Gross Movie Reviews #698

0

Robot Ninja (Blu-ray) – “This review was written in 2014 after I got ahold of an old VHS copy I borrowed from someone…before there was this Blu-ray but go into detail about the extras.” In the age of weird, horrible, obscure low budget VHS movies getting legit releases and special VHS/DVD combo releases I am very surprised there is never been any news on this relatively lesser known gory comic bookish horror film. J. R. Bookwalter’s second feature was made in four months and $15,000, a lot less than his first feature “The Dead Next Door”. The film revolves around comic book artist Lenny who is upset with his agent selling the rights of the comic to NBC for a weekly series now being pressured by his boss to start making the comic book more like the weekly series. This makes Lenny go over the edge to become the real life “Robot Ninja” after he tries to stop three individuals from raping a couple on the edge of a freeway. He has the costume made; he is taking a massive amount of drugs, it’s time for Lenny/Robot Ninja to take to the streets looking for revenge! The film is a disgustingly fun time for J.R.’s second effort. I give the movie 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The film also boasts appearances from Linnea Quigley, Burt Ward, and Scott Spiegel. I remember first seeing the film in 1990 when I helped a video store (Movietime) order it out of the Cinema Home Video catalog. Now we fast forward many years and there is this wonderful 2K restoration of the film which looks absolutely beautiful. But the gem of this package is the extras besides seeing the movie much different than us weirdos remember seeing a couple decades back. The extras include several interviews with cast members in 1999/2000, two commentaries, and my favorite thing which made me so happy to now own this version is an interview with J.R. Bookwalter explaining why it took so long and how he has a new appreciation for this film as I do too. Thank you to J.R. and all that were involved in this process as this Blu-ray was just perfect!

Sons of Steel (Blu-ray) – Digging deep into the post-apocalyptic genre for this one as I first reviewed it a couple years back before I knew an American Blu-ray version was available: Thank you Shudder for helping me find more Australian weirdness! This 1988 flick is in the somewhat futuristic land where a rock front man Black Alice runs things but he is also a peace activist. One night a suspicious boat comes into the Sydney harbor while Black Alice is forced into becoming an experimental hologram and released 113 years later in a world that was destroyed by nuclear war. Now Black Alice has ten hours to live which is a side effect of the hologram thingy to find a way back to his time and stop everything from going boom? Think “Repo Genetic Opera” (kind of) decades before it was made might be the best way to describe the weirdness as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. This Blu-ray restoration spruced up the colors of the film but has an absolutely informative segment with Gary L. Keady explaining why America never seen this flick until the last few years, great stuff in my opinion.

Commando Ninja 2: Invasion America (Tubi) – A few years have passed since the glorious original was made. Surprisingly it wasn’t too long after this international fun mockery of the 80s action feature told the internet there would be a sequel? But it was quiet for a good long time until the past couple weeks the legendary original film and its sequel showed up on Tubi for all in the world to finally witness the glory! So the sequel picks up in 1990 America where somehow there is Vietnamese soldiers buying weapons on American soil. After a terrorist attack on a military graduation the hero John Hunter is thrust back into action and tracks down where these Vietnamese are disappearing… John and friends head down a tunnel into earth that transports them to Vietnam where somehow dinosaurs thrive and the Vietnamese and Russians have captured Marines. This is where the real chaos begins as we got Vietnam, flashbacks, zombies, cyborgs, experiments on P.O.W.s, and a villain that reminds me the evil dude in the Inspector Gadget cartoon. It’s hilarious, gory, but overstays its welcome as it runs two hours long. I love the concept but sometimes you got to know when enough is enough as I can only give this action flick 3 stars.

Burglar from Hell (Blu-ray) – A Phil Herman SOV classic that was revived recently with this crazy ass packed special edition Blu-ray that has everything from a new transfer of the independent classic to a commentary with Phil “Chip” Herman to a wonderful interview with the legendary Debbie D, Barry Gaines, Bryant Sohl to the unreleased first film of Phil Herman called ‘The Wrong Side of Town’ which in my opinion is a delightful underrated no budget picture that is highly recommended for all first time filmmakers. But back to this classic tale that is set years after the terrible home invasion from Frank that goes wrong. Years after the event friends vacation at the home only for a young lady to conjure up Frank the Tank back from the dead to terrorize all who decided to come to the home. The story takes a bit of time to build but it’s better for the plot in the long run and has a high body count. The classic project is rough, entertaining, completely wild, and no denying that Phil Herman was going to become a legend among independent filmmakers with unique work like this as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Stoop (Vimeo) – Soon coming to a format or streaming site near you is this odd but interesting non-horror film that had my full attention from the beginning as the plot revolves around Amos Dibble. Mr. Dibble has OCD but has found a way to carve out a life and work life that he is able to control to his benefit. But one day Mr. Dibble’s life is literally thrown into chaos when a cute young lady sits on Dibble’s front steps. You have to understand the condition and circumstances as this is devastating to Amos as it can send his life into chaos. These steps are very private to him as they are his getaway place from everything. But a funny thing happens to Amos as he becomes intrigued with the why, how, when she is going to be there? On top of that she converses with Amos not noticing his condition as he struggles with this new concept. It isn’t just difficult for Amos; it can be scary as hell as he finds himself changing routine just to catch glimpses or even sit next to the young woman. Amos soon finds himself complicating his uncomplicated life to be with her, to be more for her in this adorable and wonderful adventure in love. The chemistry between Brian Moore Ward and Aysiha Stephenson is golden as Mr. Dibble cannot deny “she is the missing ingredient” in this must see feature I give 3 out of 4 stars.

Blue Sunshine (4K/UHD) – Oh Synapse I love yinz releasing this Jeff Lieberman classic that is seen more of a classic now than when it was first released with the subject matter it dealt with into 4K. Mr. Lieberman stirs the pot with this project as even with his new introduction makes I smile as we get to watch this glorious restoration that involves C.I.A. experiments in the sixties. The plot of this important film begins with a man at a party who hid his hair loss and goes psycho on three women only fight with his friend Jerry to the death. Quickly from there Jerry is on the run and must act quickly to clear his name as authorities believe he is a murderer. With a little help from a friend Jerry slowly connects the dots of the tragic event at the lodge that sent him on the run. The connection is a drug called “Blue Sunshine” that was taken ten years before at Stanford University and now (1977) the people who took part in the acid have become violent and lost all their hair. Its real, hard-hitting, and more relevant now in my opinion than then! Along with this great film you get two commentaries (one of them with Jeff Lieberman and Howard S. Berger discussing things), all kinds of interviews with Mr. Lieberman, two old anti-drug films, and two versions of “The Ringer” giving Lieberman fans hours of content to ingest and debate as I give the package 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #641

2

The First Omen (On Demand) – So they reached deep in the bag on this one… a prequel to a series that started in 1976. I would have loved to be in that pitch meeting especially since the remake failed many years ago. Anyway it is Rome, Italy 1971, where a young woman Sister Maggie who has devoted her life to the church is on her way to taking her vows. The former Father Brennan (the opening scene sets up this character) seeks out Maggie to warn her about a teenager Carlita who is in the orphanage that the church runs and Maggie will be spending her time learning at. The former Father Brennan finally convinces Maggie to meet with him and explain that there is a conspiracy within the church as people have lost faith worldwide? So in order to get people’s faith back let’s bring forth the “Antichrist”! Thus reason for Carlita to be watched carefully as the movie unfolds as she will be an unwilling participate in the birth of the Antichrist. Up until now the church’s plan has failed as there only have been female children as they need a male child. But as Sister Maggie scrambles to “look for the mark” an even darker secret is unveiled to tie all in what the grand plan actual is? To be honest, I am surprised I liked this fucking movie. Prequel to a film series that really ended in the early 80s with ‘The Final Conflict’ (no I do not count part four as that was a super absurd turd)  I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and have that same feeling after watching ‘The Thing’ prequel from like a decade ago or so? But noooooo, this movie felt like it stood on its own, it was surprisingly interesting, bloody as hell, and they tied it into the 1976 classic without it feeling forced like some prequels to other movie series that have come before it. Horror fans solid effort here so give this one a chance as I give it 3 stars.

Scream (DVD) – No, not the more recent series with “Ghostface”. This is the lesser known low budget slasher from the early 80s that probably the last time I seen it was picking up a dusty ass VH box off the bottom rack of the horror section of “Movietime” rental store in like 1988? This focuses on a group of people rafting to an abandoned mining town and setting up camp. Of course overnight someone begins to kill one by one leaving the people to point the fingers at each other? The film can be a little boring with little blood and let’s not forget the odd choice of music that makes this slasher feel at times like a lost “After School Special”. Also too for those who like me that will always have that urge to watch every 80s horror film this film this was also released under the title “The Outing” as I give it 2 stars.

Waspzilla (Waveawesome) – A new Indy film that seem only (for now) got released on another free streaming platform that stars one of the most talked about Indy actors going these days in Angela Bradford, along with Morrigan Thompson, Clint Beaver, and Matt Skinner (way to go dude). Some yahoo shoots a toxic waste barrel causing a wasp to be infected by the toxic mess and of course mutate! A deputy and a rookie (who look like extras from an early Chris Seaver film) are called into action to investigate this horrible thing in the backwoods. When the two are not busy chasing the giant wasp topless the mutated wasp is shooting freakin fire from its ass to annihilate humans. If needed more, literally a sting from this creature makes its victims implode except for the sheriff near the end of the film because you know that is needed for the plot. Yeah the film is full of plot holes, yeah the wasp is completely computerized and only has like three actions other than shooting fire from its ass, yeah wearing those pleather yellow outfits for a deputy and rookie don’t make any sense, but did you know there is a topless housecleaning scene that makes even less sense in the movie? If you are looking for your Indy horror to not make a ton of sense but make you laugh several times I suggest this flick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

The Lamp (Shudder) – This 1987 feature also known as ‘The Outing’ recently got the Blu-ray treatment and being rediscovered by horror fans on Shudder. For me this was one of those late night “Skinamax” features I always caught on late Friday or Saturday night so of course I have a soft spot for it. Forgive me for only remembering the last 30 minutes of this movie but it is with kids sneaking into a museum after hours to party horror formula. The story begins with degenerates breaking into an old woman’s house finding “the lamp” and unleashing the evil in it causing their deaths. Short time after it ends up at a museum where some kids decide to sneak in after hours to stay overnight to party. Problem is the Djinn has already done its damage and now wants to slaughter the kids before it is forced back into the lamp. A fun but uneven horror film with a cool creature, some fun kills, and a great poster that many older horror fans remember hanging up in the video stores as I give it 3 stars.

Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

Fatal Games (DVD) – Some young athletes at a special school for training for nationals and hopefully the Olympics find themselves being stalked by an unknown killer. Yeah all the athletes are very competitive and banging each other’s brains out but this killer only uses a javelin to kill their victims even it means they must use scuba gear to get a girl in a pool! This slasher is unintentionally hilarious on so many levels making it that much more entertaining. Example: Pay attention to the shower scene? It’s the usual 80s nudity the women are completely nude in the background but when they switch to the men’s showers there is dudes in jock straps getting showers… what am I missing here? Let the dong fly! Let alone that just seems weird wearing your jock strap in the shower (coming from the guy who has taken a beer in the shower with him). A fun old school slasher that is worth the revisit as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sons of Steel (Shudder) – Thank you Shudder for helping me find more Australian weirdness! This 1988 flick is in the somewhat futuristic land where a rock front man Black Alice runs things but he is also a peace activist. One night a suspicious boat comes into the Sydney harbor while Black Alice is forced into becoming an experimental hologram and released 113 years later in a world that was destroyed by nuclear war. Now Black Alice has ten hours to live which is a side effect of the hologram thingy to find a way back to his time and stop everything from going boom? Think “Repo Genetic Opera” (kind of) decades before it was made might be the best way to describe the weirdness as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Prey (DVD) – Like ‘The Outing’ the title ‘Prey’ is used so often as an alternate movie title so you usually find yourself like now describing which movie it is before even talking about the actual film. This one is another lesser known slasher that was made in 1979 but never got released until 1983 about a group of three couples going camping in the North point Mountains. Forest rangers are a little leery of people traveling there since the fires a couple decades back that killed a gypsy family living in a cave. Doesn’t take long for the group to feel someone is watching as it’s revealed late in the film it is disfigured giant of a human with an ax! It doesn’t vary from the slasher formula we all grew up with but also doesn’t overstay its welcome at 80 minutes. There is a longer version out there but I will let you research that as there are varying questions why this film took so long to be released as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!