Gross Movie Reviews #339

By Tim Gross

Smiley (DVD) – I was told to stay from this flick but you know me that is like telling a mosquito don’t go to the bug zapper… But anyway I finally sat and watch this flick that is based on some weird internet urban legend. It’s dated already since supposedly you go into some chat roulette room and wish death in so many words upon someone and this thing with a smiley face shows up behind them and kills them. Sounds cool but gets annoying very quickly especially with the lack of bloodshed throughout the film but did somewhat enjoy the twist where it’s just a prank pulled by a demented chatroom group.  I give it 1 ½ stars.

Deadly Blessing (DVD) – An odd early 80s film that I can check off my list of films I never seen. If that wasn’t enough it’s directed by Wes Craven and stars the likes of Michael Berryman, Sharon Stone, and Ernest Borgnine and based in Amish country of eastern Pa., even though it was shot entirely in Texas. But Borgnine’s oldest son breaks away from the crazy pack Amish and marries a woman that they call an Incubus! The dude dies of a horrible death but that doesn’t stop Borgnine calling her an Incubus and warning all more death will come. Weird, odd, and not a much talked about film from Craven’s career which is all the more reason to give it a watch as I give 2 ½ stars.

Silent Hill: Revelation (DVD) – Sharon and father has been on the run since her mother Rose had disappeared in Silent Hill. But “The Order” has found a way to try and bring Sharon back to Silent Hill and that is kidnapping her father as she would come willingly to Silent Hill and that would please “Alyssa”. The film stars Sean Bean again and Malcolm McDowell as this is the film that reminds me of the game not that first film which I just felt was boring at times. Unlike the “Resident Evil” adaptions, “Silent Hill” got it right. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

The Midnight Hour (YouTube/DVD) – An ABC TV flick from 1985 that just happen to star Lavar Burton, Peter Deluise, Kevin McCarthy, Dick Van Patten, voice of Wolfman Jack, Kurtwood Smith, and the Home Alone kid shows up for an uncredited role as a trick or treat kid. Anyhow some high school kids steal 300 year old costumes from the town museum for a Halloween party and joke around with a ritual at the local legendary cemetery. With this prank they back demons, witches, and the dead because some evil cursed the town 300 years ago and it’s up to the nerd of the group to figure out how to save everyone and the town. Fun stuff from the mid-80s as I give it 3 stars.

Rage of Honor (DVD) – The action film stars Sho Kosugi aka that bad ass Asian dude from “Enter the Ninja” and “Revenge of the Ninja”. After his partner is killed while trying to bring down a druglord his character takes it upon himself to kill everyone involved no matter who gets in his way in this over the top crazy action film that no words can do it justice. I give it 3 stars.

Night of the Sharks (YouTube/DVD) – A weirdo Eye-talian flick that stars the underrated actor Treat Williams as a shark hunter and his buddy Antonio Fargas best known for his work in the alien flick “The Borrower”. Treat Williams aka David has a brother named James who sends him a CD that just so happens to have damning evidence of a mob’s illegal dealings. David doesn’t want to have anything to do with it and doesn’t think of it until his brother shows up and is killed soon after by the gangsters that wanted him killed. Now the gangsters are trying to buy the CD off of David but also plan his untimely death.  Fun random shit piles into a film that is a must see for Treat Williams fans, hell there is a scene of a gangster being eaten by a shark. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Auteur (DVD/Vimeo) – A new Cameron Romero joint that happens to star Tom Sizemore and involves a kid named Jack who is doing a documentary on a talented filmmaker Charlie Buckwald who disappeared after finishing his horror flick “Demonic”.  Jack wants to find out the truth behind the film and why Charlie decided to disappear? Jack’s project begins with a simple mysterious post card that points to where he could find Charlie Buckwald. Along the way Jack gets interviews from all involved and tries to find out why things went wrong. Soon after Jack gets the courage to face Charlie he soon finds out there is a lot he does not understand and there is good reason Charlie wanted to disappear so the film would never be shown. Charlie went over the edge to get the perfect film made and paid the price when he brought in real exorcism shit and cursed the film! B.J. Hendricks aka Jack was essential to bringing some movie magic into this low budget film. His actions, fandom, passion of sorts for the Charlie Buckwald character takes the film from the usual independent fare to something special, something more, something interesting and worth seeking out when released. I give the independent flick 3 out of 4 stars. You can find out more at www.jamescullenbressack.com .

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