Gross Movie Reviews #694

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Transylvania Tapes (DVD) – Latest project from the talented independent soul Brad Sykes takes us to Bucharest! A dramatic horror found footage/documentary mash up that follows a young woman Mara was born in Romania but moved to L.A. when she was very young. After a family member died in the past year she found tapes of what her mother made in 1997 looking for a possible family property but disappeared mysteriously. Mara travels across the world to make a documentary about her following in her mother’s footsteps to also hopefully find some answers. Mara’s mother was an actress and in theater during the 80s and was very popular in the area as she uses this to help track down some old peers of her mother’s to interview. As Mara gets deep with some of these interviews a curse is mentioned several times which of course Mara refuses to listen to warnings about looking for her mother. The film is quite intriguing and beautiful as this somewhat found footage film comes off genuine compared to many from the past. What also helps this project along is the actor that plays Mara; Valeria Badiuc absolutely has a natural charm that lures you in to be interested in her journey. Now I was a little upset Charles Band or his castle were not in the film and the film runs a little long for me at 109 minutes but Ms. Badiuc’s performance and Mr. Sykes using the beautiful landscape and buildings as a character itself lends this to be a must watch independent film in 2026! I give this light mash up 3 out of 4 stars.

Coven of the Black Cube (Blu-ray) – There was all kinds of cool people from the independent genre that show up in this old school no budget vibe kind of flick. The film revolves a young woman questioning her relationship as she meets the head of a coven named Clover who legit seems to have real concern for the young woman VI. Clover actually sees potential in VI in allowing her into her witchy life for better understanding of what can be better than what she has become accustomed too. The only thing VI doesn’t know is Clover takes great pleasure in helping women kill their husbands/boyfriends with a potion she has come up with. The story at its core is all about Clover being a serial killer with this witchery stuff as the background that is mixed into a very perverse love story that wasn’t meant to be as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Oath (DVD) – A Troma release from 2011 that has friends who tell a story about an urban legend then go looking for it to see if it is at all true? The slim backstory is that a deranged child lives in the woods looking for victims that come to this cabin. Of course said group of friends find the cabin and slowly they are slaughtered by this hulking deranged killer. Not a ton to this bare bones slasher film but also might be why not many of seek it out for a watch as I can only give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Zombies of the Third Reich (Tubi) – It is war time and the Nazis are under extreme pressure by their relentless leader to create super soldiers in some unknown French bunker! Problem is the bunker has gone quiet recently as the Allies were keeping tabs and fear the worst as they send in a recon/rescue team to get one of their own out. The special team gets in quickly but soon understands getting in was never the problem as getting out will be as the Nazi experiment cannot get out in the real world. Believe me you read about this film and will wanna see it and hope it’s even a fraction of ‘Dead Snow’ or ‘Outpost’ but it doesn’t even come close. The film from the beginning fails from poor execution or just plain laziness of getting this project together. Not so much of the characters but everything around them. If you watch you’ll understand and want to forget it as quickly as you chose to watch it as I give it a ½ star.

Island Escape (Tubi) – A team of mercenaries is dropped onto a mysterious island to rescue a scientist where an unknown experiment has been going on for decades. Once the team arrives they immediately find some mysterious but monstrous foes that seem hell bent on attacking the team. In a short span of time the team figures out they have been dropped into an insane wormhole experiment that resets the island every three days and they cannot escape the ongoing experiment. As time quickly goes by the team understands there is multiple versions of them on the island and it’s endless. I enjoyed the concept of this film but it gets a little murky in the middle as it seems to have a tough time of how they wanted to resolve this wormhole issue they were in but still give it 2 stars for being interesting.  

The Creeps (Amazon) – So some old creepy Russian guy opens a portal to a dimension where demons float out to infest snowmen at Finnish ski resort! Sounds corny, sounds like you have seen this ten times before but I advise you have not kids. Now enters our main character Zach who is 17 at said ski resort with a friend (raises way too many questions but that is for a whole other conversation that you will have to ignore that plot point to enjoy this film) who has a love for the 80s nostalgia. The movie wastes no time as the creatures attack a party that Zach and friends attend as Zach hides in an outhouse/porta potty to talk to his Grandpa Joe Dante! Once Zach comes out of hiding the movie shifts into high gear of chaos, blood, and Christopher Lambert with Highlander references that will simply blow your mind in this most entertaining piece of cinema! Kids this project is 4 stars all the way so yinz need to seek it out immediately as Christopher lets us know one more time, “there can only be one”.

Final Caller (Blu-ray) – I still stand by this review but it was time to go check out the Blu-ray version of this film as I feel this is one of the more under the radar projects of Mr. Sheets’ career. The Blu-ray comes with a great BTS segment of Todd just being down to earth and explaining what was going on in his life while this project was going on, there is a commentary of course, and a short film ‘The Request’. Also too it just felt like Todd was trying something out of his comfort zone… : Todd Sheets fresh off the killer ‘Bonehill Road’ and the over the top ‘Clownado’ is back with an ultra-low budget film that involves a shock jock and his show “On Through the Night” where he tells strange stories and takes calls. For Roland the shock jock tonight seems like any other night of doing his show where he is yelling into the mic putting down his fans and spewing conspiracies. But his soon to be ex-wife shows up with the divorce papers and a caller called “The Outsider” who is going to fulfill some kind of ancient ritual by brutally murdering young women. The caller claims it is up to Roland to stop him from being a serial killer but of course Roland takes this as some kind rubbish and hangs up. This begins a hellish downward spiral for the show and all involved as “The Outsider” keeps calling back to yell back at Roland and explain how he devours his victims as he kills them and will visit Roland to complete the ritual. Roland now finds himself in world of crazy shit as he is trying to escape his own radio show and not become part of the bloody body count of “The Outsider”. This is a straight forward gore and even more extreme gore Todd Sheets project that will have his fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Saurians 2 (Tubi) – Mark Polonia’s son Anthony takes over the reins for the sequel 30 years later to tell the story of a dinosaur or two rising from a mountain in Fossil Valley. It seems the dinosaurs have awaken again and this time around a duo called “Crypto Duo” are not just in the area to interview survivor Alan about his ordeal but to also investigate the new occurrences. There is a lot of filler to this short feature but eventually the duo finds themselves transported into a long lost world debating what should be done with the dinosaurs. If I am being completely honest here this feels like something Mark and Anthony were paid straight up to put out there for content more than giving a strong sequel? It feels like pieces of stock footage from other projects strung together with maybe a few new scenes with the Alan character. It isn’t terrible, I just feel fans would have wanted more since it’s a sequel to a Polonia dinosaur project that fans may have forgotten as I can only give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Pickaxe (DVD) – Well this is a sloppy sex-filled monstrous slasher film that was entertaining as hell. It is 1988 and after a naked blood soaked sacrifice a crazed undead serial killer has returned from the grave to continue his carnage in Woodland Hills. Two people survived the first go around with Alex Black as now one is a cop (A. Michael Baldwin) and the second is drunken crazed person (Tiffany Shepis) that burned down an asylum a year after being committed. These two must answer the call as a group of supposed teenagers have traveled to a cabin near Woodland Hills for a drug induced drunken loud sex before heading to a concert. Alex Black the monstrous mess he is wastes no time hacking off heads and ripping out hearts because an evil amulet he wears. Yeah this blood soaked slasher has its flaws but the chemistry between Baldwin and Shepis’ characters as them not just being cameos help you oversee the flaws of this adventure. This picture also could have used a Matt Cannon for a better score. You may not enjoy the lackluster ending but again this was quite entertaining horror fans and yinz need to seek it out as I give it 3 stars.

One Million Babes BC (Tubi) – This Mark Polonia adventure made me laugh several times throughout the picture. Not sure that was the intention but I see it for what it was and just had fun watching two visitors discover a cave to tell the story that was written on the walls by the first people who could stand and have independent thought. These individuals read the drawings and tell the story of Luna and Ogg who are the superiors of a tribe who are at odds with each other. At some point Ogg feels threaten by Luna and feels she should be sacrificed to the volcano gods to help their tribe. Yes there is a dinosaur farting (oh yes I laughed my ass off), yes Tim Hatch makes a perfect caveman and Jamie Morgan is quite a bad ass, yes they are all wearing flip flops and loafers, but I feel if you watch this through the lens of those 50s and 60s B-movie types that had cave people you’ll find this entertaining and have a few laughs too as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #461

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Gross Movie Reviews #461

 

Death House (DVD) – What else can you say except it stars everyone and the story was from Gunnar Hansen. After Operation: Paperclip in 1954 put together a highly secretive hidden compound that houses complete psychos. Using technology to their advantage they study and experiment on these so-called psychos for future research and to see if they can eventually weed them out of the DNA chain. Boone and Novak are two agents that were apparently chosen out of many to not only tour the facility but work closely with doctors. They will not only observe the inmate experiments they will also be a part of them. While this is all going on a kid or something like a kid eats a security officer and places something inside of him. The guard is taken to medical inside and an EMP bomb goes off shutting down everything. This will allow prisoners to come out of their fog and riot. Once it happens Kane Hodder’s character who is a neo-Nazi that cannot die uses this to his advantage to go looking for the ‘Five Evils’. These are gods or people he admires and believes will help him get back out into the real world. The two agents now must stop him and the five evils. The movie wasn’t horrible but not really good either. I enjoyed Tony Todd as usual but the movie to me felt like a lot was either left on the cutting room floor or never filmed at all? I just really believe this film could have been so much more as I give it 2 stars.

Clownado (Vimeo) – I absolutely enjoy Todd Sheets and his projects and when this was announced last year it just made sense. Mr. Sheets writes and directs this twisted tale of a circus clown named Ronnie who runs the show. Ronnie and his old lady Savanna have a huge argument after Savanna is found with another man and she feels wronged by Ronnie. So leave it to Todd Sheets to come up with an idea of where Savanna has Ronnie and his clown cronies cursed! The curse is a tornado that comes from the sky and sucks them up in it. But that isn’t the end of Ronnie and friends as with Savanna on the run the supernatural force known as Clownado searches out Savanna to get their own bit of revenge. In the end it is a fight to the death between Ronnie the clown and his woman Savanna where along the way: we get some clown boobs, a good amount of gore, and my favorite part of the film an Elvis impersonator played by the talented Antwoine Steele! Mr. Sheets you had me at “Clownado”… but I would love to see Elvis vs. the Clownado in the sequel as I give this low budget clownfest 3 out of 4 stars.

 

To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story (On Demand) – Kane Hodder goes through his life from everything to being bullied as a kid to what happened to him being Jason in the “Freddy vs. Jason” film. The biggest thing to take away from this documentary is Kane Hodder is one awesome dude but he finally sets the record straight about his burns. Kane goes into great horrific detail of what actually happen in 1977 and almost destroyed his career and him before it ever got started. Kane gets my respect and you don’t have to be a fan to enjoy this documentary about him as I give it 4 stars.

 

Stranger Things: Season Two (Blu-ray) – There isn’t a whole lot I can say about this that you haven’t heard already. The group moves on a year later after the disappearance of ‘Eleven’ and their friend returning from the alternate dimension. You will enjoy how they not only expand the universe of the kids, but the sheriff, the government how they are continuing the experiments that may take over the town. A really well written and entertaining show that I haven’t been this excited since the “X-files” TV show as I give it 4 stars.

 

Star 80 (DVD) – Based on a true story, Eric Roberts plays the sleazy character Paul Snider who finds a young and beautiful Dorothy Stratten in a Dairy Queen. She eventually becomes a “Playmate of the Year” and Paul gets jealous, murders her then commits suicide. This was based on all the things Paul used Dorothy’s name to get ahead in life while she was just enjoying being a model. Apparently Paul couldn’t take her fame and completely broke down. I give the flick about the dark side of being a celebrity 3 stars.

 

Slenderman (DVD) – Not totally sure why I watched the film based on an internet supernatural story. I believe the true story of the two girls trying to kill their friend for Slenderman was much more interesting than this. A group of teenage girls dare each other to watch the Slenderman video. When they do just like “The Ring” it comes to claim their lives or just haunt them until they take their lives. Anyway I know the film was literally only made for 12 to 16 year olds but how does Slenderman know how to use an iPhone to film his victims? Looking for answers as I give it 1 star.

 

Granny of the Dead (DVD) – A low-budget zombie film from Wales (UK) where grandparents are the cause a zombie epidemic. A shadow hand in a church kills an old lady and she becomes a zombie. Ed and friends are just trying to survive the onslaught of Granny zombies. The film has its funny moments but is mainly for the hardcore zombie fans. If you are just a casual horror fan you may just want to skip this one as I give 2 stars.

 

Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (Shudder) – A wonderful documentary that takes a look at how and why African-American roles in horror movies have changed so much. Lots of interviews from known actors and actresses that include Ken Foree and Tony Todd. They tackle the whole ‘blackface’ genre of the 30s and 40s to underground horror movies from African-American directors, to how African-Americans completely disappeared during the 50s and 60s in horror movies to Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”. Really cool stuff that was unknown to me about the cinema but makes me enjoy my time talking to Tony Todd about his role as ‘Candyman’ but also as Ben in ‘NOTLD90’. All horror fans should make sure they watch this as I give it 4 stars.

 

Threads (DVD) – Just like the U.S. TV movie “The Day After” that dealt with the threat of nuclear war “Threads” centers itself on a town Sheffield, England and follows a few characters. Instead of the view point of the nuclear bombs hitting the U.S. and Russia this is more of the depressing viewpoint of a place not involved. Where they suffer from the fallout just as much as anyone else if some dumb asses try to hit the red reset button. Another brutal look at what could happen even though the film was portraying what could happen in 1984 and its long term effects. I give the film 4 stars and remember we might now be just as close as we ever been to this happening?

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

THERE IS NO SHELTER FROM THIS STORM!

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CLOWNADO has launched from acclaimed indie director Todd Sheets.

While Bonehill Road, Todd’s epic Werewolf film, continues on it’s Theatrical and Film Festival tour in advance of it’s Halloween 2018 release, he has started Pre-Production on his latest endeavor.   Bonehill Road was listed on over 13 BEST OF 2017 lists and so far has been an Official Selection at over 43 Film Festivals.  And now Director Todd Sheets turns his attention to CLOWNADO.

 

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover! Our goal with CLOWNADO is to make a damned good, scary and splatter-filled, nonstop roller coaster ride of a Horror movie. Shot in a “Neo-Noir” style… It’s something new, fresh, original and unique but also familiar. Using only Practical Special Makeup Effects and old school styled Visual Effects, CLOWNADO has the vibe of Classic Horror movies we love. So if you took some John Carpenter, a bit of Lucio Fulci, Evil Dead and Dead Alive, buckets of gore, Noir style and supernatural Clowns and you threw them into a swirling storm of insanity… this would be it! This is certainly no comedy!

 

CLOWNADO – A one of a kind thrill ride into the depths of depravity and gore!!! Believe it or not, it is a Horror Film Noir, with crazed killer Clowns on a rampage from Hell… out for revenge and only BLOOD can quench their savage desire for destruction!!!! Be ready for one twisted and scary adventure! – I’m working on the final draft of the Script and we’ll be posting updates as they happen.

 

So, while a title like Clownado could be either a really good party movie or a really bad cheesefest, we ask you to keep an open mind and give us a chance. One thing we promise is you will be ENTERTAINED by our film. We will pour our hearts and souls into it and it will be made with real passion. We will make sure it is a stylish movie, with some good scares, some creepy scenes and some outrageous SPLATTER!!!!! For sure there are elements of the film that go wildly over the top, but with a title like this…. we have a LOT to live up to! We appreciate your support for the film and we cannot wait to share our adventure with you while we create this crazy movie!

 

This time around, Todd and his company, Extreme Entertainment, decided to do TWO crowdfunding platforms.  “We started with GoFundMe,”  Sheets explains.  “But we had people write us who are fans of IndieGoGO and they really wanted to use that platform.  So we asked our friends and fans of these movies about it and they all liked the idea of us doing both!”  The IndieGoGo campaign is only up for 40 days, while the GoFundMe is going for 60.

 

https://www.gofundme.com/clownado

 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/clownado-horror

 

 

Todd Sheets

Extreme Entertainment – www.ZombieBloodbath.com

Dreamimg Purple Neon – www.DreamingPurpleNeon.com

House of Forbidden Secrets – www.HouseOfForbiddenSecrets.com
NIGHTWATCH – www.nightwatchradio.com
Jackalope Media

www.nightwatchradio.com
www.jackaloperadio.com
www.zombiebloodbath.com