Gross Movie Reviews #661

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Jurassic Exorcist (DVD) – In this Mark Polonia film a cult leader combines his evil with a dinosaur allowing it to eat everything in its devilish path after his death. Meanwhile a priest that has lost his faith in god is introduced to time travel as this allows him to go back a million years or so to exorcise this beast before it ever gets to present day! This wacked out plot taking place in a small town makes for a hilarious experience for viewers as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Grandma (Fawesome) – Twenty years ago Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast was a wonderful place to eat breakfast for the small town folk until it was revealed she been using humans for meat. People were disappearing from time to time but no one thought anything of it until that tragic day her place was investigated. Soon Grandma disappeared and part of the restaurant was torn down. Now in present day a young woman named Mallory inherits money from her dying father and she wanted to honor his memory by buying the place they both had fond memories of, “Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast”. The goal is for Mallory and a couple friends to clean the place up for business again. But clearly Grandma has returned and not too happy to share her place as she lures them one by one to their deaths. It is a crude but fun SOV shocker that captures that early 90s Indy vibe as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

George A. Romero’s Resident Evil (In Demand) – The purpose of this film is to look into why Romero’s vision of the popular video game never got made. In order to do that this film works twofold: tell the story of George A. Romero from the beginning but also the story of how Resident Evil became the horror game that changed so much in video games. This documentary dives head deep into the process of the game becoming a movie and compares the vision of Romero to Paul Anderson’s script. I quite enjoyed they brought up several times how people who are fans of the games dreaded the movie that came out (this officially ends me bitching about this series of films being an abomination on cinema) and reasons why we got what we got. The film runs a little long but I found it entertaining and very informative as it left I with only one question now… Should someone (cough, cough, Tom Savini or Greg Nicotero) go ahead and make the version of the script Romero wrote so long ago? I give this entertaining look into something I have yelled about constantly for years 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Teddiscare (Tubi) – Another hilarious project from Mark Polonia and stars Tim Hatch with some really cool opening credits for the film. A young man Duncan receives a phone call that his father is dying as he has just returned from an asylum adjusting to life outside again. His father’s dying words are “don’t return to the woods of your childhood”. Of course Duncan cannot resist investigating the woods and quickly finds his stuffed animal collection from his childhood like they had been waiting there the whole time for him. Meanwhile a partner of Duncan’s father at the Filbert Plant is overlooking how the estate is given out and wants to screw over Duncan but Duncan would like him to meet his friend Teddy? Maybe one of the more weird projects from Polonia Brothers Entertainment in the past decade with a fun performance from Tim Hatch as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Torture the Flesh (Blu-ray) – For the past year a serial killer has made a name for himself killing all over town causing the lead detective grasping for answers. Detective Frank is an over the hill cop who is a smidge away from retirement but believes he may have gotten the break he needs with a recent mother-to-be/wife and young kid being murdered by the serial killer. In comes the widow Daniel who wants answers from the frustrated detectives as he has plans to get his revenge. As the killer eludes capture the story keeps coming back to Daniel and Detective Frank until the very end. As each new murder happens they get even more grisly than the murder before in this low budget Indy feature with a nice large budget gloss as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Witch Story (DVD) – A late 80s Eye-talian flick that starts in 1932 Florida where a witch is burned to death while her kid watches. Of course the witch curses everyone there and their offspring which brings us 57 years later where a pair of siblings (brother and sister) inherits the house the witch owned. Ed and Carol see this as an opportunity for them and friends to fix the place up but immediately when they arrive the evil is awakened to kill all who have entered the home. We get a cursed house, a story that doesn’t quite make a lick of sense, one demonic blowjob, kissing cousins, a creepy priest/I am not a priest, and an ending that has you asking why the witch just wanted to hold her child in purgatory just to lure victims to the house? Point is its weird as I give the film 2 stars.

Leech (YouTube) – Here is another Indy project from David Dawson out of the state of Illinois that gave me a very pandemic vibe of making this film. Anyway we are introduce to Darklord of Loves Park who pretty much live streams everything he does: listening to music, making so-called music, eating a rat, going to the bar, asking for funds, etc. Mostly the Darklord seems to enjoy bickering with the group of people who do follow his streams until “Content Corner Mike” appears. Content Corner Mike begins uses his stream to try to get more subscribers to the Darklord because he believes the Darklord isn’t faking it and an interesting watch that’s different from most streams. But this decision leads to an unwanted feud and eventual violence in a very curious but realistic way that easily can be seen happening in real life. This no budget film can feel very rough around the edges but pay attention to the heart of this film because I think this had a great concept as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Teddy Told Me To (Tubi) – A film that is directed by Tom Devlin who is known more for his special make-up effects than directing has been dipping his toes into the genre of being a director. The plot of this flick takes place at a closed haunted attraction that a cute couple: Zoe and Danny buy up to reopen. It was originally closed because a young man wearing a bear mask lost his shit inside the attraction and killed people. Now reopening the man with the bear mask has returned to slaughter the haunters and all who enter. Not a huge fan of the ending but a lot of bodies pile up in this simple slasher that it keeps it bloody entertaining as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Getting to know your Grossfest 2025 guest!

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Besides us coming back to the Comfort Inn as it’s officially the home of Grossfest. Same time every year but a third time is a charm to welcome this talented duo as a guest of Grossfest 2025 and believe fans of our little convention yinz will absolutely love them let us introduce yinz to The Mummy and the Monkey! Check out their work: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMummyAndTheMonkey

Its not just their work with B-movies, their love for horror classics, or their passion for Indy films… This wonderful duo is the link between the past horror hosts to what future horror hosts should inspire to be! Their passion is unmatched and absolutely enjoy what they do as I think they will enjoy the Grossfest 2025 atmosphere.

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for vendor application and how to pay.

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR GROSSFEST 2025 GUEST!

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Another friend of Mark Polonia is kindly going to be a guest of ours at Grossfest 2025 is a multi-talented fellow that some of yinz may know him from Return to Splatter Farm, Camp Blood, Motorboat, and Cocaine Werewolf as this young man continues to put his own stamp on independent cinema. We are absolutely delighted to have this next guest with us August 1st & 2nd, 2025 in Pittsburgh as we have the pleasure of introducing yinz to Tim Hatch! Yinz need to check out his work: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2374888/…

dav

(Honestly, I can see why he has made his way into several Polonia Brothers Entertainment movies as I have quite enjoyed his talent recently in Camp Blood: Clown Shark, Once Upon a Time in Amityville, Teddiscare, but the one he had me laughing the whole movie is Mummy Shark!)

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for vendor application and how to pay.

Getting to know your Grossfest 2025 guest!

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Hey Grossfest fans we are not done yet as I forgot to mention Mr. Mark Polonia is bringing some friends for our two day event. This person is no stranger to many of you as this person is talented and fun to watch as they are an actor, director, a producer in such films: Empire of the Apes, Amityville Death House, Bigfoot vs. Zombies, Land Shark, Amityville Island, Sharkula, among many others. This person has become a staple in several recent Polonia Brothers productions as he cannot be mistaken who he is soon as you see him hit the screen so let’s give a nice warm welcome to our next guest for Grossfest 2025… Jeff Kirkendall!

Go check out his work: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2386198/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_0_nm_2_in_0_q_Jeff%2520Kirkendall

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for  vendor application and how to pay.  

Getting to know your Grossfest 2025 guests

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This person is a name in independent film that spans over five decades! Literally he and his brother are the godfathers of SOV. This next guest is someone I literally wrote down first next to Jon McBride’s name of people we would like to bring in as guests in 2018 for Grossfest! Never thought his would happen as this person has directed over 90 films: Splatter Farm, Feeders, Razorteeth, House Squatch, Amityville in Space, too many to list… This person is literally the man, the myth, the legend of independent cinema and it gave me great delight to announce his name last week during Grossfest to say he will be joining us for Grossfest 2025. Let me introduce yinz to the one the only Mark Polonia!

Go check out Mark’s work: [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0689789/…]

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: [https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6]

and

you can contact Grossfest at grossfest@gmail.com if interested in being a vendor.

Gross Movie Reviews #660

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Supercock (Blu-ray) – An odd 70s film literally about “cockfighting”! What is actually really cool is watch the movie with the commentary done by Fred Olen Ray as he has never watched the film until he did this commentary as he has loads of fun stories to tell about all who were involved in this project. The plot is about an American cowboy taking his rooster to the Philippines for the first Olympic Cockfighting Championship. It is nowhere near a horror film as much as an adventure/comedy of sorts as once the prized rooster is there it gets kidnapped. Then there is a whole thing of misadventures of getting the bird to the fights in time to prove this cowboy knew exactly what he was doing. The movie was okay but the wonderful commentary performed by Fred Olen Ray help me learn a lot than about this project and about filmmaker Ross Hagen who was a part of this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (On Demand) – Surprised there was a sequel to that poor excuse for a movie adaption a year or so ago but more of these adaptions are coming so be prepared. This film goes completely out of its way while also sticking with the story of Pooh and Christopher Robin to give a much better horror film that makes you wish the first film never existed. The sequel picks up some time after the first film where Christopher Robin is pretty much declared a murderer by most in the town of Ashtown. Things have settled some but there is still people hunting down the potential Pooh and gang for execution. But Pooh and friends have had enough running and decide it is time to take out their frustrations on Ashtown and leave a bloody trail through the town looking for Christopher. More goes on with all the characters that actually give this a much interesting and fun backstory, But I say no more as that would be unfair to horror fans who haven’t seen this monster flick as I give it 3 stars.

Dressing Up Halloween: The Story of Ben Cooper, Inc. (On Demand) – This is a documentary that most likely will hit all people not just horror movie fans over the age of 35 of a man who changed a holiday with his company’s costume designs. The original business was in Brooklyn, New York where people were proud to work there and happy to see their work every Halloween. The doc goes through all the characters, licensing of them, how these famous costumes were made, etc. along with interviews of people who worked in the Ben Cooper warehouse. It’s fun as they go through all the boxes, the art, and the famous costumes a lot of us wore as kids for Halloween as I give it 3 stars.

The Icing (DVD) – One of the first films from Derek Braasch in 2014 is a no budget crime thriller which I wasn’t expecting. But to give credit where it’s due as the filmmaker gives us a well-executed late 90s mob feel kind of film that may run a little too long but in the end a definite solid watch. It begins with an ex-cop, Fin Scott, being offered $100,000 for a hit on a local Senator. Senator Bellows is taken out, Finn soon finds out the very beautiful younger wife is the person that ordered it as things get very messy from there. The characters are believable, I enjoyed what was pulled off to make this project happen so kudos to all involved as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Maxxxine (Max) – So the third film in the trilogy (X, Pearl), in which I am not a huge fan of Mia Goth to begin with but since it’s a horror film I was curious to see how Ti West was gonna end this saga? It is now 1985; Maxine is a popular porn star who would like to make it in the mainstream acting world. The background is set with “The Night Stalker” murders taking place at the same time as everything comes to a head of Maxine’s career. So when a friend or two is murdered, detectives and a sleazy private investigator begin to follow her for different reasons as Maxine’s past has caught up to her finally. I can understand why horror fans enjoyed this film a lot but in the end it was not for me as I just felt I didn’t need this story of Maxine? Maybe it is because I am hung up on ‘X’ should have been a stand-alone film… don’t know. The picture is another piece of solid 80s nostalgia and I cannot complain with that as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Night of Terror (YouTube) – Here is an 18 minute horror short from Jim Campbell that sets the tone immediately as his picture takes place “Friday the 13th in October”. This is the type of picture I like seeing once in a while as it is being told through music, sounds, and actions not dialogue holding on to that old school classic silent film vibe. The story follows a man home alone that evening that is haunted by something ghastly in his dreams and his reality. Thought the film was quite entertaining, loved how it was shot and just loved the atmosphere it was going for as I give Mr. Campbell’s short film 3 out of 4 stars.

The Emasculator (Blu-ray) – This newer SOV flick centers around a young woman named Cindy and her father who haven’t had the best relationship since the passing of Cindy’s mother. After another argument Cindy heads out on a date with a guy who has a whole other definition of a date as Cindy sadly learns the hard way. Cindy is raped and filmed to her father’s dismay in a hotel room and instead of listening to Cindy’s wishes of letting it go he takes upon himself for revenge with a tool used for castrating cattle. He doesn’t just want revenge but to mutilate these sick men. This SOV flick is a fun ride through sleaze, revenge, a love for a daughter, which the film has a sick twist that may leave you disliking all characters involved as it gave off Nailgun Massacre vibes to me. Just for that folks I got give this picture 3 ½ out of 4 stars.   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!