Gross Movie Reviews #663

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The Stench (YouTube) – Look out as super talented Indy filmmaker Jim Roberts is at it again with his short film that begins with a fallen tree and Tony in a bad need of money. Sam had an old tree fall down in the backyard with some horrible green mist bellowing out of it! As Tony gets started on the nasty tree the situation devolves very quickly into madness. Something evil was disturbed in the tree and we all get lots of disgusting beautiful violence as I give the project 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Creature Z (YouTube) – A team of mercs is dropped in hostile territory to rescue a scientist at a secret cold war bunker. Of course their goal is to get in and get out undetected. We all know in movies and life nothing is ever easy as the mercs get into a fire fight with a militia group who were unaware of the entrance for the bunker. Both parties find it to enter and quickly find out the hard way the dummies there melted a creature out of its frozen prison as they used the bunker to experiment on it. Their goal was genetic hybrids which humans will not survive the aftermath. Sounds good when explaining it but when cool stuff like the ‘Outpost’ films exist it is a tough task to measure up as from frame one of this movie it had good intentions but never seen through on them as I can only give this film 2 stars.

Moonsoil: Gruesome Tales of Michele and the Modern Witch (YouTube) – Weird Indy stuff with weird music where removing a cross from a shed in the middle of the woods releases a witch or its coven or something to that effect. After a kid drinks the drinking water and cuts off his own foot more weird shit happens with a presence stalking several random people. The film has some great locations but leans a little too much into the absurd to be polite to enjoy what they may have been going for as I can only give the project 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Satan’s Parasite (YouTube) – So this Indy project is set up by some video stuff of the filmmaker’s vacation after COVID (most likely). These teenagers come back from vacation not feeling well which leads into weird stuff of a priestess and a parasite. I did learn something through this film: apparently if you get a pregnancy test in the mail you need to cut your hand open to see if you test positive for parasites? If mealworms swim all over the test then you sends it back to the hospital. This also made me curious about the procedure of the USPS and their care of blood soaked packages now that you are able to send your poop places? Anyway did I mention someone is trying to scoop out another’s eyeball with an ice cream scooper…? Way too much going on here without anything really going on as I give this independent feature 1 out of 4 stars.

Cagey (DVD) – If you are looking for no budget, off the wall, has that lost 90s SOV feel then David Bachmeier (wrote, direct, and edits) has a new treat for yinz. Emily is a young woman who just got fired from her pizza delivery job and needs to make the rent soon. Desperation makes Emily take a leap of taking a housesitting gig for the weekend. Mark who hires Emily doesn’t let her in on the secret he has hidden there because he is trying to protect family. Along the way of this feature there are some possible (fake future?) movie trailers that oddly help the story to pace out well. Without saying too much about the plot some Indy fans will see this project as tasteless or even disturbing but most I believe will respect what they have witnessed. For me, this feature doesn’t feel forced, comes along organically, allowed me to relish the plot and also never trust a person in a pigeon mask as I got to give this movie 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Killer Werewolf (YouTube) – A lower budgeted UK flick about a zombie film being filmed in a small village. Things are going horribly because the lead actor is an ass while something is slaughtering the locals in the woods near the movie shoot. As detectives are baffled that these killings could be done by an animal the lead actor is eventually blamed for being a serial killer or is he? The movie spent way too much time on trying to be funny which it wasn’t as they did little for the werewolf reveal which once it happens will make you question why they attempted the project in the first place. Yinz are not missing much here as I can only give it 1 star at best.

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