Massacre at Femur Creek (YouTube) – A (2014) 19 minute short film set in June 1984 at Cherry Hill, Ontario and now has a crowd funding campaign going to remake it and make it a feature. Three young men head to the woods for a birthday bash and talk about some funny shit. But unbeknownst to them they have a sleazy masked stalker that interrupts their man gathering and hilarity ensues as I give the Canadian short film 3 stars.
Mutant Vampires from the Planet Neptune (DVD) – The movie starts off well with a spaceship landing near an oversexed couple in their tent who also have just been attacked by an escaped mental patient then attacked by the space vampire. We flash forward to the next day where we are introduced to five friends who are heading out for a weekend of partying and the movie spending a good amount of time building up their characters. Once at the cabin the space vamp begins stalking them. I really liked the premise of the film, how it started, but the film felt a bit stretched out and the filmmaker wasn’t sure what they wanted to do with the script if that makes sense. I could only give it 1 ½ stars as I would like to hear from other people who may have seen it or going to in hopes it was just me.
Land Shark (DVD) – A mutant shark film from China in an attempt to catch lightning in a bottle: “The Meg”, “Deep Blue Sea”, insert popular shark film that uses cancer research as the backdrop for a shark film. Of course the cancer research is promising but the mutant shark is man-made through scientists using other animal genes where the shark jumps on land to chase said scientists through a jungle. Sounds fun but just never captures that ‘it’ factor to separate this from being just another boring shark film as I give it 1 star.
Murderbot (Tubi/Full Moon) – A 45 minute film from Jim Wynorski who worked with Full Moon on this project that stars a bootleg version of Julie Strain as a runaway robot. For whatever dumb reason the film is also known as “Killbots” but anyhow bootleg Julie Strain is supposed to be a military project that just so happens to decide it wants to go off on its own. She enters a small town and begins to kill the townsfolk because that is what she is programmed to do. Enter a group of unlikable young people who within seconds of arriving begin running for their lives. The beauty of the film is that it is only 45 minutes as I give it a ½ star and good luck if you go watch it?
Terror Trips (DVD) – A group of six friends out of Cincinnati, Ohio who are also horror movie fans decide to go into a new business venture where they check out horror movie locations and come with a way for people to stay there for an overnight event or something… Six months pass for the group and they head to Poland aka Indiana farm land I believe to scout another famous movie location. There the group quickly finds out stupid Americans are frowned upon and they kidnap them for organ harvesting. The film thinks big but cannot execute to its full potential besides the movie could of went in a totally different direction than ‘Hostel’ as I give it 1 ½ stars or it isn’t terrible but not good either.
Kill Her Goats (DVD) – The film begins with explaining a family home and the events that are about to unfold after the purchase where a young woman gets the house as a gift and some neighbors are not happy. Most of the film is Audra and her two friends enjoying the new home giving each other a few jump scares and walking around topless most of the time for no reason. Eventually a person in a goat mask comes to stalk the three girls but not really with a little bit of gore? Very hard to explain as this is an example of the trailers is way better than the final product. You could even make the argument that they use the nudity as a crutch as there wasn’t much story to tell but feel you would be wasting your breath on an actual intelligent conversation about this film as I give it maybe a ½ star. Again I really wanted to like this horror movie but after watching it, maybe it was doomed before it ever got started?
Horrorama (DVD-R) – A 1987 SOV flick that got finished in 1989 and found some kind of small release again in 2014 that is hosted by a disgusting undead host named Scarlet Fry who takes you through some tales of terror. The shorts are pretty quick, hilarious, and entertaining as SOV fans may want to seek this one out just for the mere reason to see blood squirt from off screen for a gore scene and it’s nowhere near where the action is taking place. Oh a wonderful look at the old days of no budget magic as I give it 2 ½ stars.
When a Killer Calls: The Babysitter Massacre (DVD) – A bright young woman named Trisha heads to her latest babysitting gig to take care of Molly for the night. Not too long after the parents leave Trisha begins getting odd phone calls on her cell including blaming her boyfriend for the (*67) phone calls? Remember the film is from 2006 but anyway you have seen the film several times before but I will give kudos to Asylum Entertainment with not taking the easy way out with cheeseball moments and trying to make the “killer is calling from in the house” film. Once the boyfriend shows up and brings friends that is when the massacre begins… sort of as I give the movie 2 stars.
The Prey: Legend of Karnoctus (DVD) – A newer B-horror film that tries to give fans a splash of four different films into one: Predator, The Descent, Graveyard Shift, and Dog Soldiers. Stocking the cast with familiar faces that the horror community will recognize as our story takes place in Afghanistan where some old military dudes are planning a heist. Meanwhile a young group of soldiers on patrol nearby get pinned down by an enemy force and head inside a cave that gets closed off by a rocket. Now trapped young stunned soldiers and a couple of old military dudes must get on the same page and start their long trek through the labyrinth in order to survive. But none of them were counting on dealing with a pissed off Afghan Sasquatch as it’s referred to many times in the movie. Not a huge budget, you hired some cool people to be on screen for a scene or two, and you have kind of a cool monster in a cave? Yep, I am in every time just to give it a chance as I liked it enough to give it 2 ½ stars.
Any comments please send to firstname.lastname@example.org or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!