Gross Movie Reviews #634

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Late Night with the Devil (Shudder) – Late night host Jack Delroy hosts a late night show called “Night Owls” and on Halloween 1977 it was his last show. The master tape had been lost until recently and now this tape is out there for all of us to see what really happen that night? Leading up to that night Jack’s ratings had been falling drastically especially after the death of his wife. But this show was the one that was supposed to get him back to competing with Johnny Carson again as this Halloween night Jack has a medium, an expert that tries to disprove anything paranormal or magical, and a doctor with a young patient who had been a part of a satanic cult. All this comes together with Lily the young woman becoming possessed on live TV and all hell breaks loose. I like everything about this movie but didn’t love it as the last few minutes of it takes away from the beginning or the set-up of this whole film? I still give this interesting piece 3 stars and hope horror fans enjoy this for what it is…

Red Tide Massacre (DVD) – Yes indeed kids I have found another massacre flick in which John Russo directed surprisingly and Michael Pare stars. The premise of this ‘massacre’ is 2018 Florida as the deadly red tide moves in an escaped convict makes his way through the swamp to hopefully escape the local authorities? In the process he does get tracked down and shot but falls into a stream where he disappears only to reappear some time later starting to mutate from the red tide that has come in to wreak havoc on humans and the environment. As he mutates into a hideous creature, it now begins a killing spree on a local beach and becomes part of an urban legend “the skunk ape”. Of course the film has that old SyFy channel formula of a love story to move the film along (actually it drags this compelling massacre flick down) as the end result of the creature makes this an actual watchable John Russo flick! If you know me I don’t usually say that about any John Russo film as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Super Hybrid (DVD) – Holy shit horror fans where has this 2010 film been hiding all my life as I could literally review this film as: Imagine 1977s The Car meets Deep Rising… SOLD! A driverless old black Chevy Nova is in a terrible car accident one evening in Chicago. The vehicle is towed to the Chicago impound garage to be stored but quickly the car begins to fix itself as the employees don’t think too much of it as they have their own shit to contend with. As the garage employees begin their work that night strange noises and things begin to happen around this car as this car lives for murder. But what makes this intriguing as they become locked into the garage for the night this car not only lives for murder but also is able to change car models when another is near it to hide in plain sight. Also it doesn’t take long for the employees to figure out this driverless car is driven by something that is alive! The film has a few imperfections but this has an insane plot, great cars, and cool stunt work that makes you question why wasn’t this film hyped up a lot more over a decade ago? Horror fans do yourself a favor and track this down as I give this film 4 stars and most likely to be in my “top ten movies” for 2024!

Disgusteen (YouTube/DVD-R) – A really bad, gritty, but fun 1990 SOV flick from the front man of a punk band Ben Weasel about punks who kidnap a young lady Elizabeth who refuses to accept Jesus Christ as her savior and gets involved with vampire punks. The story involves lots of punk music, bad acting, bad effects, and Elizabeth enjoying her new life as a vampire until the one that made her master comes along to destroy the clan. It is pretty much what you expect from a backyard filmmaking SOV film as I give it 2 stars.

Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks (DVD) – A 2018 film that might be one of the worst things I have watched since “Amityville Mt. Misery Rd.” This was absolute crap! A trio of young ladies head to a cheerleader camp that is on a movie lot only to have their camp invaded by the three stooges of criminals because they hid their stash there! Complete nonsense happens as a dog is traded for the stash and no one dies by chainsaws… hell there is only three cheerleaders in the movie the exception is a quick edit of another team in another room for five seconds. This is a case of the filmmaker believes they are smarter and funnier than the audience and breaking news they are not. I hate to say this if anything this is a prime example of a movie that not only insults actual independent filmmakers but gives Indy films a bad name. Be aware I have already found the “WORST FILM I HAVE WATCHED IN 2024 ALREADY” as I give this 0 stars.

Death Watch (DVD) – A rare 1980 post-apocalyptic film of sorts that I never heard of? A movie with some terrific actors and a plot that people may relate to more than ever as this is set sometime in the future. It really isn’t said but assumed as Harvey Keitel is a man who as a reporter that has an experimental surgery of a camera being surgically implanted in his brain and eyes. This is so he can become part of the daily hit show “Death Watch”. To help explain this future: people only die of old age these days as it is very rare people die of an illness as that has all been cured in the world. Thus giving this set up an intriguing plot twist as an author has just been given her death sentence. In this case now the TV station that runs “Death Watch” series wants to sign her so it can chronicle her last days alive as people are fascinated by this and will tune in. At first Katherine is not fine becoming an instant celebrity but eventually signs off and runs away as it becomes increasing hard to deal with feeling trapped in her house. Harvey’s character being the great reporter he is tracks her down as she runs away with them becoming friends as she has one goal she wants to accomplish before she leaves this cruel world. But there is a wonderful kick to the groin twist in the last twenty minutes that makes this film more relevant in 2024 than 1980 that will make you want to rewatch this film several times as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Godzilla Minus One (On Demand) – Best way to explain this film: This is the remake of Godzilla, Tim Gross always wanted! But let’s tell you a little about it anyway. The main plot of the film revolves around a Japanese fighter pilot who in 1943 first encounters Godzilla on an island. Soon after the war ends in 1945 he returns home to devastation of his land and his family dead but also still haunted by the nightmares of Godzilla on the island. He tries to rebuild with a woman and a child who are survivors of the war with nowhere to go. As a couple years pass and the rebuilding of cities in Japan begin he finds a dangerous job on the sea picking up mines that were left from the war and this is where he meets the Godzilla creature again only to be bigger and much stronger than ever before. As Godzilla rips a part a Japanese city within seconds and disappears again, the Japanese people decide they cannot wait for any government to jump in help they must come up with a plan to destroy this mutated creature sooner than later. What makes this Godzilla more special in my opinion than a lot of the Godzilla films we grew up with or remakes of the 90s is the Japanese people are not just set pieces running away from Godzilla. This fighter pilot being haunted by nightmares of Godzilla and even believing Godzilla is following him in some way makes this a much different plot than what I believe we have seen before? Yeah there have been some cool recent reincarnations of Godzilla but this project literally reached into my brain and said we are going to give you the perfect combo: the iconic music, out of this world effects (no cheesy Godzilla but that will always have a place in my movie heart), a plot that finally or truly is about humans and not just Godzilla, but making Godzilla what he always was supposed to be since he showed up on screen in the 50s… an absolute bad ass unstoppable creature that gives you chills when he hits the screen! For this folks I absolutely give this 4 stars and thank you Toho.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #460

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Gross Movie Reviews #460

 

Anna and the Apocalypse (On Demand) – This is film is an absolute godsend from Scotland that smartly blends “High School Musical” and zombies in a fun and exciting way. Anna Shepard is going to be graduating soon and unlike her best friend who is going off to college she wants to travel. Of course her father isn’t all to happy and all Anna wants to do is get people out of ‘Thunder Balls’ bowling alley sooner than later. Anna and friends not caring or not paying attention to the rest of the world as a strange virus has struck all the major cities and turning people into zombies. Once a lot of singing about their lives is done in the first 30 minutes of the film the group of friends are faced with the end of the world. The end of the world is bloody and brutal but don’t let this film fool you as certain characters die off when you are not expecting. I absolutely loved the flow of the horror musical and how it is presented. Good chance this will show up my ‘Best of 2019’ as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Car: Road to Revenge (DVD) – Yes folks it is a sequel to the evil classic of the late 70s. But that is where it ends as I may have found the ‘worst movie of 2019’ already! After a district attorney dies on top of his new ‘Lazarus One’ it appears the car comes to life and has his personality. It begins murdering all involved… Boring piece of monkey shit needs to vaporized from any studio catalog or movie fan’s as I give it zero stars. And for the person who thought somewhere this was a good idea do me and all movie lovers a favor and quit your job… NOW!

Hexercise (Blu-ray/DVD) – So you claim you have seen everything? I bet you haven’t as a very talented Matt Cannon did a perfect job of bringing to life this homage to ‘aerobic horror movies’ from the late 80s. In August of 1969 a blood ritual is performed where the aerobics studio stands but it is stopped before completion. Twenty years pass and now there is a workout studio existing where a cute aerobics instructor named Kelly pricks her finger with her name tag. She bleeds on her boom box and floor and like black magic the ritual is back on! With this act Kelly has unleashed a demonic presence that is trying to kill all who work or attend the aerobics studio, including Kelly’s rapey boss. Everything is right about this film: the outfits, what I believe is a Commodore 64, lava lamp, T.V. and even the music makes this short film feel right. The twist on this homage is there is no dialogue as the actions of the characters tell the story. The film is in the same vein as the mid-2000s short film “The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy” and to me that is freakin awesome! I got to thank Matt Cannon for giving us horror freaks something we didn’t know we needed as I give this wonderful project 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on the film check out: www.facebook.com/Hexerciseordie .

 

Cold Skin (Shudder) – A way cool weirdo creature feature involving lighthouse keepers in the early 1900s. A young lad arrives to an island to relive a crackpot named Gruener. Gruener refuses to leave and wants to stay no matter what anyone says. But as the first nightfall begins the young lad soon understands Gruener isn’t a crackpot as some weird creatures come from the sea to land. Now homeless the young lad shacks up with Gruener learning secrets about the creatures and Gruener. A weird and twisted creature feature about the two lead characters coping with whether the creatures are there to cause harm or in the end actually live in peace. An amazing story that starts slow but grips you by the privates as it unfolds as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (DVD) – An early funky 70s flick about Dracula where the authorities believe some of the prominent members of the community are part of a secret cult. When they begin investigating and get old Van Helsing they soon understand that Dracula is back and behind everything. But this isn’t Dracula’s old routine of wanting more vamps or some other non-sense. Dracula has scientists, biologists, etc. working on virus that is worse the ‘black plague’ something that would end the world including himself. Interesting plot twist this time around as it involves Van Helsing trying to lure Dracula to his death in some jaggerbushes! Yes they are real and I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Giant Spider Invasion (DVD) – Some strange occurrences have happened in the sky over a small Wisconsin town that has a couple scientists baffled. While they investigate what this event is all about apparently flesh-eating spiders of all sizes begin to invade the town for lunch! The scientists find a mini-black hole on the Kester farm and must act fast to close it or these spiders will grow in numbers. Some incest and some large ass spiders make it worth the watch but you have to fight through some very dull parts of the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bullied (DVD/YouTube) – A short film from a brilliant Nick Charles where a girl is bullied. The girl does the right thing and tells an adult about it but when it is ignored the little girl takes things into her own hands. A well said statement short film Mr. Charles as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

A Cold Night’s Death (YouTube) – An oddly familiar 1973 TV movie starring Eli Wallach and Robert Culp who play scientists that head to the Tower Mountain Research Center after losing contact with Dr. Vogel. It has been five days since they last heard from him and their research on monkeys is needed for space travel. The two soon find a dead Dr. Vogel and continue his work in order to finish the project in time. But some haunting things begin to happen as the days go by and it has been relayed to them that Dr. Vogel did not die of a heart attack but just mere exposure to the cold in a locked room with no one else. As the two keep fighting amongst themselves the answer is right in front of them but they figure it out to late. A fun flick to watch during a cold winter night as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Wars (DVD) – A 2015 post-apocalyptic flick from Asylum Entertainment that starts off wonderful involving a man who shows up in the wasteland with no memory. It is explained the world has gone to shit because of a virus that turns people into vamp-like zombie creatures. The virus acts like rabies of sorts that make them thirst for blood and stay out of the daylight. After the no-name man is taken in by a small group of survivors they make the decision to travel somewhere that a vaccine could be made or least tried. Problem is as I explain it sounds like a fun B-flick but it terribly falls apart as it is all over the place plot wise. Instead of trying to be its own movie it chooses to steal from several post-apocalyptic films and never fully committing to one storyline. Thus causing what could have been a fun B-flick to watch to a dog turd you wish would dry up and wish you never knew it existed as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019