Category Archives: Independent film news

Gross Movie Reviews #410

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #410

 

Don’t Fuck in the Woods (DVD) – The poster looked bad ass, the premise sounded awesome, the title was perfect, and… the movie totally disappointed me. With the title you knew what was going to happen but the film introduces a slimy ass Ghoulie-looking creature that kills people having sex in the woods. This intrigued the shit out of me but as the film went along it failed to impress me of why or what this creature was there to begin with??? So some college kids head to the woods to hang with friends (Meg and Luke) to fuck and get drunk but that gets pushed to the side when they become worried that they cannot find their friends. More fucking, more violence, more cool looking creature but why is the creature there in the woods. No backstory folks! Yes tits are awesome, gore is awesome, but you added a fucking cool element: the creature, to this slasher storyline and falls limp. I believe this film could have been so much more in the right hands low budget or not and for that I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Beware the Slenderman (DVD) – A HBO documentary about an internet urban legend that affected three young teen girls’ lives. And apparently this is a thing that people are freaking out over even though it all started several years ago from an online Photoshop contest. It intrigues me and also proves to me: a) I am old and b) this younger generation is completely stupid and iPhones will be the death of us? But let’s get away from the old man talk as this interesting documentary show how two normal white bread girls went down the internet wormhole known as “The Slenderman”. Not only has it documented all the events leading up to the two girls trying to kill a friend for the Slenderman but the after effects among families, other friends, and so on. But for me being old it has several experts explaining how this can happen these days whether it’s from distant or non-existent parents to iPhones and iPads are addictive to this new generation may have no brains in their head. What doesn’t help as shown in the documentary as we become more disconnected these stories of the Slenderman are gaining steam more than the old school boogeyman, ghosts, etc., because it caters to today’s disenchanted youth. I am fucking old just typing that statement! But it is a really good and interesting documentary  that makes you want to follow what happens next with these two girls as they go through the court system convicted as adults… I give this intriguing documentary 4 stars.

 

The Purge: Election Year (DVD) – 18 years has passed since the original “Purge” happened and now a woman president candidate is making waves as she wants “The Purge” to be abolished! Now of course the inner rich government doesn’t want this to happen and the god fearing folks change some rules this time around to make it legal for government officials to be killed. All she got to do is survive the night and good chance she will be president. Intentional or not you can watch this film two ways: One, someone was really trying to make references to the current presidency in Donald Trump? Or two, just another violent thriller installment in the series just trying to keep up with the possible current trend in horror? Either way I still enjoyed the second film the most as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Beaks the Movie (VHS) – The movie of many titles (Birds of Prey or Killer Birds) or I like to call it: the movie that starred the delicious Michelle Johnson in a film trying to beat the sequel of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” out for release. The film starts off great as we witness a hawk/eagle gouging out a dude’s eyeball out and going for his jugular on a hang glider. From there Michelle Johnson plays a reporter Vanessa Cartwright who is trying to get her big break. While covering a random bird attack she learns there have been several others. She heads to a small town in Spain where birds have attacked before years ago and on their way again to waste to the town for no reason at all. Outside of the bird attacks and the slow-mo scenes the film is pretty boring. But hey it was made in 1986 so I had to watch it at least once as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Underworld: Blood Wars (DVD) – Now that I have lost track of what is actually happening in these films about werewolves vs. vampires, Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene the Death Dealer. Apparently all monsters want her ass dead! Has no clue where her daughter is and now a werewolf with hybrid blood wants to find her daughter so he can become the master werewolf and wipe out all the vampires… Oh hold on Lycan, have to use the proper name. But anyhow Brother Noopsie aka Charles Dance shows up to help welcome Selene back into the vampire coven only for all to get fucked over again. Okay I got bored. Honestly people this series of films got lost in its own mythology after the first film. The first film is great and I still watch from time to time. But since they have felt like globs of shit thrown against the wall and it doesn’t help such films “30 Days of Night” and “Twilight” has been released since the story of Selene has unfolded. Sorry Kate you are a hot piece of ass but I am bored of the Death Dealer storyline as many other horror fans are also. If you are still into skin tight leather on Kate B, this is for you as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick: Chapter 2 (DVD) – So Keenau Reeves is back the man no one wants to see as you are about to be dead. The film picks up right after the events of the first event where he is looking for the Russian that took his car. And John Wick dismantles the whole crew just on principal of getting the car back. Once done someone cashes in a chip that is a debt asking for John Wick to do a favor. This favor is because John Wick was able to leave the hitman business. Now that John Wick has been forced into doing this task he is fucked over and had enough and is done with rules. Again wasn’t overly impressed with the action film but still enjoyed it enough I wanna actually see more of this underworld as I give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

 

Suicide Squad (DVD) – DC’s mess of a film where some of Batman’s villains are gathered to be a hit squad to take down the Enchantress. She has gotten back with her brother to build some machine and tear the world a part. The government also wants an option to counterattack Superman or someone like Superman who threatens them? The movie is a mess but still an entertaining mess as they didn’t ruin Harley Quinn as much as I feared. DC take your time and stop rushing these projects out and again take a cue from what yinz are doing with the DC projects on TV. My hope for this film is that we do get a Harley Quinn and Joker film in the future as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Bye Bye Man (DVD) – A paranormal film that takes a different route in telling a story as three college kids’ move into a house off campus. But the house has a history of where a man killed several people who may have been driven mad by a thing called “The Bye Bye Man”. The man researched this urban legend and was eventually driven mad because he started to believe and it was making him seeing things. Once moved in one of the kids read something written in an end table and strange things begin to happen to him and his two friends. He researches the words and finds out it is something called “The Bye Bye Man” that will continue to kill as long you say his name. It’s a little odd but worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Debt Collector (DVD) – A throwback mobster film made on a low budget about a debt collector Teddy Greene who believes doing things the old school way. He goes around collecting debts for his boss but when no one wants to pay Teddy is beating the shit out of hookers, pimps, and so on to get the money for his boss. But Mr. Stone is not happy with Greene’s tactics all through L.A. because people may no longer borrow money? Teddy growing more and more frustrated with life, ex-wife, and his boss goes to see an old friend for advice which he disregards until the latest debt collection is stolen. With all the independent horror movies that flood the internet and streaming sites it’s always nice to see a filmmaker take a stab at a different genre and do well with it. I really enjoyed this film for the mere fact that you really feel for the Teddy Greene character even when he makes a hooker suck his dick. Independent film fans will enjoy this quality flick as I give it 3 out 4 stars.

 

Tsunambee (DVD/Vimeo) – Been a while since I have watched a film that I want to unwatch but here it is. The film doesn’t know exactly what movie it wants to be (post-apocalyptic, killer bee, or just a Christian film hidden in a bad SyFy Channel copycat?) but of course fails on all levels. Apparently, giant killer bees are found and this sets off earthquakes and mass race riots in the streets of all the cities. A group of unlikely people set themselves up in a house on the countryside to try and figure out what is their next step but a lot talk faith gets in the way. The film goes from killer bees are attacking to people questioning faith. Unless the film is a bad sequel to “The Unholy” not many horror fans are going to pay attention to this garbage called a movie. Please stay away from this feature as I give 0 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Bonejangles (DVD/Vimeo) – A low budget film where two bumbling small town cops Doug and Randy just happen to help catch a supernatural serial killer named ‘Mr. Bonejangles’. Now with the capture the serial killer needs to be transferred to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. The cops will meet the sanitarium associates hallway in a small town of Argento where oh yeah just happens to be cursed by a witch. Every April 18th a witch’s curse makes zombies attack the town and kill all they can. The cops and Mr. Bonejangles arrive late into Argento and the chaos has begun. If that wasn’t enough Randy is originally left the town when his life was ruined by his high school bully who is seen as the small town hero. The only plan Randy can come up with is trying to lure Mr. Bonejangles into the witch’s lair to kill her to break the curse and hopefully kill the supernatural serial killer too. The structure of the film is fun, the characters are likable, there is lots of violence, Reggie Bannister shows up talking about having sex once, and most of all the film doesn’t take itself too serious which adds to how delighted I was with the end product. Wasn’t expecting much but glad this horror flick surprised me as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

31 (DVD) – Well Rob Zombie used Kickstarter to get his film made. Sorry dude you are worth many millions of dollars and no way you can tell me you couldn’t pitch this to Lionsgate and get it made? But this argument is for a different time as a group of individuals driving the long highway on Halloween 1976 are kidnapped by a group of people in old school prison outfits. They wake up only to know a couple of them were killed and now they are about to become part of a random 12 hour show to three rich people who bet on killers stalking them. Now the movie is nor good or bad to me as I felt like I have watched this film or some parts of it several times over the past two years? There have been several independent horror films that have told this story so maybe I was numb to the film concept? Outside of the “Halloween” films this Rob Zombie film may have underwhelmed me as I have wanted Rob Zombie to do a different horror project. Something out of his comfort zone that may not have similar characters to his other films? But hey he can do whatever he wants I just know this movie wasn’t good or bad it just exists but I will be waiting to hear what he does next as I give this feature 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Suburban Nightmare THE ICE CREAM TRUCK coming this August!

0
Posted on by

Writer-director Megan Freels Johnston’s suburban nightmare The Ice Cream Truck will hit theaters August 18 and be released day-and-date on VOD via Uncork’d Entertainment. A new trailer and poster have been released to coincide with the release.

The provocative psychological thriller stars Deanna Russo (Being Human, Gossip Girl) as Mary, who moves back to her suburban hometown after her husband gets relocated for work.  As her family ties up loose ends back home, she moves into their new house alone. And although the move makes Mary nostalgic for her youth, there’s something very sinister about that Ice Cream Truck that patrols her suburb.

The Ice Cream Truck also stars Dana Gaier (Despicable Me 3), John Redlinger (Thirst, Banshee), Emil Johnsen (Isolerad), Hilary Barraford (Go For Sisters), Jeff Daniel Phillips (31),  and Lisa Ann Walter (War of the Worlds).

Storytelling is very much in Freels Johnston’s DNA.  The granddaughter of legendary crime writer Elmore Leonard, The Ice Cream Truck screenplay was a semi-finalist in the Circus Road Screenplay competition.

As a producer developing material for over a decade, Freels Johnston worked on adaptations of her grandfather’s work and produced Sparks, the directorial debut of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  After completing a project for the USA Network, she decided to follow her passion and write and direct her own material. Her first film, 2014’s micro budget thriller Rebound, developed a cult following on VOD, was called, “Almost David Lynchian in its strangeness” by Film Threat and Rue Morgue said, the film “(was) worth watching to the end for the unnervingly realistic twist ending.”

The Ice Cream Truck will be released in theaters and on VOD August 18.

Official Synopsis :
Mary’s husband gets relocated for work which allows her to move back to her suburban hometown. As her family ties up loose ends back home, Mary moves into their new house all alone and….waits. Yet in this idealistic world, something seems very odd. The Ice Cream Man, a symbol of youth and good times, starts killing some of her neighbors. Mary soon learns that the suburbs are scarier in more ways that she ever remembered.

 

NEW TRAILER
http://tinyurl.com/TRAILERICECREAM
or
https://youtu.be/PxEQnYpy_-U

 

NEW POSTER
http://tinyurl.com/ICECREAMPOSTER

IMAGES

http://tinyurl.com/ICECREAMIMAGES

Terror Films Announces Worldwide Release Date & Special iTunes Fan Promotion for STD Infected Thriller NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE!

0
Posted on by

LOS ANGELES, CA (July 3rd, 2017) – Terror Films has set Friday, July 7th as the worldwide release date for NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE. Fangoria has praised the film. Fangoria said of the film’s quality: “disgusting, transgressive, and absolutely bonkers, Jonathan Straiton’s, NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE will be the most jaw-dropping horror offering you’ll see all year.”  This disturbing film releases this week!

The story follows five teenage friends. They set out for the beach on their spring break vacation. Their good times are cut short when one of the group, Carrie (Toni Ann Gambale), contracts an STD at a gas station bathroom.  The friends get detoured to an isolated motel in a small town. Here, the STD turns out to be something that can’t be treated by a shot of penicillin and it begins turning those infected into the living dead.

The film has played at multiple festivals and it has won several awards. NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE showed at the Fangoria Chainsaw Awards (2017). Here, it was nominated for “Best Makeup & SFX.” The film also showed at the Phoenix International Horror. At the Sci-Fi Film Festival (2016), NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE won “Best Horror Feature.” At the HorrorHound Weekend Film Festival (2016), it won “Best Special Effects – Feature “ and it was nominated for: “Best Feature,” “Best Director” and “Best Actress.” At the Crimson Screen Horror Film Fest (2016), it won a “Jury Award,” “Best Special Effects” and “Best Actor.” The film was also nominated for: “Best Feature,” “Best Director,” “Best Produced Screenplay –Feature,” “Best Actor,” “Best Actress” and “Best Special Effects,” at this film festival. The film has been recognized across North America.

As part of Terror Film’s new Worldwide digital release model, the film will be made available across multiple digital and VOD platforms; it will also release in several countries and territories. On VOD, It will be available on: iTunes, Amazon Instant and many other platforms. Territories hosting the release include: the U.S., Canada, the Middle East, North Africa, Asia, the Caribbean, Ireland, the U.K. and Pan-Russia.

And…soon after the films July 7th release, Terror Films will be offering a special promotion, for NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE. 8 digital trading cards will be made available at eight specific Horror Blogs and websites. Each site will host one card and one exclusive clip from the film. The first 25 horror fans, that digitally gather all 8 of the trading cards and repost them on the Terror Films’ Facebook page, will receive one free download for the film on iTunes! Additional details on this special promotion will be released next week. In the meantime, film fans can checkout the official trailer and poster for NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE right here!

The film’s official trailer: https://youtu.be/uAjDWqEggL0

 

For more information on Terror Films: www.terrorfilms.net

 

And: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

Tarantino meets Cannon Films in KARATE KILL releasing this July from Dark Cuts!

0
Posted on by

Tarantino meets Cannon Films in Karate Kill, from acclaimed filmmaker Kurando Mitsutake, on Blu-ray, DVD and VOD July 18.

Featuring a “grimly relentless performance” (Japan Times) from Hayate, with solid support from Iron Fist’s David Sakurai and WWE icon Katarina Leigh Waters, Karate Kill will be available on Blu-ray and DVD – exclusive to Target, Walmart, Best Buy and Amazon – on July 18.  VOD will be day and date on iTunes, VHX, Google Play, Fandango, Vudu, Dish, Vubiquity, Comcast, Charter, Cox and Xbox.

A “must see” (Terror Weekend) action masterpiece from the director of Gun Woman and Blind Wolf comes to the U.S. When Karate master Kenji’s (Hayate) young sister (Mana Sakura) is kidnapped by a dangerous cult, and taken to the U.S. he will stop at nothing to find her. Partnered with a mysterious shot-gun toting partner, Kenji must use his mastery of Karate to dismantle the cult members one by one in spectacular and bloody fashion, until he finds his sister.

Dark Cuts releases Karate Kill July 18.

TRAILER

Direct File :
http://tinyurl.com/karatekilltrailer

 

YouTube Link
https://youtu.be/_QDe9Kj4aF4


IMAGES/POSTER
http://tinyurl.com/karate-kill-poster 

The highly-anticipated GREMLIN premieres on VOD this July from Uncork’d Entertainment!

0
Posted on by

Emmy Award winning director, Ryan Bellgardt’s (Army of Frankenstein) highly anticipated creature feature Gremlin hits VOD July 11 from Uncork’d Entertainment.

Godzilla meets The Ring in a thrilling, uniquely-scripted horror jaunt that boasts amazing computer-generated effects and from some of the best in the game.

Adam receives a mysterious box from a relative containing a creature that will kill everyone he cares about. The only way to be rid of the curse is to give the box to someone he loves. As the ominous timer on the box counts down to its end, he can only imagine the horrors that await. Does he give the box away to save his family, or unleash a monster upon humanity? He can’t destroy it. He can’t escape it. He can only give it to someone he loves…

Adam Hampton, Kristy K. Boone, Catcher Stair, Katie Burgess, Mike Waugh, and Caleb Milby star in Gremlin, available everywhere on digital 7/11.
YouTube Link
https://youtu.be/RVquCdSOtXI

IMAGES/POSTER
http://tinyurl.com/gremlinstuff

Gross Movie Reviews #407

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #407

 

The Watcher in the Woods (VHS) – So I decided to sit down and watch this nonsense from 1980 where two sisters and their mother go to buy an old house off an old lady. The old lady thinks the older daughter is her daughter Karen from years ago that disappeared and talks to the woods every once in a while. The younger sister is played by the girl who played “Lindsey” in the horror classic ‘Halloween’. So of course the rest of the movie is spent me being Tommy Doyle behind the curtain trying to scare Lindsey until the alien shows up and returns Karen! Don’t worry you are not missing much in this flick as I give it 1 star.

 

The Dorm that Dripped Blood (Blu-ray) – I watched this slasher flick for the first time ever! Not totally sure how that happened but never got to see this flick until I picked up that ultimate Synapse Blu-ray. The movie was also known as “Death Dorm” and “Pranks” during the early 80s after its 1981 release. The film’s other memorable trait besides its artwork and titles are a young Daphne Zuniga showing up for five minutes and being a part of an awesome death scene. A generic story for “slasher film” standards but during Christmas break Joanne is in charge shutting down a dorm building and boarding it up. Meanwhile a fuzzy-haired dude that looks like an extra from ‘Slap Shot’ keeps doing a peeping tom routine. So of course soon as the bodies begin to pile up in gruesome fashion the fuzzy-haired dude is to blame. An odd ending to the generic story made me a little underwhelmed by the film but still glad I bought this great edition on Blu-ray. It isn’t: My Bloody Valentine, The Burning, Curtains, maybe even The Prowler but still glad to add it to my collection as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Monsters among Men (Blu-ray) – A dramatic independent horror film about a couple named Reed and Allison. Reed takes his woman out for a walk near the woods to pop the question. As she is saying no something happens to Reed wear he wakes up in the woods next to a dead guy and another dude digging a grave. Reed escapes and wonders who, what, or where is Allison? He comes to find out she has been abducted by a vampire because she is supposedly a “pure blood source”. Meaning vamps can gain extra strength from her blood and she has no disease. So Reed plans his revenge against these mobster-like vamps and help Allison escape as he still loves her. Most independent horror films that focus on vamps usually flake out by the ten minute mark to show a ton of boobs or lesbians. This isn’t a bad thing but it is always nice to see filmmakers like Ryan Blazic take a chance and make something more? For that I thank Ryan and his crew as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more or to purchase the film at www.monstersamongmen.com .

 

Monsters: Dark Continent (Blu-ray) – A region B Blu-ray I picked up because I wanted to see the sequel but was really intrigued with the aliens/virus whatever you want to call them. Ten years later the contingent is still being fought but is now a part of everyday life especially in the Middle East. U.S. troops must not only fight off insurgents they must also shoot down the monsters as they run rampant in the dessert. Again I enjoy the concept of the “Monsters” but I think the writers and filmmakers miss the point of what this could be? The film is more about war than the monsters and makes you question are the writers and filmmaker trying to make a statement or a possible cool concept? Either way I believe this film and the original could be much more (Aliens franchise for example) but with the lack of interest in the US for the films and money needed to make the films this was most likely the last sequel we get anyway. I give the concept 3 or 3 ½ stars but the movie only 2 ½ stars.

 

Thirst (DVD) – Just a simple creature feature where troubled teens are sent to a boot/wilderness camp of sorts in the middle of the dessert for a week. Once there a metallic space alien arrives and begins feeding on the teens until they figure out a way to fight back. Think of “Ticks” with Seth Green from the early 90s on maybe even a lower budget. I may have enjoyed the simple creature flick but I do know Project mother fucking Metalbeast would have made this film that more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Presidents Day (Vimeo/DVD) – So you haven’t gotten all your holiday horror films fill yet? Well don’t regret it as another has been made that focuses on the Presidents Day weekend. I believe college kids… but not a major plot point are on their way to an old hunting cabin to celebrate Presidents Day weekend or just to get drunk. The kids are all your usual stereotypical slasher movie characters and they even point it out during the movie. They just happen to piss off the dead that just happen to be all the dead presidents or zombie versions of them? Anyhow the film is kind of slow and you feel like this is the usual independent crap that gets floated out there on a regular basis but it isn’t! Believe me give it a chance to get going as once the presidents are all up shambling or running around trying to kill the kids hilarious shit begins. Whether it is the bad puns, one of the dead presidents having sex with Ashley and then there is duel over her, or the presidents from the 1800s having a wrestling match after finding out there was a black president I absolutely couldn’t stop laughing. The independent flick doesn’t try to be hipster cool or reinvent the motion picture it understands it is a very low budget flick and uses it to its advantage. Oh there isn’t much plot but when a dead John Wilkes Booth arrives to help the kids kill Lincoln it is all so wrong but right and hilarious at the same time! Presidents Day is a fucking blast and I will debate myself on whether it will make my ‘Best of 2017’ list? But until then I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #405

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #405

 

Territory 8 (DVD) – Depending what country you rent the film from or buy it is also known as ‘District 8’. Nope, don’t think it. The flick has nothing to do with anything as this flick was released in 2013 as nuclear waste disaster film. Some corporate/government types made an accident happen to see its results. But they were not counting on it seeping into the drinking water and soil and getting a town nearby sick. Now quarantined the town waits for the cure while a couple dudes in this top secret place try to come up with the cure. The natives get restless and raid the top secret buildings looking for blood as military won’t allow anybody to leave the area. Think the 80s film ‘Warning Sign’ but much more of a uninteresting watch. I give this piece of trash a ½ star.

 

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Two (Theater) – So Marvel sets out to prove again they can make a movie that appeals to everyone and they did! The film picks right up from the first flick where the Guardians are fighting a monster for some conceded Gold people/assholes. After Rockit steals a couple batteries a whole armada comes aiming for the heads of the Guardians. With some help by a dude on a flying egg they make their escape and set down for repairs. They are greeted by Starlord’s father aka Kurt Russell and that is where the fun begins as we learn why Starlord’s father left him. After a few great 70s songs the Guardians are back at it by saving the universe from Starlord’s father as he plans on remaking all the worlds in his own way! Once again the film is freaking hilarious but I think I still enjoy the first film just that little more as I give this fun popcorn superhero flick 4 stars. There is a couple surprises as usual but also has the fans wanting more?

 

Doctor Strange (DVD) – Now this was an intriguing superhero movie that I thought could have gone south real bad. But surprise another interesting superhero movie that will have sequels. For those who don’t know, Doctor Strange is a great doctor who looks to fix the impossible in people’s bodies. But when he is in a severe accident that destroys his hands, Strange is devastated. With his last pennies he finds himself at the butt end of the world where he meets a woman, a wizard, or something that will cure him of his ailments. Strange being stubborn but a quick learner uses his photographic mind to become a powerful person who can help the world in many ways besides using his hands for surgery again? As he learns the ways to twist our world around with great power, that dude that played Hannibal on the TV show wants to let an evil presence take over the world. Compared to a lot of the recent superhero flicks, ‘Doctor Strange’ is quick but to the point. But Marvel/Disney also prove they can reach into the barrel of secondary but interesting superheroes and give us great movies but also expand the movie universe of what’s to come? I give old Doc Strange 3 stars and here is to hope of seeing a Spider-man cameo in the next flick.

Avalanche Sharks (DVD) – Ancient spirit sharks haunt a ski mountain resort when their totem is disturbed and begin feasting on all the skiers during spring break! Of course the resort wants to keep it quiet but the local sheriff and his marine biologist wife are trying to warn the young folks of being eaten. But the resort needs the bikini contest to go off without a hitch. Yeah the movie is worse than you can imagine but the casting is what kept me interested in the flick as Erika Jordan (known for her Showtime late night porn flicks) gets bitten in half. And the other is Kate Nauta playing the marine biologist aka crazy bad ass fighting chick from ‘Transporter 2’. And if it helps, this film has no relation to ‘Snow Shark: The Ancient Beast’… I give it 1 star.

 

No Escape (DVD) – The bad ass action flick that everyone forgets about but wants to watch. A film that was released in the 90s that didn’t get much support from the studio but you were glad it existed.  The year is 2022; a giant corporation runs the penial system. Ray Liotta is a Special Forces vet who killed his superior officer ten years before because of ordering him and others to bomb women and children. The event was swept under the rug so Ray’s character went and killed him. Since then Ray’s character has spent his time breaking out of all the maximum prisons. Now he is being sent to an island where no one escapes and the prisoners are watched by satellites. Once there he must decide is he with the crazy people or the prisoners who are trying to be peaceful and make the best with what they have on the island. The film is similar to Christopher Lambert’s ‘Fortress’: action packed, great cast, and not a lot of people have seen it but they know about it! I have always been a big fan of the film just for the mere reason it stars Lance Henriksen as ‘Father’. For that I give the film 4 stars and yinz need to watch this awesome flick!

Hangar 18 (DVD/YouTube) – A film that comes off as a TV movie but was actually released to theaters in 1980 about the event of aliens that crash landed on earth and were supposedly held up in Hangar 18. Darren McGavin plays the lead official for NASA and is asked to lead a team of scientists on studying the alien ship after it was forced down by a US satellite. Meanwhile Robert Vaughn plays a hard ass dude looking out for his own ass and the president’s as its election year and this incident must be covered up. So let’s blame the two astronauts. The two astronauts aren’t having anything to do with the blame or the cover up and soon start their own investigating as they are being followed by government agents. Vaughn is just trying to get through the next two weeks of the election and no one will care any longer. But when the astronauts learn of “Hangar 18”, the government pulls out all the stops to kill them and the NASA team so no info will be leaked out. In some circles this was seen as a documentary of the event and in other circles it’s all considered crap. Either way I am sure Chris Carter had this flick on his brain when he was developing ‘The X-Files’ TV show. For that I am thankful and give this this alien flick 2 ½ stars.

 

American Exorcism (DVD/Vimeo) – Damon is a dude that seems to be a fun family man but he has a demon trapped in him that he uses to help with exorcisms with his buddy who is a reverend/priest. After helping out a guy named Dale Damon comes home shouting things at his wife as he claims “it’s not her”. After an argument with his priest friend and trying to exorcise the demon from his wife, she is shot to death. Ten years pass and it’s believed the demon has possessed the body of his daughter   as the priest friend has come looking for Damon to explain they must perform an exorcism on her at midnight of her 18th birthday. Damon struggles with this as he hasn’t been in contact with her since her mother’s death but knows the exorcism needs to be done. The movie is a classic example of good idea but poor execution. Great job of building the Damon character and his background but it goes to the pooper quickly after the character’s wife dies. No matter what I am sure the younger crowd who have become somewhat obsessed recently with these types of films will seek it out as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Master of the World (DVD) – The year is 1868 and all is well in post war Pennsylvania. That is until Vincent Price decided to build an airship inside a mountain and scare the crap out of people live nearby with all the noise and his voice. Chuck Bronson shows up to investigate and gets into a hot air balloon to check it out but is shot down. Price’s character kidnaps Bronson and others so they can witness his great unstoppable airship and what it will do to the world.  While Price’s character creates havoc all over the world Bronson and others must wait for the precise time to jump ship and sabotage the voyage! I give the 1961 film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #404

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #404

 

Primal Force (DVD/YouTube) – A 1999 TV “UPN” premiere film that pits Ron Perlman versus genetically-engineered monkeys! Mr. Perlman plays a character named Brodie who had a run in with these mutations on an island outside of Mexico. Ten years ago, Brodie and some others were brought in to be guides to the rich who wanted to hunt big game, but not just any big game. Some crazy ass scientist is playing god and has someone funding him to give them bad ass animals for the hunt and the island. A few rich people get killed during the hunts and the monkeys who were experimental were supposed to die but instead became the hunters as they grew smarter and took over the island. Brodie barely escaped but is still haunted by the nightmares of the event. But Brodie must go back as he is approached to be a guide for a rescue team as a plane has crashed in the middle of this uninhabited island. From there it becomes Ron Perlman versus bad ass monkeys and it is fucking glorious stuff! Don’t walk but run to see this rather unknown gem as I give it 3 ½ stars. This film is further proof that I believe people are sucking movie ideas from my head while I sleep???

 

Deep Space (VHS/YouTube) – Horror fans this isn’t that that weird sci-fi flick that stars Charles Napier that took forever to show up on any format outside of VHS in 1989/1990… This is that Marc Singer sci-fi feature where he plays Commander Krieger and receives a distress call from some scientists. Yes folks, this is the reason I exist so I can watch it so you don’t have too! But moving on when Krieger and his cheap ass robot show up to rescue the scientists not all feel it’s an emergency? They just happen to be messing with a mutated virus which has mutated again into a cheap looking but effective alien creature that wants to fuck up humans. What is interesting about the creature is it’s made up of every disease known to man so all it has to do is touch you to kill you. That’s some fucked up cool shit for a B-movie. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blue Monkey (VHS/YouTube) – John Vernon just happens to run a hospital that just so happens to be testing a laser thingy? Well of course some old dude gets pricked by a foreign plant at his woman’s greenhouse that basically gives him a heart attack and a weird bacterial infection. The infection eventually sends the hospital into lockdown which randomly has Joe Flaherty from SCTV and his pregnant movie wife at the hospital trying to give birth. It has nothing to do with the story but come on we all love Joe! Meanwhile Steve Railsback and a doctor are trying to track down the infection that has mutated into a creature with a Nintendo gun… That is before the government just runs and burns the place to the ground because they consider it a “Class 4 Quarantine”. The 1987 film was also known as ‘The Insect’ but let’s be honest I don’t think many horror fans knew or cared about this lackluster horror film as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Hectic Knife (DVD) – Let’s be honest folks most of us are Troma fans and we know Troma pretty much has become a distributor of independent films. Hey Troma has to survive just like any other small movie company. 99% of the time the newer Troma stuff that is released is to make them money and keep them afloat and really doesn’t have anything to do with the Troma legacy? Well folks, I am to say ‘Hectic Knife’ is a different but Troma-like film that has come out of nowhere. The film is about a new knife-swinging superhero named ‘Hectic Knife’. He kills rapists, gangsters, junkies, but like the rest of us normal people he has to pay bills, needs a roommate, struggles with all the killing, and no girlfriend. But when ‘Hectic Knife’ comes into contact with a professional baddie named ‘The Piggly Doctor’ he must risk his own life to defeat this new baddie. Hilarious over-the-top violence, bad jokes, bagels, a hippie, and the vibe the film gives off while watching it is like the stuff of second generation Troma films. Let me explain: first generation is “Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘em High”, second generation is “Tromeo and Juliet and Sgt. Kabukiman”. It fits in with the 90s Troma stuff which is a good thing. The movie just has that Troma vibe that makes you wonder if Lloyd may have been on set. Troma should be more than happy adding this feature to this their library it’s one of the few flicks that understand what Troma is all about and for that I am thankful! I give this fun flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars and definitely one of the better films of 2017! Go get it now folks www.troma.com as there isn’t enough good things I can say about this independent flick.

 

Angel Heart (DVD) – Robert DeNiro is the devil and Lisa Bonet gets banged to death so bad the “Cosby Show” shunned her and her movie career. This weird voodoo/film noir flick gets 2 stars. The film keeps you interested until it ends and leaves questioning why?

 

Jocks (DVD) – Completely forgetting this Donald Gibb flick exists, shame on me. Decided to wander down “Tim Gross USA Up All Night” memory lane and rewatch this hilarious stupid sex comedy that sat on the shelf for over a year before its release. Richard Roundtree is the coach of a tennis team that is a bit unorthodox but wins a lot of matches and they are in Vegas for the championships. Boobs, booze, and Donald Gibb nailing a dude in the balls with a tennis ball to win the match are the highlights of this fun late night memory. And want a fun one it is as I give it 3 stars.

 

What’s wrong with Mom? (DVD) – Leave it to independent filmmaker Jim Roberts to make a short film about his mother being sick. When he gets a call from his brother Eric to go visit mom, he is expecting her to have the flu not have a hunger for flesh. Gory, fun, and to the point is what makes Jim Roberts one of the best and one of my favorite filmmakers out there in independent film land as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Convoy (DVD) – A late 70s film that became an early HBO 80s regular run feature is about a misunderstanding between truckers and a cop who goes over the line to bring the law down on them. When the truckers refuse to obey we got a “CONVOY” through the state of Arizona that eventually has the Rubberduck getting shot to pieces near the end of the flick. Too this day not totally sure what is the plot of the film exactly but what do want for a film that is based on a country song written in 1975 when CBs were a big thing? If you are over 35 you are old and most likely remember this nonsense that stars Kris Kristofferson, Burt Young, and Ernest Borgnine! The back story of the film sounds a hell a lot more interesting and worth taking a trip on the google machine to find out more as I give it 2 ½ stars. It’s no ‘Smokey and the Bandit’.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html