Gross Movie Reviews #384

 

Full Eclipse (DVD) – Oh the glory of random HBO original movies… This lesser known werewolf film if you can classify it as that was released in 1993 starring Bruce Payne, Mario Van Peebles, Patsy Kensit, Dean Norris, Jennifer Rubin, and Paula Marshall. Max is a young cop who just lost his partner in a chaotic hostage takeover of a nightclub. Some time passes and his partner is back and good as new or so it seems. Meanwhile a man named Adam Garou wants Max to be part of his “special forces unit” within the police department. They help reduce crime drastically where ever Garou goes. Max not being a team player thinks something is weird and sees it in person when he is invited to a raid of a mob party where this group turns monstrous and kills all! Garou injects the team with a serum of his making that makes the team impervious to pain or being killed. One problem you are part werewolf and could go mad or become disfigured if you do not take the serum on a regular basis. ‘Full Eclipse’ is a very different twist on the werewolf genre that not many horror fans talk about plus added bonus debating if it was influenced by the ‘Wolverine’ character, just sayin? I give the werewolf film 3 stars.

 

Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves (DVD) – Let that title sink in for a minute as it is totally based on an accurate account of Alabama in 1910… Helen and family are attacked by these vicious creatures known as Nightwolves which causes her to be deaf and blind. So Helen takes upon herself to defend her small town and family against the evil creatures with some help from Barry Bostwick. The film also includes a hilarious line when Helen first meets Barry Bostwick’s character and feels his face and says, “It feels like Bruce Campbell”. This movie had me laughing from the time it began to after the credits as it takes nothing serious and that’s good in my book as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ozark Sharks (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Sharks have infested a Colorado lake and there is a dude with a Jeep Cherokee Truck that has a harpoon gun attached to it just because. Okay I will watch but I didn’t say it was good as I give it 1 star.

 

Shark Killer (DVD) – Arnold Vosloo is an unstoppable bad ass who likes diamonds and lives in South Africa. Someone screws over Vosloo and the biggest diamond on earth has been swallowed by a great white shark. The only one that can help is bootleg Chris Pratt aka Chase Walker who makes his living with sharks, sort of. His brother is the one that screwed over Vosloo and Vosloo has been shot, burned, and attacked by sharks but keeps coming. A wonderful overlooked B-movie worth watching with friends and enjoy the cheese but be entertained also as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Sharknado 4: The 4^th Awakens (DVD/SyFy Channel) – It’s been five years since the last known Sharknado has hit anywhere in the world. Ian Ziering as Finn has been resting comfortable at home with his and April’s son and decides to go to Las Vegas. There is the epicenter of Tommy Davidson’s invention of a weather destabilizer and many located around the world stop the Sharknados before they ever get started until now. This time around the Sharknados get started on land and cannot be stopped as there is a snownado, firenado, radioactive Sharknado, you name the nado! Finn rushes back to Kansas to save his son but must help everyone along the way. Tara Reid returns from the aid of her father Gary Busey. David Hasselhoff returns, Lloyd Kaufman makes an appearance, horror fans get Caroline Williams from ‘TCM 2’ fame to make not one but two references to ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, and if that wasn’t enough Steve Guttenberg shows up with a Stephen King ‘Christine’ reference! The series is fun but as I said last time out I believe the series needs to end as I give it 2 stars.

 

2 Lava 2 Lantula (DVD/SyFy Channel) – I believe I have finally broken the computer’s spellcheck with that title? Steve Guttenberg is back as Colton and this time he has to go save his college-aged daughter in Florida as the lava spiders are attacking again. With the help of his partner Michael Winslow, Colton leaves his latest film project to find his daughter, throw out I believe a very random ‘Cocoon’ reference, and fight with Martin Kove about not waking the queen lava spider and long enough for Kove to say “sweep the leg”. The sequel still has the magic of the first film but like ‘Sharknado’ kill off the series before it becomes a shell of itself and where in the hell is the real star Michael Varrati? I give the sequel that had some awesome trailers 3 stars.

 

Spectre (DVD) – James Bond faces his own extinction and must make a choice as the demise of the “007” program is about to be finalized but for the wrong reasons. With no one to trust and being tracked by his own government James must find out why the program is about to go away but why one man is about to be given all the power of most of the world’s securities and be able to track and see anything and everything. I really enjoyed the Bond film as I thought it was a spectacular ending to the recent stretch of Daniel Craig entries. Will it be his last remains to be seen but if there is one more this has made sure we will get finally a stand-alone Bond film that has no connection to the past films. This film presents a case that Bond is still relevant as I give it 3 stars.

 

Outlaw of Gor (VHS/Comet TV) – The Professor Cabot once again returns to the world of Gor where the place he once saved is in trouble as a high priest and a cheating queen cause issues in the kingdom. The high priest is played by Jack Palance and this 1988 film has made it on many bad film lists over the years and one of the more popular episodes of MST3K among fans. For me it’s a sequel and I seen the first fantasy film so of course I needed to see this oddity as I give it 2 stars.

 

Frontier Marshal (YouTube) – As a request from a friend I watched this western to review it and glad I did. The 1939 film is all about Wyatt Earp and the O.K. Coral and put it simply influences the modern day film ‘Tombstone’ that stars Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. It’s wild as we get to see a young John Carradine, a young Cesar Romero play Doc Holliday, and the Wolfman himself Lon Chaney Jr. playing a henchmen/paid gunman. Enough violence to make it stand out from the usual westerns of the day but its portrayal of the O.K. Coral is amazing and you understand why so many kids of that era wanted to be cowboys. I give this oldie but goodie 3 ½ stars.

Creature Feature (DVD/Vimeo) – Filmmaker Chase Smith presents to you an anthology of scary stories that are being told by a group of friends trying to scare each other at a Halloween party. We have clown statues, revenge zombies, witches, scarecrow/pumpkin man, and a haunted house with a baby killer/werewolf who lives there. The group is trying to scare the shit out of each other with each story as drink more and more but who ends up scaring who is the twist. The 80s inspired anthology screams fun with its short quick stories, nudity, and gore and gives horror/Halloween themed film fans something else to look forward to watch for the upcoming Halloween holiday as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can found out more about the film at www.braindamagefilms.com and www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Batman: The Killing Joke (DVD) – The comic book story of Batman and Joker of where Joker crossing the line comes to animation film land. Batman has been training Batgirl/Barbara Gordon for a few years now and things have become different at least for Batgirl. Frustrated, she goes out on her own to fight a mob boss’ son who wants to get in the head of Batgirl. Once resolved and the relationship has changed between Batman and Batgirl, The Joker has found his way out of the asylum and has big plans for Commissioner Gordon and his daughter. I enjoyed the film till the end where Batman and the Joker just laugh together instead of killing each other. I am sure there is some comic book nerds that will explain this to me but I thought someone die after Barbara Gordon was raped at gun point. I give the film 2 stars.

Hollywood Nightmare (DVD/Vimeo) – Another Chase Smith film that stars Zoe Meyers as a stuck up actress Kendall Summers who thinks she is a movie star before she has become one. Kendall walks off her latest project for the weekend to get together with friends and show off her new million dollar home she just signed the papers to lease. Once there her two friends have better plans as their boyfriends show up and Kendall is forced to go to bed alone and drunk. Annoyed, Kendall keeps hearing noises all night. Next morning Kendall practicing lines for Monday’s scenes notices a shadow/a dark figure while studying the tape of her lines. When the leasing agent Sam keeps showing up unexpected, Kendall begins to question Sam about the history of the home. Sam is vague about everything as Kendall continues to hear noises, have dreams, and see a dark figure. The film is a fun thriller that runs a little longer than I like but the performance of Zoe Meyers is what makes this story work as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars. You can find out more at: www.braindamagefilms.com and www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Reviled: Ep. 2 (Vimeo) – Filmmaker Jim Stramel continues his zombie saga that revolves around zombie pit fighting in the south. The events happen after the zombie apocalypse has come and gone and were a blimp on the social radar screen. Frank and his zombie daughter travel in their dirty van killing or crippling zombies in the illegal sport for money. But the real story is how Frank is still attached to his undead daughter and refuses to let go. This episode continues to introduce some new characters and expand the universe of this unique idea. Its dirty, has a lot of grime, a little gory, and absolutely beautiful zombie universe. My favorite part of this episode might be the kids selling bug spray for 25 cents as it is a little thing that makes it known to me that Jim Stramel takes this project seriously and make me wanting more! I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Wanna check it out or maybe throw a few dollars Stramel and company’s way to help fund future episodes go to: www.reviledzombieseries.com .

 

Vile Prey (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Tim Novotny has a new sick horror project out there. It begins with three men doing a blood ritual of sorts but we are quickly thrown into a scene of brutality as the three men are torturing a couple during a house invasion. Credits roll… with news clips on television about murders, serial killer, and the local authorities being baffled but determined in solving these small county murders. But the three men are getting sloppy with their work and what seems just another torture movie takes a left turn when Marcus, the leader’s van has engine trouble on a dark back road. Soon they are being watched by someone with a night vision gun scope who captures Marcus. Beats him up a little, drugs him, and explains it is time for a hunt as Marcus is left disoriented in the middle of the woods. The man is named Max and he captures Marcus’ two cohorts to torture and maim them. The weird thing is Max’s brother is Dan head of the police department who knows all about what Max is doing in the middle of the dark woods. They believe in justice and covering it up so the feds believe the killer or killers are dead or captures. Novotny does a balancing act between thriller and just another torture revenge flick with ‘Vile Prey’. The film could have gone in many directions and I would not be surprised if there were several revisions of the script from Novotny as I can easily see the talented filmmaker revisiting this material again for another twisted project. ‘Vile Prey’ is somewhat brutal and interesting and shows Novotny is just getting started writing and directing wise as I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info and to see the trailer check out: www.facebook.com/VilePrey .

 

Legendary (DVD) – The film is also known as ‘Tomb of the Dragon’ and stars Scott Adkins as Dr. Preston who is a cryptozoologist who is tracks down strange creatures to see if they exist or they are just mere myth. On his latest expedition one of his young assistants is killed when they find a prehistoric bear and Dolph Lundgren as Harker shoots at it wanting another trophy on his wall. Months have pass and lawsuits are piling up from Harker until a mysterious lawyer comes by the office to have Dr. Preston look into a dragon/giant lizard/croc-like creature attacking in China. The creature keeps attacking a facility that has already hired Harker to kill the creature. This is a Saturday night SyFy Channel film if I ever seen one and with Adkins and Lundgren starring in it this film was a blast as I give it 3 stars.

 

Dead Rising: Endgame (On Demand) – Jesse Metcalfe is back as Chase Carter the reporter who broke the story about Zombrex and the military and based on the video game. Two years have passed and Chase has entered the East Mission Quarantine Zone tracking his story still about the military and the zombies. The military has expanded to using drug dealers in and out of the quarantined zone in exchange for fresh subjects for experimentation. Chase gets the footage but starts the clock on the “Afterlife Project”. A fail safe for the military to kill all 1.5 million people who are infected and have the tracking devices implanted in them at the same time. Ultimately the military will release another zombie virus into the population for them to keep the experiment going. Chase with the help of his news team and his gun nut friend go through the infected city to get to the V.A. hospital to shut down the Afterlife Project from its source. Plus what is a zombie without Billy Zane as a crazy doctor experimenting on humans and zombies? A fun zombie video game adaption that goes unnoticed because it’s not called ‘Resident Evil’. I enjoyed both games but feel ‘Dead Rising’ is the superior zombie movie series thus far or until ‘Resident Evil’ gets rebooted as it needs to be? Zombie fans stop waiting for the next lame season of ‘The Walking Dead’ and live or die a little and take a chance watching these entertaining zombie flicks as I give this sequel 3 stars.

 

Alien Uprising (Blu-ray) – An alien film that is British, has Jean-Claude Van Damme for twenty minutes, and the aliens win? Okay you got my attention! Once all the power goes out and the military is fighting a losing battle against aliens a group of friends fight to survive and go visit Uncle JCVD… A little different and worth the watch for weird people like me and Jon Cross as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

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