Tag Archives: Amityville Death Toilet

Gross Movie Reviews #639

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Galaxy Warriors (DVD) – Veteran Indy filmmaker Brett Kelly uses his mind and his usual no budget to bring a futuristic women in prison movie together. A bounty hunter in space under the name Demeter is contacted about her sister Artemis being imprisoned on a prison planet. So it is big sister to the rescue as her and co-pilot gets thrown in prison to find her sister. Once there Demeter notices everything is not going according to plan and they will need lots of help to make their escape. The film has a lot heart and feels like a 90s independent movie more than a recent one. But it loses some steam towards the end as it felt like Mr. Kelly wasn’t totally sure on how to end this project but that is just me thinking out loud there? No matter what I see fans of Brett Kelly enjoying this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Bigfoot (DVD/Tubi) – Shawn Phillips returns to the director’s chair with entry #60 folks! This time around there are scientists in a secluded cabin experimenting on what should be an unknown creature, “Bigfoot”? What else the plot throws at you is a movie shoot about Bigfoot that is ongoing in the same woods, there are also activists against Amityville Chemical, and a few rando homeless people smoking weed. Once the creature escapes the cabin and there are more sinister things at play here Bigfoot begins his bloody rampage through the woods slaughtering all who cross him. This Bigfoot slasher (maybe?) also stars Eric Roberts, Trent Haaga, and the wonderful Tuesday Knight. I am not totally sure what exactly this entry had to do with Amityville but it was fun to see a movie that could be considered a Bigfoot slasher as I give it 2 stars.

Shakespeare’s Shitstorm (On Demand) – Only Troma could pull something off like this where a new drug has hit the shelves from “Big Pharma” called “Safespacia”: a pill for 18 to 30 year olds so they don’t feel an uncomfortable moment in their lives. They can see friends because it helps create a safe space around them. The story or parody is of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” like only Lloyd can produce. A boatload of Big Pharma execs are shipwrecked onto the shore of Tromaville, New Jersey. From there they all go looking for help and find “Prospero’s Retreat” in an alley of Tromaville where they can continue their partying and evil ways. But little they know the club is run by a scientist named Prospero who was ousted many years before because he wasn’t in it for the money? Now it’s Prospero’s turn to get his revenge but will that change when his blind daughter falls in love with the big exec’s son? The film takes on all the recent issues of social justice, etc., etc., no stone goes unpunished in usual Troma fashion. As usual the film is perverse and fun but felt like about 60 minutes in or so the message was being beaten into you instead of entertaining you but I still liked the movie enough to give it 3 stars.

Flesh Games (DVD) – What looks like another ‘Jackass’ fan film goes in a little bit of a different direction? A small group of so-called no name stuntmen and comedians are getting the “band back together” to start filming some Jackass adventures again like they did some years before. Then they were teenagers like a lot of people who were influenced by Knoxville and crew but now they are border-line out of shape folks getting drunk and reliving the past while filming it. There is the grandma skit, terrible twister, Homerun derby, glass jaw, skateboarding accidents… you get the picture where this Indy film is going. What seems like just another Indy film being a copycat of the popular project “Magnum Opus: The Movie” from Addison Binek takes a dark odd twist of how far is too far about ¾’s the way through the film. Trying not to spoil it as it was kind of a small surprise for this just over 60 minute movie that I think Indy fans will embrace if they stick this out what it was really going for as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Can find it for purchase at:  https://srscinemastore.com/search?q=Flesh+Games

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allen under Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com   

Amityville Backpack (Tubi) – No, you haven’t lost your mind as this is entry #61 into this long running series that doesn’t surprise me what they do next but know I will be there to watch and keep track of. From the filmmaker behind the ‘Death Toilet’ series we get this entry where a possessed backpack is bought from a garage sale. (Sorry folks, the vibrator in the yard sale were the best concept) Anyhow, after a kid is murdered by the backpack (you got me paying attention right there) Luther buys the backpack at the garage sale believing it is the answer to all his woes of forgetting stuff? Doesn’t take long for the backpack to try killing Poopsie the cat and heading off to the pool for a beer before killing anyone in its path around Luther at the office. Or at least all the people who have this weird obsession of putting on a backpack? Also if that wasn’t enough the object knows how to shoot a gun and drive a car as over 80 minutes is too much. I believe this joke would have worked so much better as a twenty minute short but that is my opinion as I give it 1 ½ stars. Sometimes projects are better as short films, examples: Amityville Quilt Store and Amityville Outhouse.

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Gross Movie Reviews #611

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Mad God (Shudder) – I’ll be honest about this flick Joe Bob Briggs gave me a reason to finally sit and watch this film. It always had my interest but I would always find something else to watch? Mostly because I had a feeling this movie might be a bit too artsy for me or fall into “not my cup of tea” kinda thing? Anyhow this film took thirty years to make as it’s a stop-motion animation of a post-apocalyptic world where a thing is sent into this visually stunning world to carry a bomb to the deepest depths of it. Mission would be accomplished but it is stopped by a crazy monstrous thing. This world has tons of creations to enjoy but it is hard to follow and definitely not a project you could classify as horror. This film reminds me of an old show “SyFy Exposure” that use to run late Sunday nights on SyFy Channel where you get to see several off the wall short films from filmmakers all over the world. It is an interesting project but with a run time at 110 minutes and not being your typical film to follow be prepared going in as I give it 3 stars for being wonderful to look at but is not my cup of tea thing.

Hellblazers (Tubi) – Here is a modest budget horror film that most horror fans would blow off because if you read the description and seen the cast your response would most likely be: “Great another stupid convention all-star horror film where people say their one line and collect a paycheck in a horror film with no soul.” Well kids this one is a little different (we have seen this story before… but) and worthy giving a chance as everyone has a role to play in making this quite entertaining. In a small community of Hope Valley where Billy Zane and friends raise a demon kind of surprisingly after a ritualistic sacrifice. Now a big city sheriff is trying to adjust to small community police work until this comes to light as a demon now stalks the town to feed to become stronger. With the help of the countless cult members the small community is quickly cut off from the rest of the world and as the demon feeds it becomes disgustingly cooler! Now the cast: Billy Zane, Tony Todd, Meg Foster, Adrienne Barbeau, John Kassir, Bruce Dern, and Courtney Gains. For this little horror surprise I gotta give it 3 stars.

Camp Murder (DVD) – A 2021 Mark Polonia film where a patient of Dr. Lewis decides it is time to leave the asylum when Dr. Lewis is retiring after 25 years. The patient Tommy escapes and returns to a campsite where it all began so many years ago. Problem is an Indy wrestler and friends have chosen to camp out for a couple of days in the same area. Doesn’t take Tommy long to find a mask and weapons to help him slaughter anyone in the woods. Funny thing is there is a subplot of the female Indy wrestler plotting to kill her husband for one of her fans because said fan of hers has a big dong! Starts off promising but quickly falls off of being any bit entertaining as you feel like Mark Polonia and crew slept walked through this one in two or three days as I give it 1 star.

Camp Murder (DVD) – Oh you are reading that correctly as I found another movie of the same title that came out a year later from Josh Bzura where a radio dude tells a Halloween story of some Adamsville people who get slaughtered at a summer camp August 1984. We all have seen this film hundred times or so but full kudos to Josh and crew for having a great set up, great use of location, a solid cast, and people that knew how to have fun with the formula of a masked killer at summer camp with a machete. There is a couple things that happen in this film that make me giggle as Josh does a great job building up some of these characters and capturing the awkwardness of others as this another worthy Indy horror film worth checking out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Manhattan Baby (DVD) – It is 1982 and an archeologist disturbs a tomb and sets in motion an evil spirit following him back to New York City as he is found blind outside of the tomb. It takes some time for the archeologist to regain his sight but by then strange things already begin to happen in this weird Fulci feature. Mostly because the dude’s daughter has some ancient medallion that has chosen to possess her? So if you are looking for “Zombie” or “Gates of Hell” you will be way off with this one so don’t be surprised this makes your favorites of the Fulci collection as I give it 2 stars.

The Blackening (On Demand) – A mostly black casted horror film that has one of the greatest taglines ever, has the cast heading to a cabin in the woods to celebrate Juneteenth holiday. The couple who rented the cabin find a board game that sets up the plot of the film where the black characters are forced to answer questions or die. As they are forced to play there is a masked character trying to kill them off one by one and they let the jokes fly that keeps the film moving at a crisp pace. I absolutely loved this film until about 45 minutes in as it was like the filmmaker ‘let off the gas’ until the last few minutes of the movie which is very culturally relevant and a solid entertaining horror movie. For me I just wish they would have kept the gas to the floor, but watch it, enjoy it, understand it as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Amityville Death Toilet (DVD) – Welcome folks to entry #53 aka “Death Toilet 5” as I couldn’t track down part four but was able to find this entry where the first kill has a gentleman sitting on a toilet and getting killed so hard he loses his mustache! But Evan Jacobs who has been behind all five movies decided it was time to set this one in Amityville where Mayor Dump the mayor of Amityville is flustered and wants an end to the senseless murders by the death toilet. Because you know it will kill the tourist season for Amityville! So Mayor Dump hires a ghost hunter Gregg G. Allin (G.G. Allin yinz clever bastards) who literally has tens of followers to take care of the death toilet before tourist season starts for Amityville. Pretty much a 71 minute feature with lots of filler could have easily been cut down to 20 minutes as I give this a 1 star.

Track of the Moon Beast (DVD) – A hokey mid-70s film where a small part of a moon rock falls from the sky and lodges itself in this dude Paul that causes him to change into a lizard monster at night. As humans die a local professor and police debate over lizard creatures walking the earth millions of years ago as they try to stop Paul before he eats his way through the locals in this cheesy mess that I am surprised haven’t run into over the years on a horror host show. For that I give it 1 ½ stars.

Subspecies V: Blood Rise (Tubi/DVD) – Charles Band and Ted Nicolaou return to a fan favorite ‘Radu’ who was one their staples in the early days of Full Moon. This story tells the story of Radu shortly after being born is stolen by the church and grows to be a crusader who tracks down evil for a living. But Radu makes a mistake one evening rescuing a woman and her child believing there has been enough death and just coming face to face with his father/master. After several days of trying to help this woman and child, the woman is a vampire and bites Radu thus beginning Radu’s transformation into an evil vampire with no master who thrives on death and destruction. This was a wonderful edition to the “Subspecies” series and makes you wonder why Charles Band can’t get his shit together to make more projects like this that makes you nostalgic for the original Full Moon days but actually have hope of seeing some cool new shit from them. Old Full Moon fans like me will be actually delighted with this entertaining entry as I give it 3 stars.         

Raw Nerve (DVD/YouTube) – An oddball serial killer film that stars: Sandahl Bergman, Tex Cobb, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Traci Lords in 1991 which spells B-movie gold that was most likely a direct-to-video release back in the day? A detective baffled by the mysterious serial killer who has killed over the last several days is known to shoot the women victims in the face. Meanwhile, Jimmy an amateur race car driver has visions of the murders and goes to the police about it but they don’t believe him. Oh did I mention you will know who the killer is five minutes in and there is some weird plot twist about incest? Believe me it is cheesy and weird enough to keep you entertained for 90 minutes as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!