Tag Archives: Scream

Gross Movie Reviews #641

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The First Omen (On Demand) – So they reached deep in the bag on this one… a prequel to a series that started in 1976. I would have loved to be in that pitch meeting especially since the remake failed many years ago. Anyway it is Rome, Italy 1971, where a young woman Sister Maggie who has devoted her life to the church is on her way to taking her vows. The former Father Brennan (the opening scene sets up this character) seeks out Maggie to warn her about a teenager Carlita who is in the orphanage that the church runs and Maggie will be spending her time learning at. The former Father Brennan finally convinces Maggie to meet with him and explain that there is a conspiracy within the church as people have lost faith worldwide? So in order to get people’s faith back let’s bring forth the “Antichrist”! Thus reason for Carlita to be watched carefully as the movie unfolds as she will be an unwilling participate in the birth of the Antichrist. Up until now the church’s plan has failed as there only have been female children as they need a male child. But as Sister Maggie scrambles to “look for the mark” an even darker secret is unveiled to tie all in what the grand plan actual is? To be honest, I am surprised I liked this fucking movie. Prequel to a film series that really ended in the early 80s with ‘The Final Conflict’ (no I do not count part four as that was a super absurd turd)  I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and have that same feeling after watching ‘The Thing’ prequel from like a decade ago or so? But noooooo, this movie felt like it stood on its own, it was surprisingly interesting, bloody as hell, and they tied it into the 1976 classic without it feeling forced like some prequels to other movie series that have come before it. Horror fans solid effort here so give this one a chance as I give it 3 stars.

Scream (DVD) – No, not the more recent series with “Ghostface”. This is the lesser known low budget slasher from the early 80s that probably the last time I seen it was picking up a dusty ass VH box off the bottom rack of the horror section of “Movietime” rental store in like 1988? This focuses on a group of people rafting to an abandoned mining town and setting up camp. Of course overnight someone begins to kill one by one leaving the people to point the fingers at each other? The film can be a little boring with little blood and let’s not forget the odd choice of music that makes this slasher feel at times like a lost “After School Special”. Also too for those who like me that will always have that urge to watch every 80s horror film this film this was also released under the title “The Outing” as I give it 2 stars.

Waspzilla (Waveawesome) – A new Indy film that seem only (for now) got released on another free streaming platform that stars one of the most talked about Indy actors going these days in Angela Bradford, along with Morrigan Thompson, Clint Beaver, and Matt Skinner (way to go dude). Some yahoo shoots a toxic waste barrel causing a wasp to be infected by the toxic mess and of course mutate! A deputy and a rookie (who look like extras from an early Chris Seaver film) are called into action to investigate this horrible thing in the backwoods. When the two are not busy chasing the giant wasp topless the mutated wasp is shooting freakin fire from its ass to annihilate humans. If needed more, literally a sting from this creature makes its victims implode except for the sheriff near the end of the film because you know that is needed for the plot. Yeah the film is full of plot holes, yeah the wasp is completely computerized and only has like three actions other than shooting fire from its ass, yeah wearing those pleather yellow outfits for a deputy and rookie don’t make any sense, but did you know there is a topless housecleaning scene that makes even less sense in the movie? If you are looking for your Indy horror to not make a ton of sense but make you laugh several times I suggest this flick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

The Lamp (Shudder) – This 1987 feature also known as ‘The Outing’ recently got the Blu-ray treatment and being rediscovered by horror fans on Shudder. For me this was one of those late night “Skinamax” features I always caught on late Friday or Saturday night so of course I have a soft spot for it. Forgive me for only remembering the last 30 minutes of this movie but it is with kids sneaking into a museum after hours to party horror formula. The story begins with degenerates breaking into an old woman’s house finding “the lamp” and unleashing the evil in it causing their deaths. Short time after it ends up at a museum where some kids decide to sneak in after hours to stay overnight to party. Problem is the Djinn has already done its damage and now wants to slaughter the kids before it is forced back into the lamp. A fun but uneven horror film with a cool creature, some fun kills, and a great poster that many older horror fans remember hanging up in the video stores as I give it 3 stars.

Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

Fatal Games (DVD) – Some young athletes at a special school for training for nationals and hopefully the Olympics find themselves being stalked by an unknown killer. Yeah all the athletes are very competitive and banging each other’s brains out but this killer only uses a javelin to kill their victims even it means they must use scuba gear to get a girl in a pool! This slasher is unintentionally hilarious on so many levels making it that much more entertaining. Example: Pay attention to the shower scene? It’s the usual 80s nudity the women are completely nude in the background but when they switch to the men’s showers there is dudes in jock straps getting showers… what am I missing here? Let the dong fly! Let alone that just seems weird wearing your jock strap in the shower (coming from the guy who has taken a beer in the shower with him). A fun old school slasher that is worth the revisit as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sons of Steel (Shudder) – Thank you Shudder for helping me find more Australian weirdness! This 1988 flick is in the somewhat futuristic land where a rock front man Black Alice runs things but he is also a peace activist. One night a suspicious boat comes into the Sydney harbor while Black Alice is forced into becoming an experimental hologram and released 113 years later in a world that was destroyed by nuclear war. Now Black Alice has ten hours to live which is a side effect of the hologram thingy to find a way back to his time and stop everything from going boom? Think “Repo Genetic Opera” (kind of) decades before it was made might be the best way to describe the weirdness as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Prey (DVD) – Like ‘The Outing’ the title ‘Prey’ is used so often as an alternate movie title so you usually find yourself like now describing which movie it is before even talking about the actual film. This one is another lesser known slasher that was made in 1979 but never got released until 1983 about a group of three couples going camping in the North point Mountains. Forest rangers are a little leery of people traveling there since the fires a couple decades back that killed a gypsy family living in a cave. Doesn’t take long for the group to feel someone is watching as it’s revealed late in the film it is disfigured giant of a human with an ax! It doesn’t vary from the slasher formula we all grew up with but also doesn’t overstay its welcome at 80 minutes. There is a longer version out there but I will let you research that as there are varying questions why this film took so long to be released as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #607

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Oops! You’re a Vampire (DVD) – Here comes something of a little different for the Indy vampire genre from writer/director Phil Messerer who is a vet in independent filmmaking. The film has some great musical touches and sets the tone quickly with its quirky feels of a late 90s/early 2000s SOV flick. The creative vampire film introduces the viewer to a young lady Lara who is gives us a fun look at family and how they are killing her slowly along with living in sleepy Sugarloaf, New York. But things change after one evening where Lara is introduced to a book (Illustrated Book of Vampires) and performs a ritual on her twin sister Helen in hopes of getting “the anal acne curse”. Helen next day dies of an extreme nose bleed! But the dead don’t stay dead especially when they are a vampire and thirst for blood after death. This is where the weirdness begins with Lara’s brother researching what happen with Helen, Lara panicking that her sister is still haunting her life from the grave, and mom just trying to keep the family together you will enjoy along with a little dry humor that also gives a little extra life to a genre that has seen way too many bad creations over the years. I like the running time, the set-up, some of the background visuals at the beginning, but if there is a flaw I would have liked the sound to be better? Anyway any casual independent film fan needs to do them a favor and get ahold of this entertaining flick as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. You can check out the film here:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0B6RYPSQT/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

Tales of the Third Dimension (YouTube) – A long out of print anthology from 1984 that took me a few minutes of watching before knowing that I had seen it I believe when I was 10 or 11 years old. We got a skeleton puppet as the narrator and wraparound telling jokes and setting up each story as we get three stories. The first is a vampire couple who are looking to adopt a child and get the “problem child”. Second story is set in the past a bit where two guys Charlie and Freddy get greedy and go grave robbing for riches. The third story is weird and hilarious as the grandkids are left with Grandma for Christmas week and she attempts to kill the kids but fails when Santa shows up to save the day. The anthology has its flaws but still a lot of fun and surprised there hasn’t been a special edition of this anthology out there yet as I give it 3 stars.

What Waits Below (DVD) – A 1985 adventure film that stars Lisa Blount from ‘Prince of Darkness’ fame where the army has lost its transmitter in a remote place of the world where a cave is the entrance for a whole other world. An Army consultant and some scientists find this cave and go exploring for the transmitter only to find another race of humanoids living deep in the caves who stole the transmitter. Starts off interesting but putters out quickly and the humanoids fail to have that ‘wow’ factor keeping me interesting as I have to give this film only 2 stars.

Fear Pharm (DVD) – Four young people head to the local family-owned corn maze on Halloween that has stories about an unfortunate cult-like incident 15 years ago that no one can really prove or disprove. Melanie, one of the four in the group happens to be the “10,000 person” to come through the gate and gets the chance to go through the “VIP maze”. The group makes it through in so much time they win $10,000! But is it too good to be true, the kids don’t care as it will be fun getting scared and possibly winning a whole lot of cash. Problem is the group doesn’t know if they don’t make it through they will die. Without giving too much away because I consider this film to be “the little horror film that could”. But the filmmaker and crew made great use of location, great camera work at times, and kept the story lean and fresh. This movie has no business being as good as it actually is? They took a generic horror formula that has been used several times in recent years and gave it substance! One of my favorite parts of the film is a character getting his arm cut off and his reaction to it was simple but effective. This is the type of film for horror fans that is a gem that gets talked about well after its release when it hits a streaming platform like Shudder and Tubi and makes you wonder how this didn’t get a bigger release? Anyway I say fucking enjoy kids as this was a huge surprise and have to give it 3 ½ stars.

Evil Dead Rise (On Demand) – So I waited for the lunacy to die out a bit before I tackled watching this film just like I did with the remake. Now to explain myself: don’t get me wrong I am a huge ‘Evil Dead’ fan like a lot of people but felt it was done after we got ‘Evil Dead vs. Ash’ TV series. I thought that chapter of Bruce, Sam, and Robert was over. On top of that the trailers for this film reminded me of ‘REC’ way too much. So take this however you but it’s a bit of a rant and a review? Anyway after an earthquake hole opens up in a parking garage of an apartment building that unearths an opening into an old vault below. This kid crawls down and of course finds the “book of the dead” and some albums to go with it. As soon as he plays them some Evil Dead shit happens and you have your movie. Is it bad… no. Is it memorable… no. Again just like the remake the lunatics lost their mind but once that dies out as it will just like before it is hard if not impossible to come close to what the originals did. Don’t get me wrong I am glad somebody is trying something with the series to give a new generation of horror fans a fun movie but please do not compare to what was already done because this is just a wannabe of what could have been done? No matter what hopefully this inspires the series to take off in another direction as I can only give this film 2 stars as I should of just stuck with ‘meh’ as my review.

Destiny to Order (VHS/YouTube) – Leave it to me to watch another Canadian out of print movie that you really cannot classify in any certain genre especially when you have Michael Ironside playing violin in this 1989 flick I never heard of until now. JD is an author who has just about completed another manuscript when he heads to the roof for a smoke with a friend and talks about life. A storm occurs and his computer has a system error that’s sets events in motion where all his characters from his books come to life and he is now living the story. Problem is his bad guy of the story has stolen the main disk and now wants rewrites and figures out he is now the author. The film is sloppy and weird but does have Michael Ironside and that will always make it worth a watch as I give the film 2 stars.

Scream (On Demand) – For those counting while reading this that is number five which after the last entry about a decade or so ago I thought that shit was done. But you know me and sequels so it was time to give this horror franchise a chance again and see what I was getting into? Personally I believed they told all they could through the third film and the fourth felt way too much like cash on nostalgia that just didn’t go over well at all. So it has been 25 years since the original events in Woodsboro and this sequel goes through the motions of capturing that and reintroducing old surviving characters. But unlike that last sequel this had a much different feel and introduces two sisters (Sam and Tara) who are the new main focus and likable characters. Again without giving too much away this film felt like the original three and the right respect of how to allow the new characters have fun and bring horror fans back in the fold of the movie within the movie as I give the film 3 stars.

Scream 6 (On Demand) – Another sequel was quickly pooped out into existence but yet again expanded the ‘Scream/Stab universe’ as this follows some of the things they did with part two as the cast points it out throughout this film. Now the sisters are living in New York dealing with the fallout differently of being part of the Ghost face legacy. Sam is looking after Tara because she wants to protect her at all costs but just like Gale and Sid explained the first time around “you are now a part of this”. Once again they use the Billy Loomis character from the first film as a plot point and filmmaker gave this movie a more of a violent revenge plot of sorts as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #506

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Gross Movie Reviews #506

 

Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street (Shudder) – A documentary that has been years in the making that centers on the actor Mark Patton from the second film in the series. For many years Mark was blamed by many fans for the failure of the sequel. In reality it did not fail it was just pointed out how “gay” the film was and the blame was placed on Mark Patton by the writer of the film and many critics over the years. This project and the aftermath changed his life so much he chose to walk away until he was contacted for the ‘Never Sleep Again’ documentary about the whole series and this is where Mark’s journey begins. A very interesting look into an industry that can just crush a human being into nothing but Mark has made it past it all to enjoy what he has now. This is a must watch for every Elm Street fan and horror fans in general as I give this 4 stars. For me I just always felt the film never fit the flow of the series and seemed darker than the first. But also too I wasn’t looking for the gay subplot like so many and just watching it for what it was a sequel. And for the love of Freddy ‘The Dream Child’ was just downright terrible not ‘Freddy’s Revenge’ and so glad Mark is on top of the world now.

 

Itsy Bitsy! (DVD) – A black egg is stolen from an ancient tribe and it is given to an old man for his now deceased wife. But the old man doesn’t see it that way and unwilling to trade or sacrifice to this ancient egg, things are predicted to go bad in his life soon. When the egg is broken it unleashes this huge hideous spider that slowly takes over the attic of his new neighbors or nurse and family who are going to take care of him. While things disappear, strange noises are heard, and the family is breaking a part slowly the huge spider is planning on the family being the feast it wants. Not a great spider film, it’s more of a second rate Goosebumps film than something fun as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Victim (YouTube) – A 1972 TV movie starring everybody’s sweetheart from the ‘Bewitched’ show, Elizabeth Montgomery where she plays a character named Kathryn Wainwright. Kathryn is worried about her soon-to-be divorced younger sister Suzie. So Kathryn travels to her sister’s out of the way place during a storm that has knocked out phone lines and roads. Once there Kathryn cannot find Suzie and has learned from a friend of Suzie’s the long time housekeeper was fired a while ago. As the mystery thickens the soon-to-be ex-husband shows up and the housekeeper is still lurking around. A quite fun TV mystery worth checking out if you got 70 minutes to burn as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Strange and Deadly Occurrence (YouTube) – A TV movie from 1974 that looked like it had potential starring Robert Stack and Vera Miles. They are a family with their teenage daughter move out from the big city to the mountain small town area. First six months of living there everything is just fine then all of sudden problems with the electricity; a weird ass doctor dude asking to buy the place, gopher problems, and the daughter is having some strange dreams at night. The cops have been a few times and just believe it is the rich city folk overreacting, but when the weird doctor shows up dead in the pool things get interesting… Or should have? Not to give too much away like I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks: The buildup was cool but the payoff can go suck a bag of dicks because it was lame as I give this limp entry of a TV movie 1 star.

Shellmont County Massacre (DVD) – A small town has a serial killer problem suddenly and it quickly gets out of hand when a young man in a clown mask decides to start knocking on peoples’ doors. He absolutely enjoys the horror he brings to those who open the door. The serial killer is nicknamed “The Shellmont Butcher” when the bodies keep piling up and the sheriff no longer wants to bring the killer to justice but just end his existence. The actors were good, great exploding head effect along with some fun gore scenes, but the middle of the film feels more like filler than actually having something to keep you interested throughout the film. Hack off ten minutes or so of the filler and I believe independent fans are saying a lot of great things about this film as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Battle Beyond the Stars (DVD) – Plain and simple this was Roger Corman’s answer to ‘Star Wars’… ‘The Magnificent Seven’ in outer space. A peaceful planet is threatened to be destroyed in a few days by an overlord in John Saxon. A young man is sent out into space to seek out mercenaries who would be willing to help their cause in fighting this overlord. Depending how you are looking at the ship the kid is flying it is either a huge ballsack or a pair of giant boobies! Anyhow the young man finds some characters who are more than willing to help fight Sador in a war in which Sador has never lost. The biggest threat to them all is the weapon called “Stellar Converter”, if they can stop that they can stop Sador. For 1980 and on a Corman budget the film still holds up somewhat today as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Milwaukee Murders (VHS) – A never released S.O.V. movie with big hair, so-called twenty-something actors playing high school kids, an exploding Ford Pinto, and a killer on the loose. But it isn’t just any killer it is Vanessa’s boy toy Huey who is being teased for seeing an older woman by his friends. Vanessa convinces Huey to kill for her and as proof she wants body parts. But be careful what you wish for Vanessa as it backfires and Huey comes for her also! The movie is terrible and hilarious as you can see why it was never released intentionally. Even it is bad I am glad I did get to watch it as I give it maybe… 1 star.

Massacre on Aisle 12 (DVD) – It is Christmas Eve and Dave has started his new job at the big hardware store. Dave and another employee try to move a heavy tool crib until they open it and find out along with all the store employees there is a dead body in it. Also a large sack of money! The employees are faced with a dilemma keep the money or call the cops. Or just lockdown the store and awkwardly not try to kill each other while trying to act like you don’t want the money… Money or not the bodies drop quickly and the filmmakers use the location to its fullest as I give this fun little horror comedy 3 stars.

 

Thunder (VHS) – Mark Gregory, a young Native American comes back home only to find trouble quickly with his local law officers. If that wasn’t bad enough a construction company has begun to build on the ancient cemetery that is protected by a treaty between the government and Indians many years ago. Thunder tries to do the right thing and take it to the authorities, the bank, but none of give a crap because he is a Native American. So Thunder decides to go to war with the police department and the construction company himself. The authorities try to make it out like Thunder is a crazy person but a news reporter who happens to be driving through the town stays to write a story. This might be the only way Thunder isn’t killed by the authorities? A fun Eye-talian rip-off of ‘First Blood’ starring Bo Svenson as the sheriff and it was shot in Arizona in 1983 as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Thunder 2 (VHS) – After barely escaping a few years back Thunder returns to his small town again but this time he returns as a deputy sheriff who was hired by the governor. Thunder quickly learns of a corrupt deputy that is taking advantage of young poor Native Americans with drugs. Soon Thunder finds himself framed and sent to county jail. But of course that doesn’t last long as he breaks out and goes to war again with the town and the police. The first film was a fun rip-off where the sequel seems more like a thrown together film in hopes of making a quick buck with no thought as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Blood Feast (remake/DVD) – I had no expectations going into this film because just like everyone else I felt this had been done already… ‘Blood Diner’ anyone! Hell even ‘Blood Feast 2’ made a decade or two ago? But of course that didn’t stop anyone as an American family the Ramses headed to Paris six months ago and started an American restaurant. The owner Fuad is having tough times so he picks up a second job working night shift at a museum. One morning Fuad loses his pills which are critical to his health and that night is when he witnesses Ishtar. Ishtar has fascinated Fuad so much he goes to the library and does research on the goddess. Thus the research makes Fuad believe he has found the answer to his failings in Paris and it starts with a feast that upcoming Saturday night with his family. Not only is he feeding on those he is killing but his family will also feast all in the name of Ishtar. There is doubt the film is gory as hell and Robert Rusler has that voice that just fits the role for the film but I was still not impressed overall. The film isn’t overall and maybe this is more for the newest generation of horror fans but I will always have ‘Blood Diner’ as I give this film 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

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