Gross Movie Reviews #638

Crocodile Swarm (DVD) – A group of thrill seekers head into an abandoned cave system to explore. But unknowingly they have disturbed a group of crocodiles using it for a nesting spot. Now some rescuers have come to help but there is good chance they will suffer the same fate as the crocs are pissed and sound like a herd of cats fighting at times. It is the usual corny killer animal fun that I will give 2 stars too.

Monster Grizzly (DVD) – A small snowy town where fracking has taken over as the residents are about to know the consequences of fracking as a pissed off grizzly has decided it has had enough! This grizzly is different, the grizzly is not killing for food, and it is literally slaughtering residents because it’s pissed.  Lots of time is wasted in the movie as cops search the mountains for the grizzly even with bloody messes to find everywhere but still can’t find it. Started off fun but gradually has a terrible dull finish as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

Late Checkout (DVD) – Indy filmmaker Josh Graves goes and gives independent movie fans a slasher film which involves a group of friends renting a cabin for a weekend to hang out again. Doesn’t take long for the drama between the young friends to start as it distracts them from a welder’s mask killer showing up to slaughter them one by one? I felt like the movie has a tacked on ending but I would say this film comes off as a cautionary tale for the young people to not Air BnB the cabin you are going too in the woods. The ending may have felt forced but Josh made sure to give fans a straight up old school slasher as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

Screature of the Lagoon (DVD) – A terribly conceived independent film that has locals screaming about a possible creature or something escaping a top secret military facility into the Canadian woods. Some so-called mercs are hired to track down the creature and possibly capture it? Think bootleg “Robowar” but without the fun corny vibe to it that you knew it was a clear “Predator” rip-off as give this 1 star.

The Last Amityville Movie (Tubi) – For those of you still counting with me this is entry #59 into the long running franchise. This entry is from Josh Spiegel who plays himself in the film and considered a content creator and belongs to a horror online group that just covered the last Amityville film “Amityville Zoo”. Another pandemic comes down the pike affecting the world including trapping Josh’s wife and child in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pa. Unemployed and a bored Josh begins to document everything online for his content during this new pandemic. One day Josh receives at his door a mysterious package from Amityville and it’s a doorknob? He makes fun of it online but immediately strange things begin to happen to him in his home. As things get weird he commits to filming everything until he can figure things out. Josh even has contact with a professor who explains that the doorknob is a cursed object from the original dwelling. Now Josh who recently bashed the Amityville series online and after some advice from a filmmaker of several entries has decided to turn this footage into a movie to hopefully be rid of the curse of Amityville. There are a lot of hilarious moments with Josh working in the absurdness of this series including “Amityville Vibrator”! Josh is all about breaking the curse including being chased by a bootleg CHUD in an alternate Amityville world?! I quite enjoyed this piece of entertaining cinema as Mr. Spiegel like Steve Rudzinski’s “Amityville Christmas Vacation” understood from the beginning to not take it too seriously. But just like Nathan Rumler’s “Amityville Vibrator” and the just mentioned Rudzinski project use your mind to put a great twist on the series that viewers will actually enjoy watching instead of moaning halfway through they are watching another shitty entry! Spiegel’s entry is well-crafted and a fun watch for all who have put themselves through watching so many of these Amityville movies as I give it 3 ½ stars.  

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