Gross Movie Reviews #281

Gross Movie Reviews #281


By Tim Gross


Rise of the Guardians (Theater) – A near perfect animated kids film that brings the make-believe world to life in the sense of that as long as kids believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc., they will exist forever. But if the Boogeyman can prove to kids differently and kids quit believing these people exist then the world will fall into darkness and be ruled by fear. The wild card just happens to be a teenager named Jack Frost who has been around for 300 years and still wonders what his purpose is? The film is excellently written and the animation is quite wonderful. DreamWorks Entertainment has another flick that you will remember for many years! I give the flick 4 stars.

The Sleeping Car

The Sleeping Car (VHS) – David Naughton plays a man who recently divorced and heads back to school. So he needs a cheap place to live and rents out half of an old train car in this old lady’s backyard. The other half is rented by Kevin McCarthy’s character who believes in ghosts and The Mister (John Carl Buechler) who haunts the train car as later in the film he use to bring his victims to the train car. If that wasn’t enough names for this relatively unknown horror film from 1990 you get Jeff Conaway playing David’s teacher for school. The film is dated, but has its moments of fun blood and guts and honestly should have been called “Deadly Sleep Couch” as most the deaths take place on or near the couch. I give it 2 stars.


Parents (DVD) – To be honest I did not know much about this film until about two years ago and believe the film is so much creepier now than when it was made in 1989 starring Randy Quaid. It’s a very odd, weird film about a grade school kid who is afraid of his parents because he believes they are cooking people they may have killed? The film is strange to begin with but with events involving Randy Quaid in recent years the film takes on a whole new creep factor when Quaid’s character stares at the little boy during some awkward scenes. I give the flick 3 stars.


Scared to Death (VHS) – Another killer creature film from the legendary William Malone where this time it takes place on earth. A top secret experiment has gotten lose that may have been from using human DNA and is now brutally killing people around the city at random. Cool looking creature, low budget, this is a William Malone film all the way… The one thing missing is Klaus Kinski. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.


Alien Predators (VHS) – The film known in Spain as Mutant 2 where it was made also was actually a direct sequel to the 1984 film that starred Wings Hauser! The movie did what it could with its modest budget and a story about three college students who are on vacation in Spain and just happen to come across a small town that has been infected by an alien virus that was an experiment on a satellite that happens to fall to earth and first infect cows. It’s up to the college students to stop the infection from spreading throughout Spain then the world. I remember renting this movie for the mere reason this was the third movie I rented from a supermarket near me called ‘Golden Dawn’ where at the time my mom worked there. The other movies I rented… The Monster Squad and The Evil Dead! Two out of three wasn’t bad… I give the film 2 stars.


House Hunting (DVD) – Holy fucking Beastmaster folks! A film that stars Marc Singer and Art LaFleur as they take their families to an Open House where they can never leave until they die. The film does a nice job of building drama but the ending sucks the shit out a Centaur’s ass! I give it 1 ½ stars.


The Hills Run Red (DVD) – To simply put it: This is a great old fashion blood and guts slasher film to be proud of! A filmmaker obsessed with a filmmaker named Wilson Wyler Concannon who made a film in 1982 that was supposedly the sickest horror film never seen, only trailers for it was released. The young filmmaker so obsessed with the film tracks down Mr. Concannon’s daughter at a sleazy strip bar where while he is getting a lap dance from her he asks her about going on the trek with him to find the original location of the film and more about the killer in the film named ‘Babyface’. When the young filmmaker and friends get there he soon finds out how bad he really wants to experience the sickest horror film ever made that has never been seen. He is asked, “Was it worth it?” The movie is sick and disturbing in all the right places and has that 80s slasher feel but in a modern kinda way! If that wasn’t enough for you to watch it then how about the legendary William Sadler playing the filmmaker Wilson Wyler Concannon who just cements his legacy in the horror genre with this role. I give it 3 ½ stars.


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