Red Light District Shark Attack (Fawesome/DVD) – So Amsterdam sex workers are experimenting with a new drug at their brothel that mistakenly makes baby sharks. Of course some fat horny dude heads out to same whorehouse in Amsterdam for some sex and drugs! Working lady convinces fat guy to take said experimental drug and not only loses weight immediately, he becomes half shark/half man. The rest of the movie is about the young sex workers trying to stop half shark/half man from feasting on their hot little bodies. Short film form would have been much better for an idea like this… But trying to stretch it into feature form to get distribution is just sad and makes for a boring Indy shark movie that gets 0 stars.
Apex Predators 2: The Spawning (Fawesome/DVD) – Dustin Ferguson doing a smart a second time around takes a cue from the famous sequel to ‘Piranha’. The sharks are back attacking people heading to the beach and this time they fly on shore to get their meal as the all-important volleyball tournament is about to go down. This means feeding frenzy for the mutated sharks! The film stars the likes of Vernon Wells, Indy horror host Jennifer Nangle, and Eric Larsen as Jennifer Nangle’s character intermittently takes you through the tragic events of flying sharks by telling the viewer how she survived the attacks. A vast improvement over the first film as I gotta give this sequel 2 ½ stars.
Phil Herman’s Unearthed (DVD) – Phil Herman has churned out several anthologies over the past few years and this one seems to have a different vibe than the ones I have viewed in the past. This Indy anthology installment felt like it wasn’t playing by all the rules in search of giving the viewer an entertaining but different take as these four tales tackle: missing persons, alien abduction, demon possession, and mystical serial killer? You get to see some cool acting talents such as Heather Harlow, Debbie D, and Tina Krause among other famous people in what I describe as a deep dark thriller of an anthology. I do believe the Indy folk will enjoy these entertaining tales as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Operation Fortune (DVD) – Nic Cage has done a similar film but I will always have a soft spot for Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham project. Orson works for the government and is on holiday until he is pulled off by his handler to seek why something nasty was stolen? Orson gets a new crew together along with a Hollywood action star so they can get info at a charity event that an arms dealer is hosting. Point is they need to hack the arms dealer’s cell phone so they know what this thing “The Handle” is being sold too and what exactly or how nasty is this thing? “The Handle” turns out to be the ultimate AI key that will crash the world financial system. Gimme Jason Statham and Guy Ritchie all day as I give this fun action flick 3 stars.
Intrusive (DVD) – Even at 66 minutes this slow burn but effective Indy project is from Eric Shapiro who keeps it simple but complex if that makes any sense. Sabina gets a hotel room and makes an appointment with a spiritual healer because she claims an ancient woman is very loud in her head. This woman in Sabina’s head is not allowing her to sleep or function any longer and needs immediate help from Kelly. Kelly is going to use hypnosis to help Sabina but after a few miscues feels Sabina needs professional help. But Sabina explains the voice is what led her to Kelly which intrigues Kelly why and how deep does this go? As they go back and forth through the session the story fills out and eventually comes full circle. This was a nice changeup in the usual Indy stuff I watch and recommend to people as I do recommend checking this project out as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
The Lost Platoon (VHS) – You had me at: 1990 David Prior production that deals with an aging reporter investigating a war skirmish in Nicaragua. During a fight with rebels and seeing a man in camp he believes he had encountered this man before, in a different war? The grizzled reporter is obsessed with the four soldiers who haven’t seemed to age for years. His interest gets him in trouble as they reveal themselves as vampires but they are there warring with an evil general that seems to know them also. A somewhat fun low budget vampire film that I give 2 stars too.
The Mouse Trap (Xumo Play) – So the original Mickey Mouse went public domain and of course it didn’t take long for someone to cash in on the name or fail miserably with this project. I dare you to like this garbage. Alex is stuck working her arcade job during her 21st birthday but surprise her friends are the reason why as they wanted to hang with her. Once all are in a dude with the old school Mickey Mouse mask locks the place down to murder the young people one by one while teleporting. Also can we stop the whole “everyone hand over your cell phone as we are going to have fun without them” cliché? No fucking way a 21 year old is going to unglue their phone from their hand to put it in a bag! For the love of Rutger Hauer that is such a dumb lazy story arc. Bottom line horror fans they thought they were smarter than everyone else in rushing this project and all it did was give horror fans an unwatchable mess as I give it 0 stars.
Ninja vs. Shark (Shudder) – An interesting concept that could only be done in Japan as Lord Koshiro Mizuchi sends his minions of the “Crimson Devil Clan” to kidnap, kill, and steal pearls from a small coastal village. The mayor of this village is desperate so why not hire a bodyguard for the village to fight back this evil before they all die or become slaves. This film besides bringing the gore tries to totally entertain with a shark attacking people, half shark/half man (done right unlike a certain movie Red Light District Shark Attack) that eats certain people for said Lord to become younger, ninja fights, some Mortal Kombat shit going down, but most importantly we do get a legit ninja vs. shark! Yes enjoy this craziness as I give you this hidden international gem 3 stars.
King on Screen (Shudder) – A crowd funded project with a ton of interviews with filmmakers who brought Stephen King’s books to the screen. It tries to cover everything but gets caught up on discussing ‘The Shinning’ and for good reason (horror fans pay attention). It does bring up the relationship between King and Romero and as fun as that is there is little if no attention paid to such films: Salem’s Lot, Graveyard Shift, Cat’s Eye, The Dark Half, and Maximum Overdrive. This documentary felt like a mixed bag of sorts but there could be numerous reasons different projects were not discussed or not as much for my liking as I give the project 2 stars.
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