Gross Movie Reviews #698

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Robot Ninja (Blu-ray) – “This review was written in 2014 after I got ahold of an old VHS copy I borrowed from someone…before there was this Blu-ray but go into detail about the extras.” In the age of weird, horrible, obscure low budget VHS movies getting legit releases and special VHS/DVD combo releases I am very surprised there is never been any news on this relatively lesser known gory comic bookish horror film. J. R. Bookwalter’s second feature was made in four months and $15,000, a lot less than his first feature “The Dead Next Door”. The film revolves around comic book artist Lenny who is upset with his agent selling the rights of the comic to NBC for a weekly series now being pressured by his boss to start making the comic book more like the weekly series. This makes Lenny go over the edge to become the real life “Robot Ninja” after he tries to stop three individuals from raping a couple on the edge of a freeway. He has the costume made; he is taking a massive amount of drugs, it’s time for Lenny/Robot Ninja to take to the streets looking for revenge! The film is a disgustingly fun time for J.R.’s second effort. I give the movie 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The film also boasts appearances from Linnea Quigley, Burt Ward, and Scott Spiegel. I remember first seeing the film in 1990 when I helped a video store (Movietime) order it out of the Cinema Home Video catalog. Now we fast forward many years and there is this wonderful 2K restoration of the film which looks absolutely beautiful. But the gem of this package is the extras besides seeing the movie much different than us weirdos remember seeing a couple decades back. The extras include several interviews with cast members in 1999/2000, two commentaries, and my favorite thing which made me so happy to now own this version is an interview with J.R. Bookwalter explaining why it took so long and how he has a new appreciation for this film as I do too. Thank you to J.R. and all that were involved in this process as this Blu-ray was just perfect!

Sons of Steel (Blu-ray) – Digging deep into the post-apocalyptic genre for this one as I first reviewed it a couple years back before I knew an American Blu-ray version was available: Thank you Shudder for helping me find more Australian weirdness! This 1988 flick is in the somewhat futuristic land where a rock front man Black Alice runs things but he is also a peace activist. One night a suspicious boat comes into the Sydney harbor while Black Alice is forced into becoming an experimental hologram and released 113 years later in a world that was destroyed by nuclear war. Now Black Alice has ten hours to live which is a side effect of the hologram thingy to find a way back to his time and stop everything from going boom? Think “Repo Genetic Opera” (kind of) decades before it was made might be the best way to describe the weirdness as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. This Blu-ray restoration spruced up the colors of the film but has an absolutely informative segment with Gary L. Keady explaining why America never seen this flick until the last few years, great stuff in my opinion.

Commando Ninja 2: Invasion America (Tubi) – A few years have passed since the glorious original was made. Surprisingly it wasn’t too long after this international fun mockery of the 80s action feature told the internet there would be a sequel? But it was quiet for a good long time until the past couple weeks the legendary original film and its sequel showed up on Tubi for all in the world to finally witness the glory! So the sequel picks up in 1990 America where somehow there is Vietnamese soldiers buying weapons on American soil. After a terrorist attack on a military graduation the hero John Hunter is thrust back into action and tracks down where these Vietnamese are disappearing… John and friends head down a tunnel into earth that transports them to Vietnam where somehow dinosaurs thrive and the Vietnamese and Russians have captured Marines. This is where the real chaos begins as we got Vietnam, flashbacks, zombies, cyborgs, experiments on P.O.W.s, and a villain that reminds me the evil dude in the Inspector Gadget cartoon. It’s hilarious, gory, but overstays its welcome as it runs two hours long. I love the concept but sometimes you got to know when enough is enough as I can only give this action flick 3 stars.

Burglar from Hell (Blu-ray) – A Phil Herman SOV classic that was revived recently with this crazy ass packed special edition Blu-ray that has everything from a new transfer of the independent classic to a commentary with Phil “Chip” Herman to a wonderful interview with the legendary Debbie D, Barry Gaines, Bryant Sohl to the unreleased first film of Phil Herman called ‘The Wrong Side of Town’ which in my opinion is a delightful underrated no budget picture that is highly recommended for all first time filmmakers. But back to this classic tale that is set years after the terrible home invasion from Frank that goes wrong. Years after the event friends vacation at the home only for a young lady to conjure up Frank the Tank back from the dead to terrorize all who decided to come to the home. The story takes a bit of time to build but it’s better for the plot in the long run and has a high body count. The classic project is rough, entertaining, completely wild, and no denying that Phil Herman was going to become a legend among independent filmmakers with unique work like this as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Stoop (Vimeo) – Soon coming to a format or streaming site near you is this odd but interesting non-horror film that had my full attention from the beginning as the plot revolves around Amos Dibble. Mr. Dibble has OCD but has found a way to carve out a life and work life that he is able to control to his benefit. But one day Mr. Dibble’s life is literally thrown into chaos when a cute young lady sits on Dibble’s front steps. You have to understand the condition and circumstances as this is devastating to Amos as it can send his life into chaos. These steps are very private to him as they are his getaway place from everything. But a funny thing happens to Amos as he becomes intrigued with the why, how, when she is going to be there? On top of that she converses with Amos not noticing his condition as he struggles with this new concept. It isn’t just difficult for Amos; it can be scary as hell as he finds himself changing routine just to catch glimpses or even sit next to the young woman. Amos soon finds himself complicating his uncomplicated life to be with her, to be more for her in this adorable and wonderful adventure in love. The chemistry between Brian Moore Ward and Aysiha Stephenson is golden as Mr. Dibble cannot deny “she is the missing ingredient” in this must see feature I give 3 out of 4 stars.

Blue Sunshine (4K/UHD) – Oh Synapse I love yinz releasing this Jeff Lieberman classic that is seen more of a classic now than when it was first released with the subject matter it dealt with into 4K. Mr. Lieberman stirs the pot with this project as even with his new introduction makes I smile as we get to watch this glorious restoration that involves C.I.A. experiments in the sixties. The plot of this important film begins with a man at a party who hid his hair loss and goes psycho on three women only fight with his friend Jerry to the death. Quickly from there Jerry is on the run and must act quickly to clear his name as authorities believe he is a murderer. With a little help from a friend Jerry slowly connects the dots of the tragic event at the lodge that sent him on the run. The connection is a drug called “Blue Sunshine” that was taken ten years before at Stanford University and now (1977) the people who took part in the acid have become violent and lost all their hair. Its real, hard-hitting, and more relevant now in my opinion than then! Along with this great film you get two commentaries (one of them with Jeff Lieberman and Howard S. Berger discussing things), all kinds of interviews with Mr. Lieberman, two old anti-drug films, and two versions of “The Ringer” giving Lieberman fans hours of content to ingest and debate as I give the package 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #697

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Nick Knight (YouTube/DVD-R) – Unbeknownst to me this was a 1989 TV movie or a prequel of sorts or just failed pilot that starred the great Rick Springfield (for the kids out there, dude was everywhere in the 80s). A couple years later they revived the idea in 1992 and called it “Forever Knight”, a vampire cop show that ran in syndication (like Xena and Hercules it depended where you lived and what channels you got in order to watch the program as it really didn’t have a set time). Detective Nick Knight is a crafty detective who gets results but only works nights for odd reasons to the rest of his fellow cops. A problem arises as a serial killer who kills almost nightly and his victims have been nicknamed the “vampire murders”. As Nick struggles with his vampirism a theft of a Mayan cup raises an eyebrow as this cup is believed to be used to cure vampirism as Nick’s master Lacroix (not the carbonated water) has come to town to taunt him. For a TV movie of 1989 it was pretty good but guessing the love story that had a sad ending in the pilot didn’t go over well for critics as I still enjoyed it overall and give it 3 stars.

R.L. Stine’s Pumpkinhead (Tubi) – This one surprised me it was a Tubi Original released this past Halloween as I just finally got around to checking it out. A mom of two moves to a small town of Red Haven “Where the Harvest Never Ends” as it seems too perfect since moving from New York after her husband died. The oldest kid Finn fits in immediately but young Sam doesn’t like the move and chooses to cut off a strange pumpkin in Mr. Palmer’s barn during the harvest festival. His older brother Finn returns the pumpkin but doesn’t return the next day as he is completely forgotten about except Sam knows. Help from a new best friend and an outcast they unravel the mystery of the cursed land the crops that grow on Mr. Palmer’s farm. The scarecrow thing was pretty cool and I quite enjoyed the non-happy ending to this feature as I give it 3 stars.

Nazi Supersoldier (Tubi) – Another low budget Nazi zombie film out of Germany that begins in May 1945, where an experimental super soldier project is underway in Berlin. Well we all know what happened then so now in present day there are rumors of a secret lab somewhere in the forest of Berlin. If a group of students can discover it they plan to use it for their thesis as they would do a proper TV report on the location. The group finds the secret lab but doing so unleash a thing called “Project Juso” that is impervious to weapons and looks like a bootleg ‘Violent Shit’ killer as he slaughters his way through the woods. I truly wanted to like this project but felt like the idea didn’t have enough plot behind it to make it fun or interesting as I can only give this film 1 star.

Mortal Game (Tubi) – Big game hunters travel to an island for the ultimate hunt but none have ever returned? Of course a new group of hunters who are flown in are sure they will find this unknown creature and have it for their trophy case. But of course in this Canadian flick the creature is the hunter as it feasts on all who come to the island. This movie really didn’t make a ton of sense and I really wanted the creature to be a werewolf or something but we can’t always get what we want like a great creature feature in this case as I can only give it a ½ star.

Orgy of the Dead 2 (DVD) – Andrew J. Chambers set out to make a love letter to the obscure maybe even cultish 1965 horror film and I believe the filmmaker accomplished their goal. Your coffin based host, The Emperor, likes to hang out in his cemetery with his lovely princess to see who they will entertain this evening? It just so happens a group of four have a car accident nearby, now three who are looking for help but instead stumble into a graveyard full of kink as The Emperor and his minions enjoy the dancing entertainment for the evening. Jessa Flux who plays one of the car accident victims is absolutely fun with her comments as she is crucified! This piece of entertaining sleaze will not be for all horror fans but I gotta respect what Mr. Chambers and crew accomplished as they should be proud of their efforts as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Invisible Raptor (Tubi) – Tyler Corp. is a secret research center that is connected to an amusement park called “Dinoworld”. So of course there is research on the only invisible live raptor! Being the intelligent creature it kills its captors and escapes! As nearby residents seem to be getting eaten up it’s up to the bumbling staff of Dinoworld to track down the creature to stop it terrorizing all who live there. The film has its moments with chasing dinosaur shit, small wieners, dinosaur sex, and a hilarious house party that just becomes a smorgasbord for the raptor but its nearly two hour running time has too many lulls throughout as I can only give it 2 stars.

Darbie’s Dreamhouse (DVD) – This newer Donald Farmer flick has quite a talented cast as Jessa Flux stars as Darbie… She is a ten year old Alice’s doll who has several dolls but when Alice isn’t around the dolls have their own life in Dolltown, USA. This is where Darbie and all her friends and boyfriend included come to life. Well Darbie’s boyfriend Ben is planning a surprise birthday party this Saturday with Beach Blanket Ben, Rodeo Darbie, Danger Darbie, and Ditzie Darbie as they try to exclude Darbie’s sister Tripper because they feel she will spoil it. Well they were not wrong as Tripper believes Ben is cheating on Darbie so she tells her sister all about his cheating. This sends Darbie in a rage as she needs a root beer and her butcher’s knife to show her so-called friends they cannot take her boyfriend Ben or mess with Darbie’s perfect doll life! The project is a bizarre live action independent oddity that will have you smiling from ear to ear over Darbie’s killing spree as I give this wild project from Mr. Farmer 3 out of 4 stars. (Also much respect to Jessa Flux for being one of the writers).   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!