Category Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #279

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Gross Movie Reviews #279

 

By Tim Gross

 

Creepy Classics (VHS) – A special of sorts that runs a little over 30 minutes and has Vincent Price hosting it and showing some older film clips from horror films from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Mr. Price goes on to explain what’s creepy, scary, and frightening. I believe it was released in 1988 and even has a trivia card inside the VHS copy. I don’t see it on DVD but has been uploaded on YouTube several times. I give it 3 stars.

 

Lake of Dracula (VHS) – A cool vampire film from Toho Productions that came out in 1971 that tackles a classic tale of a little girl that happens to stumble upon Dracula in a secluded house. Years later the girl, now an adult is faced with the same fear of Dracula as she begins having nightmares and people begin to show up drained of blood or disappearing. I really enjoyed this flick for the mere reason I was always under the impression Toho Productions just made Godzilla movies. The film is well worth tracking down if you enjoy foreign vampire films. I give it 3 stars.

Polonia brothers 2

 

 

 

Splatter Beach

Splatter Beach (DVD) – How can I simply put this…? Apparently the great Polonia Brothers set out to remake ‘Humanoids from the Deep’ starring Misty Mundae aka “Erin Brown” because she wants to be taken as a serious actress which is a whole other conversation it’s not worth wasting time on. The film is made cheap, bad effects, and with cheesy monster costumes but as usual The Polonia Brothers come through with making a very entertaining independent feature that also has several extras of the Polonia Brothers explaining several effects, writing, etc., for their other films. Which I have said in the past that independent filmmakers should find a few of the Polonia Brothers films on DVD and watch the extras before they set out to make their feature as I believe the Polonia Brothers are the most talented independent duo when it comes to having no budget and they always enjoyed the challenge of it. But if that wasn’t enough the DVD comes with a soundtrack starring the man, the myth, the independent legend Jon McBride! On the same soundtrack is the band that played on the beach in the film. But what’s so funny but awesome is when the band and the partiers are green screened onto the beach with Erin Brown and the college kid trying to save them from the creatures rising from the sea. I give this fun independent film 3 ½ stars have to thank the Polonia Brothers for being who they are!

 

The Tomb (VHS) – A hilarious low budget film from the legendary filmmaker Fred Olen Ray who knows how to make a low budget Indiana Jones flick on a $75,000 budget or less. Of course with it being the mid-80s it has all the usual suspects that show up in a Fred Olen Ray film for a cup of coffee or so. We have John Carradine, Michelle Bauer playing the evil vampire thing, Sybil Danning. The film is about a grave robber who steals an artifact from a tomb and sells it and now has the evil vampire woman (Michelle Bauer) controlling him in order to retrieve the artifact. This is the type of film you would show to someone who has never been exposed to Fred Olen Ray that pretty much shows it is not impossible to make awesome films in seven days. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Fade to Black (VHS) – A very creepy serial killer horror film of sorts where a mentally unstable adult works for a film company and spends all of his time watching old classic films and being harassed by his crippled aunt. She keeps screaming at him about he is killing himself slowly and needs to find a girlfriend but he snaps when it seems like his movie world is closing in on him and begins killing people like scenes from the classic films he watches constantly. The film stars Tim Thomerson as the detective baffled by the murders and there is a small role played by a very young looking Mickey Rourke. Even with the film being over 30 years old as you watch it you think in the back of your mind you know a couple film friends that could easily be capable of this? I give the film 4 stars.

 

Frat House Massacre (DVD) – An independent slasher film about fraternity boys who are looking for more than your usual frat parties, drunken sex, and drugs. So when new pledges come to the frat house they usually do not leave unless they are considered frat material and then the others are tortured, murdered, or even forced to commit suicide. One senior knowing where the brutal hazing is going refuses to be a part of it anymore and is killed by his fellow frat brothers. One problem is his spirit enters his younger brother who was in a coma and wakes. The younger brother then decides to go to college and pledge for the same frat to seek revenge on all the frat brothers. Surprised by its two hour running time but have a lot of cool gore effects to keep you interested as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Dead Genesis (DVD) – A horrible zombie flick about a writer/filmmaker who wants to go out in the field with a zombie hunting group called the “Deadheads” to film, interview, and document what they do on a daily basis of trying to make the world safe from zombies after an outback happened several months back. The filmmaker wants to make a documentary of the war on the dead as most believe the military isn’t doing enough to keep them safe. This movie was poop, I personally rather be playing Sega Genesis than try to watch this lazy piece of crap zombie flick. I give it 1 star.

 

The Amazing Spider-Man (DVD/remake) – I’m literally torn on how I should feel on this flick for the mere reason I believe Mr. Sam Raimi did such a great job on the original Spider-man flick a decade ago. This reboot, remake, whatever you would like to call it has Peter Parker crushing on Gwen Stacey and he must save New York from Dr. Connors also known as The Lizard. The film is entertaining looks great in some scenes and other scenes looks bad in others compared to the Raimi version. I think the biggest difference is new version of Spider-man relied more on computers so it could do things differently than the other three films did. But if you want my honest opinion I feel Mr. Raimi should have been left alone to film number four. Because instead of the film continuing Marvel’s greatness over DC live action superhero flicks I believe it takes a step back as this doesn’t excite me to see a sequel, where the X-men, Iron Man, and Avengers flicks have me wanting another sequel right now! But this is the new Hollywood these days, they have to reboot, remake or fix stuff that doesn’t need fixed. Again that is another conversation that can be debated until we die. If you love the movie, more power to you, which is cool with me I just believe Raimi got it right the first time around? I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

The Feeding (DVD) – A lame excuse for a werewolf film where a werewolf is terrorizing a mountain side and is being tracked by a game commission officer the past three years. You know it is going to be bad when the werewolf shows up and the film goes completely grainy or cloudy every time to hide the crappy ass wolf costume. This is a prime excuse of why my partner Kyle Poling on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast believes there are only shitty werewolf films? I give the film 0 stars.

 

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com

Repost for a good filmmaker friend David Dietz

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indemnity

Indemnity (DVD) – David Dietz stars, writes, and directs this 50 minute film about a man who comes into a bar and is somewhat sadden and depressed and begins to tell his story to the bartender about a woman. The woman is played by actress Crystal Ann Jones aka Crystal Ann Aura where she is trying to track down the man in the bar for personal reasons. You soon find out she is a vampire but wonder why she would want this depressing man in the bar. An enjoyable first outing by David Dietz but the film suffers from too many dialogue scenes that could be edited down a few minutes and having different music throughout gives the film a whole different and more entertaining type of feel. I give the film 2 stars but something tells me this is just the beginning for filmmaker David Dietz.

Fetish Dolls Die Laughing

Fetish Dolls Die Laughing (DVD) – The latest project from “Kiss of Death Productions” that was a couple of years in the making. Two detectives are at a dead end with a serial killer called, ‘Maid of Honor Killer’ until the female lead detective stumbles upon the murderer one night following a lead from a business card. But where one impossible serial killer case is solved another is happening and has a connection as women are being found dead from strange cases of heart failure. They are being found all over the city and the detectives again are at a dead end until they come face to face with a man known as the “Tickle Monster” (I’m not making this shit up) and don’t know it until it might be too late for both detectives. David Silvio pushes the boundary of taste with his film that some would say is only about foot fetish. But I believe David and his crew believes in trying to push buttons and go in different directions with each of their low budget film projects whether the mainstream masses enjoy it or not? And they always do one hell of a job doing it. If you enjoyed the guilty pleasure “Meat for Satan’s Icebox” you will be more than thrilled with “Kiss of Death Productions” latest film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

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Meat for Satan’s Ice Box (DVD) – Troma releases this Pittsburgh low-budget release on the same disc with “Wiseguys vs. Zombies”. “Meat for Satan’s Ice Box” stars Diana Silvio, the very cute Crystal Aura, and Daniel Baxter. The movie has way too much going to totally explain what exactly is going on. The movie has a troubled girl (Crystal Aura as Cindy) being kidnapped and fucked with by people from a diner called ‘Satan’s Icebox’ in a town called Satan’s Place, go figure! The movie is lots of fun to watch and the only bad thing is there is way too much going on in the film for the average viewer to grasp onto. As Joe Bob would say, “Here’s the totals : Catfight Fu, Bad Stripper Fu, Bad Music, Gut Chomping Fu, Nuns Spanking Fu, Torture Fu, the creepiest scene ever with Lloyd Kaufmann,  lots of Diana Silvio, a very confused character played by the hottie Crystal Aura, 4 buckets of blood, 4 breasts, I give it 3 stars. A must rent!

Gross Movie Reviews #278

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Gross Movie Reviews #278

 

By Tim Gross

 6 Bullets

6 Bullets (DVD) – Gotta love Jean-Claude Van Damme is back making movies… very cool fucking action movies! JCVD plays an ex-military turned mercenary who owns a butcher shop and is usually hired to rescue family members from slave traders. But his last mission ends badly when he was hired and saved a little boy, in the aftermath two young girls were killed by their captors. JCVD swears off helping people and just wants to run his butcher shop but recently a high profile MMA fighter comes to town and his 14 year old daughter is kidnapped and with the help of JCVD’s son at the US embassy they ask JCVD for help but he refuses at first. After soaking his brain with Vodka and being screamed at by his son he decides to take the job but it apparently ends badly when a young girl is found burned and mutilated in a tub of a house. But a certain detail makes JCVD still try to get the daughter back as he believes she is still alive. Great follow-up flick for JCVD after Universal Soldier: DOR and Expendables 2. Van Damme is doing a great job of declaring he is back and plans on being in some of the best action flicks we have seen in years? I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Amateur Monster Movie (DVD) – A fun zombie film from independent filmmaker Kyle Richards about strange deaths of boy scouts on Cadaver Island by the hands of a werewolf. But of course one the scout’s friends Walter Romero, is not happy with the explanation he was given and wants to investigate. But Walter’s biggest challenge isn’t getting to the island as much as fighting off zombies that are attacking his small town. But Walter and his new stoner friend plan on getting the local high school hottie Ashley high so they can take her dad’s boat to the island! It was obvious Kyle didn’t set out to add something new to the zombie genre but to make his mark on an oversaturated zombie genre and a mark he made with his hilarious dialogue, fun gore effects, and Boy Scout humor! I also really enjoyed the soundtrack as it makes the film have a late 70s feel to the film… Kyle once again proves why I always enjoy getting the chance to check out screeners from unknown filmmakers. Mr. Richards shows he has talent, passion, and I could see a long career for him in horror film? I give the flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be purchased at http://www.spadeheartclub.com/ .

 

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (DVD-R) – I was finally able to get my hands on a copy of this film that still hasn’t seen a legit DVD or theater release. Why? God only knows why, I’m sure it has something to do with politics or just the plain fact most if not all studios do not have a clue of how to support such a film that isn’t called, “Quarantine” or “Paranormal Activity”? The film is edited quite perfectly as the film is put out there as a film documenting the events and actions of a serial killer who changed a lot of the rules of being a serial killer and confused the FBI for years. But how the FBI knows this is they finally find the house the killer was dwelling only to come up empty but find hundreds of VHS tapes documenting everything the killer has done since he began several years before. If you take anything from the film the filmmakers did an awesome job of constructing this film to make it interesting and enjoyable. I really wish films like this would have an easier time of getting out there and having a chance of making money? I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Outpost (DVD) – A Nazi-zombie flick from the UK about a physicist traveling with a small group of mercenaries to an old compound in the middle of nowhere. But this military compound was a place thought to be long forgotten and unoccupied. But at one time at the end of WWII Nazis were experimenting with several things to make super soldiers. And the formula just happens to deal with electro-magnetic fields. Also the mercenaries find an old man unresponsive until he is shot in the head and takes one the men with him as he disappears. Apparently the machine that was used in the experimental project actually made super soldiers but with it malfunctioning they only are able to survive near the compound. But if anyone enters the compound the undead Nazis come to kill with a purpose. You can’t beat watching supernatural Nazis from the past still killing! I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Outpost 2: Black Sun (DVD) – The UK Nazi-zombie film Outpost produces a sequel that picks up minutes after the original with a second military team making its approach to the Nazi compound only to also be attacked and killed by the undead. But now that the experimental Nazi-zombies are aware they have decided it’s time to back to business of killing everyone who opposes the Nazis and taking over the world! The electro-magnetic cloud that was only over the compound now has spread 30 miles and has the UK army ready to drop the atom bomb on the place unless a team of personal can get in there and shut down the field in a certain time frame. Outpost 2 continues the fun and interesting storyline of the first film. Outpost 1 and 2 are well worth tracking down and buying or renting the copies. I give the sequel 3 ½ stars.

 

Saint (DVD) – The Dutch film is also known as “Sint” overseas but pronounced “Saint” here in the US. But in the spirit of the killer Santa Claus movies this Dutch film has St. Nickolas killing people on December 5th and a full moon during the holiday in Amsterdam. Of course no one believes the one cop who has been tracking St. Nickolas for years and path of killing and warns anyone who will listen until he is suspended from the police department. Some believe and some don’t but the undead St. Nickolas doesn’t disappoint in killing everyone in gory fashion and especially when he has help from his sidekicks ‘Black Peters’! This film is ridiculously awesome and has my respect as another great Santa Claus killer film! Leave it to the Dutch to make a film that has possibly more gore than the original Silent Night Deadly Night. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

The Wednesday Children (DVD) – A 1973 independent film made by Professor Bob West, that predates ‘Children of the Corn’ which is the best way to summarize the flick. The sole surviving 16mm print was restored and put on DVD by upcoming talented filmmaker Jorge Delarosa of Slow Mutants Productions. I love the storyline of a kid who is not happy with his parents and is approached by a man who works for the local church reverend and offers him a deal. The deal is to basically rid the world of adults so children can be happy. The film is a little slow and takes a while to get interesting but that was the way most 70s flicks was made. They were driven by more story and dialogue than scenes of straight gore or blood that we got use to in the 80s. Professor West should be proud of what he made in 1973 and I’m glad Mr. Jorge Delarosa brought it to my attention this film being restored and available for purchase at www.slowmutants.com . I give the 70s flick 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Reel Evil (DVD) – Well Full Moon Pictures recently decided to take a chance with their latest release that just happens to fall in the popular ‘found footage’ genre. The film is about three filmmakers taking a job on low budget film being filmed in an old closed asylum where they would be filming the extras or behind the scenes stuff for the DVD release. But once the three are pretty much run off after a scuffle with the lead actress they decide to tour the lower levels of the asylum to find much more than they were ever ready for. The three decide knowing weird shit is going they still set up cameras in hallways and certain rooms hoping to catch possible ghosts? Soon not only the three filmmakers die in horrible ways but along the way so does most of the cast, director, producer of the small budget horror film as the film ends with the police finding dead bodies and the cameras. This is pretty much a well-produced film that horror fans are not going to find a middle ground on. You will either like it if you have been a fan of these types of films in the past or hate it like the rest before it. I was just glad to see Full Moon do something outside of killer dolls genre. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Gangrene: The Dink Documentary (Blu-ray) – If you were any type of Punk or Alternative music fan in the 90s you most likely came across the band Dink in one form or another. Well, here is a very cool Behind the Music-type documentary of how close they were to making it big and it just never happens for so many reasons. Filmmaker Jorge Delarosa takes a very in-depth look into the history with Dink band members except the lead singer of how they got started in Kent, Ohio and how it all eventually went to shit. Mr. Delarosa does a wonderful job with the documentary of making you aware of the band Dink whether you are the biggest fan or have never heard of them before as he gets stories from band members of the popular music fests they played on and the night it all ended that concluded with a local radio host destroying them on live morning radio! The documentary is an interesting and exciting look inside the world of the band “Dink”! And Mr. Delarosa proves his versatility in the filmmaking world with this documentary as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. The film is available at www.slowmutants.com .

John Dies at the end

John Dies at the End (DVD) – So Mr. Don Coscarelli it’s been awhile since we heard from you, what do you have in store for us horror fans? Apparently, everything fun from Donnie Darko, Memento, Fight Club, and even Phantasm 4 and put it into a very crazy and over the top film that will not make sense to most but will have you enjoying every second of it all the way. We are taken onto a journey by this young man named Dave who tells the story of his best friend John who goes to this party with a guy who offers what is called ‘soy sauce’ in a syringe to a journalist (Paul Giamatti). John takes it and crosses dimensions and keeps calling Dave from the possible future? After a call 3 in the morning Dave while driving to John’s place has John pop into his Ford Bronco in a dead like state. Dave tries to figure out what happened to John until he pricks himself with a syringe he found on John and begins to see things like nothing ever before. Soon Dave finds himself with John acting as spiritual exorcists as described at one point in the film. There are things from other worlds trying to enter ours and John and Dave just happen to be the answer to keeping them in their own worlds. The film is a mind-blowing adventure and another great classic of Don Coscarelli’s career that does not disappoint. I give this mind blowing flick 4 stars and possibly already the best film of 2013! Thank you Don… Now, let’s get Phantasm 5 moving?

 

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com

Gross Movie Reviews #277

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Gross Movie Reviews #277

 

By Tim Gross

 Dead-Season-Cover

Dead Season (DVD) – My brother told me to stay away from this zombie movie. Hell, I remember him just being happy he seen a horror movie I didn’t yet? Which of course I had to correct this issue and go watch it no matter how bad he claimed it was. It’s your typical recent zombie film that makes you feel you may have had more fun passing that bowel movement that made you sit ten minutes longer than you should have. Now it wasn’t completely horrible but its storyline of a man who is trying to survive the zombie plague, finds a friend and decide they want to take a boat to a remote island to live out their lives isn’t exactly exciting these days… This is the type of zombie film that is more of time filler for horror fans until a zombie film of real interest comes along… I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Steve Niles’ Remains (Blu-Ray) – So I was tired of seeing it advertised so I rented it to review it. Yes, there are still weird fuckers like myself who go rent shit. But anyhow, being a huge fan of the film and comics of 30 Days of Night this film interest me. Well, my interest died with the lame ending of the film. The film has a few moments in this film about a couple survivors in a Reno casino after a nuclear disaster. Some of the zombie effects were cool and at least took away from the lame angle of Miko (Pet Semetery) Hughes playing a gay man who is concern for his boyfriend at a nearby command post as this page of script seem to be a lame attempt at filling a 90 minute movie. Because at no point in the film other than the mere one line mention of the “command post is gone” by a random military officer is this part of the script relevant to the film? Maybe it’s just me but I was kinda expecting more but was let down as I give it 2 stars.

 

Area 407 (DVD) – Finally found a ‘found footage’ film that made me sick from watching it and sick from attempting to watch a shitty film about a plane going down in the middle of a US military experiment where you see the creature for about 10 seconds. I give the film 1 star.

 

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai (DVD) – Nothing I can say helps explain this terrific 80s sci-fi film that stars Peter Weller as the title character who is a surgeon/scientist/musician/crime fighter/ladies’ man/yoga master… Buckaroo breaks through to the 8th dimension during an experiment and this causes an alien race to want to destroy the world if Buckaroo doesn’t capture the alien that has been exiled to earth. The film has a lot of in-jokes of the 80s and is a perfect example of studios taking chances in the 80s to make memorable films such as this flick. Which these days, studios may take a chance like this once every two or three years if we are lucky if not at all because everything has to be a 100 million dollar budget and must make four times that to be successful. I give the film 4 stars.

 

Maximum Conviction (DVD) – You would think a team-up film starring Stone Cold Steve Austin and Steven Seagal should be cinema gold but this flick is more awkwardness than anything as its one location for 90 minutes means all the money was spent on the two stars of the film and to be sure the legendary Seagal was fed! I have to give this very disappointing action film 2 stars.

 

The Muppets (DVD) – Go ahead laugh… Without Kermit the frog and others there is a lot of cool stuff that doesn’t get out there, plus what other show has Alice Cooper, Mark Hamill, and lots of other cool people interact with puppets. And has several memorable films from our childhoods? But what makes this flick good is it embodies what was fun and cool with the show and the early movies they had as two brothers set out to help the Muppets save their theater that is now about to go to a wealthy oil dude when a contract that Kermit signed years ago is about to expire. I give the film 4 stars and thank you to Disney for at least not fucking up one movie related thing I enjoy. Remember without the Muppets we can’t have a cool peter Jackson film called, ‘Meet the Feebles’.

 

The Dark Knight Rises (DVD) – Christopher Nolan ends his trilogy with Bruce Wayne being a battered old rich man that is more of a hermit than the Batman/Bruce Wayne we all knew. After Harvey dent’s death Bruce Wayne decided Gotham doesn’t need him anymore. Several years have passed and Gotham has a new enemy… itself as an evil man named “Bane” has come to Gotham for one reason and that is to destroy it. Nolan keeps the newer Batman cool, dark, and a broken back, but also passes the torch to Robin for possible future films. It was entertaining and I enjoyed it, but it was no Avengers as I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com

Gross Movie Reviews #276

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Gross Movie Reviews #276

 

By Tim Gross

 

Dungeons and Dragons: The Book of Vile and Darkness (SyFy Channel/DVD) – SyFy Channel seems hell bent on keeping this non-exciting series alive. Honestly the films that have come before have had a few minor moments, but really besides me and Ed (bloodtypeonline.com) Demko’s dad is anybody really noticing these films being released. From the start it has been a somewhat of a misstep. But in my opinion with the recent sequels that seem to have nothing to do with the one before and a much lesser budget the films seem to be better? More interesting? I know it’s crazy and all… But if you are a fan of the role playing game and Magic: The Gathering it seems these films on lesser budgets are actually putting together films that weird nerds such as me can enjoy and not feel bad when we do watch them. But whatever folks if you like fantasy stuff you need to start checking this latest flick for the mere reason there is a cool looking demon child that has to suck on your finger for blood if you wanna pass or gain knowledge! I have to give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Dragonwasps (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Parker Lewis aka Corin Nemac apparently can lose since he has started his recent assault on becoming the new SyFy Channel Saturday night star of 2012. This time around Mr. Nemac plays a military officer who enjoys the jungle and has just got his papers to go back home but first must help a ugly woman find her scientist dad who just happen to be experimenting with killer wasps! Killer wasps that just happen to spit fire from their ass (Ass-blasters from the Tremors series anyone, we are talking SyFy Channel here) and can pick up humans for their nest. The movie of course isn’t all the impressive but made me happy to watch when the baby ass firing wasps are born by exploding through live humans faces. Very fucking cool! If it helps you to watch it Mr. Nemac does happen to kill himself, giant wasps, and a cannibal voodoo terrorist… I give it 2 stars.

 

Silent Night (Remake/DVD) – I honestly never thought I would see this film being remade. But it finally happened. I guess enough time has passed or as usual Hollywood has run out of ideas for horror flicks but because of the subject matter I just believed this remake would never happen. Now, don’t get me wrong the original Silent Night, Deadly Night is one of my all-time favorite films, ask anyone. I love this flick. But horror fans I am here to tell you I enjoyed the remake… Yes, I said it. But it’s not as good as the original but this remake in the same vein as My Bloody Valentine the filmmaker had knowledge and respects the first film we all know and love. Example: a hot blonde gets impaled on deer antlers by Santa Claus’s hands just like Linnea Quigley’s famous death scene in 1984. But the filmmaker also went out to make the film their own, example: a bitch of a teenager by today’s standards is killed by a cattle prod from the evil Santa. The film plays out like an old school 80s slasher flick and to help this along Malcolm McDowell hams it up as the small town sheriff looking for the killer Santa who also just happens to have a flame thrower. But the biggest difference with this remake is we don’t know who really is the killer Santa and why he is destroying all the naughty folks until the end and then it’s based on an urban legend inside the film. Its bloody, it’s fun, someone dies by a woodchipper, I’m all in as I will patiently wait for a sequel that has his brother ready to go “Garbage Day” on people. I give the remake 3 stars.

 

12 Disasters of Christmas (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Gotta enjoy SyFy Channel for the mere fact of trying to tie in the holiday and the supposedly end of the world. The film is bad but a fun bad as the world may end in this small Idaho town when the 12 days of Christmas is linked to 12 disasters that will end everything unless this 18 year old girl can stop it. Hate the relatives, then grab a six pack or two and put this flick on to clear the room and give you the miracle of peace. I give the flick 2 stars.

18-Fingers-DVD-cover

18 Fingers of Death! (DVD) – After watching this flick James Lew now has all my respect in the world like John Saxon. Action film star James Lew writes, directs, produces, acts, and is the stunt coordinator for this film about a B-movie star Buford Lee with an unknown wannabe filmmaker Ronald Mac makes a documentary about his life and tries to raise funds for his next flick. Pat Morita and Lorenzo Lamas join in on the fun of making fun of all the past action stars we all know and love in this comedy about action films. I almost pissed myself when I see Chuck Snorris and Steven Seafood. And how they portray Seagal as Mr. Seafood is dead on and will make fans like myself laugh about it. Think The Onion Movie’s fake flick Cockpuncher. I give this laugh a minute funny take on action flicks 3 stars.

 

Excalibur (DVD) – With enjoying all the cool 80s fantasy flicks you would have thought I would have sat and watched this flick years ago, but that isn’t the case. Finally sat down and watched this very cool flick about King Arthur and the beginnings of the round table that will make your inner nerd grow an 8 inch boner when you see Merlin fucking up another sorcerer to help King Arthur! I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Total Recall (Remake/DVD) – I guess it was bound to happen Hollywood would remake a great Arnold flick since Conan was remade. But this time Collin Ferrell is in the lead role as the double agent who has no clue who he actually is but must help the resistance. The remake stays true to most of the original flick exception location is on earth instead of Mars and not as violent but sticks to the original flick more than I thought it would. The film is entertaining and has one my favorite leading ladies Kate Beckinsale but nothing beats Sharon Stone in her heyday kicking Arnold’s ass in the apartment and something from the film seems to be missing when there isn’t the legendary Michael Ironside playing the cool bad ass villain. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Prometheus (DVD) – Yes, being the big Aliens fan that I am I was told several times to stay away from this film but my curiosity got the best of me as good or bad I needed to see this film as I cannot get enough of the Alien films. But after watching the film I can understand why folks were telling me to stay away from the film as it left me with a shitload of questions and no answers and I possibly dislike the film as much as Alien vs. Predator… Wait; hold on maybe close to that because that is a whole other world of suck ass! But supposedly this flick comes before the original Alien film? Maybe? And it explains where humans are truly from… as its 2093 and a crew goes to LV-223 to explore the origins of human life but also find something else. The ending of the film also raises questions of the origin of the alien we all know and love that enjoys spitting acid and feasting on humans to make them chest bursters. I would love to say this film is a prime example why the ‘new’ Hollywood means revisiting old cool material and destroying it but all of us know that it will never stop. My only question is to Mr. Ridley Scott is why can’t we have a direct sequel that has the aliens, colonial marines, Newt, Hicks, and even Sigourney Weaver? And don’t tell me can’t do it, because Hollywood likes to forget everything and restart every five years so that means we can even get the Predators involved, but I know that’s crazy talk but making a prequel to one of the most famous sci-fi flicks ever made and not getting the timeline even right makes all the sense in the world? Even Mr. Charles Band knows what to give the fans when fucking up the timeline… I give the flick 1 star, just because I am a sucker for these flicks good, bad, or just plain fucking horribly disfigured UGLY!

 

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com

Gross Movie Reviews #275

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Gross Movie Reviews #275

 

By Tim Gross

 

Depression: The Movie (Theater/DVD) – Henrique Couto, one of the most talented independent filmmakers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting is back with this feature that introduces the audience to four  poor souls who seem to be doomed in life whether it is by their own doing or not. They all have horrible relationship problems: ex-girlfriends, enjoying being alone because it’s safe, blaming parents, you get the picture of this dark comedy very quickly. This film will make you laugh, it possibly will make you cry, and it will entertain you all. Possibly the best part of the film for me had to be the one character talking to a girl on her bed and as she is undressing because she is so attracted to him he tells the story of going to South Africa and finding a box that was supposed to take him to different heights of pleasure… a wink, wink to Hellraiser which just about made me piss my theater seat in laughter! Mr. Couto once again proves he is a proven talent in the film world that co called “in crowd” needs to take notice! I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and more info about the film can be found at www.depressionthemovie.com .

 

Eddie Presley (DVD/Theater) – A depressing yet inspiring story of an Elvis impersonator way down on his luck that gets another chance to do what he loves one more time? Eddie lives in a van and works as a security guard that doesn’t pay well to the point a girlfriend/waitress that works at a dive of a diner steals Eddie coffee. But as we see Eddie working he constantly is falling asleep or daydreaming about his past life of being a family man, working man, and also singing with his old group that he talks a lot about to his co-workers. Eddie with his second chance to show off his talents just about has a complete meltdown on stage as his favorite tape gets eaten and he goes into his life story that almost sends his audience running to the doors. Jeff Burr did a great job of telling an inspiring yet depressing fun story that pretty much has everybody and anybody Hollywood name wise make a cameo appearance in the film. After watching the film I am very surprised this film went unnoticed when it came out in the 90s and did not garner more attention award wise for “Best Story” or “Best Director”? Jeff Burr should be proud of this film… If you get anything out of the film it’s if you enjoy something you do, stick with it, follow your dreams. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

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This is Horror with Stephen King (DVD-R) – Oh back in 1988, 1989, somewhere around there MTV put on four or five one hour episodes onto their Saturday night schedule before Headbanger’s Ball. These episodes were of Stephen King talking horror films, his books, and random stories of death and mayhem. Plus, we got random clips of horror movies from the 80s that we all enjoy and show behind the scenes of flicks with Steve Johnson and KNB doing their effects. This show wasn’t your father’s Terror in the Aisles… It was a great show and from what I could recall it only played twice on MTV to never be seen again? But it has been pointed out by a few Gross Movie Reviews fans that there was at least one VHS tape put out there, but no official DVD release that myself or many horror fans know of? You can find parts of it on YouTube but if you come across this set of episodes, you must get it by any means possible if you are any type of horror movie fan. I give the show 4 stars.

A Chance in Hell

A Chance in Hell (DVD/Internet) – A perfectly shot independent film about Nazis in the 40s experimenting on humans and something goes wrong after a young bald girl is injected with something that changes her into an inhuman creature that begins to tear apart a couple Nazi officers deep inside their compound that is about to be raided by Americans. Once inside the Americans are also unprepared for the horrors that await them as they must not only kill the infected Nazis but their own troops also once they learn after being bitten they change into these horrific creatures. This film is just absolutely beautiful… The creatures, the gore, and enormous amounts of effects are some of the best I have seen in years. This 32 minute film needs to be made feature length and needs to be supported horror fans. I have to say this is in my top five independent films of 2012 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. Horror fans get off your asses and go to www.scotchworthy.com ! Did I also mention it has German subtitles to give that extra cool horror movie feel to it?

 

Sand Sharks (DVD) – Corin Nemac, Brooke Hogan, Gina Holden, and shitty looking CGI sharks that swim on land feasting on a concert at the beach during spring break. It’s horrible, yes it is. But I was entertained for 90 minutes as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Last Battleground (DVD) – A 2008 independent film from Sonny Fernandez and Down Twisted Studios about the world ending and the world lies in the hands of a couple horrible so-called hitmen and a few other dysfunctional characters. Mr. Fernandez’s no budget no problem attitude for the film makes it for an entertaining horror film about survivors fighting off blood thirsty creatures trying to rid the world of humans. The film has a certain first time out filmmaking charm to it that makes you get past the lack of budget and enjoy the film for what it is. I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found for sale at www.amazon.com . Down Twisted Studios and Mr. Fernandez can be found on Facebook.

 

The New Girls (DVD) – Sonny Fernandez is back with his second feature that tells the story of three women who happen to be vampires and have seen it all. They return to a familiar place of dwelling and the youngest vamp decides it’s time to stop all the senseless killing and believe she can find a man she can trust while the lead female vamp wants to wipe out the town as she and the other two vamps have done so many times before. Mr. Fernandez’s film is filled with paying homage to other cool vampire films and TV series but lack of budget, among several other little things hurt this film in the long run. Like most independent filmmakers who try to make a great vampire film, the odds are against you unlike a zombie film or monster film. You can have a great story, great actors, but it seems like horror fans get very picky if you don’t have the budget to pull off what you want? I like the filmmaker’s story but this is one of those instances that needing a budget helps a long way as I give the film 1 out 4 stars. The DVD is available at www.amazon.com and you can find Down Twisted Studios and Sonny Fernandez on Facebook.

 

The Complex (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Sonny Fernandez goes for the completely weird and odd direction in a film about tenants of an apartment complex that is held against their will and has no memory of who they were before but only numbers on their wrists. But if that wasn’t enough the tenants are terrorized from time to time by this black garbage bag-like creature named “The Keeper”.  But it only takes one to upset the balance as one man known as 109 isn’t satisfied with the answers he has been given and sets out to solve the mystery of the complex. The story is interesting and can be fun but the biggest problem I believe with the film is it shouldn’t be two hours as much as a 20 or 30 minute short film. The film suffers from not editing it down more than no budget or other factors independent filmmakers run into.  I give the film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and can be purchased on www.amazon.com . Also don’t forget you can Sonny and crew on Facebook.

 

Highway 91 (DVD) – A trio of survivors traveling a land that zombies have long taken over. The survivors not having answers of the origin of the outbreak nor care are just looking for a safe place to live their life. Along the their travels they come upon other survivors who are just trying to survive also and decide the route they are looking for is Highway 91 and it will lead them to a safe haven from zombies. If they can survive themselves and the zombies constant attacking they just might make it? Mr. Fernandez’s no budget no problem attitude continues in this 2011 independent zombie film that suffers a lot from bad zombie effects and a running time that rivals Romero’s zombie classic Dawn of the Dead. I always enjoy bad zombie flicks but having a lot of bad dialogue scenes, lack of editing, and wanting the lead characters to die of a quick death didn’t make me enjoy the epic running time of this flick. But if you are a zombie fan and want to see it for yourself you can purchase the film at www.amazon.com as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. Also you can support Sonny Fernandez and Down Twisted Studios through his Facebook pages.

 

Justice League: The New Frontier (DVD) – DC Comics continues to make great animated features about their characters to watch. This story is of the effects of WWII on the group of superheroes that consisted of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in the 50s where they face a new threat called the Centre! And they must resolve issues with other Americans to rise and fight a being that threatens to destroy the world. With the help of Martian Manhunter, the introduction of the Green Lantern and forming the Justice League of America they just might have a chance… Fun DC movie I give 3 ½ stars too.

 

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com  

 

Depression Comes to Dormont!

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Come one, come all, this should be an awesome event! Plus I have to take pictures of the event for the man, the myth, the legend himself Jeff “mother fucker made the best TCM sequel” Burr! See yinz there!

DepressionPosterweb

Depression Comes to Dormont!

Friday at 7:30pm

The Hollywood Theater in Dormont in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Join us on Friday, December 7th, as the Hollywood Theater in Dormont presents an evening of independent film and shameless schadenfreude!* First, it’s the Pittsburgh area premiere of Depression: The Movie, the offbeat new comedy from indie auteur Henrique Couto. Then, it’s a rare big-screen showing of director Jeff Burr’s cult favorite, Eddie Presley.

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Depression: The Movie tells the story of four hapless characters existing in a world that refuses to cut them any slack. Lenny is in love with just about ev

ery woman he’s met. Bruce’s father is destroying his life by doing nothing. Bill wants to figure out how to love again after his divorce. George wants to prove she isn’t a giant screwup by babysitting for her successful older sister. Watch as they wade through life’s disasters, struggling to get past their biggest obstacles: themselves. Pain, sadness, hilarity, personal growth, and fart jokes aplenty!

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Eddie Presley is a down-on-his-luck ex-Elvis impersonator. With his days of former glory performing in small to medium-sized clubs behind him, he’s stuck in a dead-end security job, barely making enough to live out of his van. But Eddie’s luck is about to change when he’s offered a comeback gig at a seedy Hollywood nightclub…until he has a breakdown on stage and gives the audience a powerful, improvised performance they’ll not soon forget. A bittersweet drama about life at the bottom of the entertainment food chain.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll laugh again…and you’ll do it all at the misfortune of others! Doors at 7:30, first feature at 8:00 PM, followed by a brief Q&A with director Henrique Couto. Second feature will start at 9:45 (or thereabouts). Only $10 for two great films!

*Schadenfreude (shä-dən-frȯi-də) noun: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. German, from Schaden (damage) + Freude (joy).

Gross Movie Reviews #274

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Gross Movie Reviews #274

 

By Tim Gross

 gut-movie-poster

Gut (VOD) – A story of two guys named Tom and Dan: Tom has a wife and a daughter and Dan is living the single life but they have been lifelong friends. Both are horror movie fans but Tom doesn’t pay too much attention anymore to movies unless its Pixar’s latest for the kids and seems to live a rather dull life. Dan’s annoyed by this and tries to get Tom just too even watch the latest flick he bought over the internet. Finally, Tom caves in and hangs out with Dan and they watch a film like no other they have seen before where it is safe to say it’s a possible snuff film. Dan not forthcoming where exactly he got it is being pushed by Tom to get rid of it. But it’s clear the film has affected both and begins to change their relationship that will of course come to a bloody end! To me ‘Gut’ has to be one of the best independent films of 2012 that I have seen and deserves a much wider release. The film is very professional and looks better than most low budget horror films that actually have the funds from Hollywood to be made. I really enjoyed the dramatic storyline, the subtle music, and the ending was pretty kick ass also. I have to give this flick 4 out of 4 stars along with Jason Hoover’s The Collective Volume 5 being the best independent horror films I have seen this year! Go find out more at www.gutmovie.com .

Chiller (DVD) – A five episode TV series from 1995 that was made in the UK. Most horror films and TV series made in the UK have my outright respect as they are usually very entertaining if not better than US stuff. But “Chiller” is the exception for me as it’s a bit more dramatic likes of ‘Masterpiece Theater’ you would find on PBS back in the 80s than something in the same vein as Tales From the Darkside or Monsters TV series. A couple episodes such as Prophecy and Number Six show promise but play out like most of the bad episodes of late 90s and early 2000s The Outer Limits. If you are more in to dramatic horror this might be the two-disc set for you? Either way I can only give it 1 ½ stars and it can be purchased at www.synapse-films.com .

The Lumberjack (DVD) – Here is a short film from independent filmmaker and writer Daniel D. Smith that understands chainsaws and gore are best friends. The film is about a typical hard working man who is working his ass off night and day and to his wife is neglecting his son and her sexual needs. One day the lumberjack decides to come home early only to find his son outside playing and his hot whore wife about mate like rabbits with a young out of work man who pays her attention. The lumberjack decides he has the chainsaw so why not? His young son witnesses the carnage only to keep it bottled up until one dark night and it comes back to haunt the lumberjack. I enjoyed the gory mess of the victims of the wife and young man but filmmaker Mr. Smith left too much footage of the gory artful mess to be admired as it loses its visceral sickness if that is such a phrase to help pad the time for the short film. But honestly that is a minor issue I have as I have to give any independent film 3 out of 4 stars that reminds me of the great Wings Hauser in the film The Carpenter! Go support Mr. Daniel D. Smith at www.poisontheapple.com .

Hallowed End (DVD) – Mr. Daniel D. Smith is at again with this independent project that has this group of teenagers on their way to a Halloween party only to be disrupted by their fat ass friend to be attacked by a ghoul-like thing in the woods before the party. Once at the party the fat ass friend or the 100 pound difference of me decides to begin chomping on the unsuspecting necks of semi-hot women causing zombie frenzy! Of course it isn’t the most original of storylines but the slow dancing zombies during the credits entertained me enough to understand Daniel D. Smith is one of many fresh independent filmmakers that will constantly be passionate about their work and learn with each new project. So I have to give it 2 out of 4 stars and you can go support Mr. Smith and friends at www.poisontheapple.com .

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They Live (Blu-Ray) – I could go into how fucking awesome this film is and how it actually applies to today’s society but that would be boring. But let’s talk picture quality here folks. They Live was apparently made for Blu-ray technology as it colors are brighter than they were on the theater screen back in 1988! Let me just say this being a Carpenter fan, when rewatching this new special edition of the film it was almost as amazing as watching Carpenter’s The Thing on DVD for the first because you see things that weren’t as apparent as they were before in its prior version. This is a film with layers… You could watch this film in its prior editions a couple of times and not see everything until now, for example like even “obey’ labels on the TVs throughout the film. The film has been a horror film favorite for many years but seeing the Blu-ray edition will just make the same fans wet their pants in excitement! If that wasn’t enough this edition also includes a commentary by Carpenter and Piper that only comes second to Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi’s commentary for Evil Dead 2 on the ‘Blood Red’ Laserdisc edition that was later rereleased on other DVDs. Man or woman doesn’t cream their pants with Roddy Piper talking about leaving WWF just to work with John Carpenter then the cast interviews will make you explode like a Tim Tebow virgin on prom night! For the love of all that is holy they have an interview with Meg Foster but also a man that deserves more respect from horror fans Keith David. Which may have been one of the most entertaining interviews for a DVD I have ever seen. If you are any type of John Carpenter fan thank Shout Factory and buy not one but two copies of this MUST HAVE Blu-ray. If you are a fan of the film or Carpenter and not own this go kill yourself now… I give it 4 ½ out of 4 stars, yep it’s that fucking good.

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com  

Gross Movie Reviews #273

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Gross Movie Reviews #273

 

By Tim Gross

 

Priest (DVD) – A different kind of vampire film set in the future where priest means something different than what we know. Everything is dark and bleak and every hour people bless themselves as it is God’s way. In the future, ‘priests’ are hand-picked by the holy ones to be trained in the vampire fighting ways to rid their culture of the vermin. Apparently these creatures started to feed on any human around until humans barricaded themselves in these holy cities and were protected by the ‘priests’ who all but wiped them out. Several years later the vermin have appeared again but this time with purpose and seem to be even more unstoppable than before. A pretty cool comic book style film with a great action star in Karl Urban playing the former ‘priest’ now head vamp, plus you can never go wrong with Brad Dourif being in the film. This isn’t any blockbuster of vampire film but a bloodsucking film that was overlooked at the theaters that need a second look? I give the film 2 ½ stars and Karl Urban deserves to be in “Expendables 3”!

Dead Souls (DVD/Chiller TV) – A dark and depressing film about a priest, deacon, whatever and his family where the man of God kills his family but couldn’t kill his newborn. Now, the newborn has just turned 18 years old and has received a letter about his family estate that he never knew about in Maine. Living a sheltered life the teenager sets out on his own to learn about his past he never knew… Bill Moseley has a small part but plays the deputy who found the newborn and the slain family members and 17 years later is considered a crazy drunk. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

American Horror House (DVD/SyFy Channel) – A waste of time so called horror film about a house that happens to be haunted by people who were killed there in the past and the landlord or the pseudo sorority mother is controlling it. Boring and borders on the line of just plain retarded! Hey SyFy, let’s stick to the CGI shark flicks… I give it a ½ star.

Junkyard Dog (DVD) – Supposedly based on true events, a serial killer who just happens to be a tow truck driver/wrecking yard owner picks up young women looking for help when their car breaks down. But he does this just once a month so he can savor the horror of the woman he kidnapped while he also savors the taste of last month’s victim.  But eyebrows are raised in the small town where the serial killer resides when a FBI agent arrives and also disappears. Somewhat slow moving film but it does have Brad Dourif as the small town sheriff. Plus if you enjoy serial killer films you’ll want to at least see this once? I give it 2 stars.

G.H.O.S.T. (DVD) – Maya is a very driven ghost hunter, she lives and breathes ghosts. But who is having financial issues and her show about paranormal investigators is being canceled. But Maya is convinced if they have one final scary ass show that fans will force the network to keep the show or to be talked about for quite a while. While Maya is being told she needs to find a new career she reads online about an opera house that has history and has been closed for many years. The opera house dates back to the civil war days and there have been many strange unexplained deaths in the southern opera house. The last twenty minutes of the film is bizarre and far from what is expected from this type of film. J.T. Roberts who wrote and directed the film shows he has a true understanding of ghost hunting and is even able to joke about it in the beginning of the film. But this understanding helps him shape a smart, dramatic, thriller of an independent film about ghost hunting and how Maya becomes consumed with the subject of ghosts. I personally am not a big fan of ghost hunting or some of the crappy independent ghost hunting films that have popped up in recent years but Mr. Roberts and crew have my respect for making a very entertaining and interesting film on something I usually don’t care much about. I give the great independent ghost hunting film 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.mutantville.com .

The Exorcist III (DVD) – Originally titled “Legion” but later became part three of the series stars George C. Scott as a detective who helped with catching the serial killer named “The Gemini Killer” 17 years ago. Its 1990, and suddenly a boy and a priest are murdered and looked exactly like the Gemini murders years ago. Soon after some investigating the detective becomes fixed on a man inside a padded cell of a hospital where his best friend just happened to be murdered and drained of his blood. This man has never left his cell and has been barely awake for 17 years until now. Without trying to give too much away I personally believe too many people were too critical of this film when it was first released and many refused to believe it was ever made. But I love the film and thought it was an excellent sequel and should have been made in 1977 when that shitty abomination called “The Heretic” was released. I would even go as far as saying it was slightly ahead of its time. But again rewatching this sequel it has held up well over the years and believe maybe the fan base of the original film wasn’t ready for something like this film in 1990? Horror fans who haven’t seen it, should… And those who bashed it then might want to go back and rethink their thoughts on the film as Exorcist fans in general have been abused with the Heretic and two different versions of The Beginning, so it cannot be as bad as you think? I give this much underrated flick 3 ½ stars.

Exorcismus (DVD) – A young girl who is starting to become a woman begins to have behavioral issues according to her parents but none of the family could anticipate what it could actually be. The young woman has seizers and when she awakes people close to her are hurt or killed. If she isn’t having seizers she is having these very bizarre and unexplainable visions of blood and her doing terrible things. The family turns to the uncle who is a priest who has recently had some trouble with his perish as a young girl died during an exorcism he was performing. Knowing the signs he immediately wants to help and videotape the events that happen. But as the girl’s mind is unraveling things become clear of how and why this is happening to her. The very cool Doug Bradley shows up for a cameo as another priest but this film doesn’t do much to separate itself from the glut of films of this ilk that have recently been released. I give the film 2 stars. Stick with Exorcist III.

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle, Cory, and I talking about horror and action flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com