Gross Movie Reviews #679

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What Happens After the Massacre? (Tubi) – An independent film set in the woods of Michigan at Camp Kiwassee where ‘Red Face’ the killer slashes his way through a new set of victims every summer. This is where Henry comes in as his job is to clean up after every massacre and get the camp all ready for the kids to come back. Between Henry breaking in a new employee to help him clean and wondering out loud why ‘Red Face’ left him alone when he seen the killer slaughter his camp counselors years ago makes it one hell of a movie idea. The film attempts to answer some questions of the 80s slashers that take place at camp sites while having some fun with the concept as they also throw in some gore to keep it interesting as I got give this ‘massacre’ film 3 out of 4 stars.

Bride of the Werewolf (DVD) – Okay here was an interesting throwback monster film done on an Indie budget. Two beautiful young women go driving through the countryside only to be harassed by a couple horny locals, their car break down, and then meet a stranger at his home with an odd friend looking for help. The stranger, Saul has a secret while the one woman, Sylvia, becomes fascinated with Saul and his work as he is also just as fascinated with Sylvia’s research. Both falling in love and wanting to protect each other. Mark Polonia treats this old school classic monster subject matter with the right amount respect while Mel Heflin just kills it as Sylvia! Imagine if someone like a Roger Corman made an American Hammer film as I give this cool monster flick 3 out of 4 stars.

The Swabian Sawmill Massacre 2 (DVD) – The German crazy splatterfest has a sequel where the killer is declared dead after injecting himself with a needle. But not so fast splatterfest fans because once the needle is removed in the morgue the killer pops back to life again so he can continue his slaughter! This not so serious massacre literally has a kill scene where the killer cuts off a victim’s hand and sticks up his ass. Pretty much just another chaotic German splatterfest that follows in the bloody footsteps of the first film as I give the sequel 2 ½ stars.

Tag Team (DVD-R) – You can find this on YouTube and some other sites if you look hard enough depending on quality if that is your thing? But anyhow this was a buddy cop pilot from 1990 starring Jesse “the Body” Ventura and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper! The premise of the show was supposed to be about these two wrestlers who get screwed over so they are forced to find a new career to pay the rent. After failing at a few things they get the idea of becoming cops after saving a grocery store from being robbed. No sooner than they graduate, their first day on the job is to protect a witness from being killed by the mob for something she seen. Yes this concept is very corny and hilarious but how did this get the axe and we were shoveled some other crap we had witnessed at that time? Who knows as it may have been doomed from the beginning as wrestling still wasn’t accepted by many? No matter what this entertaining piece of TV is well worth killing an hour for as I give it 4 stars.

Amityville Backrooms (Tubi) – Welcome my friends to entry #68 from Evan Jacobs who has done a couple entries in the ‘Amityville’ series but maybe more known for his ‘Death Toilet’ series. Anyhow, this time around the Amityville home is about to be sold again. The real estate agent selling it magically finds himself transported to the house from his office. After a week he finds himself defeated as he is stuck in this realm of the house. A week later a friend at the real estate agency looks into why there was no closing on the Amityville home and then finds himself trapped at the haunted home too. Honestly once you watch the first twenty minutes, you have watched the entire 71 minute film as not much happens other than both real estate agents bitching they can’t leave. I believe this would have made a great short film to add to the series but instead you will feel like you should win a prize just for watching it to the end as I give it 1 star.

Desert Fiends (DVD) – A Shawn Phillips feature that has a lot of cameos and people getting dicks ripped off as he puts his touch on the ‘Hills Have Eyes’ formula. Friends for a 21st birthday head to the middle of the desert for a bad ass concert. Nevermind the mutant family that lives in a cave nearby believes someone has just ringed the dinner bell! From there chaos ensues literally as we have mutant family, concert in desert, not a lot of plot, with a good amount of gore. The film has its entertaining moments but feels like a total mess that had no business running as long as it did as I got to give it 1 ½ stars for all the dick ripping, biting, and hacking off.

The Final Interview (Blu-ray) – Journalist Oliver Ross is brought to a prison to do a one of a kind live interview with inmate Darius Tidman a couple hours before his execution. Tidman is this notorious Pittsburgh killer who supposedly just enjoyed his killing ways until he got caught. Oliver Ross is an over the hill journalist whose better days are behind him as he has burned many bridges in his business and it’s his last chance to hit big! For the hour of television the two go back and forth tempting each other, challenging each other in some weird game of getting the info they want. This Fred Vogel flick is timeless, brilliantly laid out, just so damn intriguing as the characters capture your attention immediately and don’t let go! How this perfect piece of cinema isn’t playing on one of those crime channels or streaming sites is beyond me as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #624

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Silent Scream (DVD) – This late 70s pseudo-slasher opens with the cops bursting into a house with dead bodies lying all about. We go back a short time before that event to meet a young lady named Scotty who has arrived at college late and has trouble finding housing as there is a shortage. After seeing some sketchy places she finds a rather remote large home that oversees the ocean that only has a teenager and his mother living there. Scotty is in luck or is she as there is a room for rent. The teenager and mother have a secret as a roommate is murdered before Scotty can settle in as the cops are all about the weird stories of this family renting out to college students? This is more on the lighter side of slashers (more suspenseful than bloody) as it felt more like a TV movie made for the times but still a fun watch. Wouldn’t be surprised things got lost through all the reshoots for the finished project over a two year period if you are a completest of slasher films it is still worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Lifechanger (DVD) – A very interesting 2018 horror flick I never heard of but after seeing a trailer for it, definitely caught my attention and felt it deserved a watch sooner than later. The film quickly opens up with a murder and a narrator voiced by a man explaining his life as he does throughout the film. This man is some kind of shape shifter, creature of unknown origin, a vampire of sorts as you be the judge? Anyway this thing explains it must move from body to body to survive. Time varies (six hours is mentioned a few times) depending on drugs it can find and the state of the body. If it is in a body too long “the rot” begins which it assumes death is not far behind. Unknowing what he is it keeps the process going because he has found love in a woman named Julia. Problem is for every form it takes it must also get rid of the leftover corpse… take my word on it this is a very interesting concept about a person looking for love that has a Lovecraftian ending of sorts. Great stuff here folks as it is hard to explain what exactly this movie is but you won’t be disappointed in watching it as I give it 3 stars.

Showdown at the Grand (On Demand) – The Grand theater is one of the longest running theaters in the southwest United States. It has been running since 1928 and has been in George’s family for quite some time as George (Terrence Howard) has made it museum also. This was the theater for exploitation flicks, horror movies, B-movies, everything outside of the norm to be cherished and thrive but its rich history of playing these films is in doubt. George is being pressured by a couple of shady characters to sell the place for future development of high priced apartments and luxury stores. But George’s saving grace might be bringing in an actor he idolizes in Claude Luc Hallyday (Dolph Lundgren) a down on his luck movie star from such films: Iraqnphobia, Moses vs. The Nazis, Blood is for the Living, Necropolis, and Cyber Cartel) who is ready to make a comeback? George’s plan works as he gets a sold out house for the Claude Luc Hallyday event but corporate greed is about to ruin George’s plan as this movie has heart and will make you smile if you are a true movie nerd. Think a splash of ‘Matinee’ mixed with a heavy dose of the Grindhouse trailers of 15 years ago with the state of affairs and pressure the few independent theaters left now have to deal with. I absolutely loved this film and most likely this will be in my “Top 5 movies of 2023” as I give this beautiful film we call art 4 stars.

The Alien Factor (DVD) – This 1977 Don Dohler film which is his first by the way was one of those VHS boxes that stuck out in all the video stores that had it for rent as a kid for me. Anyway a couple is attacked by a thing in the woods and only one of them survives. Local police believe it is a bear or bobcat at first but begrudging the backwoods folk not waiting for police form a search party and find out firsthand its more than wildlife as the bodies quickly pile up. But happily a dude from the observatory not far downs the road shows up to explain its alien zoo specimen thingys on the loose that escaped a crashed spacecraft. Can the small town folk survive the alien attack? From the beginning Don Dohler made it apparent he was gonna make anything he wanted and have fun making it as this film might be dated but a great wonderful trip down old independent film history lane as I give the movie 2 ½ stars.

Alien Factor 2: Alien Rampage (DVD) – Two decades later Mr. Dohler decides to revisit his first film and give it a sequel. This time around it’s a smaller story of two FBI agents chasing down an alien with a canister near the old small town. The alien suspect is caught as second alien shows up to put up a force field to start slaughtering all the locals. The local police and the FBI must put a stop to this quickly before it becomes a worldwide crisis. This might be the Dohler film you are looking for if as it gets to the point quickly and you will enjoy the large alien slaughter as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge (DVD) – Sadly this film feels like “I am only making this project for the cash Polonia project”. This Mark Polonia film just jumps right into it with a giant shark stalking the beach shortly after an oil rig disaster that also has the local news interest for more than a shark as thieves with a million dollar painting have disappeared nearby. You got all that? Good, because pretty much that’s the plot of the film exception of Sharkenstein showing up for no apparent reason other than “Why not?” If bored quickly by the movie and looking for a laugh pay attention about the 17 or 18 minute mark where Mark Polonia’s character with two others are getting on a yacht (aka mini-boat) for a modeling photo-shoot. There are three random people in the background that try to get closer to see what Mark Polonia is shooting and being the legendary Indy guy he is just doesn’t even try to edit it out? I give this horseshit a ½ star as it did make me laugh at the rando people not supposed to be there.

Portal to Hell!!! (YouTube) – One of the last projects Roddy Piper got to do before he checked out of his very interesting life was a short film where he plays Jack the building maintenance dude. Jack spends most of his time trying to fix things in people’s units until the power goes out. He heads to the basement to find two dudes in their underwear opening a portal to the “Old Ones”. Now it is up to Jack to keep the portal closed? A very hilarious short film worth watching as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Allegoria (DVD) – So Rob Zombie’s brother Spider One has got into the movie game with writing and directing this feature that plays like an anthology but is a story about several characters who are all connected to a demonic presence that has been brought forth into our time. An interesting but not over the top horror project that most likely makes some horror fans happy and others just saying “Pass”. The horror flick is a little more on the artsy side so don’t expect it to exactly fit what you think it is as I give it 2 stars.

Weredeer (DVD) – Hannah and Max are heading to Max’s family house that is out in the middle of nowhere. They have been in a relationship for three years and Hannah feels like it is finally time to meet Max’s family as he avoids them and what better horrible way to meet another family is during the holidays. Max dreads being back home and for good reason as his cousins begin to berate him immediately but that isn’t the worst thing that happens as his girlfriend Hannah is bitten by a deer in the woods. Not feeling good later that evening Hannah excuses herself and quickly becomes a Weredeer that picks off Max’s family one by one! I enjoyed the transformation but even at the short running time of 70 minutes the film feels a bit forced or overstretching this storyline a bit. I did also enjoyed at not one point does anyone think about calling or going to the police as I give this Indy holiday flick 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Our R.I.P. Rowdy Roddy Piper episode

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On this episode we welcome back Steve Benningfield A.K.A. Ben Grimm back to the show to celebrate 3 films of the late great Rowdy Roddy Piper. It’s a celebration of the Rowdy on over here as we check out the all-time classic John Carpenter’s They Live, Then Piper teams up with The Tonga Kid to do some Rock N’ Roll wrestling with the Faceman in BODYSLAM.  Then in a post-apocalyptic world Piper has the best sperm on the planet in HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN.  Also we discuss a variety of topics.  The best being Bigfoot going on a rape rampage on a pot farmer in Washington.   R.I.P. PIPER….

 

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episode 172

R.I.P. Mr. Roddy Piper you will be missed!

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The older I get I still can’t believe the people I know or related too or I looked up too or watched on TV die. It is still a weird concept to me. Hard to explain I just have that weird frame of mind that everyone is going to live forever so it’s always a surprise when someone dies. I mean honestly did anyone see this one coming? Hell fucking John Carpenter out lived him! It wasn’t even what a month or two ago we were all talking about the death of Dusty Rhodes and Christopher Lee. That was a surprise also and not just to me. But I think the biggest surprise about hearing the news of Roddy Piper dying is it was cardiac arrest. What? Not cancer, not partying with Ric Flair, not being on the list of wrestlers that abused steroids and died at a young age, not being attacked by a crazy wrestling fan because he pushed peoples’ buttons in the heyday of 1980s, not cancer a second time… That is just wrong. It does not seem fitting for the wrestler, turned actor, turned back to wrestler, turned great family dude. Roddy was a rare breed: he started wrestling professionally when he turned 15, didn’t finish school, went up and down the road with the likes of Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, The Road Warriors, and many others and took a beating to learn the ropes. And then someone gave him a microphone and it was history. Roddy was not only able to be considered a pioneer with his Piper’s Pit segments but was able to survive the heyday of rock and wrestling days and have an acting career. Mr. Piper was able to do things his way whether people liked it or not but the one thing he got was respect of everyone. To be able to live a hard life like he did, beat cancer twice, be known as one the biggest villains in wrestling of all time, star in an iconic John Carpenter film, and to have a good family life after wrestling is just amazing and I admire Roddy Piper for that. And for starring in the B-film “Hell Comes to Frogtown” and the 80s classic “Body Slam”… Go ahead laugh but after standing line at a convention two years to meet the ‘Rowdy One’ he proved to me why I admired him so much as a person. Mr. Piper not only signed my copy of “They Live” but I show him a copy of “Hell Comes to Frogtown”. Piper shows it to his kid, laughs hard, and starts telling a story of how bad it was on set. Piper said “he would not change anything” and admires me for just enjoying the movie for what it is and explains this is why he enjoys meeting fans. Mr. Piper where ever you are in the afterlife I hope people are thanking you for making the eye gouge famous in wrestling and people are lining up to be hit in the head with coconuts. But Rowdy Roddy Piper thank you for making an impression on a young wrestling fan in the early 80s for just being you, living the way you wanted, and enjoying every second of it. I don’t get upset too much but sorry people I shed a tear when I heard this earth would no longer have the “Rowdy One”. Wrestling and Frogtown will never be the same may you live forever in our memories sir. Rest in Peace.