Gross Movie Reviews #699

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Amityville Corndog (YouTube) – So entry #76 became a thing recently as this short film from filmmaker Blaize Tudor stars some talented folk in Mel Heflin and Ralph Rey along with Blaize himself. A group of friends have a get together one weekend and of course a friend has brought the Ouija board to play! Using the board of death the group brings forth the spirit of a killer corndog as one by one they become victims of said corndog. Yes it is completely absurd and I love it as this short film into the series gets 3 out of 4 stars.

Project Genesis (Tubi) – Holy ballsacks people this movie goes all over the place for well over two hours. So this dude that isn’t from around this village, an outsider in 1992 disrupts a ritual overnight that allows dead bodies to fall from the sky. Fast forward to 2023, Stella the small child who went looking for her outsider daddy has a daughter of her own with nowhere to live. As her mother has fallen ill Stella heads back home as she is asked to go looking for her missing father who screwed shit up? With an old radio Stella is able to contact her father once a year according to her mother as once in contact that’s when shit gets completely confusing and wild. There is time travel, zombies, dinosaurs destroying cities, portals, these weird rings, dimension jumping all because the C.I.A. wanted the tech of course in this crazy ass and good luck Thai film I can only give 2 stars too.

Fatal Desires (Tubi) – Wow, Sean Donohue, a super talented filmmaker out of Florida digs in the bag of throwbacks (when the Skinamax existed) to pull out a sexually charge thriller we haven’t seen since the early 90s. A very beautiful couple is having sexual issues as they agree to employ a high end therapist to help them with their troubles. The therapist turns the tables on them as she tries to earn their trust and attempts to seduce both for her own devious reasons. In the end as the couple is full of sex and regret the therapist is able to lead the couple down a dark road against each other. This feature will surely not be for everyone but Mr. Donohue does his best to remind those of us that remember those days of the erotic thriller there is still great stories to be told especially when you have an all-star Indie cast to help pull it off. For that I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Members Club (Tubi) – This horror comedy out of the UK is something I absolutely heard nothing about but glad I gave it a chance as the feature opens with a park sign reading “No Dogging”… I was hooked immediately! Quickly we are introduced to a group of male strippers who have aged out of the profession but refuse to stop. Their brilliant name for the group is “Wet Dreams”! Wet Dreams is offered a gig of the lifetime as it is a sold out venue as its unlikely they are going to have an opportunity like this again to perform in front of a sold out crowd. All are drugged before the show and quickly are told they are sacrifices for an evil ritual to bring forth an old witch that is looking for revenge hundreds of years later. Things don’t exactly go according to plan as the strippers must fight the witch in order to escape the terror in this somewhat gory and uncomfortable fun feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Sound of Horror (YouTube) – So recently I watched a newer horror film called ‘Invisible Raptor’ as someone pointed out there was an older Spanish flick that did the concept first. So I went down the wormhole to go find this 1966 b-flick where an archeologist and friends go treasure hunting in a mountain that has urban legends about it. The locals fear the mountain but that doesn’t stop this group from digging away to find a petrified egg and a mummy thus disturbing the invisible dinosaur that roams inside the mountain. The group must make the hard decision to either leave or die trying to find the so called legendary treasure as I give the film 2 stars.

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: Christmas Special (Blu-ray) – The entertaining and talented Addison Binek is back at it again as he brings forth a collection of his famous holiday cheer episodes to a better format for fans. As Mr. Binek refers to himself as “Addy Claus” goes the road of the usual holiday horror with a couple of oddities that will make you turn your head slowly in that creepy Michael Myers way in confusion but yet delight. Remember not all of them can be hits as he quite gets into the spirit of riffing on such features: Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Snowman, Santa Claws, Christmas Evil, Santa’s Slay, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, To All a Goodnight, Slaughter Claus, Cannibal Claus, Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventures, Santa Claus: Serial Rapist, Krampus: The Christmas Devil, The Elf, Once Upon a Time at Christmas. This set is not only for the holiday horror die hards but for folks that just like to laugh at quirky cinema they never knew could be this funny as why I give this set 4 out of 4 stars.

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Holiday Leftover Edition (Blu-ray) – This might be Addison’s most interesting and hilarious collection to make it to the Blu-ray format for fans as Mr. Binek really goes all out to truly make this the weirdest collection of leftovers a must have. Addison starts off strong as he gives us Easter Bunny Kill Kill!, no matter how tasteless or uncomfortable it makes him while riffing on it. Unlucky Charms continues the laughter as it makes Addison question if there was ever a plot? He quickly moves right onto Peter Rottentail that only confuses him because the lack of rabbit references and the filmmakers not truly understanding how magic works. Mr. Binek then really digs into Plan 9 from Outer Space as it is considered a Halloween treat for some so he can make sense of it for others. As he goes back to an Easter film in Easter Casket Addison only finds he gets upset there isn’t more candy in plastic Easter eggs but believing every scene is filmed in a rando hotel room. And then he reaches Blood Freak … (remake from Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross) which makes Addison convinced Thanksgiving is only a holiday for doing drugs? From there Addison brings out a Home Alone sequel I literally didn’t know existed? But leave it to the famous Indie label Mail Order holiday horror to have Addison question if watching all these projects was even a good idea especially when he lays into Hell on the Shelf. If that wasn’t enough Amityville Thanksgiving leaves Addison questions about gift wrapping and not understanding this entry is a holiday entry into the Amityville series. All this leads into two oddities of the holiday leftover edition that features Cookie Christmas movie which is truly bizarre and can only be believed if watched along with the underrated and possibly one of the most brilliant horror sequels of all time in Leprechaun in the Hood! As you can tell I have always been a fan of Addison’s work and his riffing on movies but this “Holiday Leftover Edition” might be the crown jewel as he digs deep for projects that most don’t know about along with one or two that you have come across on Tubi or something with great curiosity as this must own Blu-ray without a doubt gets 4 out of 4 stars.

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