They Call Me Bruce? (DVD) – A 1982 comedy that would be seen as a politically incorrect film these days more than the comedy it was playing as on the early cable channels in the early 80s. An Asian man who keeps being mistaken for Bruce Lee wants to make his way to New York? As much as the young man would love to be like his hero Bruce Lee the man knows nothing of the martial arts. The man Bruce after a hilarious series of scenarios finds himself working for the mob but making his way to New York. The delivery boy as he is known as for the mob keeps finding himself in a series of ridiculous events as he makes his way to New York and mind you the FBI is also involved. The movie has many laughs of a time that is now forgotten as there is no way this film would be made today as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Cicada! (DVD) – This low budget flick keeps it a simple “creature feature” as a once legendary baseball player now disgraced and retired finds himself fighting giant cicadas! The former ball player hooks up with a small group of people who run around town killing the mutant cicadas. The film is silly, dumb, but holy hell it was entertaining enough for me as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Crocodylus: Mating Season (On Demand) – For those who may not remember the terrible first feature? It has produced a sequel that goes away from being serious in Peaceful Creek, Florida where the creature still lives! This recent urban legend is back and snacking on boaters and swimmers again but there is more to it this time. A young lady Allie Glades hires a P.I. Harry Bates to seek out her brother Mark who had disappeared. He was very sick and started an experimental drug to help cure him then that is when he disappeared. As Allie and Bates investigate they soon find themselves in something much bigger in this spoof? The experiment was meant to cure cancer is more of just turning a human into a monster that feeds on fish then humans. There are hilarious jokes throughout like Harry Bates ex-wife became a professional Hide and Seek player who he could never find… For that I give this film 2 ½ stars for throwing something different out there than the usual follow up.
Mausoleum (Blu-ray) – This 1983 film is just a complete wild ride that I know I have seen once before and have completely forgotten and not totally sure why? Anyhow a young girl loses her mother at the age of ten and must go live with her aunt. Instead she goes crying through a graveyard until she comes upon a mausoleum called ‘Nomed’ where she becomes possessed but doesn’t remember it. Twenty years pass and Suzie gets the sudden urge to get naked anytime men are around, have sex with them, and make their heads explode! If that wasn’t enough hilarious weirdness… look for the odd gardener who plays with his belly button constantly. Susan’s husband Oliver suspects something and gets Susan’s doctor involved only to learn the doctor may have knew Susan had been possessed for years. While this goes on Susan’s powers grow and there is some weird thing that may help separate her from the demon if they can put a crown of thorns on her? There is just a fuck ton of weirdness here that I am glad I rewatched and will again sometime soon as I give it 3 stars.
Paganini Horror (DVD) – It is Italian, Luigi Cozzi made it, and Donald Pleasence plays the devil? Yes kids I am in! I feel you don’t need to know anything else but I will review it anyway as apparently some musical dude sold his soul to the devil 200 years ago and his unproduced song has gotten into a singer’s hands to make a huge video called “Paganini Horror”. Kate and her manager set up the video to begin filming only to accidentally conjure the spirit of Paganini… I think? The movie doesn’t make a ton of sense but it’s bloody and Italian so yinz will love it as I give it 3 stars.
Curtains for Christmas (Blu-ray) – Great, just what we need another holiday film of goodness! But this isn’t just your usual Hallmark happy holiday festive bullcrap as director/co-writer Steve Rudzinski and co-writer Aileen Isley craft a tale of holiday terror about a young woman Holly who just wants Christmas to be perfect like her favorite holiday film. The film goes for the holiday throat in no time as Holly kills her boyfriend of eight months because he refuses to spend the holiday with her and won’t introduce Holly to his parents. (Absolutely love Holly chowing on the block of cheese depressingly watching her favorite holiday film). The murder is only the beginning as Holly now has conversations with an imaginary holiday rodent who is giving her advice as she believes there is still time for her to have the perfect Christmas like her favorite film. So why not go kill your way to having the perfect holiday where you fall in love, have a family, and it’s the greatest Christmas tale ever told. That is when she meets Jay and she puts her killing spree I mean plan into action. Everything from the gingerbread house contest to the fake kidnapped family for Holly makes this beyond entertaining and ends in a huge bloody mess of course. So grab the milk and cookies, and possibly a sharp knife to stab I mean to have with your loved one while watching this sick holiday treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Demons (4K Ultra HD) – By now in your life if you are a horror movie fan, especially one that grew up in the 80s you know of this classic film. The project from Lamberto Bava and Dario Argento has people invited to a secret screening of a film that seems to be a great idea to check out until… all hell breaks loose. Just like the film they are watching a mask scratches a character and they begin to change. Same thing happens to a patron before the screening and once the movie plays all the movie goers are trapped in hell by these crazed blood thirsty demons! Chaos, gore, and non-stop drooling demons seeking out any living being make this film a horror fan’s dream. This new transfer just pops off screen and will make horror movie fans really think “Now is a good time to pick up that 4K player.” This collection has a card inside that is the movie ticket for the theater explaining the transfer but also the disc has three different versions of the film, a couple commentaries with Bava and cast, a segment on Dario Argento producing the film, archival special features that is everything and anything ‘Demons’ related from different versions released over the years, along with different audio tracks for the commentaries. So there are few 4K films that impress me but this just jump off the TV at you from frame one and has more than enough ‘Demons’ related stuff to keep you busy for the next day in a half as I give this absolute beauty 4 out of 4 stars as it is available at www.synapsefilms.com .
Demons 2 (4K Ultra HD) – It worked the first time so why not in a high rise building? Again if you are a hardcore horror movie fan you know all about the sequel just trying to up the violence and drooling demons running through the hallways of an apartment building slicing and dicing any human! And again just like the first film in 4K the sequel just jumps off the screen with its bright colors. Can’t complain the amount of gore, goo, and demons they throw this time around especially with its crazy ass ending. The disc has two different versions of the sequel, a commentary from Travis Crawford, a very interesting segment with author and critic Alexandra Heller-Nicholas discussing both ‘Demons & Demons 2’, more fun archival special features for the horror nerds, along with a couple trailers, and a couple Italian audio tracks and subtitles. Having both of these titles on 4K reminds when the ‘Alien: Quadrilogy’ set was released. So much cool shit to comb through that you just hope to get the flu and stay home from work for three days so you could get through everything ‘Demons’ as like the first film I gotta give this 4 out of 4 stars and it is available at www.synapsefilms.com .
Cold Blows the Wind (On Demand) – A dark thriller stars the talented Jamie Bernadette while Dean and Tasha is a couple who were celebrating Tasha’s birthday where they just happen to run over a man on their way to an isolated family cottage. As the couple fight over exactly what they should do which it becomes apparent not to call authorities the victim tries to escape. Dean stabs the man dead or at least he believes and their fate is sealed as they agree to bury the body and clean up their mess. But the night is about to get weird as they hear a knock at the door from a young frighten woman who knows too much? Briar has come to make a deal as the night continues to get more bizarre with her appearance and the couple questioning their own relationship. The film is a fun strange evil twist of fate that will make you think about the plot quite often after viewing the film. My only complaint of the film is if ‘Don’t Kill It’ doesn’t exist I believe I would have enjoyed the ending more? Or never quite explaining the reasoning of what was happening to the couple I may have like this thriller a little more. Overall the movie has enough scary tension that should satisfy the horror fan looking for a little more evil plot than just blood and guts as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
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