Gross Movie Reviews #522

III: Final Contagium (DVD) – So first of all the title since it isn’t from the US I have seen a couple ways you the viewer are supposed to say the title: a) the way I have written it, b) I also had someone explain to me it was (ILL: Final Contagium) which makes some sense for what the film is…, c) also I have had one person email me claiming it is third in the series (which after a very short internet search it is not, but that dude insisted, hahaha). Anyway folks we have a film that is broken into four segments like anthology of sorts where a deadly virus has been unleashed. What connect all the stories are the ongoing news reports on television and radio throughout the segments has four filmmakers contributed to this project. First story is a man picking up a dying woman, second story is about a man seeming like he is helping another out on the street, third is about body modifications going wrong, and the fourth story is about a man trying to save his son at the edge of the end of the world. It is a gooey, fun, disturbing watch for all as I give it 3 stars.

 

Scalps (DVD) – Not the horror film but a western from 1987 that was written by no other, Bruno Mattei! A confederate officer of a Texas fort refuses to admit the Civil War is over and it is time to put down arms. (Sounds very close to what is going on in Washington D.C. right now). Still believing in the war and they have yet to surrender the officer sends troops into Indian land to ravage the land and steal a squaw he fancies. She escapes on the travel back to the fort and finds a lonely rancher who retired from the mess that was called the confederate army after his wife was raped and killed. Both farmer and Indian dislike each other but that doesn’t stop these two from hating this little army of soldiers more as they both have issues with them. So as they try to escape they dish out their own kind of justice to this army as they are to be tracked down and killed. I give this interesting western 2 ½ stars.

 

Interviewing Monsters and Bigfoot (On Demand) – Tom Green is a Missouri forest ranger who is always giving a guy they call the professor trouble because he is always in search of Bigfoot. The professor is a widow and lost his wife in an accident when they witnessed Bigfoot years ago and thus setting in motion his search. The Bigfoot sightings are up again and the professor and crew are setting up a trap for it. But unknown to them the forest ranger and the government actually know that Bigfoot exists! The film has monsters, hillbillies, Bigfoot Hunters, a demented forest ranger, and a cover up by a government agency called M.I.G. This sounds like a wonderfully hilarious formula but once the film gets halfway through it seems to lose its way and quickly becomes a hot mess that had potential as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Max Reload and The Nether Blasters (On Demand) – First, I totally believe this film was just pooped out there in the movie verse just because… But second, this film is what you would call a very nostalgic nerd fest that will have viewers loving it or super annoyed and not finish watching the film. The film has some comi-con all-stars and its plot is about a cursed Collecovision game called ‘The Nether Blasters’. (I kept calling it an Atari 2600 game on our Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast, lol.) Anyway, Max is a young gamer who works the local gaming store owned by Kevin Smith who is about to spend a weekend in the VR world.  Max being pressured by his father, Martin Kove to go to that tech school to build games but Max is a slacker. So it isn’t unexpected an old dude known as the ‘Harvester’ leaves an old Collecovision and one of a kind thought to be lost game  ‘The Nether Blasters’ and of course Max plays it and beats it quickly. Just like today’s generation he posts his walk through online and this causes the game demons to start taking over all who play. The game quickly goes global and it’s up to Max, his two friends, and the creators to destroy this Harvester and his plans. As the Harvester collects souls and gains them through gameplay. I give the film 2 ½ stars as it has its moments but also feels like one of those movies you will forget about within the hour after.

MILFS vs. Zombies (DVD) – Another Brad Twigg creation that five seconds in has zombies rampaging a small community. No real reason for the undead walking earth again other than they are chomping on the people and eventually fight the MILFS! It takes about hour or so in before we get to see MILFS fighting zombies so in between all that you literally get to see 25 or so independent horror ideas thrown in to see what works… If anything? We get a zombie critter, a sex party, a mer-man, naked zombies, dick ripping, a guy acting like a dog, bad husbands, and even a dead man’s spirit throwing a machete to his wife to defend herself against the zombie horde. I am sure Brad Twigg wasn’t setting out to remake Romero’s ‘Day of the Dead’ so I believe he may have missed what he was actually going for here. As with a title like that the film should have established the MILFS fighting the zombies from the beginning and still could have had all your random nudity. I give the film maybe 2 stars as for me it comes off as just throwing random stuff into a film more than having an actual plot or structure to what is going on?

 

The Cape Canaveral Monsters (DVD) – This deep dive into drive-in monster obscurity had me watching a 1960 flick where aliens show up on earth to cause issues for the US space program that we now call NASA. The aliens arrive and quickly cause a car accident to take over the couples’ bodies inside. Once the bodies are taken over it is time cause havoc and communicate with other aliens through a fish bowl in a cave they are hiding in. The film is a friendly reminder of fun B-movies to watch from the past but also to actually truly enjoy it would be to watch it at a drive-in with a couple other features of the same ilk. For that I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Die-B-Que (DVD) – Supposedly this is a 1986 S.O.V. film that runs about 32 minutes long from filmmaker Jackson Furley, which also looks to be his only film. Apparently the film with some lost footage got put back together in 2011 for S.O.V. fans to enjoy the lost film. The story is about friends who are traveling to a big BBQ party that is interrupted by a rodent infecting their food and drink with its anal leakage. As the party goers ingest the infected food and drink they become zombies ready to attack their friends. But the film ends quickly after it gets going with some behind the scenes footage afterwards. It isn’t anything too exciting but being a fan of these low budget projects it would have been awesome to see what else they would have filmed or put together in their end product. I give the S.O.V. flick 2 stars.

 

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