So folks I return to talk the topic of all topics among horror movie fans, ‘Amityville’. I thought I would be writing this six months down the road but I got sidetracked (three years and 29 entries later). Unlike the ‘Witchcraft’ and ‘Bloodfist’ franchises this is taking more time than I thought it would. First time around I questioned if this was an actual franchise? Maybe taking a second look at it, it could be considered the longest running Indy franchise unless you are even a bigger weirdo than me and bring up the reinvented series ‘Camp Blood’ or ‘Things’ but that is a whole other weirdo conversation we can tackle another time. (Gimme a two week period I will track them all down and watch them) So how have I been since tracked down new entries or how has my life changed since I decided to tackle this film series? Well, I am still demented and completely fascinated with this franchise! But a weird thing has happened on social media to me as I have gotten pulled into rando discussions about the ‘Amityville’ series discussing: how many there actually is, what constitutes an entry, to why I still hate Mt. Misery Road? Point is somehow I have become an “expert” on the ‘Amityville’ series and let’s use that term loosely as it is such a hard thing to explain. The one thing I can explain is why I number the entries as too many people are “trying to be the smartest person in the room or on said social media platform” are counting entries that are never made or hell they are not even watching them. Which not watching the film but doing some kind of review is just a weird thing if you are keeping track? And why? And should we seek you some help as I don’t feel like a complete lunatic when pointing that out. (You may laugh now as that part of the rant is done.)
Anyway, before I completely lose focus I wanted to write this article because once again the series has slowed down again but is gearing up for a shitload of potential releases in the next six to eight months including myself, my brother “Famous Actor” Tom Gross, and super talented filmmaker Maddie Deering starting production on: Amityville Fishing Hole and Amityville Neighbor. Weird things have happened in these movies being produced… like are there actual physical copies? Are they even streaming? Why only a select few people have seen it? And most of all if finished why didn’t said person or persons release it to a physical format or streaming platform believe me there is much shitter entries out there! Examples: Tea Bag – The same person that gave us Amityville Frankenstein and Elevator supposedly filmed this entry and its two years old? Another filmmaker claimed to have a film called Amityville Poo already finished or almost finished and that was in 2022? Another title that baffles me is Amityville Sharkhouse… why? Well Shawn Phillips has produced six, seven entries already mostly released by SRS Cinema so why not this film that is again two years old now but not seen by anybody except in this inner West Coast circle of Indy people. And let’s not even get into the subgenre of these most likely shot for YouTube ‘Amityville’ flicks but good luck finding them such as Subhuman: The Amityville Experiment, Amityville Versus Galactic Samurai School Girls from Outer Space, Amityville Webcam. There are pictures, promotion for them all over Google but who the Rutger Hauer actually knows these exist… until I watch them.
Here is a summarized version of some of the entries I have watched since the last article with a few comments and of course all the reviews can be seen at www.grossmoviereviews.com
Amityville: In Space which helped Mark Polonia go viral but I was critical of because he has done better!
Amityville Thanksgiving was just such a boring letdown.
Amityville Scarecrow 2… simply did we actually need a sequel?
Amityville Karen was dead in the water before it even got out there because of its societal reference which there is reasons a project I was going to co-direct and co-produced called Amityville She-shed was a joke for 15 minutes and we smarten up quickly… But that stop me from writing a prequel and turning into a ‘massacre’ story of course.
There was a Quilt Store, a ride-share, a 1977 film renamed under an Amityville title, a curse from Tubi streaming app which jumped into the series feet first, a sad attempt at an Emmanuelle film, a sequel into the ‘Death Toilet’ series, a job interview, Frankenstein, a haunted elevator that almost bored me to death, a bloodbath from a teenager in Florida, A.I. (with a sequel coming) and a Jack the Ripper entry that a solid cast but the filmmaker made the mistake believing he could make a Deadpool entry?
But let me pull yinz back in as then some of the more recent entries got serious, like they got for the love of Rutger Hauer interesting with some real thought behind the entry…
Like entry #59 called The Last Amityville Movie which was one of the most interesting watches as a filmmaker for not much money decided to have a haunted doorknob, a second pandemic, and a way to put an end to the series! Very interesting and creative I must say.
Another entry was about a haunted backpack. It sounds so dumb but found myself not able to turn it off.
Did I happen to mention there was also a sequel to Amityville Thanksgiving called Turkey Day that I questioned if it was an actual movie or just a mess someone threw out there?
Oh yeah there was the Bigfoot entry, I wanted it to be better.
But the two entries that stood out possibly the most besides The Last Amityville Movie was: Once Upon a Time in Amityville which I felt Mark Polonia and crew really did a great job of giving Amityville an origin story but no one even speaks of it. Mark deserves kudos for the mere reason of actually giving a backstory to a series of films that don’t even make a lick of sense. This is where the legendary Mark Polonia shows off his talent not in the entry (In Space) where the internet lost its mind for a week knowing it exists. The second entry would be Amityville Christmas Vacation of course. The ultra-talented Steve Rudzinski literally won a Fango award for it! What more needs to be said other than it starring amazing talents Aleen Isley and Ben Dietels. (Honestly, this was Steve just showing off. Where other filmmakers struggle with the Amityville subject, Steve knew exactly how to make it not just watchable but a holiday treat that many fans have put it into their holiday to watch pile every year now next to a ‘Black Christmas’.
And now folks we get to the stinker of the bunch. The only entry that has gotten close to me saying it is so bad it was as bad as Amityville Mt. Misery Road. That entry is Amityville: Where the Echo Lives that I dare you to watch with Mt. Misery Road and unless you are a complete loon like me you will most likely just stab yourself in the eyeballs! Amityville: Where the Echo Lives went into actual theaters for a weekend? Yep, let that sink in as there are legit bad ass horror films that no one hears about that if they are lucky Shudder finds them and then we scooped this shit. Really Hollywood, not to be critical or anything.
What is next for me as I keep waiting for the next entry? Did I happen to mention there is an entry called Amityville Leprechaun that is on again in production (now five years and counting)? Or Amityville Barbi in production or Amityville Pool Toy Massacre coming or Amityville Aliens, honestly kids if you lasted this long reading an article about me rambling about Amityville films the answer is going to be me being me. I am going to be that guy that will watch bad movies. Always keep track of Amityville films. Support but be critical at times of Indy stuff. Or simply put I will always be Tim Gross and thank you reading.
Wanna help support?
Please come to Grossfest 2025, August 1&2 (check out www.grossfest.com for more info) where you can meet independent actors, artists, authors, and filmmakers. Plus hear me rant about the Amityville series!
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