Gross Movie Reviews #682

2

Christmas Revenge (DVD) – This is the short film by Derek Braasch that was included on Phil Herman’s fun project ‘I Slay Christmas’ anthology two years ago and now has been released on its own with some extras. The quick hitting short film deals with Santa being held captive by a man named Curtis. Curtis is upset and wants his revenge on Santa for kissing his mother and ruining the family. Problem, the family was weird to begin with as Santa explains it was Grandpa with mom messing around. It is what it is for the most part but it was enough to distract Curtis for Santa to hit the panic button to alert Mrs. Claus. She arrives to kick ass but also has a bone to pick with Mr. Claus in this fun holiday horror stuff as I give the short film on its own 3 out of 4 stars.

Krampus Collection: Krampus I-V (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter is at it again with this holiday collection of short films over the past decade he has made that deals with this evil holiday horror character ‘Krampus’. Part one deals with a young boy David not listening to his babysitter on Christmas Eve as Krampus comes to visit. Part two involves siblings and a babysitter as the older brother Sean despises the holiday as Krampus and his supernatural evil toys come to visit. Part three is a little interesting as a little girl writes Santa about causing her family pain as good ole Saint Nick sends Krampus! Part four deals with the modern day origin of Krampus and individuals believing they can control the evil menace. Part five has Krampus as a snow beast who visits those who celebrate the holiday offseason? None of the collection overstays its welcome, if anything it really shows how much of a filmmaker Mr. Hunter has grown as I give the fun independent collection 3 out of 4 stars.

The Wynkoop Tales (DVD) – Joel Wynkoop writes/directs/produces this anthology of four stories that are from storyteller Barry Atwater who is trying to sell his wild stories to a publisher. The wraparound of course is Barry telling the stories to the publisher and why they should be picked up. But first story involves a husband tired of his wife and selling her to another man to pay the bills. Second story deals with a man trying to do right by his wife after becoming a vampire recently as he tries to not involve her. Third story is an interesting twist of a couple of psychos escaping the looney bin only to enjoy killing again. Fourth story is somewhat hilarious as it involves a woman coming across some masked idoits in a forest whose cult revolves around the demon god ‘Zoltron’! Problem is her father just drove 900 miles to kick some ass to save his daughter. If you are a fan of this great independent talent then this is a must have for your collection as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Lethal Nightmare (DVD) – A recently released film from the Polonia Brothers that was made in 1991 but never made its release because of the company at the time it was with closed up. Now to their best ability you get to witness this once lost film that was shot on Super-8 by the brothers as Mark does an introduction to the film explaining why it wasn’t released and that was a remake of one of their earlier projects. This is a very bizarre Polonia Brothers project as it has a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ vibe to it as three brothers living together discover evil in their home that perhaps is coming from their dreams and nightmares. The more you think you understand the weirder the film gets as I give this very odd never quite finished project 2 out of 4 stars.

Special Needs Revolt! (Tubi) – This independent film is hilarious, made to make you feel awkward and very on par with today’s politics right now in 2025! Billy Bates is a guy with Down syndrome who is forced to live in a group home because his grandma “Is a bitch!” Billy’s words not mine. During a New Year’s Eve party Billy finally gets in the spirit of the event after seeing a candidate for President: Donald J. Kruger is going to run on the platform of getting rid of all the cripples. Billy slips on puke, hits his head, and wakes up three years later to find this moron Kruger is the president and has special needs people arrested on site. As Billy fights with authorities in public he escapes their custody in the town of Donville where he finds friends in hiding. These are people just like Billy hiding out from the new government and military as Billy decides it is time for a rebellion! Billy Bates leads a force of special needs people and wrestlers to capture President Kruger and expose him for the asshole he is. I absolutely enjoyed this film as I too have two special needs people in my life and there is a lot of possible awkward moments in the film for audiences who do not have anybody like Billy in their lives. I wish the 110 minute running was edited down as I believe the project would benefit greatly from it but don’t let that stop you from enjoying an excellently made film with a great cast that will make you squirm a little while watching it as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Channel 13 (Blu-ray) – A lost anthology that was made by the Polonia Brothers after ‘Splatter Farm’ that was never quite finished but definitely has a nostalgic vibe of what it was like at the time they filmed it in the late 80s. Again this as an introduction by Mark Polonia explaining what happened to the film and how its available now as the first tale is ‘All Hallows Eve’ where a man brings a scarecrow to life to claim it is the only friend he has. Second tale called ‘Claws of Terror’ deals with a mutant bird meets man. Third tale is somewhat funny as Mark Polonia explains it was the brothers take on ‘Motel Hell’ before ever seeing the full movie called ‘Slaughterhouse’. Hank’s Sauce Farm is the place to be if you want good food and not be seen from ever again! If you are a nerd for Polonia Brothers projects as I am this is some wonderful unfinished stuff to witness as its frozen in time and really cool how they shot Super-8 for a bit along with SOV as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #572

0

Gross Movie Reviews #572

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (Blu-ray) – Many people also know it as ‘Let Sleeping Corpses Lie’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came for her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and the detective believes “the damn hippie”, George, is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill parasites on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give the film 2 ½ stars but 4 out of 4 stars all the way for Synapse Films going all out giving UK zombie fans an absolute pristine Blu-ray. The film looks beautiful, super colorful and it is like watching it for the first time again… Synapse made sure to pack this disc with a couple commentaries, a documentary on filmmaker Jorge Grau along with a few other goodies that will make you happy you made this purchase so go to www.synapse-films.com for your copy now.

Studio 666 (On Demand) – So The Foo Fighters are working on another album but have hit a snag? It is their tenth album and they are feeling pressure from their manager to make this happen but Dave Grohl and company haven’t got anything on paper. The manager super-hot with their pissing around sends them to a known haunted house in Encino, California to actually work on the new album. They all agree it has a great creepy death vibe but think nothing of it until weird things begin to happen and their roadie is killed while hooking up equipment. Meanwhile trying to continue on and Dave having writer’s block he does find the basement where he finds a bad ass never finished track from the band “Dream Widow”. He quickly becomes possessed and is determined to finish this epic song which will be the whole album! There are demons, possession, talk of Satan, great music, humor, and who would have guessed that Dave Grohl can actually act? Now I won’t go “one of the best films of 2022” but this was a lot of fun and a pleasant surprise for horror movie fans as I give it 3 stars.

Feeders 3 (DVD) – Mark Polonia dips into the Polonia Brothers archive to make the ‘Feeders’ franchise a trilogy. These two Indy cult films were from the mid to late 90s starring the brothers and Jon McBride and have garnished some fanfare from Indy collectors as some of the most fun films you could see? Well, 25 years later and the aliens have returned to harvest humans as the usual Polonia cast all make an appearance including “a photo and footage from the past two films of Jon McBride” (that was a nice touch). A F.B.I. agent is visiting Wellsboro, Pa. as it is the anniversary and been 25 years since the “Wellsboro 10” with the case never being solved. He is investigating the lone survivor Derek who is still hanging out in an asylum following the event many years ago but still trying to warn all the people Wellsboro aliens are coming to harvest them! To give the film some filler and humor is the filmmaker making a cheap film on the “Wellsboro 10” but that doesn’t even matter because the highlight might be the aliens setting a trap for Santa Claus… Cheesy and stupid but it made me laugh my ass off as I give this third entry into the “Feeders” franchise 2 ½ stars.

Dominion (DVD) – I am always a sucker for late 80s to mid-90s direct-to-video stuff. Especially when it stars Tim Thomerson and Brion James! Anyway a group of hunters head for a super special secluded hunting/camping grounds that is run by Lynnwood Adventures. But after an accident last year the owner Lynnwood hasn’t been seen or heard from much leaving his partner in charge. So when Harris and his group are being shot at by a sniper on a bridge in the mountains its Lynnwood who wants revenge on all hunters for accidentally killing his kid. Not the best of action flicks but I am a sucker for stuff like this every time and I give it 2 stars.

Bloody Pit of Horror (DVD) – A fun oddball flick from the 60s where the legend of The Crimson Executioner is still haunting a castle over 300 years later. He was entombed into his own device the ‘Iron Maiden’ (insert Bill and Ted joke here) to never be opened. But the tomb is accidentally opened when a group of people who break into the castle to take risky photographs using the castle as the backdrop. Soon people are being murdered and could it be the Crimson Executioner is back? Or is it the retired strong man who has lost his marbles living there? Anyway the whole time I kept waiting for Santo or Batman to show up. Looking for pointless fun then make this your first stop as this film caused me to laugh quite a few times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

New Year’s Evil (Blu-ray) – I will admit I have only watched this film twice in my life this being the third and very late to the party of seeing this early holiday slasher. Hell, this one gets forgotten often when horror fans talk slashers? Anyhow third time was a charm because this updated Blu-ray from Kino Lorber is ridiculously awesome! There were literally whole scenes I had never understood because of how crappy the quality was on the other versions I watched.  But anyhow TV host is counting down the ‘New Wave’ music each hour until the ball drops but there is a killer on the loose named “Evil” who is killing a person for each time zone. Can he be stopped in time before he kills Blaze? It has its moments but nowhere as good as some of the other holiday titles but this Blu-ray is a definite for the hardcore collectors out there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dash Cam (On Demand) – If you took the recent film ‘Spree’ and the found footage film ‘Area 51’ jammed them together and make sure the lead character is a despicable American you will hate in the first five minutes of the film that is your film here? Anyhow Annie doesn’t believe in the pandemic and flies to the UK to fuck with her friend who is living a different life during the pandemic. Annie like most young people has a live stream show called “Band Car” where she is constantly rapping or just recording everything she does. Annie is having a good old time being a complete asshole until she meets Angela and her weirdness and still finds a way to be an asshole and a classic example why many people believe humanity should just end since we all have no common sense any longer? For the most part this film wasn’t made for me and I think making the Annie character such an asshole along with the scrolling on the side of the screen takes away from any momentum you are trying to scare people with the Angela character. I give this quickly forgotten film 1 star.

Art House Massacre (DVD) – This 2012 film is hidden in plain sight called ‘Art of Darkness’ but its original title is so much better and makes so much more sense. Besides three minutes in we have a great eye gouge scene there is an artist who works with flesh let’s say. Liz is a model who has taken a break because she and the boyfriend try to have a baby I believe and they lost it. She takes a modeling gig begrudging but knows they need the money. She meets the artist/serial killer and is kidnapped for far more demented reasons. Ben the boyfriend pursues looking for her with no answers and the cops being to slow but both parties find out much more unsettling truths about the artist once they start digging hoping for a clue to find Liz. This was a nice surprise as the usual ‘massacre’ crap is crap where this was a nice sadistic serial killer film that I give 2 ½ stars.

Nightmare Beach (Blu-ray) – Great cast, its 1988, Umberto Lenzi is connected to this project, it stars John Saxon and Michael Parks, I felt like I was in for a cheeseball treat! A notorious biker Diablo is executed right before spring break in South Florida for a murder he did not commit. But justice was done to make the mayor happy until it isn’t long before Diablo’s grave is disturbed and a mysterious biker is roaming the streets for rando spring breakers to execute them. This movie doesn’t disappoint with the 80s cheese as the whole thing comes down to a cover up by John Saxon’s cop character and the mayor. I had a lot fun watching this for the first time and looks absolutely wonderful, again thank you Kino Lorber as I give it 3 stars.

Frankenstein 1970 (DVD) – No where the best of the Boris Karloff films but Karloff plays the Baron Frankenstein who is concerned about his legacy? Being broke and needing money for equipment he allows a film crew into his castle and begins to even interact with the filming while he is busy with his toilet paper Frankenstein in his secret lair! It does drag a good bit but when Boris is on screen this late 50s flick is must see just to enjoy Karloff just because as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Jurassic Thunder (DVD) – This 2019 film tries to be funny but fails miserably as a comic book store owner opens a one of a kind comic to read the tale of zombies, dinosaurs, and the military trying to stop WWIII from happening. A dictator in Africa has unleashed something horrible on the world and the U.S. and Russia don’t want to use nukes so let’s use commando dinosaurs. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun but instead is a lot of jokes falling flat and bad CGI that makes Asylum look like they make “JAWS” every time out as I give this turd 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!