass looking werewolves in movies! So jump on this and be a part of something really cool.
Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film
Todd Sheets – This is my DREAM PROJECT! My favorite movie monsters have always been WEREWOLVES!!! And I have been so disappointed that there seem to be no true, old school, American made werewolf movies coming out these days that capture the spirit of movies like The Howling, An American Werewolf In London or Dog Soldiers. I want to make fans of those movies proud!!! My goal is to make a classic monster movie for our time!!!
Bonehill Road is a werewolf film, using all PRACTICAL EFFECTS in a truly exciting story!!!!
TODD MOTHERFUCKING SHEETS!!!
Other Ways You Can Help
Some people just can’t contribute, I understand financial harships, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help:
Lets make some Monsters come to LIFE!!!!!
Only 24 hours left!
The Adventures of Auroraman #1 and Axiom-man Team Up Novel
The Super Power of the Prairies returns in a new 64 page comic and a team up novel featuring Winnipeg’s Axiom-man!
A solid cast of top talent headlined by Horror/Sci-Fi legend Lance Henriksen have joined forces to Kickstart the new indie film, BEING. In addition to Henriksen, the cast also includes heavyweight actor Robert John Burke, best known for his lead roles in RoboCop 3 and Stephen King’s Thinner, and indie film veteran Brian Foyster.
BEING is an edgy and one-of-a-kind film that transcends the typical horror genre. The story provokes an unnerving reflection of human behavior and tragic violence that occurs when someone, or something, threatens a person’s beliefs. BEING is designed to leave you on the edge of your seat and shake the convictions of what you believe in.
BEING already has several days of shooting in the can from locations in Norwalk, CT and the Catskills in upstate NY where paranormal activity and UFO sightings are frequently reported. Production is targeted to resume in August 2015 after the completion of a Kickstarter campaign and the production team is encouraging involvement from fans of the Horror/Sci-Fi genre.
“When this film becomes a reality, it will be in large part because of Kickstarter fans” says Director Doug C. Williams, “The opportunity to endorse and be a part of the artistic film process can be one of the most rewarding and exhilarating experiences a person can have in their lifetime. The pride of joining with extremely talented artists to develop cinematic works of art is immeasurable. We have taken advantage of every resource and contributing factor available to us, which has allowed us to already shoot some amazing footage for the film and to release our promotional teaser.”
The teaser and Kickstarter campaign can be found at:
The story all takes place over one night on a farmhouse in a small town in the mountains. A mysterious, bright burst of light explodes from inside the barn, knocking out the power. The drunken gathering going on in the main house comes to an abrupt halt. There is a creature they will discover in the barn. Something they do not understand. And as always, when the beliefs of the weak and fearful are threatened, they turn on each other…
“The modern world is getting very comfortable with fear and isolation…and if isolation becomes comforting to you, there’s something very wrong with that” says Lance Henriksen. “Fear in a spiritual sense is becoming an addiction” continues Henriksen, “and I’m very happy to be a part of this crew and believe me they’re kicking butt!”
Kickstarter contributors are rewarded with memorabilia from the film and participation levels go from $5 all the way up to $10,000 with the reward of being named as an Executive Producer on the film.
Help out a cool project:
Los Angeles, California – Director Ryan Stockstad has partnered with producer Gui Pereira to make the short horror movie “Eggs.” Lynn Lowry and Duane Whitaker will star in this short, which was written by Stockstad and Jon Rosenberg. The filmmakers have launched a campaign on the crowd-funding site Kickstarter to raise $30,000 of the project’s budget. “’Eggs’ is a psychological horror movie about loneliness and madness taken to extreme consequences,” said Ryan Stockstad, founder of Crowned Prince Productions. “It’s about what can happen when otherwise good people ignore the suffering of others.” Screenwriter Jon Rosenberg adds: “what makes ‘Eggs’ truly frightening is that it could happen. And it actually does. It culminates in a bloody finale that is not too far removed from what you hear about almost every day on the evening news.” Casting on this short film has already begun. Actress Lynn Lowry will star. Lowry is a respected horror icon having appeared in over 25 horror movies, including David Cronenberg’s first feature film Shivers (1975), the George A. Romero classic The Crazies (1973), the enduring cult classic I Drink Your Blood (1970). Lowry says of her upcoming appearance in “Eggs:” “I’m certain this short film will win plenty of awards. It’s one of the most unique scripts I’ve ever read.” As well, prolific actor Duane Whitaker has also been cast. Whitaker is perhaps best known for his performance in Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction (1994) as Maynard, the menacing proprietor of the “Mason Dixon Pawn Shop.” He has also appeared in From Dusk Till Dawn 2 (1999), which he also co-wrote and also in The Devil’s Rejects (2005). Whitaker says of his appearance in Stockstad’s latest: “a project this good is rare. I can’t wait to see it made!” And, “Eggs” will begin shooting later this year. The filmmakers have chosen to raise funds on Kickstarter to better retain their creative freedom and reach a larger section of horror movie fans than might otherwise be available to them. In exchange for financial pledges, they’re offering a number of valuable rewards, including DVDs, Blu-rays, t-shirts, posters, books, autographs, invitations to private events, producer credits, and more! The official synopsis: “A lonely woman in a small town is hearing voices. With her family all either dead or gone, it isn’t long before she begins to believe that her dead son is speaking to her. This motivates her to take action for the first time in years, but without the support of people who care for her, things go very, very badly.”
”Eggs” was recently chosen by the Kickstarter staff to be listed as a Kickstarter Staff Pick. The campaign will run now through November 7th, 2014. For more information, please visit:
October 7, 2013 (Cleveland, OH) – After setting the atmosphere for Halloween enthusiasts, haunted houses, and amusement parks for the past seventeen years, Gothic Horror Halloween music composers Midnight Syndicate have decided to take their music to the stage and have launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund their own multimedia concert experience.
Entitled MIDNIGHT SYNDICATE LIVE! the Halloween horror-themed show will feature a unique blend of live Midnight Syndicate music, original films, music videos, and live theatre. The campaign runs through November 10, 2013.
“We want it to be a feast for the eyes as much as the ears,” said Gavin Goszka, “a unique show that is not only a Midnight Syndicate concert but also something that stands on its own as a great Halloween horror multimedia experience.” In order create the visual elements of the show, the band is teaming up with industry veterans like special FX legend Robert Kurtzman (FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, KNB EFX), director Gary Jones (XENA, AXE GIANT), David “House” Greathouse (FACEOFF, Mushroomhead), Jason Carter (BABYLON 5, THE DEAD MATTER), and Jason Blaszczak of Screamline Studios (Rob Zombie’s AMERICAN NIGHTMARE). “Because of the style of our music and our ties to the film, Halloween, roleplaying game, and haunted house industries we’re in the perfect position to put together a unique show that blends the best of these different worlds,” said Edward Douglas. “It’s a project almost two decades in the making. We want to bring your nightmares to life,” added Gavin Goszka.
Over the past seventeen years, Midnight Syndicate has released seventeen studio albums, including three horror movie scores and a motion picture of their own entitled, THE DEAD MATTER (2010). “We’ve always been our own label and distributor, so it’s really been the fans’ support over these past seventeen years that has allowed Midnight Syndicate to continue to grow. They really are the best fans in the world,” said Edward Douglas. “This live concert is something that our fans have been asking us to do for many years. The Kickstarter campaign is giving us the opportunity to involve them from the beginning and allowing us to take this exciting next step together.”
MIDNIGHT SYNDICATE LIVE! Kickstarter Campaign: http://kck.st/1bCv95j
Midnight Syndicate Official Website: www.MidnightSyndicate.com
THE DEAD MATTER Official Website: www.TheDeadMatter.com
For almost two decades, composers Edward Douglas and Gavin Goszka have been known as Midnight Syndicate, creating symphonic soundtracks to imaginary films that facilitate a transcendental and adventurous escape into the secret dimensions of the mind’s eye. To many of their fans, they are Gothic music pioneers brewing a signature blend of orchestral horror music and movie-style sound effects. To others, they remain the first “haunted house band” that forever changed the Halloween music genre and became a staple of the October holiday season. And some know them as the duo that teamed up with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast to produce the first official soundtrack to the legendary Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game. Their critically-acclaimed works are reminiscent of sweeping, complex masterpieces by artists such as James Horner, Danny Elfman, Black Sabbath and King Diamond and have been featured as a part of films, television shows, video games and at haunted attractions, amusement parks, and live performances worldwide.
Midnight Syndicate’s music has become integral to setting a powerful mood at top-rated haunted attractions and amusement parks as well as at costume shops, gaming and Halloween parties and Halloween-themed cruises from Siberia and Hong Kong, to Europe and the United States. The duo has released 15 studio albums since 1997, and Douglas and Goszka’s original, work also been used at Hugh Hefner’s Halloween parties, on episodes of The Barbara Walters Special and in the drive-in film THE RAGE, Universal Studio’s Horror Nights XVIII as well as by Monday Night Football and by artists Insane Clown Posse, Three Six Mafia, Twiztid and The Misfits. In 2010, Midnight Syndicate released a full-length horror film called THE DEAD MATTER, directed, scored and co-produced by Douglas alongside special FX legend Robert Kurtzman and director/producer Gary Jones.
Midnight Syndicate continues to pursue its quest to use instrumental music to tell explicit stories full of tension, twists and turns. Most recently, the band completed the score to the grindhouse thriller AXE GIANT: THE WRATH OF PAUL BUNYAN. In summer, 2013, Midnight Syndicate released the soundtrack to that film along with MONSTERS OF LEGEND a tribute to the classic Universal, Hammer and Euro horror films that gave birth to horror cinema. MONSTERS OF LEGEND has quickly become the band’s most critically-acclaimed album to date.