Gross Movie Reviews #665

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Aqua Beast (YouTube) – A non-descript Colorado family heads out to the old camping ground for Grandma to relive some fun memories as a kid. Well it doesn’t take long for Grandma to get eaten by a shark in a waterway! Even though the so-called teenagers are not too broken up about it they combine forces with the old crusty dude at the bait shop to go hunting for sharks. Along the way one picks up a girlfriend, one loses a boyfriend, and somehow crappy NES graphic shark gets thrown into a woodchipper by a large firework. I laughed at this movie for all the wrong reasons as the acting was monotone the entire length of the film as I wasn’t expecting much but I still cannot give it more than 1 star.

Amityville A.I. (Tubi) – As usual yinz all can thank me later as this is entry #65 into the longest running movie series of al time! Filmmaker Matt Jaissle of course goes back to the well again of Amityville 1979 where something terrible happens with a serial killer. Now present day, Stuart rents a house in Amityville who also just happened to bring his program “Vic 3000” and connect it the rental home. Once security cameras are installed the program has control of the home just like that 1981 TV movie ‘This House Possessed’. Between the weird ghost of the murderer in the house and the program taking over anything around Stuart he is trapped by his own creation and rental home. You can take your pick of what the actual plot of this film is… but outside of the scene with the neighbor’s hilarious sexbot killing him this feels like a mess that was thrown out there to say “I did it first”? I thank you for giving me another entry to watch but let’s be honest there is so much more you could have done on the slim budget you may have had as give it 0 stars.

Popeye’s Revenge (Amazon) – The Brits are at it again in making horror films out of cartoons as this time around they tackle the thick armed sailor who eats spinach. Honestly they keep it basic which looks to be best way to tackle this forgotten character as they made Popeye an urban legend that is a mash up of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger. Fifth-teen years ago after Popeye as a child accidentally killed a fellow child, his parents threw him in the basement but the villagers came anyhow to burn their family home down. Popeye survives but badly burned only to dive into the lake. Now every time a fog rolls in the legend of Popeye arrives to kill any who are nearby. So hey, by all means let’s turn Popeye’s old home into a campground where Popeye can slaughter all who show up at the summer camp before it ever opens. Overall I believe they went just to make a fun gory slasher throwback and they have accomplished their task. Wouldn’t think a Popeye film would be entertaining but there is just something about a burned up pipe smoking dude running out of the woods to squish people’s eyeballs out of their head as I give this 2 ½ stars.

The Special (DVD) – This little film has a little sleaze, a little sex, and WTF is that? Jerry is a regular guy who believes his beautiful wife has been cheating on him. So after a heavy night of drinking his best friend takes Jerry to a secret location aka brothel that happens to have a psychic. Sixty bucks and Jerry is off to upstairs to get “The Special”, an empty room that he is locked in with a box that reads “Stick it in Here”! Jerry believes it is a joke until sometime goes past and eventually puts his dong into the box. BREAKING NEWS… Jerry has the greatest time ever to the point his best friend gotta zip up his pants and get Ivan to throw him into the car. But there is a catch the psychic or Madame warns the best friend be sure Jerry never comes back because the “box” wants him? This only begins a downward spiral for Jerry as he finds out his hot wife (Sarah French) didn’t cheat but was buying a snow blower. For Jerry nothing matters as he is now obsessed to find this box as he would kill to have it as he does and develops a relationship (or let’s just say it he keeps fucking a box) with the thing in the box. An interesting and entertaining ride into a character’s downward spiral of nothing matters except the pleasure he gets from a mysterious box as I give this feature 3 stars.

Don’t Mess with Grandma (Tubi) – This Tubi original is one of my first favs of 2025 as it stars Michael Jai White as Jasper and Billy Zane. The plot of the film besides Jasper throwing white people out a window the whole movie is Jasper taking care of his Grandma who lives in the middle of nowhere. Jasper everyday drives two hours to go take care of anything she needs while getting drunk doing it while running from Grandma’s dog who doesn’t like him. Well tonight things go a little sideways as three people show up in pig masks to burglarize Grandma’s house. Not going to happen in this laugh a minute film as Jasper defends the home quickly but soon sees there is friends or family in this case who have planned this job for a while as they won’t go away quietly. Basic but entertaining premise this 4 out of 4 stars film is “home invasion gone wrong” that includes Jasper singing a DIO song while a man dies in his arms, a person getting paper towels duct taped to their ass because they are missing part of an ass cheek, and how Jasper just wants Grandma to consider moving into the city. Again folks 4 stars all the way as it will be hard for any of yinz to not find this extremely entertaining and laugh the whole 80 minutes as I did.

Streets of Vengeance (Blu-ray) – Mila is a pornstar who is at the height of her career, well liked, and she is at the end of her contract as she wants out so she can do something fresh. But little she knows she is a target by a cult called “The Sword” that wants to make an example of her. They believe her smut career is ruining society and she must be stopped. Mila is not expecting anything terrible even though the ‘San Francisco slasher’ has claimed two of her friends. After her retirement party Mia is kidnapped but escapes the brutality of the cult with a little help as she kills her captor. Mia receives a phone call on a phone she forgot she grabbed from her kidnapper and decides it is time to fight back. Mia recruits her fellow sex workers as this turns into a glorious version of ‘Savage Streets 2’! Way too much filler at the beginning to establish Mia and friends are in the porn industry but the film more than makes up for it once Mia is out for one night of revenge in this sleazy action thriller that I give 3 stars too.

Paranoia Tapes: The Movie (4K) – Full disclosure I am not a huge fan of some of the early entries that I have seen but I will give Jack Hunter and crew credit this has a different charm and finish to it that definitely made it an entertaining Indy feature. We begin with a couple of podcasters discussing an oddity of spookiness that has affected certain people and streams over the years this quickly connects to a DIY You Tuber named Clyde. Clyde is constantly filming himself for his vlogs that have become popular and today he has received a mystery package at his door. The box contains movies that also just happen to have Clyde’s picture on the back of the box along with his best friend Jack throughout the films dying, killing etc. Clyde concerned recruits his friend Jack to come to the house to witness the weirdness of it all and discuss doppelgangers as we the viewer get to see the short films of other vloggers plotting murders and other nefarious acts. Again I enjoyed the simple fact that this crew went to great lengths in storytelling to give you a scare with substance. Yes there are flaws, but overall I believe they accomplish in telling an entertaining spooky story in the context of folks constantly using their phones and the consequences that could follow? For that I give this a solid Indy outing 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

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Jack Hunter’s Paranoia Tapes 2: PRESS PLAY

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Jack Hunter’s Paranoia Tapes 2: PRESS PLAY

Directed By:
Jack Hunter, Steven Daemers, Stephen Gallen, Douglas A. Plomitallo, Jennifer Nangle and Brad Ryal

Southern Sykos Productions, LLC has done it again! Bringing the found footage fans a sequel to the multi-nominated and award winning film, Jack Hunter’s Paranoia Tapes.

 

PLOT DETAILS:

 

In this sequel to Jack Hunter’s PARANOIA TAPES, we join Chase to find the missing pieces of what went wrong in the events of the first film. Chase, who is another personality of Henry’s, decides to look at other Tapes that we’re hidden within Henry’s house. He desperately searches for answers and clues to find out who he is and if in fact, Chase is the real personality and that Henry was the psychotic one. With each tape that is played, we realize there is a bigger picture than what we realized. Featuring segments from all over the world including Belgium and Japan while also showing segments from several YouTubers who wanted to make third name in the independent found footage community. Each short was written and based on actual events. Some of the shorts shown are in fact, the real deal with no special effects or altered footage. This movie will make you forget about the first one and will make you want more from Jack Hunter and the team at Southern Sykos Productions.

 

Director and Creators Comments About This Film:

What I did for these two films is look at the comments and reviews of the first movie. A lot of the reviews stated that the quality sucked, due to acting and poor story-telling. So, what I did was, I sought out new filmmakers on YouTube; film-makers who had found-footage shorts and also I reached out through our companies instagram where I asked any film-maker if they would like to be part of an Anthology movie franchise. Most of them were obliged and said hell yes, and then some were, how can I say this, really diva-like and declined because they thought they were the next Steven Spielberg and John Carpenter or Wes Craven. Sometimes working with new film-makers they get an ego before they even start, and that’s okay I didn’t need that a part of my team anyways. But when I did find was great quality found-footage shorts that we can mix in with our wrap around story and actually makes sense. These are talented filmmakers from around the world and I couldn’t be more happier than to give them the boost and a chance of an opportunity to get their movie, that they made themselves , out there and into the world , for found-footage fans to see..

What Chad Clinton Freeman and I started, when we form Southern Sykos Productions, was a production company that reached out to new filmmakers and we wanted to give them a chance. At one point in time we all had a dream of being a filmmaker, and now we are professional filmmakers on an indie level and we are award-winning filmmakers at that. Buy me reaching out to new filmmakers and teenagers and filmmakers alike, I continue to bring out what we originally started. There was a dry time with southern Sykos, during the past year mainly due to disagreements within the company. But there are no hard feelings and I love every single one of my team members, and now we have these two movies coming out in early 2018 and then part 4 and part 5 coming out in late 2018 along with a two part spin-off called, Jack Hunter’s: RAAKAVEDOS 1 & 2, directed by Elmo Raution that deals with a team investigating a haunted house.  It really is a suspenseful movie that will have subtitles and the language is Finnish, We can’t wait to put that out!

This is one of those movie franchises were we want to be the next Paranormal Activity, but better and with people who are motivated, not by money, but by the art of filmmaking. Hell ,I would love to be the next franchise like Jason or Freddy Krueger, we went to help filmmakers get out there we know there’s talent out there, we just have to find it and/or , they come to us, and with that being said we would love for new film-makers to contact us to get their shorts out there and Beyond a worldwide distributed movie. We aren’t fake filmmakers, we don’t talk about something for over 2 years and nothing happens, we do a thing, that is what southern Sykos Productions is, we are doers. We are very much active in the film-making business. Helping one another to achieve a final product is what we are all about. Pushing each other to be greater than we were. When we see potential, we try to grab it and launch it forward.

One thing about us that I am proud of and to say about every single person, that are involved, are filmmakers. We have a passion for film and we have a passion for horror and we also love Pop horror.com, but we are doing things that other film companies haven’t done. There are film companies out there that talk about having movies come out, that talk about scripts being written, that talk about new adventures on the up-rise, but what separates us from them, is that we actually do what we say. We’re tired of seeing people give us filmmakers a Bad Name, by going on several podcast out there and talking about a film or several films or hell even fan films and they go nowhere, we are building a reputation of being a solid production company and I believe with this website’s help, we will get there even further. When you talk about filmmaking to other people who say they’re filmmakers, you can kind of pick them out and see if there are a bunch of flakes or fakes. And we don’t need that with our company;  we’ve had that run in several times with people that say they can do stuff, and they never show any effort or anything. But we are going to set the record straight and get our stuff out there because we are a good production company.

Our team members right now are , Walter C. Jones, Danny Field, Dustin Hubbard and Brad Ryal. Without these guys the company would be nothing it’s a team effort with everything that we do and I appreciate every single one of them and the dedication that they have shown this company over the past year we’re putting out for movies next year how many independent film companies can say they do that, this company would be nothing without them, we are one family one team one goal, filmmaking. And with an awesome graphic designer like Arturo Portillo(who is also an amazing film-maker) , we can’t go wrong! .

Also, one thing we are re-doing, is re-releasing Paranoia Tapes 1 as Paranoia Tapes 1.5: THE RE-EDIT. We literally looked at all the reviews of our first film and we are going to fix our mistakes with this re-edit. We are taking some things out and adding more segments to make the movie actually make sense to the audience.

 

 

Here are the titles for our next few features coming out this year by Southern Sykos Productions, LLC:

  1. Paranoia Tapes 2: PRESS PLAY
  2. Paranoia Tapes 1.5: THE RE-EDIT
  3. Paranoia Tapes 3: REWIND
  4. Paranoia Tapes: RAAKAVEDOS
  5. Paranoia Tapes 4: FAST FORWARD
  6. Paranoia Tapes: RAAKAVEDOS 2
  7. Paranoia Tapes 5: WATCHERS