Gross Movie Reviews #703

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Ticks (4K/Ultra HD) – This glorious creature feature came out in 1993 which also known as “Infested” had a young cast that would become household names in the industry since then but always will be known for the role that Clint Howard played. The gooey feature has some misfit teens that are forced to attend a camp to get out of the city and learn about nature. As the teens adjust to their new surroundings we are introduce to Clint Howard who is a war vet growing weed with illegal chemicals that of course mutates regular deer ticks. These things make quick work of Clint Howard as he also does self-harm trying to escape causing the mutant ticks to infest the woods. These sick bad ass looking giant bugs attack the camp and try to feed on the young campers who are forced to fight back if they wanna get back to the city.  For many years the no thrills DVD, which for the most part was a VHS rip was the only thing horror fans had. Even though this horror flick didn’t get its due even with all the cool names involved and the wonderful special effects has finally got its chance with this 4K clean up and extras for horror fans to drool over: Two commentary tracks including one of them being moderated by Joe Begos and a really cool three part making-of documentary that will make you love this film that much more! Giant bugs, slime, gore, and Clint Howard being the cause of the problem makes this a fun package for horror fans as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Hippo’s Revenge (YouTube) – A dad trying to reconnect with his daughter as they have drifted apart because of a death in the family try to save a mother hippo and its offspring by bringing them to their rescue preserve. But Mama Hippo is feisty and very protective of her young but goes missing off the preserve because of an evil animal kidnapper’s (Marx) minions trying to steal the animals because dad didn’t want to sell the hippo. It’s mainly bad CGI chaos with a very thin plot that has you wanting something else to happen other than what you watch as I give it 1 star.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Shark (Tubi) – Henry Jekyll becomes super protective of his dead wife as depression drives him to take an experimental drug called “Sharcopine” as he confides in a friend to tell the story of the changes in him? Henry goes insane as the drug turns him into a horny man-shark but the film gets bogged down with subplots that don’t go anywhere. He’s horny, he’s crazy, but the dude that gave us the glorious ‘Abomination’ instead gave us something nowhere as memorable with too much filler. My friend you should have taken notes from ‘Graveyard Shark’ before you had ventured into the “shark film genre” as I can only give this feature 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Lost Faith (Blu-ray) – The great label “Saturn’s Core” has released an underground fan favorite that was released in 1992 from Joel D. Wynkoop who did his best John “Zombie Deathhouse” Saxon impression (write, direct, starred, produced, even sang a song) to bring his no budget Chuck Norris feature to life… and succeeded! Steve Nekoda is a good looking martial arts dude whose wife heads to a modeling agency for a possible part but when Steve returns to pick her up for their date he finds police and his girl missing. Some bad dudes used the model agency thing as a front to kidnap good looking women, hold them captive on a jungle island, and sell them into slave porn or something. Along the way Steve denouncing God: steals a car, gets in a bunch of fights, gets arrested, gets railroaded by the police, then scolded for losing his faith. A week after the disappearance the wife’s best friend shows up at the door to lead Steve to rescue his wife as this begins to restore his faith in finding her. This is the ultimate special edition SOV action package for Joel Wynkoop fans as there is a new extended cut of the film, an intro from Joel explaining how some of the film was shot in 1988, 1989 then released in 1992, a Joel Wynkoop commentary, an old making of documentary, alternate flashback film opening and ending, and a 2018 short film sequel called “Nekoda”. Through pure determination you got to respect what Mr. Wynkoop accomplished which also makes for an interesting deep dive into the early career of Joel D. Wynkoop and his impact on independent filmmaking as I give this package 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood on the Bleachers (Blu-ray) – A west coast filmmaker named Chase Dudley is starting to make waves in the independent film community as he is driven to make a difference with his projects that are well produced, in different genres, and with not much money. This slasher film centers on a masked killer who killed two years before at a high school with no witnesses. Now, a professor, Mr. Reynolds, challenges his senior students to group together for their class assignment to investigate. Not just rehash what happened but do a deep dive to see if they can come up with new theories or clues that the police have failed to find. As the students get serious about the project the masked killer returns to claim more victims in this great production that also sports a great cast. But as a viewer with it’s just over two hour running time it wore me down more than entice me to invest who the killer is? Again I know there is a few recent two hour plus horror films out there but I am telling you filmmakers and future filmmakers, people like a Roger Corman or Charles Band were not wrong about running times for your picture as I give the movie 2 out of 4 stars. Edited to 95 minutes I truly believe this film would have been a much meaner spirited slasher than it comes off.

Frankenshark (Blu-ray) – Every once in a while you watch a film that you question if it is an actual film or just something completely else hiding as a film? This Bill Zebub project is just that as the other title for this flick is “Dickshark”. The whole plot of this film is a so-called scientist has misplaced his experimental ‘penis enlargement cream’. When the cream is used somehow there becomes a shark dildo creation that gets loose in the water system then attacks naked women. With each attack the monstrosity becomes larger with no way of being stopped as said so-called scientist aka Bill Zebub goes on a weird political tirade with another character as different metal songs are played over lots of slow motion scenes throughout the movie. Bill Zebub has his detractors and also has his fans but this project left me asking “is this an actual movie?” as I cannot even give it a rating.

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