Gross Movie Reviews #296
By Tim Gross
The Day (DVD) – It’s been a decade since something happened: war, plague, they don’t exactly go into detail. Now, food is scarce, things look like a wasteland, as the movie progresses you learn that some people have turned to cannibalism to survive in the new harsh world. These cannibals are a family of people who are not your average cannibals as they are branded to know not to attack or eat their own kind… unless they have too! They also set up houses in the country that can be used by survivors only to become death traps or what a bear trap would be. The film doesn’t get into much story as much as introduces you to a small group of people who find a farmhouse they believe can be shelter for them and they trip the trap only to know the cannibals are coming and they must fight for their lives. I like the film, I like the grayish look of the bleak world setting, but the only thing missing is a little more storyline to make it that much more interesting. But this is a lean and mean cannibal/fight to death kind of flick that doesn’t spend too much time on dialogue as much as people, getting fucked up! I give the film 3 stars.
Sharknado (DVD) – “NUFF SAID”! Not by a fucking long shot people. We all know Asylum Entertainment and SyFy Channel have come up with some crappy, off the wall, crazy, and so bad it’s awesome film ideas over the past several years. But this idea from its conception had horror movie fans and the mainstream media talking. A tornado of sharks hitting L.A. and it stars Tara Reid, Ian Ziering, and John Heard and made for a million dollars! BRILLANT! You already know it’s going to be bad, but how bad, and when does it become so bad you do your best imitation of Mystery Science Theater 3000? Asylum and SyFy have had some fun ideas but this film took the cake and hope this isn’t the peak of bad fun films. Because this film made mainstream and horror fans alike it doesn’t take 200 million dollar budget to entertain… I give it 4 stars for the brilliance it is and thank you Tara Reid not taking it serious as you had about five lines of dialogue. Remember folks you know you are in for a treat when a man is standing inside of a house full of bloody water and possibly sharks and says, “It must be that time of the month”.
Hands of the Ripper (Blu-ray/DVD combo) – Another Hammer film released by Synapse Films from 1971 and is a film about Jack the Ripper possessing his child. The child Anna is now all grown up and is discovered by a doctor who sits in on a séance that he believes is bullshit and discovers the ghost’s voice is Anna behind a curtain. A murder occurs shortly after the doctor leaves when Anna is sold to a man by her guardian. Doctor runs in only to find Anna’s guardian stuck to a doorway murdered and a man running out the door. The doctor becomes fascinated with Anna and wants to find out what may be in her past that she does not remember. But as the good doctor soon realizes wherever Anna is murder happens. By time the good doctor believes he has found the answer to help Anna it’s too late. A great Jack the Ripper film of sorts for fans of the mysterious serial killer. I was surprised also with it being a Hammer film having no Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee anywhere in it. The cool things about this package doesn’t end there as Synapse does not disappoint by packing it full of extras: A great featurette that talks about the film but the book of the same name and how they differ and also features some cool interviews with the actors of the film. But a great extra to check out is the Motion Still Gallery called, “The Evolution of Hammer Gore”. A must have for Hammer fans as I give the film and the package 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .
Street Trash (Blu-ray) – A few years ago Synapse brought the cult favorite to the DVD format with a great transfer of the film and we nerds rejoiced. Now, Synapse went that extra step for us nerds and ultra-Blu-ray nerds and made the ‘Special Meltdown Edition’ of ‘Street Trash’. So after you get to watch bums fight over a drink called, “Viper” that is being sold for a dollar at the local liquor store and see all who drink it turn into complete toxic goo. You can be bombarded by the amount of extras this Blu-ray carries: Not one but two commentaries, a feature length documentary about the making of the film, the 16mm short film that inspired the feature, some cool interviews, and deleted scenes. Which in my mind I like to call this ultra-violent and gooey film “the nerd edition” more than the “Special Meltdown Edition”? I give the film 3 stars but the package in general gets a perfect 4 out of 4 stars as you can go check it out at www.synapse-films.com .
Hitchcock (DVD) – A great film about legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock and his struggles with making and getting possibly the most famous horror film made of all time ‘Psycho’. The film picks up in 1959 where Mr. Hitchcock played by Anthony Hopkins wants to make something different. He is unsure at first but believes nothing is inspiring him anymore until he comes across a book called, ‘Psycho’ that is based on the famous killer Ed Gein that has inspired many films even to this day with many still not knowing that this was inspiration behind ‘Psycho’. When Hitchcock decides this will be his next film, all studios refuse to have anything to do with the film because of its subject matter. But Hitchcock decides to use his own money and the help of his wife to edit what becomes the first modern day slasher of sorts. The film goes into Hitchcock’s obsession with blondes and how Janet Leigh was casted but also shows how he struggles with his weight problem and marriage. True or not true there have always been a lot of stories that has this film being made and released in 1960 that truly shocked the world. To be honest Hitchcock was before my time but as a kid I got to watch some of the Alfred Hitchcock Presents TV show and got to watch Psycho and The Birds and just the man himself I have always found fascinated like the Universal Monsters, Dick Smith, and others that were big when my or our parents or grandparents got to witness when they were in their prime. Hitchcock is a small piece of cinema history but he is someone that horror fans should be happy to know existed because his passion kick open a door to horror films that hasn’t been shut since 1960 when Janet Leigh’s scream in the shower was heard. I give the film 4 stars.
America 3000 (DVD) – A very lost and mostly unknown film from 1986 that has been recently released by Shout Factory with three other sci-fi gems. ‘America 3000” is a film that takes place after the apocalypse or 900 years after “The Nuke”. It’s a complete wasteland and tribes of women rule what’s left of the ruined cities. These women use men as toys and slaves and they are not equal to women. Yeah, there are cavemen out in the middle of the wasteland but they don’t dare come near the main village. And to let you know ahead of time the film is narrated from time to time by an escapee of the women who also explains all the different language you hear throughout the film. When a couple men escape a village of women they decide to set up their own village at Camp Reagan where men can exist not being toys, slaves, etc. Soon a war is started between the two villages and it’s up to this legend the women tell stories about, “the president” to help work out their differences. The movie doesn’t move flawlessly but gets help from a random mutant Sasquatch that keeps running around using a siren and eventually carries a large Boombox that was busted out of prison by the men! I give it 2 ½ stars.
Resident Evil: Damnation (DVD) – The second animated CG film made based on the video games and having no connection to the tragically horrible live action PG-13 films. This film takes place in East Slav Republic where Leon Kennedy has been dropped in by the CIA but is told its time to abort after he was taken off vacation to be there. Soon Leon finds out the local government is using BOWs to fight the war against rebel fighters that live underground. The film has a lot of the mutated creatures including the ‘Lickers’ but no zombies as Leon must try to stop the creatures getting outside of the city. This film unlike the first CG animated film is directed totally to the video game crowd and Resident Evil fans. Better the live action crap that seems to get released on a two year cycle but doesn’t live up to the first CG animated film as I give this flick 2 stars.
Incest Death Squad 2 (DVD) – Filmmaker Cory J. Udler decided just one film could not contain great characters such as Amber and Jeb in their heaven wasn’t enough as Cory takes you on a road trip as the film takes place about a month after the events of the first film. Reporter Aaron and his lovely fiancée Andrea have moved in together and trying to live a normal life but like most people they both have dark secrets of their own. But the couple is in for a big surprise when Amber knowing she has Aaron’s seed inside of her convinces her brother Jeb they must visit Aaron to tell him the news he will be a father and give him another chance to come back to their heaven. Andrea doesn’t want any part of this happening and hires her cousin to kill the incest-filled god fearing couple. Things go from bad to worse when Andrea learns of her fiancée’s dark secret. Then Aaron has completely lost his mind and decides to meet Amber and Jeb at a remote location. The sequel doubles up on the incest, perverted and disturbing scenes, gore, and nudity in this fun independent horror film that is not for the faint of heart and I believe a scene in this film that involves Amber and her pregnancy that will piss off someone! I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.incestdeathsquad.com . And look for the alligator petting zoo commercial at the beginning of the film.
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