Gross Movie Reviews #650

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Salem’s Lot (Max/remake) – So apparently it was time to remake Tobe Hooper’s late 70s TV movie based on the Stephen King’s writing again… but wait first off why did this sit around as a finished film for a couple years and second did we really need an update after that TNT debacle in the early 2000s? Well, there really isn’t any good answer why this film sat around as other remakes of King’s work made it out there immediately. Now on the other thing I feel horror movie fans totally blanked out that this had been remade before but anyhow that is for another conversation. What this film did right was go back to having it set in the 70s of Jerusalem’s Lot as they gave it few little twists enough to make it different but in the same vein as the original. We get Barlow being creepy again, Ben Mears coming back to visit the small town for inspiration, but also we get a solid vampire film that comes under two hours. I was waiting for a shitshow instead you get something old horror fans like myself can show younger people and introduce them to a fun Stephen King movie adaption as I give it 3 stars.

Meth Gator (Tubi) – The movie didn’t start off wonderful as it didn’t believe in the “steadycam” mode for the first five minutes but don’t let that scare you off as Fred Olen Ray’s kid knew exactly what needed to be done. Anyway two meth makers are chased into the swamp of small town Florida to only drop their meth while being chased by cops. Of course it is eaten by a giant gator and we are off to the cliché race of the giant gator becoming an unstoppable human eating machine because it is seeking out more meth! Think ‘Jaws’ formula combined with ‘Cocaine Bear’. Hell even the mayor is a cool familiar face in Patrick Labyorteaux who plays a great dickhead mayor who could care less about the methed up gator. It is a solid horror film about a rampaging gator as I give it 3 stars. I do have to ask why the computerized gator runs like a bear, just an observation.

Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (DVD) – The legend Donald Farmer is back behind the camera with a who’s who in front for this crazy devil shark Indy horror film. Those damn crazy nuns go raising the devil shark again to have their blessing in killing everyone, meanwhile we also get a priest who is haunted by his brother’s past and knows he must stop this devil shark. While the darklord hunts for its next victim Jessa Flux just wants wine and be at a beach but not that shark beach? If we are being honest here this movie comes off as a mess compared to some of the more recent work that Farmer has done. It isn’t terrible but I can’t tell Indy fans that it’s good either as I got to give it 1 ½ stars.

Blood Mountain Massacre (Tubi) – Yes kids, I have tracked down another “massacre” title and this was a fun one. A dangerous inmate has escaped prison transport and now stalks an all-girl band on the road. To keep the film interesting the killer wears a pig mask, they introduce another possible stalker, the music is actually good, throw in a couple of scumbags that run a bar, some actual thought out cool kills on a low budget, and the movie is played for laughs and we get one hell of a messy but fun horror film. To explain how serious the movie is besides the party scene of a band member bringing out a cement bag of cocaine we get a bartender telling a story that has very quotable hilarious lines about why he wears an eye patch such as: “Her pussy blew up!” and “The bar was full of VAG shrapnel!” I literally laughed the rest of the way through the movie because of the bartender story as I give the film 3 stars.

The Legend of Crick Foot (Vimeo) – First time filmmaker Bone Jawnson takes a cue from the original ‘The Legend of Boggy Creek’ (maybe?) to come up with an urban Sasquatch legend in Hatfield, Pa. The documentary or mockumentary is about a man who is trying to gather as much info about this legend in Hatfield through stories and interviews. But mainly the man is only finding empty hot dog wrappers and a mystery of what exactly is going on. Entertaining no budget Indy take on the Boggy Creek thing that I can give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Strange Darling (On Demand) – This serial killer film definitely lived up to its title of being “strange”. The film is the tragic story of many lives taken by a serial killer that spanned a two year period in the Northwest area of the U.S. It is told in six chapters out of order but if it was told in order the movie would have been a very boring concept. The killer spirals out of control after a weird kinky meeting between a man and a woman in a hotel room. That’s about the gist of this strange film because if I say anymore I will give it away and I rather you watch it and decide if this is for you as it just came off more weird than anything to me as I give it 2 stars. The biggest issue with this film will be the rewatchablity so good luck if you feel different.

Halloween Horror Tales (DVD) – A 2018 Indy anthology directed by Jeff Kirkendall that takes place in the small town of Barnum where strange things have always happened. First story is about a killer clown where the victim kills the wrong clown. The second story is a different take on a horror hostess bit. Third story is a no budget story about a killer plant that harkens back to some of the old school 50s flicks. The fourth and final story is about a vampire but the investigator not believing in the bloodsucker was actually kind of refreshing. All the stories were interesting, solid, and Kirkendall knew to keep this at a great running time that makes me encourage Indy fans to check this Halloween fright flick out as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Addams Family: Halloween Special (YouTube) – This 1977 TV movie on NBC was actually supposed to be a pilot to bring back the show as most of the regulars showed up to be presented in color. The Addams is celebrating their favorite time of the year Halloween, with a special celebration but of course some crooks come to steal the riches from the spooky family and fail horribly. John Astin and Carolyn Jones as Gomez and Morticia waste no time falling back into their hilarious characters and keep this pseudo pilot full of laughs keeping that old school magic from the original show. If you are a fan and never seen this it’s easy to find on the YouTube and the Tubi so enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Parasite Lady (Full Moon) – A more recent Chris Alexander Full Moon feature or sorts (43 minutes) is a tasteful artsy vampire film. A female vamp is not just seeking pleasure of the flesh but companionship as she tries to understand why she was turned into a bloodsucker in the first place. Visually it looks amazing but many vampire movie fans are going to find it tough getting through the artsy plot. Not into the artsy stuff you will wanna pass but if you are like me and wasn’t happy with some Alexander’s work you may find this a little more satisfying as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Nano Shark (Tubi) – Maybe one of the surprises of 2024 is this entertaining shark film from filmmaker Brett Kelly. New tech has allowed scientists to possibly shrink a shark down to almost nothing to enter a boy’s bloodstream to seek out and kill a rare blood disease. But… you guessed it a janitor has the tiny shark and the tiny sub injected into his backside by accident. Now it’s up to the military sub team to guide the shark out of his peen hole before it goes back to its original size! Think ‘Innerspace’ with a shark on no budget. Just when you thought the shark ideas were done this hilarious flick comes along and proves there was one more shark movie related idea out there as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Devil’s Knight (Vimeo) – A one-eyed stranger comes out of the woods to tell the story of “The Lost Blades” an elite group of monster hunters. During a two hundred year war in the realm of Veroka where nations fought this allowed monsters and creatures to thrive and now they terrorize humans in this realm. King Samuel tired of this nonsense hires these so-called monster hunters to put an end to the demon’s reign over his people. This man is the last of the group still searching for this horrific creature. Fantasy film with some cool effects, full of creatures, and a few big names makes this an interesting find for movie fans who are constantly searching the streaming sites for a solid film to watch as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

All you need to know about Grossfest 2025!

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Okay Grossfest fans we got the date, the hotel, the guests, and we will have the vendors so mark your calendars!

The Mummy and The Monkey

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets: $10 for one day. $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

Contact us with questions or vendor application questions at grossfest@gmail.com

For show info: www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes.

We have one more Grossfest 2025 guest announcement for you!

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So for our next guest announcement this writer, director, actor needs no introduction at all but we are going to give this awesome person one anyway! They are no stranger to Grossfest as they are quickly becoming famous for their wonderful film work that has spanned nearly twenty years, have been our friend for quite a long time, helps other filmmakers and actors locally along the way, has introduced a lot of Indy fans to other cool young filmmakers and actors, but you would undeniable know and enjoy them for their electric personality. This award winning filmmaker is known for movies such as: Everyone Must Die, Captain Z and The Terror of Leviathan, The Meowy series, Amityville Christmas Vacation, but what has gotten all the Indy folk in a crazy frenzy are the absolutely fun trilogy of Caroushell movies! It wouldn’t be Grossfest without him… the one… the only… cannot be duplicated only imitated… STEVE F’N RUDZINSKI!  

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Another Grossfest 2025 guest announcement!

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Oh yinz are in for a treat with this next Grossfest guest announcement. This actor, producer, director’s career has spanned over four decades and may have just hit their stride as they are working more now than ever in the independent genre. Sometimes this talented soul goes under the radar of some Indy fans but when their name is mentioned or the film that first help burst them on the scene makes our eyes light up. This guest isn’t flashy but does get respect from peers when their name is mentioned. They are known for such projects as: Deep Undead, The Jacker Trilogy that first started in 1993, Amityville Thanksgiving, Sharkhouse, Turkey Day, and Bloodbath, Horrortales.666 Part 2 & 3, but the title that always gets the hardcore Indy fans’ ears to perk up would be Burglar from Hell! The Gross brothers are privileged to introduce yinz to the legendary Phil Herman!

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Another guest announcement for Grossfest 2025!

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For this next Grossfest 2025 guest announcement is a person I would call a “super talented Swiss Army Knife” of independent cinema as they have carved out a career over the past decade plus I have not seen since the likes of Debbie Rochon or Tiffany Shepis! They have done everything from acting, stunt work, producing, writing, directing, podcasting, you name it this person has done it! This person has quickly become someone all Indy filmmakers strive to have in on their project and they just got started. Would not be surprised if Hollywood comes (if they haven’t already) calling for this person sooner than later as they might be known for their excellent work in such projects: Swamp Zombies 2, The Profane Exhibit, Mrs. Claus, Halloween Horror Tales, Teacher Shortage, Return to Splatter Farm, Legend of Crick Foot, with upcoming projects such as Terrifying T-Rex, Return of the Corn Zombies, and Amityville Pool Toy Massacre. This next guest isn’t just another pretty face in the crowd her drive and body of work has proven that. Grossfest folks we are honored to introduce yinz to the one and only Mel Heflin!

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Gross Movie Reviews #649

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Tin Roof (Blu-ray) – Rising star in filmmaker Rebecca Rinehart returns to the director’s chair with her latest feature that takes place at Cedar Falls Summer Camp. The wonderful summer camp after decades of being open is about to be closed because of several accidental deaths that worries the mayor. But others who grew up going there don’t want it to close and try to come up with a solution to save the camp. The five friends who are trying to save the camp decide to go back to Cedar Falls Summer Camp so they can get digital content to get the word out about the closing. But it becomes a big problem when a terrible event occurs that causes the group to uncover a long hidden truth about the deaths. This movie felt like it never got quite going like it was missing a gear or something that makes the story pop. Saying that Rebecca is a talented filmmaker and if it makes any sense I feel she hasn’t found that right project to show off how good she is but hope she keeps trying as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Accion Mutante (4K/Blu-ray) – This rarely seen but much celebrated Spanish/French production from 1992 finally has gotten the restoration treatment from Severin and allows us to remove our U.S. bootlegs under the title ‘Mutant Action’ from our collections. This post-apocalyptic dark comedy cult hit is set in a future time where good looking people rule the world and a terrorist group of so-called mutants plan a kidnapping. Ramon and others of ‘Mutant Action’ kidnap the daughter of Orujo and during their getaway things do not go as planned including the daughter falling in love with Ramon. Ramon double crosses his team in order to collect the ransom but of course that doesn’t go as planned either as the best way to describe this cult film is: a crazy sci-fi film of chaos from beginning to end. This new release has all kind of goodies for fans to enjoy and highly recommend this film of Alex de la Iglesia to anyone that looks for something different to watch on a regular basis as I give it 4 stars.

Sting (DVD) – An American/Australian production about a space rock hitting earth landing in a dollhouse of an apartment. The rock hatches with a space spider emerging and being found by a young girl named Charlotte who moves through the duct work of the apartments. She places it in a jar, gives it the name ‘Sting’, and begins to feed it. The space spider wastes no time escaping to feed on small animals and quickly humans in order for it to grow and learn. There is a lot going on around Charlotte story wise but that doesn’t take away from we got a space spider trying to eat up everyone in this apartment building during a cold snap. Give this fun killer spider stuff 4 stars.

Immaculate (DVD) – A young woman Cecilia is heading to a convent in Italy where she was directed to go and take her vows. After a few weeks of being there and finding her place in the convent it is revealed she is prego without sin. Of course there is some strangeness surrounding the event as she cannot escape the convent but apparently the symbol of Jesus’ sacrifice will get you prego?! Along the way Cecilia uncovers there has been many failures but she is the exception as she will give birth to an unholy demon. Had a tough time getting through this one especially seeing ‘The First Omen’ before this and believe they did it better? But this one just left me feeling meh as I can only give it 2 stars.

Lisa Frankenstein (DVD) – Every once in a while we get a horror film/dark comedy that is able to grab horror fans and non-horror fans together and this was the one for 2024. Lisa is a young lady who hasn’t found love yet but does quite enjoy spending time in the local cemetery that is considered haunted. Her obsession of one grave in the cemetery is brought to life one night after a strange storm. The young man from the grave comes to visit Lisa sending her into a frenzy of helping her undead friend soon to be boyfriend as she sews human parts to him. Yes, there is a scene of Lisa sewing a dick to her undead boyfriend. As the bodies begin to pile up Lisa learns there will be a price to pay for finding love. This retro horror flick set in 1989 carries that ‘Heathers’ vibe of dark but fun horror/comedy style that plays like a Disney teen flick gone to the dark side as I give it 3 ½ stars.

K. The Butcher Shitter (YouTube/remake) – First, just a little background on watching this flick. The digital screener and trailer got the filmmaker’s YouTube channel banned so it was sent to me by download.  Second, for those who may not know this is a remake of ‘Violent Shit 2’ which talented filmmaker Alex Wesley had total consent from Andreas Schnaas to go make an updated version in his own vision as Alex and those who worked on the project were huge fans of the original series. Set in October 1992 a reporter is looking into the cruelest murders ever committed and surprised to learn Karl the Butcher had a son. Now the son is on a gory rampage in the forest to avenge his father as his mother looks on. It has all the craziness of the original you expect to please fans like nudity, cannibalism, gore, bloody boobs, a dick being cut off, and head drilling. You know everything to satisfy the small but rabid fan base of this movie series. Like it, hate it, never heard of it you got to respect this low budget gore film and its history as it’s not exactly my cup of tea but I do know ‘Violent Shit’ fans will be happy there is another entry to this long running series as I give it 3 out of 4 stars so enjoy.

Spooks Run Wild (DVD) – A lost art of a cheap comedy from 1941 where Bela Lugosi appears as a bootleg Dracula named Nardo but there is more to it than that. Some underprivileged teenagers are sent to a camp outside of town to help get them on the right path. But the same night they show up not only it is reported a monster is on the loose near the town, a strange man shows up to the old Billings estate that has sat empty for years. The boys escape under darkness from the camp and stumble into the estate after one of their buddies is shot in a graveyard nearby. From there weird hilarious things happen causing the boys to be scared of the strange man Nardo and his assistant who suddenly showed up to lurk around the estate. Think low budget Three Stooges in a strange haunted house as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Another Grossfest 2025 announcement!

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Another big announcement: For our next Grossfest announcement we will be introducing yinz to one of the hardest working people in independent cinema over the past few years. Their popularity is getting bigger by the day as they have been in such great Indy films: Cannibal Hookers, Shingles the Movie, Murdercise, Bigfoot Exorcist, along with over a dozen more projects in production. Most likely by time Grossfest rolls around in August she will have appeared in over 50 movies if not more? She combines her hard work with her next door girl charm to be one of the most in demand actresses there is… we like to introduce yinz to the awesome Jessa Flux.

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Big news for Grossfest 2025!

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Once again almost no introduction is needed after Grossfest 2024, back by popular demand we present to yinz the multi-talented tattoo artist Angel O’Connor!!! Her work speaks for itself and Grossfest fans absolutely loved her!

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235