Gross Movie Reviews #280
By Tim Gross
The Haunted Casino (DVD) – The film was originally released in 2007 under the name of Dead Man’s Hand but was rereleased as The Haunted Casino in 2010 with a lot of merchandise available from Full Moon’s website to help promote it. It was Charles Band’s comeback film of sorts as he seems to have taken a hiatus from directing films for a while like Lloyd Kaufmann and only executive produced several films. A college kid inherits an old casino on the outskirts of Reno, Nevada that had been closed for about 40 years from an uncle he did not know but heard stories about. The kid and his girlfriend have plans for fixing the place up until their dream is interrupted by ghosts of two mobsters played perfectly by Sid Haig and Michael Berryman looking two million dollars in silver. Slowly the kid’s friends are trapped into playing for their lives in the casino and having the house win every time. The film is one those killing time films you would watch if it is 5 pm on a Friday on SyFy Channel. But the film doesn’t make you wanna run out and watch the film over and over as it doesn’t have enough of Berryman and Haig. I give the flick 2 stars.
Rage (VHS) – A B-movie action flick from 1995 starring Gary Daniels as a second grade school teacher who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He ends up becoming a unwitting part of a government experiment that has to do with some kind of super soldier project that wasn’t having any great results with humans before Daniels character. Soon he breaks out and is on the run to get back to his family and wants to clear his name before some members of the government recapture him and silence him forever. It’s one big 90 minute stunt reel! I give it 2 ½ stars. And did I mentioned Mark Metcalf famously known for his appearances in the great comedy film Animal House and later the Twisted Sister videos makes a cameo appearance as the governor’s assistant governor.
Terror Hospital (VHS) – The 1978 horror film that finally got its release onto DVD under its other title Nurse Sherri is a horribly awesome horror flick about a nurse that becomes possessed after a doctor dies in the ER. Apparently the good doctor was a priest for some hokey religion that just happen to bring about a demon that becomes a green crayon cloud from the “Peanuts” comic strip and possesses Nurse Sherri! From there the nurse goes onto a murdering rampage. The flick is horrible, hilarious, and very dated, but that is the beauty of the film. I give it 2 ½ stars.
Django Unchained (Theater) – Never seeing the other films before this flick wasn’t sure of what to think about it. But the film is about a black slave named Django played by Jamie Foxx in 1858 who becomes a free man after a bounty hunter Dr. Schultz frees him. But Dr. Schultz soon understands he wants to become partners with Django because he sees something him besides Django being able to point out three brothers who have been violent criminals in the past. And the bounty hunter Schultz usually goes after the violent kind of criminals. Meanwhile, Django rides along with the hope of learning the bounty hunter craft and eventually freeing his wife. The film is entertaining and intriguing… and makes me want to see the films that were made before this. But have to give props to Quentin for the music as it paid homage to the spaghetti westerns of the past. I give the well-produced western 3 stars.
Tasmanian Devils (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Gotta enjoy SyFy Channel getting off on the right foot for 2013 with their first Saturday night premiere that is about blood thirsty demon dogs trying to eat Danica McKellar aka Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years. And yes her boobs are still awesome! But if that wasn’t enough to intrigue you enough to watch the flick how about Apolo Ohno being impaled while base-jumping five minutes in and his blood releases the demon dogs. Plus, on the surprising side the SyFy Channel film used a lot more practical effects for the kill scenes which were unusually gory for the channel but cool in my opinion. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.
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