Gross Movie Reviews #664

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Werewolves (On Demand) – Frank Grillo as Wesley, Katrina Law, and Lou Diamond Phillips are scientists who are working on a cure for humans as a year ago during a super moon anyone exposed to it turned into a werewolf causing chaos. After his brother’s death last year as he was part of the first responders dying trying to control the population the year before, Wesley has taken up taking care of his brother’s family. The experiment to control the wolfing out problem with their “moon screen” starts out promising but after 60 minutes people begin to change as the werewolves are hard to control. With the experiment gone to shit in the lab Wesley must return home to help his dead brother’s family as he gets a distress call. The film is solid but has its flaws (not quite understanding the throw away characters) but think it is a 80s B-movie post-apocalyptic plot meets ‘The Purge’ with werewolves. Sounds interesting, Frank Grillo is great, some cool werewolf shit, but also I feel like this movie is a much bigger mess than we all know as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

Mouse of Horrors (Tubi) – Indeed there is another terrible film loosely based on that Disney mouse character. By the way be warned I have already seen another film slated to be released soon? Anyway a killer mouse mutation stalks its victims at an amusement park to use their body parts for something even more sinister. The killer mouse takes the body parts back to an old crusty dude who supposedly has plans! By the way Winnie the Pooh shows up to pal around a bit for no reason as this movie from the UK just drags ass as the plot seems to be to set up the next kill for the killer mouse. Which isn’t that god damn interesting kids? All in all this entire movie felt like a fan-made feature with no real direction as I give it a fat zero stars.

Rats: Night of Terror (4K Ultra HD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer horror fans if there was ever a movie that deserved me saying, “You can only shine up a turd so much” it is this project as I cannot believe my eyes what Severin Films did with this package! Now don’t get me wrong I absolutely love this cheesy turd of a post-apocalyptic greatness as the quote on the slipcover has proved me correct: “A movie you can tell people about and they’ll say, ‘That’s not a real movie’ but it is. It totally is.” (From Drive-in Asylum) I have talked about this movie for years after I first seen a bootleg in the late 90s that led me buying that early DVD release in the 2000s as that was something that was said to me constantly. Anyway, for those who never had the pleasure the story takes place in 225 A.B. (After the Bomb) where people have lived underground for so long and now a group of unruly individuals want to live above ground where they find an abandoned city. The group enters a building where it looks like humans were sustaining themselves but left suddenly. The group investigates quickly and believes they are saved by this wonderful find. But it doesn’t take long for them to find horribly disfigured bodies and killer rats that seem to have the taste for fresh humans. Within one night the rats attack like a zombie horde forcing the group to survive the oncoming slaughter. It fun, its gory, its Eye-talian of course I love it but this 4K restoration is just beautiful because I never thought in a million years this gritty old looking film could ever be cleaned up? But that is only the tip of the iceberg here horror fans as this 3-disc set has commentaries, a wonderful documentary with the cast talking about Bruno Mattei, several other interesting interviews with cast members talking about their experience on the film, the film’s soundtrack among so much more fun stuff for post-apocalyptic nerds as myself. This package gets 4 stars as I never thought I would be saying “I needed Rats: Night of Terror on 4K”.

Texas Chainsaw Mascara (Blu-ray) – Just another film project from the legendary or infamous Indy filmmaker Bill Zebub. A few out of state horror enthusiasts have traveled to the great state of Texas for some sightseeing. Car breaks down; they argue among them until a lovely local named Heather comes along to offer help. She leads them to her home of the weird to meet her family where quickly the opposing groups don’t get along. After a few words the family gets pissed then proceeds to tie the outsiders up for torture, maybe some bad sex choices and eventually cannibalism of course. By some chance you have never watched a Bill Zebub film his projects are not something you will be comfortable watching as I believe that is always his end goal? Now saying that and have reviewed some of his work in the past I have to say this project just lacks from beginning to end as the cast looked disinterested in their roles as I can only give this film 1 out of 4 stars.

Slaughter Day (Blu-ray) – This is a wonderful Indy SOV gem that got unearthed recently from 1991and was given the special treatment. A couple of young dudes head to a cabin on a Saturday that they are in the process of fixing up only to be met by a violent young man. This is where the film just goes and never stops as you can easily see this was inspired by the ‘Evil Dead’ films with fight scenes, chase scenes (including a homemade car stunt), over the top gags, gore, fun time all around. In the end the duo must faceoff with the Necronomicon at the construction site to end the gory evil chaos. SOV fans are going to enjoy this delightful treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars as maybe its only flaw is the music to the film?

The Downfall of Mr. Difford (DVD) – A 2015 feature written, directed, and stars Matt Jefferson along with a great Indy cast. Thomas Difford or as he likes to be called Mr. Difford, is accused of being a murderer that has been dragged into the police station to be questioned by detectives. But Mr. Difford has the detectives where he wants them as he wants to tell them his stories or conquests of his experiments of seeing blood flow. Mr. Difford doesn’t claim to be insane just misunderstood as Difford has work to do in collecting samples for his work. His stories drive the detectives to the verge of committing a criminal act as if it was part of Mr. Difford’s all along?  Enjoyed the no budget serial killer feel of storytelling but the ending wasn’t what I was exactly thirsting for as if Mr. Jefferson was unsure in how to end his 2015 feature. Indy folks start tracking this delicious gem down as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Wolfman (On Demand) – Universal Studios heads back to reimaging their classics as my fear was they would just tell another origin story of “The Wolf Man” and I was happily wrong to say. The backstory of the film is set in rural mountains of Oregon, 1995, where a hiker has disappeared in the woods. The few people that live there believe he maybe “the face of the wolf” that has been an urban legend in those parts. Blake remembering this as a kid remembers his father being very fierce about this being real. Now thirty years later Blake and his family are heading back to the old farm to collect his father’s things as Blake’s father has been declared dead. After an accident has the moving truck stuck in a tree Blake is attacked by a creature while getting his family to safety. The family makes it the old farm house hoping to stay put for the night so at daybreak they can find help but this unknown creature stalks the farm house looking for a way in. Meanwhile, inside Blake begins to slowly transform into something animal-like scaring his family as they may have to fight Blake and the animal thing outside to escape. I liked the movie but didn’t love it but the one thing I wanted them to do they did as they gave me a different story to digest than the usual remake garbage. I enjoyed this for more of its non-traditional take on famous character as the film directs most of its attention on family not the creature oddly enough for that I give it a respectful 3 stars.    

Trick or Treat (4K Ultra HD) – This special treatment of such a cultish 80s horror film has been something horror movie fans have waited a long time for. Red Shirt Pictures and Synapse Films teamed up to bring their masterpiece of an extras filled special edition version of Trick or Treat movie to 4K.  It is all wonderful but before we get into that lets go over the film itself for some horror fans that haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying. The plot involves a teenager played by Marc Price named Eddie who is an outcast at high school for being a metalhead. If not fighting with the school bully and his friends isn’t enough his favorite metal singer Sammi Curr has just died in a fire that just angers Eddie to no end. In pops a DJ played by none other Gene Simmons, who gives Eddie a record of Sammi Curr’s which has never been heard. Eddie takes it home and of course plays it backwards as Sammi begins to talk to Eddie. Sammi Curr has found a way to come back to life thanks to Eddie to get back at Eddie’s bullies. But has it gone too far and can Eddie stop the undead rocker from killing everyone in town? Great music, great story, and yes an appearance by Ozzy Osborne as an evangelist on TV against metal music doesn’t hurt either made this one those “perfect horror movies” for the time it was released. Now this 4K release has everything fans could imagine that includes: three commentaries, an absolutely informative 81 minute documentary about the making of the film that includes an interview with Gene Simmons and how Hollywood came to Wilmington, North Carolina, (Michael Felsher’s thoughts as a 13 year old when this film was released were spot on) all the old trailers, an episode of Hallowed Horror Grounds of visiting the set locations, After Midnight music video starring Tony Fields as Sammi Curr, and a segment called ‘Tribute to Tony Fields’ which may bring a tear to your eye as they interview Tony’s family after all these years and discuss his death. Also what really pops about this transfer is the restoration of the film is just perfect: not too bright, but colorful if that makes sense. Folks, Synapse and Michael Felsher have done a superb job of finally bringing this piece of entertaining horror history to physical media as I give it 4 out of 4 stars all the way. The 4k version is up for sale at www.synapsefilms.com .

Night Wolf (YouTube) – This 2010 UK film had its title changed from ‘13 hrs.’ to ‘Night Wolf’ most likely to be an easier sell to horror movie fans? But anyway Sarah was working in the U.S. for several months but has come back home to her small village to hang with family and friends for a small vacation. The group once together heads inside their old house only to find a bloody surprise of their father torn to shreds in bed and an animal that will stop at nothing to slaughter the group. The group finds a hiding spot in the attic and behind the walls of the old house so they can try to survive the animal’s terror during the stormy night. The subplot of the film is all about family and there is an excellent scene involving a character and a self-inflicted shotgun blast! A solid creature feature that I give 2 ½ stars too.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #636

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Realm of Shadows (YouTube/DVD) – An anthology of sorts of the weird, the occult, or the abstract where four ladies sit around a Ouija board for evil reasons and the board tells stories as it supposedly opens an evil realm. All the segments are quick, interconnect, and the anthology unlike most gets out in less than 90 minutes. Along the way we even get an appearance from the legendary Tony Todd, and the wonderfully exciting Vernon Wells. I guess you could say the film goes more for playing on fear than trying for the sheer terror aspect? This film doesn’t come off as an anthology for the straight up die hard horror fan as much as the occasional movie viewer who looks to wet their horror appetite once or twice a year outside of Halloween with Tubi or Netflix. Having the two known celebs on the cover won’t hurt so for that I gotta give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Third Saturday in October Part V (Shudder) – The opening credits explain a little bit of what has gone on since the last Jack Harding killing spree as we see him disappear in 1979 at the end of the first film. But now the franchise has spawned a few successful sequels and this is the fourth one set in 1994. Harding terrorized Hackleburg, Alabama every year during the time 1979 to 1987 and of course the third Saturday of October then disappeared again. Harding has returned again to begin his killing spree, as the football rivalry continues so does Jack Harding. This entry is a straight up slasher in the sense of just piling up bodies more than adding to the mythos or bringing back characters that were fun to get to know during the first film. This entry isn’t at all terrible but not the follow up I wanted if that makes sense as I was expecting a continuation of characters and what not as this went the way of the  “Friday the 13th” sequels but maybe that was the plan from the beginning? Consider me a little disappointed but still a solid horror film as I can only give this 2 ½ stars.

Alien Seed (VHS/YouTube) – It’s 1990, we got Erik Estrada, and this low budget direct-to-video trash precursor to “The X-files” storyline… You have my attention! Lisa’s sister is having strange dreams and visions before her untimely death, now Lisa is feeling very different like something has happened to her more than losing a sister? Dr. Stone comes a sniffing around to continue his ‘evil work’ secretly along with an author, Mark Timmons, who now is very interested in Lisa as he believes Lisa and her sister were abducted by aliens. But what complicates things besides the government wanting to get involved is Lisa being prego with an alien baby that two ‘men in black’ that can only afford driving a black Ford Tempo are trying to track her down. If you are old enough to remember outside of the Ford Pinto of the 80s, the Ford Tempo was the next hot piece of garbage Ford tried selling to consumers. Speaking of hot garbage this movie is bad but a hilarious fun bad if you remember renting these direct-to-video cult classics as for the love of Rutger Hauer it stars Erik Estrada that alone gets you 2 stars.

The Last Vampire on Earth (DVD) – On what Lord Rutger Hauer’s green earth did someone think this ultra-low budget “Twilight” trash think this was a good idea? This is a story in 2010 about a vampire boy having a relationship with a Christian girl who just so happen to have AIDS. It’s dumb, it’s overdramatic, Preacher dad wants to kill said vamp, and oh yeah let’s not forget the two are doing a “Dracula” college play! Let me whip this DVD into the trash and set it on fire as consider yourself warned if you even dare to attempt this turd as I give it nothing!

TRET (DVD) – So independent filmmaker Matthew Diulus decided to delight horror fans with a tale of Halloween horror that runs a little over 17 minutes. This tale of terror deals with a person disrespecting another person’s Halloween decorations and candy bowl thus there is consequences for this action? Break the rules you must choose ‘Trick or Tret’? So if there is anything to take away from this delightful scare it’s always respect people’s Halloween stuff as this was a wisely casted, performed, and crafted Halloween horror short that I got to give 4 out of 4 stars.

Summer of Fear (Blu-ray) – A Wes Craven TV movie production from 1978 that stars Linda Blair as Rachel who gets a surprise for the summer as her cousin Julia moves in after the untimely death of her mum. As Julia settles in strange little things begin to happen that only Rachel is noticing including her boyfriend played by Jeff East being stolen away. Everyone else believes Rachel is just overreacting and needs to just go with the flow. But Rachel refuses and gets help from her professor friend down the road to help her prove Julia is into the witchcraft and using it for no good. It’s your typical TV movie horror but a fun look back at seeing Fran Drescher playing Linda Blair’s best friend. Also the movie was titled at one time “Stranger in Our House” and did pretty well in the ratings when it first aired as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (On Demand) – Round two of Kong and Godzilla has the titans living worlds apart. Kong is exploring Hollow Earth as Godzilla keeps Earth safe from giant creatures who show up to destroy cities. But Monarch goes exploring Hollow Earth after they are getting some strange signals and Godzilla seems to be powering up for something big? Kong and others discover another realm in Hallow Earth and become disturbed because the ancients tell a story of a Scar Kong that wants revenge and send the Earthly realm into darkness. Now Monarch must get Kong and Godzilla on the same side to go to war with this new threat. It is a big budget fun popcorn movie but I am to tell everyone I enjoyed it but it is such a far cry from greatness like “Godzilla Minus One” as that film has changed the landscape for the “Godzilla” franchise as I give this 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews shows up on the new TOETAG webpage

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Got some time? Go check out the article I written about my experience with Joe Bob Briggs at The Hollywood Theater:

http://toetag.biz/joe-bob-briggs-hollywood-theater/

And... yeah this happened!

And… yeah this happened!

Join the one and only Joe Bob Briggs at our annual Hollywood Theater Halloween Party on Saturday, October 17th!

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Film critic, writer and comic performer, Joe Bob was a contributing editor to the National Lampoon, freelance writer for Rolling Stone, Playboy, the Village Voice, and Interview, and a commentator on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show. But he is perhaps best known and loved for his stint as the redneck Texan with an avowed love of the drive-in on the tv program Joe Bob’s Drive-In Theater on The Movie Channel, and MonsterVision on TNT. When we asked Joe Bob what film he wanted to show to our patrons, he said TRICK OR TREAT, the 1986 immortal classic horror film directed by Michael S. Murphey (that actor from Never Cry Wolf and American Graffiti), and starring Marc Price (Skippy from Family Ties), with cameos by none other than Ozzy Ozbourne and Gene Simmons. And we tracked down a rare 35mm print to show that night! We’ll have scary treats and a costume contest with prizes. Doors open at 6pm for photos and autographs with Joe Bob (for whatever fee he charges). Costume prizes and the intro at 8pm, and the film rolls after. Tickets are $12 all seats, or just $8 for our Members! No passes or discounts.

Joe Bob

Saturday at 8:00pm

The Hollywood Theater in Dormont

1449 Potomac Ave, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15216

Tickets Available

www.showclix.com

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/518396854994409/

Just an example of what we are in for this Saturday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-WhOgJCf9k