Gross Movie Reviews #660

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Supercock (Blu-ray) – An odd 70s film literally about “cockfighting”! What is actually really cool is watch the movie with the commentary done by Fred Olen Ray as he has never watched the film until he did this commentary as he has loads of fun stories to tell about all who were involved in this project. The plot is about an American cowboy taking his rooster to the Philippines for the first Olympic Cockfighting Championship. It is nowhere near a horror film as much as an adventure/comedy of sorts as once the prized rooster is there it gets kidnapped. Then there is a whole thing of misadventures of getting the bird to the fights in time to prove this cowboy knew exactly what he was doing. The movie was okay but the wonderful commentary performed by Fred Olen Ray help me learn a lot than about this project and about filmmaker Ross Hagen who was a part of this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (On Demand) – Surprised there was a sequel to that poor excuse for a movie adaption a year or so ago but more of these adaptions are coming so be prepared. This film goes completely out of its way while also sticking with the story of Pooh and Christopher Robin to give a much better horror film that makes you wish the first film never existed. The sequel picks up some time after the first film where Christopher Robin is pretty much declared a murderer by most in the town of Ashtown. Things have settled some but there is still people hunting down the potential Pooh and gang for execution. But Pooh and friends have had enough running and decide it is time to take out their frustrations on Ashtown and leave a bloody trail through the town looking for Christopher. More goes on with all the characters that actually give this a much interesting and fun backstory, But I say no more as that would be unfair to horror fans who haven’t seen this monster flick as I give it 3 stars.

Dressing Up Halloween: The Story of Ben Cooper, Inc. (On Demand) – This is a documentary that most likely will hit all people not just horror movie fans over the age of 35 of a man who changed a holiday with his company’s costume designs. The original business was in Brooklyn, New York where people were proud to work there and happy to see their work every Halloween. The doc goes through all the characters, licensing of them, how these famous costumes were made, etc. along with interviews of people who worked in the Ben Cooper warehouse. It’s fun as they go through all the boxes, the art, and the famous costumes a lot of us wore as kids for Halloween as I give it 3 stars.

The Icing (DVD) – One of the first films from Derek Braasch in 2014 is a no budget crime thriller which I wasn’t expecting. But to give credit where it’s due as the filmmaker gives us a well-executed late 90s mob feel kind of film that may run a little too long but in the end a definite solid watch. It begins with an ex-cop, Fin Scott, being offered $100,000 for a hit on a local Senator. Senator Bellows is taken out, Finn soon finds out the very beautiful younger wife is the person that ordered it as things get very messy from there. The characters are believable, I enjoyed what was pulled off to make this project happen so kudos to all involved as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Maxxxine (Max) – So the third film in the trilogy (X, Pearl), in which I am not a huge fan of Mia Goth to begin with but since it’s a horror film I was curious to see how Ti West was gonna end this saga? It is now 1985; Maxine is a popular porn star who would like to make it in the mainstream acting world. The background is set with “The Night Stalker” murders taking place at the same time as everything comes to a head of Maxine’s career. So when a friend or two is murdered, detectives and a sleazy private investigator begin to follow her for different reasons as Maxine’s past has caught up to her finally. I can understand why horror fans enjoyed this film a lot but in the end it was not for me as I just felt I didn’t need this story of Maxine? Maybe it is because I am hung up on ‘X’ should have been a stand-alone film… don’t know. The picture is another piece of solid 80s nostalgia and I cannot complain with that as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Night of Terror (YouTube) – Here is an 18 minute horror short from Jim Campbell that sets the tone immediately as his picture takes place “Friday the 13th in October”. This is the type of picture I like seeing once in a while as it is being told through music, sounds, and actions not dialogue holding on to that old school classic silent film vibe. The story follows a man home alone that evening that is haunted by something ghastly in his dreams and his reality. Thought the film was quite entertaining, loved how it was shot and just loved the atmosphere it was going for as I give Mr. Campbell’s short film 3 out of 4 stars.

The Emasculator (Blu-ray) – This newer SOV flick centers around a young woman named Cindy and her father who haven’t had the best relationship since the passing of Cindy’s mother. After another argument Cindy heads out on a date with a guy who has a whole other definition of a date as Cindy sadly learns the hard way. Cindy is raped and filmed to her father’s dismay in a hotel room and instead of listening to Cindy’s wishes of letting it go he takes upon himself for revenge with a tool used for castrating cattle. He doesn’t just want revenge but to mutilate these sick men. This SOV flick is a fun ride through sleaze, revenge, a love for a daughter, which the film has a sick twist that may leave you disliking all characters involved as it gave off Nailgun Massacre vibes to me. Just for that folks I got give this picture 3 ½ out of 4 stars.   

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Gross Movie Reviews #590

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Troll (On Demand) – A Norwegian flick of adventure and myth were a paleontologist named Nora is brought into a secret meeting by the government after a mysterious explosion in the mountains where there has been mining. Nora grew up on stories of trolls, monsters, and such that use to roam these famous old mountains but never expected to actually think they are real until she sees the footage of the explosion. Nora’s father was right and the government wants answers on how they can protect the people and rid the country of such problem. But the fairy tale is very real and Nora must convince all before Norwegian government tries to kill something that is unkillable and that is a giant ‘Troll’. This isn’t some SyFy Channel Asylum shit, this film has something backstory, gives the Troll some folklore, fun shit I say as I give this film 3 stars.

Zombie Cop (DVD) – A 1991 independent feature that does its best imitation of “Dead Heat” where voodoo priest “Death” curses a detective during a shootout. Both rise from the grave not too long after and the chase is on as a rotting, bandaged up detective and his partner try to track down “Death” again and bring him down for good! Hilarious plot, fun characters (including a young James L. Edwards), and some bad ass stunts for an early 90s Indy flick as I give 2 ½ stars.

Maximum Impact (DVD) – This flick was a part of a double feature DVD with “Zombie Cop” and equally fun. An average guy Jerry, who happens to be a good insurance salesman and has an okay life until, he heads into the big city for his company’s insurance conference. Once there Jerry meets up with an old friend Phil and they encounter a seedy looking fellow George who wants to introduce Jerry to a kinky underworld party that happens during this conference. George is lets say part of the “entertainment division” who ‘helps’ new members at the conference. Jerry not into at all but his friend Phil is gets a one of a kind experience??? Jerry just worried about his friend comes in late to the action only to find his friend being a part of a snuff film and a young lady/hooker who is an unwilling participate! Jerry swoops in when the girl is left alone and convinces her to come with him but the “entertainment division” isn’t too keen on this happening and head to Jerry’s little town to ruin everything. But Jerry doesn’t plan on going down quickly as he goes all “Commando” on people! This is a gritty, depressing Indy action film that has fun with what little they have but find a way to pull it off as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Pearl (DVD) – I enjoyed “X” but didn’t love it like a lot of horror fans and that is fine. Now this is a prequel to that film where we are introduced to Pearl as a thriving, beautiful, talented young woman who wants more than working on a farm, taking care of her father, and dealing with her P.O.S. mother. As she gets not so good reaction at an audition the movie devolves into madness for Pearl. I found the film a little over dramatic, dull, and most importantly unneeded. (Cue the hate because I disagree with a lot of horror fans) The movie isn’t bad at all, it is watchable but for me I felt this may have been the “most unneeded film of the year”. Examples: did we need an origin story/prequel for TCM? Did we need Rob Zombie to explain Michael Myers in the reboot? I am gonna guess most of you are going to say “yes”…? Or let me try to explain it this way: why do every Hollywood filmmaker believe we need a trilogy or “Avengers: Endgame” type of film every time out. We don’t need an origin story every time out and we don’t need nine hours of a film every time out. How about just an 80 minute fucked up horror film that isn’t catering to “The Walking Dead” crowd every time out (trying to grab the mainstream audience every time out is like hitting the lottery) and move on as I give this film 2 stars and just feel it was “unneeded”.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (Shudder) – Oh “VFW” dude (Joe Begos) is back! And this time horror fans get a horror holiday treat where Tori and her employee/longtime friend Robbie have had one hell of a day at the record store on Christmas Eve. Now it’s time to party and hang with their two friends down the street at the toy store to party a little but that is where the happy holiday celebration ends… The realistic robotic Santa Claus that greets you at the store doorway is being recalled for malfunctioning. See these robotic Santa’s were used as military weapons for the government and they are going back to their original missions which why the recall. When it comes to life it is complete chaos for Tori and the sleepy little town as it becomes a combo of “Terminator” and “Class of 1999” meets Santa Claus! It starts a little slow but I get it as Begos and crew like actually telling a story where you care about the characters but it eventually becomes a gory holiday mess of a film! I might not be as good as “VFW” for me at least but I still give this holiday horror 3 ½ stars.

The Warby Range Massacre (DVD/YouTube) –  An Australian short film (24 minutes) where three friends get a little lost on their way to Melbourne but are greeted by a random old dude. Old dude explains there is a cabin down the road for them to stay the night and then get on the road in the morning. The three take him up on his offer but get to the place and feel a shed that is about to fall down isn’t a cabin? So the three head out in the woods with tents but they have just stumbled into the territory of a family who likes to reenact their favorite film of all time “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. Fun take on a fan made film from the other side of the globe as I give it 3 stars.

Bearry (DVD) – Young Chloe is having trouble with dating after a horrible divorce from her douchebag husband but she does have a great best friend who brings her a giant teddy bear for her to enjoy when alone. This gift ends up being a mistake as Chloe has tried giving it a go in the dating world believes there might not be a man out there for her? After Chloe says the magical words “I love you” to the bear, potential dates are being murdered with two detectives looking at Chloe as the main suspect. Once Chloe learns the truth she now has to convince others what is really happening before she ends up arrested for murder. A hilarious horror film with a great cast (Sarah French, Felissa Rose, Vernon Wells, and Sheri Davis) that has a couple clumsy scenes but it is a horror movie about a killer giant teddy bear and its wonderful as I give it 3 stars.

Revenge of Bigfoot (DVD/YouTube) – Rory Calhoun is a farmer that is greeted by an Indian named Okinagan who is just looking for work. They quickly get along and become friends but the local townsfolk are racist bastards and want rid of him! But then a Bigfoot comes roaming around fucking shit up and guess what people are not all about being racist when a hairy creature is fucking up their farms! A fun Bigfoot film if you are a fan of the 70s Bigfoot madness as I give it 2 stars.     

Skinamarink (Shudder/Festivals) – I believe as the film states it takes place in 1995 where a couple of kids cannot sleep one night and some odd supernatural shit begins to happen. Dad disappears, there are questions about mom, and there are weird voices in the background fucking with the two kids that are alone. Okay, this was a little artsy fartsy for me and falls under the category of “not my cup of tea” but I can easily understand why some younger horror fans will absolutely amazed by this piece of filmmaking. Without spoiling too much…? This wasn’t a film for me but totally get what they were trying to do and I believe they have accomplished it? It’s a rare thing to do something different in low budget filmmaking but they have accomplished their goal! But in my opinion the trailer is much better than the film and maybe would have been more effective as a short film (20-25 minutes) but also believe this could be a horror film people will talk about the next year or two or compare other projects too? I may not be a fan but respect what I watched even though I can only give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!