Gross Movie Reviews #639

Galaxy Warriors (DVD) – Veteran Indy filmmaker Brett Kelly uses his mind and his usual no budget to bring a futuristic women in prison movie together. A bounty hunter in space under the name Demeter is contacted about her sister Artemis being imprisoned on a prison planet. So it is big sister to the rescue as her and co-pilot gets thrown in prison to find her sister. Once there Demeter notices everything is not going according to plan and they will need lots of help to make their escape. The film has a lot heart and feels like a 90s independent movie more than a recent one. But it loses some steam towards the end as it felt like Mr. Kelly wasn’t totally sure on how to end this project but that is just me thinking out loud there? No matter what I see fans of Brett Kelly enjoying this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Bigfoot (DVD/Tubi) – Shawn Phillips returns to the director’s chair with entry #60 folks! This time around there are scientists in a secluded cabin experimenting on what should be an unknown creature, “Bigfoot”? What else the plot throws at you is a movie shoot about Bigfoot that is ongoing in the same woods, there are also activists against Amityville Chemical, and a few rando homeless people smoking weed. Once the creature escapes the cabin and there are more sinister things at play here Bigfoot begins his bloody rampage through the woods slaughtering all who cross him. This Bigfoot slasher (maybe?) also stars Eric Roberts, Trent Haaga, and the wonderful Tuesday Knight. I am not totally sure what exactly this entry had to do with Amityville but it was fun to see a movie that could be considered a Bigfoot slasher as I give it 2 stars.

Shakespeare’s Shitstorm (On Demand) – Only Troma could pull something off like this where a new drug has hit the shelves from “Big Pharma” called “Safespacia”: a pill for 18 to 30 year olds so they don’t feel an uncomfortable moment in their lives. They can see friends because it helps create a safe space around them. The story or parody is of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” like only Lloyd can produce. A boatload of Big Pharma execs are shipwrecked onto the shore of Tromaville, New Jersey. From there they all go looking for help and find “Prospero’s Retreat” in an alley of Tromaville where they can continue their partying and evil ways. But little they know the club is run by a scientist named Prospero who was ousted many years before because he wasn’t in it for the money? Now it’s Prospero’s turn to get his revenge but will that change when his blind daughter falls in love with the big exec’s son? The film takes on all the recent issues of social justice, etc., etc., no stone goes unpunished in usual Troma fashion. As usual the film is perverse and fun but felt like about 60 minutes in or so the message was being beaten into you instead of entertaining you but I still liked the movie enough to give it 3 stars.

Flesh Games (DVD) – What looks like another ‘Jackass’ fan film goes in a little bit of a different direction? A small group of so-called no name stuntmen and comedians are getting the “band back together” to start filming some Jackass adventures again like they did some years before. Then they were teenagers like a lot of people who were influenced by Knoxville and crew but now they are border-line out of shape folks getting drunk and reliving the past while filming it. There is the grandma skit, terrible twister, Homerun derby, glass jaw, skateboarding accidents… you get the picture where this Indy film is going. What seems like just another Indy film being a copycat of the popular project “Magnum Opus: The Movie” from Addison Binek takes a dark odd twist of how far is too far about ¾’s the way through the film. Trying not to spoil it as it was kind of a small surprise for this just over 60 minute movie that I think Indy fans will embrace if they stick this out what it was really going for as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Can find it for purchase at:  https://srscinemastore.com/search?q=Flesh+Games

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allen under Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com   

Amityville Backpack (Tubi) – No, you haven’t lost your mind as this is entry #61 into this long running series that doesn’t surprise me what they do next but know I will be there to watch and keep track of. From the filmmaker behind the ‘Death Toilet’ series we get this entry where a possessed backpack is bought from a garage sale. (Sorry folks, the vibrator in the yard sale were the best concept) Anyhow, after a kid is murdered by the backpack (you got me paying attention right there) Luther buys the backpack at the garage sale believing it is the answer to all his woes of forgetting stuff? Doesn’t take long for the backpack to try killing Poopsie the cat and heading off to the pool for a beer before killing anyone in its path around Luther at the office. Or at least all the people who have this weird obsession of putting on a backpack? Also if that wasn’t enough the object knows how to shoot a gun and drive a car as over 80 minutes is too much. I believe this joke would have worked so much better as a twenty minute short but that is my opinion as I give it 1 ½ stars. Sometimes projects are better as short films, examples: Amityville Quilt Store and Amityville Outhouse.

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