Gross Movie Reviews #275

By Tim Gross

Depression: The Movie (Theater/DVD) – Henrique Couto, one of the most talented independent filmmakers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting is back with this feature that introduces the audience to four  poor souls who seem to be doomed in life whether it is by their own doing or not. They all have horrible relationship problems: ex-girlfriends, enjoying being alone because it’s safe, blaming parents, you get the picture of this dark comedy very quickly. This film will make you laugh, it possibly will make you cry, and it will entertain you all. Possibly the best part of the film for me had to be the one character talking to a girl on her bed and as she is undressing because she is so attracted to him he tells the story of going to South Africa and finding a box that was supposed to take him to different heights of pleasure… a wink, wink to Hellraiser which just about made me piss my theater seat in laughter! Mr. Couto once again proves he is a proven talent in the film world that co called “in crowd” needs to take notice! I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and more info about the film can be found at www.depressionthemovie.com .

Eddie Presley (DVD/Theater) – A depressing yet inspiring story of an Elvis impersonator way down on his luck that gets another chance to do what he loves one more time? Eddie lives in a van and works as a security guard that doesn’t pay well to the point a girlfriend/waitress that works at a dive of a diner steals Eddie coffee. But as we see Eddie working he constantly is falling asleep or daydreaming about his past life of being a family man, working man, and also singing with his old group that he talks a lot about to his co-workers. Eddie with his second chance to show off his talents just about has a complete meltdown on stage as his favorite tape gets eaten and he goes into his life story that almost sends his audience running to the doors. Jeff Burr did a great job of telling an inspiring yet depressing fun story that pretty much has everybody and anybody Hollywood name wise make a cameo appearance in the film. After watching the film I am very surprised this film went unnoticed when it came out in the 90s and did not garner more attention award wise for “Best Story” or “Best Director”? Jeff Burr should be proud of this film… If you get anything out of the film it’s if you enjoy something you do, stick with it, follow your dreams. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

This is Horror with Stephen King (DVD-R) – Oh back in 1988, 1989, somewhere around there MTV put on four or five one hour episodes onto their Saturday night schedule before Headbanger’s Ball. These episodes were of Stephen King talking horror films, his books, and random stories of death and mayhem. Plus, we got random clips of horror movies from the 80s that we all enjoy and show behind the scenes of flicks with Steve Johnson and KNB doing their effects. This show wasn’t your father’s Terror in the Aisles… It was a great show and from what I could recall it only played twice on MTV to never be seen again? But it has been pointed out by a few Gross Movie Reviews fans that there was at least one VHS tape put out there, but no official DVD release that myself or many horror fans know of? You can find parts of it on YouTube but if you come across this set of episodes, you must get it by any means possible if you are any type of horror movie fan. I give the show 4 stars.

A Chance in Hell (DVD/Internet) – A perfectly shot independent film about Nazis in the 40s experimenting on humans and something goes wrong after a young bald girl is injected with something that changes her into an inhuman creature that begins to tear apart a couple Nazi officers deep inside their compound that is about to be raided by Americans. Once inside the Americans are also unprepared for the horrors that await them as they must not only kill the infected Nazis but their own troops also once they learn after being bitten they change into these horrific creatures. This film is just absolutely beautiful… The creatures, the gore, and enormous amounts of effects are some of the best I have seen in years. This 32 minute film needs to be made feature length and needs to be supported horror fans. I have to say this is in my top five independent films of 2012 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. Horror fans get off your asses and go to www.scotchworthy.com ! Did I also mention it has German subtitles to give that extra cool horror movie feel to it?

Sand Sharks (DVD) – Corin Nemac, Brooke Hogan, Gina Holden, and shitty looking CGI sharks that swim on land feasting on a concert at the beach during spring break. It’s horrible, yes it is. But I was entertained for 90 minutes as I give it 2 stars.

The Last Battleground (DVD) – A 2008 independent film from Sonny Fernandez and Down Twisted Studios about the world ending and the world lies in the hands of a couple horrible so-called hitmen and a few other dysfunctional characters. Mr. Fernandez’s no budget no problem attitude for the film makes it for an entertaining horror film about survivors fighting off blood thirsty creatures trying to rid the world of humans. The film has a certain first time out filmmaking charm to it that makes you get past the lack of budget and enjoy the film for what it is. I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found for sale at www.amazon.com . Down Twisted Studios and Mr. Fernandez can be found on Facebook.

The New Girls (DVD) – Sonny Fernandez is back with his second feature that tells the story of three women who happen to be vampires and have seen it all. They return to a familiar place of dwelling and the youngest vamp decides it’s time to stop all the senseless killing and believe she can find a man she can trust while the lead female vamp wants to wipe out the town as she and the other two vamps have done so many times before. Mr. Fernandez’s film is filled with paying homage to other cool vampire films and TV series but lack of budget, among several other little things hurt this film in the long run. Like most independent filmmakers who try to make a great vampire film, the odds are against you unlike a zombie film or monster film. You can have a great story, great actors, but it seems like horror fans get very picky if you don’t have the budget to pull off what you want? I like the filmmaker’s story but this is one of those instances that needing a budget helps a long way as I give the film 1 out 4 stars. The DVD is available at www.amazon.com and you can find Down Twisted Studios and Sonny Fernandez on Facebook.

The Complex (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Sonny Fernandez goes for the completely weird and odd direction in a film about tenants of an apartment complex that is held against their will and has no memory of who they were before but only numbers on their wrists. But if that wasn’t enough the tenants are terrorized from time to time by this black garbage bag-like creature named “The Keeper”.  But it only takes one to upset the balance as one man known as 109 isn’t satisfied with the answers he has been given and sets out to solve the mystery of the complex. The story is interesting and can be fun but the biggest problem I believe with the film is it shouldn’t be two hours as much as a 20 or 30 minute short film. The film suffers from not editing it down more than no budget or other factors independent filmmakers run into.  I give the film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and can be purchased on www.amazon.com . Also don’t forget you can Sonny and crew on Facebook.

Highway 91 (DVD) – A trio of survivors traveling a land that zombies have long taken over. The survivors not having answers of the origin of the outbreak nor care are just looking for a safe place to live their life. Along the their travels they come upon other survivors who are just trying to survive also and decide the route they are looking for is Highway 91 and it will lead them to a safe haven from zombies. If they can survive themselves and the zombies constant attacking they just might make it? Mr. Fernandez’s no budget no problem attitude continues in this 2011 independent zombie film that suffers a lot from bad zombie effects and a running time that rivals Romero’s zombie classic Dawn of the Dead. I always enjoy bad zombie flicks but having a lot of bad dialogue scenes, lack of editing, and wanting the lead characters to die of a quick death didn’t make me enjoy the epic running time of this flick. But if you are a zombie fan and want to see it for yourself you can purchase the film at www.amazon.com as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. Also you can support Sonny Fernandez and Down Twisted Studios through his Facebook pages.

Justice League: The New Frontier (DVD) – DC Comics continues to make great animated features about their characters to watch. This story is of the effects of WWII on the group of superheroes that consisted of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in the 50s where they face a new threat called the Centre! And they must resolve issues with other Americans to rise and fight a being that threatens to destroy the world. With the help of Martian Manhunter, the introduction of the Green Lantern and forming the Justice League of America they just might have a chance… Fun DC movie I give 3 ½ stars too.

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com  

Gross Movie Reviews #273

By Tim Gross

Priest (DVD) – A different kind of vampire film set in the future where priest means something different than what we know. Everything is dark and bleak and every hour people bless themselves as it is God’s way. In the future, ‘priests’ are hand-picked by the holy ones to be trained in the vampire fighting ways to rid their culture of the vermin. Apparently these creatures started to feed on any human around until humans barricaded themselves in these holy cities and were protected by the ‘priests’ who all but wiped them out. Several years later the vermin have appeared again but this time with purpose and seem to be even more unstoppable than before. A pretty cool comic book style film with a great action star in Karl Urban playing the former ‘priest’ now head vamp, plus you can never go wrong with Brad Dourif being in the film. This isn’t any blockbuster of vampire film but a bloodsucking film that was overlooked at the theaters that need a second look? I give the film 2 ½ stars and Karl Urban deserves to be in “Expendables 3”!

Dead Souls (DVD/Chiller TV) – A dark and depressing film about a priest, deacon, whatever and his family where the man of God kills his family but couldn’t kill his newborn. Now, the newborn has just turned 18 years old and has received a letter about his family estate that he never knew about in Maine. Living a sheltered life the teenager sets out on his own to learn about his past he never knew… Bill Moseley has a small part but plays the deputy who found the newborn and the slain family members and 17 years later is considered a crazy drunk. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

American Horror House (DVD/SyFy Channel) – A waste of time so called horror film about a house that happens to be haunted by people who were killed there in the past and the landlord or the pseudo sorority mother is controlling it. Boring and borders on the line of just plain retarded! Hey SyFy, let’s stick to the CGI shark flicks… I give it a ½ star.

Junkyard Dog (DVD) – Supposedly based on true events, a serial killer who just happens to be a tow truck driver/wrecking yard owner picks up young women looking for help when their car breaks down. But he does this just once a month so he can savor the horror of the woman he kidnapped while he also savors the taste of last month’s victim.  But eyebrows are raised in the small town where the serial killer resides when a FBI agent arrives and also disappears. Somewhat slow moving film but it does have Brad Dourif as the small town sheriff. Plus if you enjoy serial killer films you’ll want to at least see this once? I give it 2 stars.

G.H.O.S.T. (DVD) – Maya is a very driven ghost hunter, she lives and breathes ghosts. But who is having financial issues and her show about paranormal investigators is being canceled. But Maya is convinced if they have one final scary ass show that fans will force the network to keep the show or to be talked about for quite a while. While Maya is being told she needs to find a new career she reads online about an opera house that has history and has been closed for many years. The opera house dates back to the civil war days and there have been many strange unexplained deaths in the southern opera house. The last twenty minutes of the film is bizarre and far from what is expected from this type of film. J.T. Roberts who wrote and directed the film shows he has a true understanding of ghost hunting and is even able to joke about it in the beginning of the film. But this understanding helps him shape a smart, dramatic, thriller of an independent film about ghost hunting and how Maya becomes consumed with the subject of ghosts. I personally am not a big fan of ghost hunting or some of the crappy independent ghost hunting films that have popped up in recent years but Mr. Roberts and crew have my respect for making a very entertaining and interesting film on something I usually don’t care much about. I give the great independent ghost hunting film 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.mutantville.com .

The Exorcist III (DVD) – Originally titled “Legion” but later became part three of the series stars George C. Scott as a detective who helped with catching the serial killer named “The Gemini Killer” 17 years ago. Its 1990, and suddenly a boy and a priest are murdered and looked exactly like the Gemini murders years ago. Soon after some investigating the detective becomes fixed on a man inside a padded cell of a hospital where his best friend just happened to be murdered and drained of his blood. This man has never left his cell and has been barely awake for 17 years until now. Without trying to give too much away I personally believe too many people were too critical of this film when it was first released and many refused to believe it was ever made. But I love the film and thought it was an excellent sequel and should have been made in 1977 when that shitty abomination called “The Heretic” was released. I would even go as far as saying it was slightly ahead of its time. But again rewatching this sequel it has held up well over the years and believe maybe the fan base of the original film wasn’t ready for something like this film in 1990? Horror fans who haven’t seen it, should… And those who bashed it then might want to go back and rethink their thoughts on the film as Exorcist fans in general have been abused with the Heretic and two different versions of The Beginning, so it cannot be as bad as you think? I give this much underrated flick 3 ½ stars.

Exorcismus (DVD) – A young girl who is starting to become a woman begins to have behavioral issues according to her parents but none of the family could anticipate what it could actually be. The young woman has seizers and when she awakes people close to her are hurt or killed. If she isn’t having seizers she is having these very bizarre and unexplainable visions of blood and her doing terrible things. The family turns to the uncle who is a priest who has recently had some trouble with his perish as a young girl died during an exorcism he was performing. Knowing the signs he immediately wants to help and videotape the events that happen. But as the girl’s mind is unraveling things become clear of how and why this is happening to her. The very cool Doug Bradley shows up for a cameo as another priest but this film doesn’t do much to separate itself from the glut of films of this ilk that have recently been released. I give the film 2 stars. Stick with Exorcist III.

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle, Cory, and I talking about horror and action flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com