Gross Movie Reviews #424
The Lost Tribe (DVD) – A scientific group is sent to a small island where it is believed lost natives still live there cut off from the rest of the world. The point is explore and prove that the missing link does exist as its worth millions. But things change when Lance Henriksen shows up to take the evidence and kill anyone there. Things get even more ut of control when a small boat shipwrecks on the island and finds whats left of base camp. Blood, broken shit everywhere and the shipwrecked people feel like they are not alone. They are not as these lost natives still live and like to hunt humans! The box art looks kinda like a ‘Predator’ rip-off but still cool, the story sounds good, but when watching it just seems the movie got too much going on when it should have just focused on the tribe. I give this flick 2 stars.
Lovelace (DVD) – A film that documents or reacts the rise and fall of the woman known as Linda Lovelace. Anybody over the age of 30 knows the name or has at least googled it, or even stumbled upon her work at some point. The young woman basically change the porn industry as her film “Deep Throat” brought porn into the mainstream. The porn she starred in played in many mainstream theaters and was a milestone for the business in the 70s. That was only part of the story as Ms. Lovelace spent the rest of her life trying to not be a part of the business that used her to grow it worldwide. After an abusive husband and a bad time of seeing the shitfest the porn business could be at the time she just wanted a normal life and move on. A great film that gives you the inside stuff on what really happened throughout her life as she said, “She was only in the business for 17 days.” I give the flick 3 stars.
Operation: Endgame (DVD) – A well produced under the radar action/comedy about the changing of the president from Bush to Obama as the back drop. The two branches of the secret government in their underground lair go ape shit on each other when their secret lair goes on lockdown. No escape as they are about to be purged unless they find out who killed their superior. It is a comedy but there is some really surprising brutal fight scenes and a bit of gore. And the cast isn’t your no name just starting in the business type of cast, this film has some vets that I will not name just so you go watch this very amazing movie. This is a treat we old people would find from time to time in the video store during the days of straight-to-video. Snowed in, rainy day, calling off work cause they suck a bag of dicks, then look for this flick as I give it 3 1/2 stars.
Dark Skies (DVD) – This film is like a lost episode of “The X-files” staring Kerri Russell (I don’t know why but she always bothers me ever since showing up on the WB network) and also could be compared to if smashed the films “Paranormal Activity” and “Signs” together? I don’t know if that works for you but Kerri and family keep having strange shit happen to them. They are a well to do family that suddenly has like something randomly coming through the back door at night, setting up puzzles and art work with their chairs and plates, making signs that they are aliens… Being rich white people they do not know how to deal with it until they are accused of child abuse and go visit the crazy dude aka J.K. Simmons and explains aliens are fucking with them. The movie is interesting but yet boring at times too. Different cast or maybe better different pacing of the film could have made this a better watch because the material is there. I give it 2 stars.
No One Lives (DVD) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this was such a pleasant surprise. We have a family of criminals who look for small time heists, people to screw over, cons, etc. Their last job goes bad when they had to kill the people that lived at the house they were robbing early. Upset, they hit the bar and find a normal looking couple that looks like they have money? The innocent couple is moving and just wants left alone but of course that cannot happen. The couple gets taken on a dimly lit road and the criminals believe they got a score that will make up for the last one that went wrong. Things go sideways when the woman of the couple slices her own throat on a knife and they break into the gentlemen’s car only to find a blonde woman tied up in the trunk. Things go to even weirder when they learn this normal looking man is a crazed and beyond smart serial killer that is upset his trophy has been killed. Chaos ensues as the criminals now become the hunted in their own home. Brutal and beautiful at the same time as I give it 3 1/2 stars.
The Machine (DVD) – Its the future and a very bright doctor named Vincent McCarthy is doing research and trying to develop A.I. that will like a human. Lots of tries but it always thinks like a computer. He wants it to be logical. He dreams of a cyborg of sorts that you cannot tell the difference. But also too he is trying make a program, a chip, or parts that would form with the human brain, arm, leg to become one with them. The good doctor is trying this on war vets that have no hope of brain function or missing limbs and no where else to turn. Of course the government that is funding the project wants it as a weapon. The government’s goal is to defeat China in this not too distant future. While looking for an assistant or testing them Dr. McCarthy finds Ava, a woman who has a program of her own that is fond of the good doctor and how he treats the program as an equal. When the higher ups feel Ava and Vincent are getting to close they kill Ava. Dr. McCarthy knows this and builds a prototype robot with Ava in mind. From there the film gets very interesting as it does not take the usual twists you would expect. Enjoyable flick that may explain this reality is not as far away as we common people think as I give it 3 1/2 stars.
It Stains the Sands Red (DVD) – A different kind of zombie flick where a woman forms a relationship with a random zombie out in the desert. When her and the boyfriend get stuck in the sand on the side of the highway they are attacked by a lone zombie. Before I go on I must explain the film opens up with the zombie apocalypse hitting in Vegas and these two are trying to make it to an air field to fly to Mexico! Once the boyfriend is bitten and the woman travels into the desert she spends most of the movie roaming the desert and talking to this lone zombie that keeps shambling along to her. The film goes on a bit long but I did enjoy the story of the relationship that is formed between the woman and the zombie. I give it 2 1/2 stars.
Zombie Massacre 2: Reich of the Dead (DVD) – The zombie flick should have been called the “Reich of poop” as the movie was not much about anything. Mainly about a team of soldiers trapped in a building by Nazi zombie experiments. Not really worth your time zombie fans and go back and watch “Frankenstein’s Army” you will thank me later as I give this 0 stars.
Master of the Drunken Fist: Beggar So (DVD) – A story about a rich kid ‘So Chan’ who has everything but also is a great fighter. But when the these fighters get together in front of their king and he gets screwed over he wants to get back at them after he is forced to be nothing. He gets together with a rogue settlement of people who believe in equality and drunken boxing or fighting. He learns this skill so he get his revenge. Cool action flick but without Jackie Chan the movie just seems like it is missing something the whole time you are viewing it. I give it 2 stars.
Brutal Relax (Vimeo) – From the makers of one of the best films of 2017 “Fist of Jesus” in my mind that I watched, comes this beautiful gem! A man is told by his doctor he needs to relax so this man heads to the beach in his white underwear, sits on the beach, and listens to music. He loves it, he is relaxing… Then ugly creatures come from the sea and begin a brutal bloody gore filled massacre on the beach. Our main character still sits blissfully unaware of whats going on as people are running for their lives and being ripped a aprt and feasted on! The creatures luck changes for the bad when the man’s music stops and he stands up in a fit of rage and takes it out on the creatures. Once again brilliant, beautiful, fun, amazing, and down right entertaining. For me 2018 has started off right with this short film as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on this project and the great “Fist of Jesus” head over to http://www.fistofjesus.com .
Death Cases (DVD) – A creepy and a little sleazy flick from Russia that is hosted by a man known as the ‘Gravedigger’ takes you the viewer through real stories of death. Think of it as a another branch of the genre that has titles such as “Faces of Death”, “Necromantik”, and “Traces of Death”. The blends together brutal scenes of tapes, footage, voiceovers, and pictures of different demented psychos along some of their own footage in it to connect together. Fans of Toe Tag Pictures’ “August Underground” and “The Murder Collection” may think this the lost film of Fred Vogel and company which is a good thing. Alex Wesley goes for the jugular again in his latest project that will find an audience that will be foaming at the mouth to watch over and over again as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
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Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr
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