Nightmares Unleashed (DVD) – The newest project to come out of MMH Productions where this kind sir goes out of their comfort zone to bring something I would perhaps call “Fantasy horror”. A young woman has just gotten a new VHS tape called ‘Cult of the Scarecrow’ and quickly finds herself sucked into the movie by an evil jester called, “Joseph the Clown”. At first being a huge horror fan the young woman believes it is just wild to be standing near the cult members and be in the movie but then it all becomes too real as the cult members want a virgin! She is saved for now by a young man Matthew who has been looking for his sister. Together Raven and Matthew must cross several movies to fight off witches, zombies, tree monsters, a demented scientist, vampires, a summer camp killer, and a fun house to escape Joseph as he has created in this movie world a prison for him to play with people who watch these obscure horror films. Raven and Matthew’s goal becomes saving the kids to defeat Joseph but that only sounds good in theory. The project dares to be totally different, has a ‘Funnyman’ kind of vibe to it, and the Joseph the clown character keeps the film creepy yet alluring at the same time and for that I gotta give this interesting piece of cinema 3 out of 4 stars.    

Deathboard (DVD) – This 2020 Brad Twigg horror film may have gotten overlooked as a lot of projects did during that year revolves around a young woman buying a beautiful house cheap. Once a group of friends come over to help celebrate she lets them in on how she got it so cheap and couldn’t pass it up. As she explains the house used to be the home of a brutal psycho four years ago but has since passed. Of course Val and friends go investigate the basement that even when buying no one looked at? But they find an Ouija board and kiddingly try to conjure the spirit of the brutal killer of Psycho Cyrus. After a scene of pizza eating, dealing with sexual harassment pizza guy, too much drinking, too much sharing about their sexual encounters, we get to the good stuff as the killer wastes no time slaughtering their way through the friends. But wait there is more… what comes with this cool little project is not just the great ‘Slumber Party Massacre’ and ‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-O-Rama’ vibes but a cool ending that ties some things together as I gotta give this little known Indie feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Creep Footage 3: ‘Night Nurse (DVD) – Didn’t even see the first two films, hell didn’t know they existed but when did that ever stop me from watching sequels out of order? Anyway, this 23 minute short that is done like a cool History channel-style documentary of sorts about a character ‘Nurse Candy’. This said Nurse Candy who interacts with a dangerous patient ‘Apple’ in asylum is the direct cause of an evil event Halloween 1988. The person Apple was already a danger but the actions of Nurse Candy led this Apple character to an evil night of bloodshed. Documentary, found footage stuff I will leave it to you what you think but great people involved with the short and glad a great young actor pointed it out to me as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Priest: Thanksgiving Massacre (Tubi) – You know me kids if I am not tracking down Amityville flicks I gotta keep that ‘massacre’ list going as many years ago a priest commits a terrible sin then doubles down on it by committing suicide. Now present day a family is spending an awkward holiday at a secluded cabin in the woods together. We learn because of dad’s porn star girlfriend using the steam room too much it awakens the undead priest from under the floor boards of said cabin. They all believe it is the son trying to be creepy and watch his sister undress in the crawlspace even though he finds the journal of the undead priest. But it is all set into motion as this undead bastard can smell sin in the air! Once after the journal is found and looks like this film is going to be a lot of awkward fun it comes to a screeching crawl of waiting for this undead bastard to kill them all which of course doesn’t happen. People yinz had something here and yinz let go to waste as this was barely a massacre so I can only give it 1 star.

Amityville Aliens (DVD) – So entry #77 has come into our lives as a 75 minute project that is a project that featuring shorts put together in a way that connects to Amityville? The film begins with legendary Donald Farmer intro that leads into the films we are about to watch were confiscated from a Black Ops shelter in New Mexico about alien encounters in Amityville, New York. The first short takes us into a post-apocalyptic war between aliens and residents of Amityville. The second short film is Martian Girl Massacre which is a delightfully gooey mess about a young woman being possessed by a giant pink alien in the backyard that causes her to slaughter friends in return her prize is being slaughtered horribly by the alien. Third short film is a black and white throwback where Galactic Samurai Schoolgirls visiting Amityville to gather men but instead find some mobster underlings. The fourth short film takes place in 1928 Amityville where an older woman and her shotgun have an encounter with a stop motion werewolf in armor. Oh by the way nevermind the Miller High Life box you’ll see in the cupboard at the beginning, remember its 1928… The fifth short comes off as an old paranormal public access show tackling aliens in Amityville and they reveal the main cause of the horror in Amityville is the space fungus in the soil? This entry is quite entertaining, hell hilarious at times but two things here: first I would have arranged these shorts very differently because I would have ended the project with the post-apocalyptic short instead of opening the film with it. This just throws off the vibe of watching these “so-called” confiscated films plus I felt that project was a terrible lead into Martian Girl Massacre which is a fun watch on its own. Second the two highlights that will have Amityville fans clamoring for more are the Martian Girl Massacre and Galactic Samurai Schoolgirls. These two projects are the most polished but most importantly felt like they were the most versatile as they could be put out there in the world on their own but at the same time they fit perfectly into an Amityville space anthology. I would go as far as maybe these two projects overshadow the others but hey I just review these things as I give entry #77 into the series 2 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S. you can always send me your Amityville arguments or comments.

Bionic Ninja (YouTube) – Well apparently someone was bored again on social media as they declared “this movie is the worst of all time”. Of course you now have my attention just because of the title but I hate when people do this because I hate to say it “you are usually wrong”. It’s just an opinion kids. This 1986 film has a secret tech film stolen in Hong Kong that has the KGB and CIA fighting over possession of it. Sadly there aren’t any cyborg ninjas but there is a bunch of non-stealthy ninjas employed by the KGB who want the film. Beginning to end it is filled with ninjas, fights, car stunts, and even the Miami Vice theme song?! Even though the whole film is based on which world power will get this secret it feels like this film was all about random ninjas being non-stealthy unlike some of the other early 80s ninja films that are classics. Sorry kids go back to social media claim some other bullshit because this movie was far from being the worst as I found it quite entertaining at times as I give it at least 2 stars. Also have yinz ever watched Hereditary? Now there is at least an argument to throw out there on your Google machines…

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