Tag Archives: Joel Wynkoop

Gross Movie Reviews #683

0
Posted on by

H.P. Lovecraft’s Celephais (Vimeo) – A short story of Lovecraft’s adapted to film by Michael Neel who edited and directed this 34 minute short film project. This might be a story that horror fans are not too familiar with as the usuals are: The Unnamable, Re-Animator, From Beyond, or even Dagon of which we have seen adapted to name a few. This version deals with an old man fascinated with a dream place/land called “Celephais” that he has been chasing down since he was seven years old. He travels his dreamland when he sleeps constantly as he believes this is home but along his travels he encounters many that are interested in him. This short story/short film is fascinating to me as it can be taken as many things? For me for instance this old man is dying or already right at the edge and his brain is taking him to where he always thought he belonged… before he crosses over in so many words if you believe in such things as the ‘beyond’ to just put it out there broadly. That is how I see it as I may experience something like that a few years back but the point is filmmaker Michael Neel and crew just nailed this project as it was well thought out, well shot, perfect use of locations, and just enough weirdness that I think Lovecraft fans will enjoy it. This short film is one of the best things I have watched in 2025 as it’s absolutely charming at the same time hypnotically amazing! For that my friends I have to give this short film 4 out of 4 stars.

28 Years Later (On Demand) – Best way to explain this movie at least for me is: this isn’t the zombie/rage virus movie I was looking for? Of course it picks up 28 years after the virus has hit Europe. They have been able to contain it ‘Escape from New York’ style but basically if your ass was in that zone… you were fucked! A community cut off from the mainland because of high tide has managed to survive all this time because of their rules. A young boy turning into a man knows his mum is sick as he hears a story of a rogue doctor (Dr. Kelsey) who chose to stay on the mainland with the infected. The boy sneaks his mum out of the community to gain answers from this doctor in hopes of curing his mum. We learn there is “Alphas”, they can get prego, and this shit isn’t just go away, but a big part of me just wonders if I watched one long weird movie about “assisted suicide”? Again for me this wasn’t the movie I wanted to see for the third entry in the series but also I wasn’t quite a fan of the second film either as I give it 2 stars.

Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2 (DVD) – Literally whose fucking bright idea was it to make a sequel to a 40 year old TV movie that stars Larry Drake? Let alone at least one if not two generations of horror fans don’t even know about the original film as I hate to say it but you may have been better off remaking it instead of just a no budget sequel. Anyway, the film is about a killer scarecrow helping out a young boy Jeremy and his mom who just moved to this small farm community. Blah, blah, blah sorry but the plot comes off uninspiring as I doubt horror fans even know or care about this being released recently as I give it 0 stars.

Dead End Meg (Fawesome) – An oddity of a tale about two best friends who have a major problem. A guy named Gunnar that the two friends owe money too has a girlfriend named Meg who just had a wild kinky night of sex with one of the fellows. Here is the problem: he remembers nothing, they need to get rid of the body, and Gunnar’s guys suspect Meg is at the house? Just a weirdo off the wall independent movie with a lot of anal and penis conversations and a hilarious plot of how do they get rid of Meg? This is one of those films that will make a few viewers turn the movie off  before it is over as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes (DVD) – An early 60s classic that involves Dr. Xavier having a breakthrough formula that can be used as drops in the eyes to help a human see beyond what the human brain can comprehend. The good doctor believes this could revolutionize healthcare as he keeps seeing his eye doctor preparing to possibly test on himself? As his funding gets pulled Dr. Xavier sees no other choice to prove all who doubt him wrong he must use it on himself. With the experimental formula his eyes begin to change as he can see past surfaces, see people naked, etc. but he accidentally pushes his best friend out the window when arguing about the risks. Because of the death Dr. X goes on the run as he ends up at a boardwalk circus and eventually Vegas as he tries to continue the treatment to his eyes. Eventually the experiment turns on him in this fun treat of a thriller as I give it 3 stars.

The Necro Files (DVD) – This 1997 independent feature from filmmaker Matt Jassile is a gritty, sleazy, even gory version of ‘The X-Files’. The story proceeds about a couple of cops who catch up to a somewhat cannibalistic serial rapist in the middle of his chaotic mess. The cops go a little too far with their capture of the notorious rapist as they kill him after being handcuffed. Nine months later a satanic cult (in midday mind you) performs a ritual to bring back this nasty abomination! Suddenly an undead serial rapist has risen and wonders the streets but just don’t ask why the zombie rapist’s dick is longer than most people’s arms… Even in the afterlife this horny bastard continues his demented raping and killing but let’s not forget there is also a flying demonic baby after the zombie that only bites you in the jugular (seriously not making this wild shit up)! So it’s all up to the two officers that started this mess as they chase this zombie down in their Ford Tempo and for that I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.  

The Craiglon Incident II: Aftermath (DVD) – A who’s who of independent cinema joins Joel D. Wynkoop in this wild alien war project that was done during COVID. Everything was done with social distancing involved and comes off more of a history piece or lesson for film fanatics of what it was like at that time of doing nothing. Joel goes complete cheeseball mode as he has fun with aliens invading Earth, but not just this Earth but all of them. The aliens at one point are going door to door to destroy all humans. See apparently our Earth has several portals to others as three so-called warriors are called into action by a good alien to save their world… maybe? Parsons, Emile, and Dawes (Joel Wynkoop, Shawn Phillips, and Phil Herman) become the heroes once they have the alien tech to win the war. It’s a very cheesy, laughable, but entertaining piece of cinema history that should be watched by all Indy fans. Hell I am not a huge Shawn Phillips fan but thought just like Joel and Phil he went full cheeseball mode and did their best to entertain as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Jacker 3: Road to Hell (YouTube/DVD) – Mr. Herman returns to a character that caught many eyes in independent cinema thirty years ago as it fits like a glove and he wastes no time of continuing the lean into the supernatural that causes “The Jacker” to be seen as a mythical or even biblical figure. The Jacker or Mike has been quiet for 30 years as he disappeared after his reign of terror but a recent death of a drifter in the woods has caused concern along with the anniversary of the scary events. This has perked the ears of authorities and survivors alike as original characters return looking for answers. For one reason or another the time was right for The Jacker to return as he seems to be paving a road of blood to Gloria who found a way to survive The Jacker’s original attack thirty years ago. Between the return of original characters, the flashbacks to help explain the origin of sorts, and just this odd alternate world of supernatural gives the film a fun and entertaining quirkiness charm that will have independent die hards celebrating Phil Herman’s return to the character. For that I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #682

2
Posted on by

Christmas Revenge (DVD) – This is the short film by Derek Braasch that was included on Phil Herman’s fun project ‘I Slay Christmas’ anthology two years ago and now has been released on its own with some extras. The quick hitting short film deals with Santa being held captive by a man named Curtis. Curtis is upset and wants his revenge on Santa for kissing his mother and ruining the family. Problem, the family was weird to begin with as Santa explains it was Grandpa with mom messing around. It is what it is for the most part but it was enough to distract Curtis for Santa to hit the panic button to alert Mrs. Claus. She arrives to kick ass but also has a bone to pick with Mr. Claus in this fun holiday horror stuff as I give the short film on its own 3 out of 4 stars.

Krampus Collection: Krampus I-V (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter is at it again with this holiday collection of short films over the past decade he has made that deals with this evil holiday horror character ‘Krampus’. Part one deals with a young boy David not listening to his babysitter on Christmas Eve as Krampus comes to visit. Part two involves siblings and a babysitter as the older brother Sean despises the holiday as Krampus and his supernatural evil toys come to visit. Part three is a little interesting as a little girl writes Santa about causing her family pain as good ole Saint Nick sends Krampus! Part four deals with the modern day origin of Krampus and individuals believing they can control the evil menace. Part five has Krampus as a snow beast who visits those who celebrate the holiday offseason? None of the collection overstays its welcome, if anything it really shows how much of a filmmaker Mr. Hunter has grown as I give the fun independent collection 3 out of 4 stars.

The Wynkoop Tales (DVD) – Joel Wynkoop writes/directs/produces this anthology of four stories that are from storyteller Barry Atwater who is trying to sell his wild stories to a publisher. The wraparound of course is Barry telling the stories to the publisher and why they should be picked up. But first story involves a husband tired of his wife and selling her to another man to pay the bills. Second story deals with a man trying to do right by his wife after becoming a vampire recently as he tries to not involve her. Third story is an interesting twist of a couple of psychos escaping the looney bin only to enjoy killing again. Fourth story is somewhat hilarious as it involves a woman coming across some masked idoits in a forest whose cult revolves around the demon god ‘Zoltron’! Problem is her father just drove 900 miles to kick some ass to save his daughter. If you are a fan of this great independent talent then this is a must have for your collection as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Lethal Nightmare (DVD) – A recently released film from the Polonia Brothers that was made in 1991 but never made its release because of the company at the time it was with closed up. Now to their best ability you get to witness this once lost film that was shot on Super-8 by the brothers as Mark does an introduction to the film explaining why it wasn’t released and that was a remake of one of their earlier projects. This is a very bizarre Polonia Brothers project as it has a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ vibe to it as three brothers living together discover evil in their home that perhaps is coming from their dreams and nightmares. The more you think you understand the weirder the film gets as I give this very odd never quite finished project 2 out of 4 stars.

Special Needs Revolt! (Tubi) – This independent film is hilarious, made to make you feel awkward and very on par with today’s politics right now in 2025! Billy Bates is a guy with Down syndrome who is forced to live in a group home because his grandma “Is a bitch!” Billy’s words not mine. During a New Year’s Eve party Billy finally gets in the spirit of the event after seeing a candidate for President: Donald J. Kruger is going to run on the platform of getting rid of all the cripples. Billy slips on puke, hits his head, and wakes up three years later to find this moron Kruger is the president and has special needs people arrested on site. As Billy fights with authorities in public he escapes their custody in the town of Donville where he finds friends in hiding. These are people just like Billy hiding out from the new government and military as Billy decides it is time for a rebellion! Billy Bates leads a force of special needs people and wrestlers to capture President Kruger and expose him for the asshole he is. I absolutely enjoyed this film as I too have two special needs people in my life and there is a lot of possible awkward moments in the film for audiences who do not have anybody like Billy in their lives. I wish the 110 minute running was edited down as I believe the project would benefit greatly from it but don’t let that stop you from enjoying an excellently made film with a great cast that will make you squirm a little while watching it as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Channel 13 (Blu-ray) – A lost anthology that was made by the Polonia Brothers after ‘Splatter Farm’ that was never quite finished but definitely has a nostalgic vibe of what it was like at the time they filmed it in the late 80s. Again this as an introduction by Mark Polonia explaining what happened to the film and how its available now as the first tale is ‘All Hallows Eve’ where a man brings a scarecrow to life to claim it is the only friend he has. Second tale called ‘Claws of Terror’ deals with a mutant bird meets man. Third tale is somewhat funny as Mark Polonia explains it was the brothers take on ‘Motel Hell’ before ever seeing the full movie called ‘Slaughterhouse’. Hank’s Sauce Farm is the place to be if you want good food and not be seen from ever again! If you are a nerd for Polonia Brothers projects as I am this is some wonderful unfinished stuff to witness as its frozen in time and really cool how they shot Super-8 for a bit along with SOV as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!