Gross Movie Reviews #685

Brute 1976 (On Demand) – On August 19, 1976 a group of people headed out to the middle of nowhere desert for a photo shoot that was near the ghost town of “Savage” where stories of people going missing there intrigues the group. Of course unbeknownst to the group a weird ass family lives there to feed on strangers when they pass through. One by one the family picks them off like kids playing with their toys on Christmas morning. The film stars Sarah French who was great as usual as the film has this ‘House of a 1000 Corpses’ vibe but never fulfills its potential of entertaining thrills as from the beginning it feels like its missing that certain ingredient to make it awesome. For that I can only give this flick 2 stars.

Movie Theater Massacre (Tubi) – The Redford Movie Theatre is closing this week as staff is sad to see it go as their jobs will also. Lots of commentary by the characters why theaters are going away these days: COVID, Streaming, Netflix, no 70s erotica, you are getting the picture. But a mystery person has taken it upon themselves to kill off the employees and eventually steal stuff. What seems like a fun premise takes a complete left turn into absurdity as ghosts from the theater’s past kills the killer and somehow the once being sold theater is saved… WTF? The film starts off as a self-aware we are smarter than you watching this movie kind of thing then turns into a complete farce of “we have no clue what we actually want this movie to be”. For that you get 0.0 stars. I feel like there was an idea in there somewhere but yinz quickly got away from it.

Weapons (Amazon) – A film to me at least that was advertised as a modern day ‘Village of the Damned’ actually is not as in a small community a whole classroom of kids except one disappears in the middle of the night. The teacher of this classroom is haunted by the event as she cannot leave things alone by must knowing what really happened. One concerned parent begins to figure things out but this is where we get several stories or points of view from several characters that eventually intersect explaining the evil that is in the town. The movie is a solid scare but not the horror film for me if that makes sense as the cop character and his story arc easily could have been cut out chopping this movie down to a more reasonable viewing experience. Again the movie has an interesting way of unfolding but I believe this horror film is meant for more the mainstream crowd as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityviller Killer (Fawesome) – First, yes you read that spelling right. Second, welcome to entry #70 kids that happens to be a short film consisting of a woman slaughtering Amityville residents. But just when you knew what the hell was going on an alien has landed in Amityville to snatch up subjects for its leader that happens to be a guinea pig. What does this all mean? Could not for the loves of Rutger Hauer tell you but it was better than ‘Amityville Mt. Misery Road’. For just the utter weirdness I give this 24 minute project 2 out of 4 stars.

The Amityville Lost Tape (Fawesome) – Oh my kids we got entry #71 here as its present day Halloween where an individual finds a VHS tape in a bowl of candy he stole. The tape consist footage of three individuals who are so-called paranormal investigators who plan to visit the Amityville home. To their credit they do a deep dive into everything supernatural or paranormal: EVPs, horoscopes, tarot card readings, discussions, etc. Everything builds to the three visiting the Amityville house in attempt to catch or report something ghastly. But in the end all we get is the characters walking near it and driving near it then some static. There is wonderful buildup by the filmmaker but a disappointing way to end a found footage film as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Evil Night (Blu-ray) – Looking for an oddity well you got it here as Chris Seaver and crew in 2014 remade Todd Jason Cook’s underground Indy film from 1992 with a more comedic twist. The plot revolves around your classic movie nerd Jimmy Fisher who is obsessed with the cute redhead Jennifer he is tutoring. But Jennifer with the help of friends convinces her to prank Jimmy in his basement/lab as they plan to post the footage on social media. This sends Jimmy over the edge to wear a clown mask and slaughter those who wronged him. Right or wrong people this was a crude but fun remake to check out but more than likely yinz will think it’s more of a Seaver film than a remake. No matter I give this entertaining remake with a ‘Slaughter High’ vibe 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

He’s Coming to Get You! (DVD) – This well casted independent horror film is about George waking up to celebrate his 33rd birthday. Aside from his girlfriend Asia forced to work a bit that day they have plans to hang, celebrate, and do the TONGUE trick. The two go visit an occult book store where the store owner spooks them a bit. They are satisfied with the experience only to be accosted immediately by two individuals in an alley where George is shot and killed as his girlfriend is kidnapped for nefarious actions. The occult store owner sees the event happen and brings George back explaining he has six hours to use his new afterlife to save his girlfriend. This feature has a little bit of everything: great cast, great onscreen chemistry between the George and Asia characters, a hilarious foot fetish scene, the occult, something for all independent film fans as I give this quite a piece of entertainment 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

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