You need to fund this project!!!

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Justin and friends from The Barn are at it again preparing for the sequel and here is your chance to get in on the action!

Check out for details: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-barn-part-ii-80s-horror-feature-film-sequel?fbclid=IwAR25Z4rOBcMrbTkj4dwBnGPwJf9eMz5UInHJU0Kd5FS5U25KzJYZjVaOObw#/

 

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THERE IS NO SHELTER FROM THIS STORM!

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CLOWNADO has launched from acclaimed indie director Todd Sheets.

While Bonehill Road, Todd’s epic Werewolf film, continues on it’s Theatrical and Film Festival tour in advance of it’s Halloween 2018 release, he has started Pre-Production on his latest endeavor.   Bonehill Road was listed on over 13 BEST OF 2017 lists and so far has been an Official Selection at over 43 Film Festivals.  And now Director Todd Sheets turns his attention to CLOWNADO.

 

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover! Our goal with CLOWNADO is to make a damned good, scary and splatter-filled, nonstop roller coaster ride of a Horror movie. Shot in a “Neo-Noir” style… It’s something new, fresh, original and unique but also familiar. Using only Practical Special Makeup Effects and old school styled Visual Effects, CLOWNADO has the vibe of Classic Horror movies we love. So if you took some John Carpenter, a bit of Lucio Fulci, Evil Dead and Dead Alive, buckets of gore, Noir style and supernatural Clowns and you threw them into a swirling storm of insanity… this would be it! This is certainly no comedy!

 

CLOWNADO – A one of a kind thrill ride into the depths of depravity and gore!!! Believe it or not, it is a Horror Film Noir, with crazed killer Clowns on a rampage from Hell… out for revenge and only BLOOD can quench their savage desire for destruction!!!! Be ready for one twisted and scary adventure! – I’m working on the final draft of the Script and we’ll be posting updates as they happen.

 

So, while a title like Clownado could be either a really good party movie or a really bad cheesefest, we ask you to keep an open mind and give us a chance. One thing we promise is you will be ENTERTAINED by our film. We will pour our hearts and souls into it and it will be made with real passion. We will make sure it is a stylish movie, with some good scares, some creepy scenes and some outrageous SPLATTER!!!!! For sure there are elements of the film that go wildly over the top, but with a title like this…. we have a LOT to live up to! We appreciate your support for the film and we cannot wait to share our adventure with you while we create this crazy movie!

 

This time around, Todd and his company, Extreme Entertainment, decided to do TWO crowdfunding platforms.  “We started with GoFundMe,”  Sheets explains.  “But we had people write us who are fans of IndieGoGO and they really wanted to use that platform.  So we asked our friends and fans of these movies about it and they all liked the idea of us doing both!”  The IndieGoGo campaign is only up for 40 days, while the GoFundMe is going for 60.

 

https://www.gofundme.com/clownado

 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/clownado-horror

 

 

Todd Sheets

Extreme Entertainment – www.ZombieBloodbath.com

Dreamimg Purple Neon – www.DreamingPurpleNeon.com

House of Forbidden Secrets – www.HouseOfForbiddenSecrets.com
NIGHTWATCH – www.nightwatchradio.com
Jackalope Media

www.nightwatchradio.com
www.jackaloperadio.com
www.zombiebloodbath.com

A little less than six months to go till… GROSSFEST!

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Hello people, independent horror movie fans, vendors, authors, fellow geeks. Quite a few people have recently ask, “What is the goal of Grossfest?”

 

The goal of Grossfest isn’t just to have fun but to do a film festival, convention, whatever you wanna call it a little bit different. Grossfest is not here to compete with the local Steel City Con, Living Dead Festival, or even Horror Realm at The Hollywood Theater. Grossfest is an idea that yes, started off as a joke but was always an idea of something that I have always wanted to do. It’s an idea that has been rolling around in my head for many years. Hell, some of the people who got to see the Bastards of Horror film festival years ago at Horror Realm knew I always would like to do something like this. The point of this idea is to have an event once a year with help that will cater to independent filmmakers, independent actors, their films, independent authors, and celebrate them. Give them another platform to show off their work! Instead of the Indy people being only a small part of the event how about make them the biggest and best part of the event?

 

I want this event to not only be something I have always enjoyed for so many years about low budget and independent movies. But how about have an event where not only focuses on these cool talented people but introduce them to a crowd of film lovers and geeks that may not know them or only heard of them. Plus, have the filmmakers and so on meet each other filmmakers, gain new fans, etc. Also we all know conventions can be expensive believe me I have been there done that for years. The other part of the goal of Grossfest for me and the others behind it is we are not in it for the money, but to celebrate the independent genre. So that means keeping costs of tickets and vendor spaces low so we can do this every year at the same location! As I always said, “you never know when meeting these talented people and seeing their films when you might be introduced to the next Tom Savini or George Romero or KNB FX group?”

 

By some chance the event isn’t successful a really cool person, Tim Wilder (R.I.P.) said to me, “Order pizza and turn it into a party. All of our friends will be there anyway and there will be awesome movies!” And that I can never argue.

 

So if you are interested in being a vendor, contact us (grossfest@gmail.com) tables are only $50. Just a fan or wanna see what all the fuss is about tickets will be $10 at the door.  You are a filmmaker or producer that has a feature or a short film? We are taking those. Of course we already have our main lineup of films but we do have a segment where the best feature and short film sent to us will have a spot in the movie lineup but also win a “Grossfest” award! And again if successful my hope is to have another movie room to show off even more independent movies…

 

Guest list:

Todd Sheets

Brian Paulin

Thomas Berdinski

Jim Roberts

Eliza Jayne

Steve Rudzinski

Justin M. Seaman 

Zane Hershberger

 

Nick Charles

Terrence Main

 

All are welcome to the Grossfest event and if you have questions or want more details about the hotel go to www.grossfest.com or the Grossfest Facebook group page. Otherwise I will see yinz all in less than six months on July 28th, 2018 at The George Washington Hotel in Washington, Pa.

 

P.S. Thank you to the people who are taking a chance and standing behind this event and putting their time and money into it.

 

#grossfest2018 , #grossfest

 

Thank yinz,

Tim Gross

Welcome to Gross Movie Reviews’ Best of 2017 list!

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As usual a few people will be pissed, a few will be excited, and quite a bunch of yinz will be baffled still to this day what the hell I watch…

 

Gross Movie Reviews Top Ten Movie list of 2017


1) Don’t Kill It (On Demand) – Mike Mendez and Dolph Lundgren together for a supernatural horror film equals horror GOLD! Dolph Lundgren aka Mr. Woodley the Demon Hunter rolls into a small Mississippi town looking for a demon that have cause a triple homicide three times in one week. We learn the demon cannot be killed as if you kill the person it possesses you become possessed. So this mucks things up as Mr. Woodley must be able to capture the demon by committing suicide. Mr. Woodley comes from a family of demon hunters who have done this for years and he has been trying to figure out what he can do with this demon so no one can let it loose again. Woodley has trouble trying to explain to the small town folk that you just can’t going blasting it away which leads into an awesome bloodbath at “Town Hall” that will make horror fans drool! Congrats Mr. Mendez and Dolph your film will most likely make my best of 2017 movie list as I give this bad ass horror film 4 stars! It is like someone gave the TV show ‘Supernatural’ Grade A steroids and Dolph Lundgren.

2) Get Out (On Demand) – Well this flick lived up to its hype and don’t trust those rich white people! The film is written, directed, and produced by Jordan Peele who takes a simple concept and turns it into a great fucked up movie. And I love all the social awkwardness placed into the scenes. But the simple horror film is about Chris, a young black man going with his white girlfriend to her parents’ house to meet them. The parents a little off and try a little too hard to make Chris comfortable but are or seem to be normal rich white folks. But for Chris something always seems a little off or not right? One night Chris takes a walk outside to smoke and run into the girlfriend’s mom who hypnotizes Chris to stop smoking. It works but things still seem weird as Chris’s brother agrees also believing his brother is going to be a sex slave or some shit too these rich white people? From there the film gets a little weirder as Chris finds himself questioning all the white folk that come for the party and the things he sees… And if there is another thing you take away from the film: “Don’t trust rich skinny girls”, they are fucked up. A very simple but effective horror film that is clearly one of the best of 2017 as I give it 4 stars.

3a) Garden Party Massacre (DVD/Vimeo) – Filmmaker Gregory Blair gives us a film about a couple (Caleb and Addison) who are having a small gathering that the theme is ‘no cell phones’. The party is all about people interacting with each other. The socially awkward party begins when all the characters show up and begin eating until a psycho with a pick axe shows up and kills the annoying girl. Now Caleb and Addison and fellow guests must figure out how to escape the house and make a run for it as the psycho killer has them trapped. The killer wants blood, the guests are in a state of panic, and Mr. Blair throws a curve ball when the party guests learn it’s a prank gone wrong and much more happens. I would to say more but then I would just be giving away the movie. Blair and company make great use of the house and backyard but the story set up and the actors playing the characters are the gems of this movie. The actors should be proud of what they done because they were simply entertaining and made this typical horror movie into so much more! I was just happy to see a movie with a title like this made but for the horror flick to be this much fun was just icing or blood on top of the red velvet cake (watch the movie you’ll understand). Plain and simple the movie was fucking brilliant and may show up on my “Best of 2017 list” as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. Go to http://www.gardenpartymassacrefilm.com for more details.

3b) Pool Party Massacre (Blu-ray) – A low budget horror film made in the spirit of “Slumber Party Massacre”. And the 8-Bit intro was absolutely beautiful. From the start you can see filmmaker Drew Marvick is a fan of “Slumber Party Massacre” with all the nods. Especially when a few of the scenes at the beginning of the film where the killer stalks the young ladies getting ready for the pool party brings back memories of such a great film. But the meat of the film is a rich bitch wants to have a pool party with all her wannabe reality star girlfriends. Have some champagne, look hot, and hang by the pool. The cool idea of a pool party becomes “worst pool party ever” when a killer is stalking all the guests. The killer stalks them all one by one including killing a man with a drill while the guy is jerking off. This beautiful movie was a love letter to my 15 year old self with the gore, the unseen killer, the music, the nods to the early slasher films, the packaging from box art to tagline, and the commentary with mom is excellent! My only complaint of the film might be some of the dialogue scenes that got a little boring but then I do remember “It is a fucking movie called Pool Party Massacre”… I believe Drew and company did one hell of a job of making an entertaining and Slumber Party worthy horror flick that needs to be seen by all! Thank yinz and my god Rutger Hauer for making this film exist and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at http://www.poolpartymassacre.com .

4) Fist of Jesus (You Tube) – A Spanish short film about Jesus trying to help resurrect a woman’s son, only for him to become a zombie. Next thing you know we have Roman zombies, Cowboy zombies, all kinds of zombies. And Jesus must kick zombie ass and save his friend Judas. The film was influenced by Peter Jackson and a well worth of wasting 15 minutes of your time on You Tube. But while watching notice the production, the effects, all impressive in my opinion! Check out http://www.fistofjesus.com as I give it 4 out of 4 gory stars.

5)The Creep Behind the Camera (Blu-ray) – An amazing reenactment documentary about filmmaker Vic Savage aka A.J. Nelson aka Arthur White aka most likely had a few other names. Otherwise a film that documents the insanity behind the making of a bad movie of 1964’s “The Creeping Terror” before stuff like “Troll 2” and “Cursed” were even thought of. Vic gets the filmmaking bug and moves himself and his first wife out to Hollywood during the 50s to make “the biggest monster movie anyone has seen!” Never mind the bad movie as much as Vic Savage was a complete psycho, womanizer, drug addict, drunk, con man! True stories told by living cast members, his first wife, producer, etc. Vic Savage was such a complete maniac that his monster maker stole his own creation during filming because he wasn’t paid, change actresses, sets, hung out with Charles Manson (before we all knew who he was), god complex, threesomes, Vic was completely insane. So insane he disappears into the night leaving what was considered the finished product/film in the garage with no sound, slate, etc. This is stuff that could not be made up about a film that is one of the first two movies I can legitimately remember watching. This film started it all for me and to watch this and learn of this insanity just made me absolutely love this documentary! It is beautiful insanity that needs to be watch and rewatched to be believed! There is lots of cool extras on the Blu-ray: The Creeping Terror movie of course but my favorite extra “How to Build a Carpet Monster”. Once again, Synapse Films does not disappoint as I give this wonderful package 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

6) The Guardians (DVD) – A Russian version of ‘The Avengers’ that features a man that turns into a bear, has a machine gun and a woman on his back killing evil persons while running through Moscow! Yep, I am sold and do not need to say anymore but I will. After the Russians entered the war in 1940 scientists were doing secret genetic research. After several failed experiments over the years a scientist goes rogue and starts to use people to further his experiments. When the military tries to intervene the scientist gets caught in a chemical explosion and becomes a part of his own experiment only to disappear until now. During a high tech military exercise this monster reappears and takes control of all machines killing all involved and disappears. So the Russian military forms a team of superheroes Nick Fury style: Ler – a man who can move rocks and things and uses them as weapons or a suit. Khan – a guy who has swords and can move like the wind. Kseniya – who is able to regulate her body temperature? And my favorite because he looks like a character from the Sega game “Altered Beast” Arsus (I believe that is how it’s spelled) – is a man who turns into a thing with a bear head and when he is really pissed off turns into a giant grizzly bear! They must take down the former scientist Kuratov now evil monster mastermind who also made them into what they are. Kuratov wants to take over Moscow then the world and make more troops like him. His goal in accomplishing this is using an old Reagan satellite in space left over from the “Star Wars program”. First time around The Guardians is defeated quickly but they reset things and prepare differently to become a team and defeat this evil Kuratov before it’s too late. The movie is a brilliant comic book-style popcorn flick that fits right in with the Marvel and DC universes! I absolutely loved this exciting flick as I give it 4 stars. Come one for the love of Rutger Hauer you have a bear with a machine gun you know this is gonna make my “Best movies of 2017 list”.

7) Logan (Theater) – Damn this movie was really good! We are thrusted into the year 2029 where there is no more mutants (not fully explained but pay attention there are hints), Logan is a drunk and old and old Professor X is a babbling swearing idoit in Mexico. Wolverine just wants to make enough money to buy a boat for Professor X and himself and end it all. Calls it their only safe place left. But one night Logan is approached by a woman who wants to pay him for safe passage to a location in North Dakota for unknown reasons. After a second encounter he is introduced to a little girl named Laura, a mutant. Not wanting anything to do with this Logan takes the money knowing full well people will come looking and wanting to kill him and Professor X. But Laura aka X-23 is what Professor X has been ranting about and believes she is the answer, the hope they look for? Reluctantly as Logan knows he is dying he drives Professor X and the mutant Laura north to get them to Canada. But as Logan learns more about her he begins to feel for her as he knows she will have to face what he has always tried to run from? The film is by far the most violent of any X-men related films or Marvel (exception of Blade). The film is gritty, real, and just a bad ass superhero film that I know I have wanted (because of X-23) but fans of Wolverine for quite a while. This stand-alone movie proves violent comic book movies can be made and make a shitload of cash for the Hollywood execs! I won’t say it is the best flick of 2017 but don’t be surprised it shows up on my list at the end of the year as I give 4 stars.

8) Trespassers (DVD) – This fantastic short film is from Zane Hershberger (for the love of Rutger Hauer you know I am fucking that name up) and is a segment of a horror anthology called “10/31”. A couple is out at the local movie theater trying to enjoy a good scary movie but have picked a dud. So still looking for something to put a little fear in their lives on the best night of the year, Halloween they go for a drive out to a farm. This farm isn’t any farm it has a horrible history of a scarecrow popping mysteriously on the land and eventually Old Man Martin murdered his family and committed suicide. But what is about this creepy scarecrow that makes the local story so interesting this couple wants to know? Pretty creepy and well thought out Halloween short film reminds me of a cool little known horror flick from the late-80s called “Scarecrows” and for that I give 4 out of 4 stars.

9) The Void (DVD) – An extremely vague but interesting horror film that has some of the best movie creatures since ‘The Thing’? A man is picked up along a dark road and brought into a closing hospital by a small town police officer. Things only get stranger when the man does not wanna quit babbling and the police officer is attacked by a person in a white sheet outside. Once the doctor and nurses stop the bleeding on the officer more of these people in white sheets show up. Meanwhile another nurse goes nuts, rips her face off and stabs a patient in his eye killing him and that’s when it gets even weirder??? Two guys show up bitching about a massacre, a huge disgusting creature steals the state trooper and begins feeding on him, and apparently the good doctor of the hospital is the next Pinhead!? Fun and gruesomely entertaining film! My only drawback with the film is you must pay attention to pick up on some of the happenings because I would have liked a little more explanation. But this film is easily the new horror generation’s ‘Hellraiser’? I give this amazing creature filled film 3 ½ stars and most likely be somewhere on my “Best of 2017 movie list”.

10a) Bonehill Road (Vimeo) – Todd Mother F’N Sheets reaches into the depths of his mind and pulls out this latest project of an old school werewolf film. The film centers on a mother and daughter who are escaping an abusive relationship. On the road to grandpa’s house they meet a creepy dude at a rest stop (which I believe happens to all of us at least once) and believe they just narrowly missed hitting a bear? Shortly after the narrow miss a tire blows out and they hit a tree. The women take a few to get their senses and try to figure out what they should do but that so-called bear comes back to haunt them or I should say werewolf. On the run the ladies find a house but their luck is worse than they think when creepy dude from rest stop is the owner and has his own serial killer thing going on. These women have already been battle tested and know what is outside is worse than inside. Once the madman is dispatched in a rather gruesome manner its back to figuring out how to fight off these werewolves who are trying to break their way into the home. I absolutely enjoyed this werewolf flick. I would compare to Todd’s film to another werewolf flick “Wolfen” or “Bad Moon”. Mr. Sheets went for a more story driven werewolf flick and when it pays off it more than pays off with a scene in the kitchen. While a woman recently bitten transforms another not one but two werewolves shot in 100% light wander into the kitchen and it is a beautiful thing. Most independent werewolf films have to hide their monster. Hell most mainstream flicks do the same but Todd Sheets made sure you got the money shot and more with this scene. Todd absolutely delivered on a giving horror fans an entertaining treat of a werewolf film. And yes horror fans the film is a little slow but again the film is more story driven than gore driven but you will get your blood, guts, and cannibalism! A couple other cool tidbits to the film are the end credits scene with fake Gene Simmons again and they have a “stunt werewolf” thanks to Mr. Steele. Todd Mother F’N Sheets did again and I think fans will be pleased with his old school werewolf flick as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

10b) Knock Knock (On Demand) – No folks this isn’t that terrible Keanu Reeves movie we all lured into watching last year. This film is something much better! 2012 “Dorm of the Dead’s” Toby Canto makes his return back to the independent horror genre with this great gem. A story of misfits living in an apartment complex. An old boxer named “Stonefist” Sam is turning 60 today. Not the most pleasant person returns home to his weirdo neighbor Oliva hanging out in his apartment complaining about a vampire living across the hall. She can’t make her mind up if its Dracula or just a hot vampire living next door as she has been watching him worried he will kill her. As Sam tries to calm her down another weirdo neighbor Dragon busts in with his bag of goodies to kill the vampire and blurts out this great quote “Fucking Draculas Bro”! He also has stories of Dracula living next door including ripping his “Missing in Action” poster off of his front door. Once Gretchen stops by the scene is set as Oliva stole a package that was left for the vampire. As the four argue the vamp knocks on Sam’s door to nicely get the package but that goes horribly wrong when he was already invited to an apartment complex party. Sam doesn’t believe the neighbor is a vamp until the vamp tries to bring hell down on the four and Sam shows why he was nicknamed “Stonefist”. After they beaten the vamp down and tie him up they warn him to just be a good neighbor or leave? The credits role and we all find out the vamp has friends as a war takes place in the apartment. Smart production, hilarious script and characters, and the actors were down right fucking awesome and perfect for these parts! This flick had me laughing my balls off the whole time watching it. Toby I hope all of us horror fans get to see more projects from you as this is one of the best independent horror projects I have seen in 2017. I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out Pop Art Pictures Facebook page for more details on the film.

 

The notable movies that still deserve a mention

 

Hectic Knife (DVD) – Let’s be honest folks most of us are Troma fans and we know Troma pretty much has become a distributor of independent films. Hey Troma has to survive just like any other small movie company. 99% of the time the newer Troma stuff that is released is to make them money and keep them afloat and really doesn’t have anything to do with the Troma legacy? Well folks, I am to say ‘Hectic Knife’ is a different but Troma-like film that has come out of nowhere. The film is about a new knife-swinging superhero named ‘Hectic Knife’. He kills rapists, gangsters, junkies, but like the rest of us normal people he has to pay bills, needs a roommate, struggles with all the killing, and no girlfriend. But when ‘Hectic Knife’ comes into contact with a professional baddie named ‘The Piggly Doctor’ he must risk his own life to defeat this new baddie. Hilarious over-the-top violence, bad jokes, bagels, a hippie, and the vibe the film gives off while watching it is like the stuff of second generation Troma films. Let me explain: first generation is “Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘em High”, second generation is “Tromeo and Juliet and Sgt. Kabukiman”. It fits in with the 90s Troma stuff which is a good thing. The movie just has that Troma vibe that makes you wonder if Lloyd may have been on set. Troma should be more than happy adding this feature to this their library it’s one of the few flicks that understand what Troma is all about and for that I am thankful! I give this fun flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars and definitely one of the better films of 2017! Go get it now folks http://www.troma.com as there isn’t enough good things I can say about this independent flick.

 

Attack of the Killer Donuts (DVD) – To put it simply it is the new version of ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ and there isn’t anything wrong with that folks. Michelle and Johnny work at a donut shop called “Dandy Donuts”. Pretty much Michelle and Johnny are the only two employees who are willing to put up with the public and the shitty boss. Meanwhile Johnny’s Uncle Luther is a mad scientist who has developed a breakthrough serum that turns a mouse into a man-eating rat. Luther comes to Dandy Donuts looking for Johnny and accidentally gets some of the serum into the deep fryer… Presto, changeo! We got killer donuts! The little doughy bastards now have teeth and they are pissed humans have been eating them for years. So the donuts go on an eating spree whether it’s the lonely fat lady in lingerie or C. Thomas Howell as a police officer the donuts are eating through everyone. The only people that can stop these bastards is love sick friends Michelle and Johnny and Johnny’s best friend who is banging Johnny’s mom. So okay maybe it is ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ with ‘Gingerdead Man’ added into the mix but it’s one fucking hilarious horror movie that you will not want to miss in 2017! My only problem with the whole film is the ending that never ends as of course Michelle and Johnny end up together but the bedroom scene goes on way too long like its padding out running time or something? Outside of that I absolutely love this flick and the poster fucking rocks as I give this beautiful horror film 3 ½ stars. Still on the fence if this makes my “Best of 2017 list”?

 

Kill Show (YouTube) – A short film that features a young woman’s struggle with her perverted mind frame of being a clown. The film takes you into her mental breakdown and she gets off on hearing about her random killing spree that can only end in one way. She wants to be known/remembered, not forgotten. Todd Braley and crew do a wonderful job of making this an interesting and creepy short film that makes you want to know more about this young woman’s story. What adds to the feel of the flick is the way the film was shot as it felt like the crew might have been trying to give the viewer a unique disturbing view into her madness. Wonderful stuff from Mr. Braley and hope there is a lot more coming for film fans. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can rent it at http://www.reelhouse.org/infinitymediaprods/kill-show .

 

The Foreigner (DVD) – Possibly one of the most underrated flicks of 2017 I did not see coming. Jackie Chan is driving his daughter to a shop to pick up her dress. He has a slight car accident out front when a bomb goes off inside the dress shop killing his daughter and several others. From here you are expecting Jackie Chan to go all Jackie Chan but he doesn’t. Jackie just wants answers! Meanwhile Pierce Bronson is Irish dude who is in with the British government mainly to try and keep the peace between the Irish extremists lets say and the Brits? For most of the movie you are not totally sure if Pierce’s asshole charcter is behind the bombing or just trying distance himself from it as he was one of these extremists 30 years ago. But Jackie wants answers and everyday sits in this lobby waiting. When he doesn’t get the answers he wants and no one has been found that did the bombings Jackie begins to stalk Pierce’s character. And again you are expecting the wild acting, stunts, and so on but his character being 60 years old gives up his restaurant and starts a one man crusade of just fucking people up! Think “Taken” but if possible done in a better way? It can be debated whether this is a better version of “Taken” just for the mere reason Jackie Chan goes away from what he is known for and becomes possibly a bigger bad ass than he ever was with this hardcore action/drama flick. Kudos to Jackie Chan because I did not see such a flick coming this late in his career as I give it 3 1/2 stars.

 

Worst movie of 2017: Jeepers Creepers 3

Gross Movie Reviews #410

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Gross Movie Reviews #410

 

Don’t Fuck in the Woods (DVD) – The poster looked bad ass, the premise sounded awesome, the title was perfect, and… the movie totally disappointed me. With the title you knew what was going to happen but the film introduces a slimy ass Ghoulie-looking creature that kills people having sex in the woods. This intrigued the shit out of me but as the film went along it failed to impress me of why or what this creature was there to begin with??? So some college kids head to the woods to hang with friends (Meg and Luke) to fuck and get drunk but that gets pushed to the side when they become worried that they cannot find their friends. More fucking, more violence, more cool looking creature but why is the creature there in the woods. No backstory folks! Yes tits are awesome, gore is awesome, but you added a fucking cool element: the creature, to this slasher storyline and falls limp. I believe this film could have been so much more in the right hands low budget or not and for that I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Beware the Slenderman (DVD) – A HBO documentary about an internet urban legend that affected three young teen girls’ lives. And apparently this is a thing that people are freaking out over even though it all started several years ago from an online Photoshop contest. It intrigues me and also proves to me: a) I am old and b) this younger generation is completely stupid and iPhones will be the death of us? But let’s get away from the old man talk as this interesting documentary show how two normal white bread girls went down the internet wormhole known as “The Slenderman”. Not only has it documented all the events leading up to the two girls trying to kill a friend for the Slenderman but the after effects among families, other friends, and so on. But for me being old it has several experts explaining how this can happen these days whether it’s from distant or non-existent parents to iPhones and iPads are addictive to this new generation may have no brains in their head. What doesn’t help as shown in the documentary as we become more disconnected these stories of the Slenderman are gaining steam more than the old school boogeyman, ghosts, etc., because it caters to today’s disenchanted youth. I am fucking old just typing that statement! But it is a really good and interesting documentary  that makes you want to follow what happens next with these two girls as they go through the court system convicted as adults… I give this intriguing documentary 4 stars.

 

The Purge: Election Year (DVD) – 18 years has passed since the original “Purge” happened and now a woman president candidate is making waves as she wants “The Purge” to be abolished! Now of course the inner rich government doesn’t want this to happen and the god fearing folks change some rules this time around to make it legal for government officials to be killed. All she got to do is survive the night and good chance she will be president. Intentional or not you can watch this film two ways: One, someone was really trying to make references to the current presidency in Donald Trump? Or two, just another violent thriller installment in the series just trying to keep up with the possible current trend in horror? Either way I still enjoyed the second film the most as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Beaks the Movie (VHS) – The movie of many titles (Birds of Prey or Killer Birds) or I like to call it: the movie that starred the delicious Michelle Johnson in a film trying to beat the sequel of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” out for release. The film starts off great as we witness a hawk/eagle gouging out a dude’s eyeball out and going for his jugular on a hang glider. From there Michelle Johnson plays a reporter Vanessa Cartwright who is trying to get her big break. While covering a random bird attack she learns there have been several others. She heads to a small town in Spain where birds have attacked before years ago and on their way again to waste to the town for no reason at all. Outside of the bird attacks and the slow-mo scenes the film is pretty boring. But hey it was made in 1986 so I had to watch it at least once as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Underworld: Blood Wars (DVD) – Now that I have lost track of what is actually happening in these films about werewolves vs. vampires, Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene the Death Dealer. Apparently all monsters want her ass dead! Has no clue where her daughter is and now a werewolf with hybrid blood wants to find her daughter so he can become the master werewolf and wipe out all the vampires… Oh hold on Lycan, have to use the proper name. But anyhow Brother Noopsie aka Charles Dance shows up to help welcome Selene back into the vampire coven only for all to get fucked over again. Okay I got bored. Honestly people this series of films got lost in its own mythology after the first film. The first film is great and I still watch from time to time. But since they have felt like globs of shit thrown against the wall and it doesn’t help such films “30 Days of Night” and “Twilight” has been released since the story of Selene has unfolded. Sorry Kate you are a hot piece of ass but I am bored of the Death Dealer storyline as many other horror fans are also. If you are still into skin tight leather on Kate B, this is for you as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick: Chapter 2 (DVD) – So Keenau Reeves is back the man no one wants to see as you are about to be dead. The film picks up right after the events of the first event where he is looking for the Russian that took his car. And John Wick dismantles the whole crew just on principal of getting the car back. Once done someone cashes in a chip that is a debt asking for John Wick to do a favor. This favor is because John Wick was able to leave the hitman business. Now that John Wick has been forced into doing this task he is fucked over and had enough and is done with rules. Again wasn’t overly impressed with the action film but still enjoyed it enough I wanna actually see more of this underworld as I give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

 

Suicide Squad (DVD) – DC’s mess of a film where some of Batman’s villains are gathered to be a hit squad to take down the Enchantress. She has gotten back with her brother to build some machine and tear the world a part. The government also wants an option to counterattack Superman or someone like Superman who threatens them? The movie is a mess but still an entertaining mess as they didn’t ruin Harley Quinn as much as I feared. DC take your time and stop rushing these projects out and again take a cue from what yinz are doing with the DC projects on TV. My hope for this film is that we do get a Harley Quinn and Joker film in the future as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Bye Bye Man (DVD) – A paranormal film that takes a different route in telling a story as three college kids’ move into a house off campus. But the house has a history of where a man killed several people who may have been driven mad by a thing called “The Bye Bye Man”. The man researched this urban legend and was eventually driven mad because he started to believe and it was making him seeing things. Once moved in one of the kids read something written in an end table and strange things begin to happen to him and his two friends. He researches the words and finds out it is something called “The Bye Bye Man” that will continue to kill as long you say his name. It’s a little odd but worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Debt Collector (DVD) – A throwback mobster film made on a low budget about a debt collector Teddy Greene who believes doing things the old school way. He goes around collecting debts for his boss but when no one wants to pay Teddy is beating the shit out of hookers, pimps, and so on to get the money for his boss. But Mr. Stone is not happy with Greene’s tactics all through L.A. because people may no longer borrow money? Teddy growing more and more frustrated with life, ex-wife, and his boss goes to see an old friend for advice which he disregards until the latest debt collection is stolen. With all the independent horror movies that flood the internet and streaming sites it’s always nice to see a filmmaker take a stab at a different genre and do well with it. I really enjoyed this film for the mere fact that you really feel for the Teddy Greene character even when he makes a hooker suck his dick. Independent film fans will enjoy this quality flick as I give it 3 out 4 stars.

 

Tsunambee (DVD/Vimeo) – Been a while since I have watched a film that I want to unwatch but here it is. The film doesn’t know exactly what movie it wants to be (post-apocalyptic, killer bee, or just a Christian film hidden in a bad SyFy Channel copycat?) but of course fails on all levels. Apparently, giant killer bees are found and this sets off earthquakes and mass race riots in the streets of all the cities. A group of unlikely people set themselves up in a house on the countryside to try and figure out what is their next step but a lot talk faith gets in the way. The film goes from killer bees are attacking to people questioning faith. Unless the film is a bad sequel to “The Unholy” not many horror fans are going to pay attention to this garbage called a movie. Please stay away from this feature as I give 0 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Bonejangles (DVD/Vimeo) – A low budget film where two bumbling small town cops Doug and Randy just happen to help catch a supernatural serial killer named ‘Mr. Bonejangles’. Now with the capture the serial killer needs to be transferred to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. The cops will meet the sanitarium associates hallway in a small town of Argento where oh yeah just happens to be cursed by a witch. Every April 18th a witch’s curse makes zombies attack the town and kill all they can. The cops and Mr. Bonejangles arrive late into Argento and the chaos has begun. If that wasn’t enough Randy is originally left the town when his life was ruined by his high school bully who is seen as the small town hero. The only plan Randy can come up with is trying to lure Mr. Bonejangles into the witch’s lair to kill her to break the curse and hopefully kill the supernatural serial killer too. The structure of the film is fun, the characters are likable, there is lots of violence, Reggie Bannister shows up talking about having sex once, and most of all the film doesn’t take itself too serious which adds to how delighted I was with the end product. Wasn’t expecting much but glad this horror flick surprised me as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

31 (DVD) – Well Rob Zombie used Kickstarter to get his film made. Sorry dude you are worth many millions of dollars and no way you can tell me you couldn’t pitch this to Lionsgate and get it made? But this argument is for a different time as a group of individuals driving the long highway on Halloween 1976 are kidnapped by a group of people in old school prison outfits. They wake up only to know a couple of them were killed and now they are about to become part of a random 12 hour show to three rich people who bet on killers stalking them. Now the movie is nor good or bad to me as I felt like I have watched this film or some parts of it several times over the past two years? There have been several independent horror films that have told this story so maybe I was numb to the film concept? Outside of the “Halloween” films this Rob Zombie film may have underwhelmed me as I have wanted Rob Zombie to do a different horror project. Something out of his comfort zone that may not have similar characters to his other films? But hey he can do whatever he wants I just know this movie wasn’t good or bad it just exists but I will be waiting to hear what he does next as I give this feature 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Yes, I have too!

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“Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film”

Hello fellow horror and independent film fans! Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Motherfucking YES! Well here’s your chance…

Mr. Sheets is one of the best independent filmmakers over the past 25 years and he is looking for some help or funds for more werewolves. And of course we all need more motherfucking bad ass looking werewolves in movies! So jump on this and be a part of something really cool.

Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film

Todd Sheets – This is my DREAM PROJECT! My favorite movie monsters have always been WEREWOLVES!!! And I have been so disappointed that there seem to be no true, old school, American made werewolf movies coming out these days that capture the spirit of movies like The Howling, An American Werewolf In London or Dog Soldiers. I want to make fans of those movies proud!!! My goal is to make a classic monster movie for our time!!!

Bonehill Road is a werewolf film, using all PRACTICAL EFFECTS in a truly exciting story!!!!

CLICK THE LINK: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/bonehill-road-old-school-werewolf-film-horror#/

TODD MOTHERFUCKING SHEETS!!!

Other Ways You Can Help

Some people just can’t contribute, I understand financial harships, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help:

  • Make some noise about this film and this funding campaign.
  • Please feel free to use all the awesome Indiegogo share tools!
  • If you cannot give money but you do Special Makeup Effects, contribute your skills!!!
  • Are you an artist who has Werewolf parts laying around?  Donate them!!!!  We need several different types of Werewolves!!!  Have a werewolf head that you made?  We’d love to use it for the film!!!  Especially articulated heads with moving jaws and such!

Lets make some Monsters come to LIFE!!!!!

DRIVE-IN HORRORSHOW PRESENTS GHOULISH STORIES GIVEAWAY!

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October 20, 2016 – Boston, MA

exclusivebooks

Drive-In Horrorshow is proud to announce the Ghoulish Stories Giveaway, running from October 20th through 30th. The winner will be picked on Halloween!

Drive-In Horrorshow is currently releasing brand-new Ghoulish Short Stories! Each month, we publish a never-before-seen bloody tale from our archives, featuring killer pumpkins, hideous freaks, twisted slashers, and much more. They are free to read on Wattpad.

To celebrate our new tales, we’re running the Ghoulish Stories Giveaway! It’s free to enter, and three grand prize winners will receive a limited-edition book of six Ghoulish Short Stories! These will be printed exclusively for the contest, so the only way to win one is to enter.

Every entrant automatically gets a special prize: Ghoulish Story Trading Cards! Remember Fright Flicks horror trading cards from the 1980s? Our collectible Trading Cards were inspired by our favorite Fright Flicks that featured Freddy, Jason, and other horror icons. Each Ghoulish Story Trading Card features cover art uniquely created for each story by the great artists at our Drive-In Horrorshow Team.

Here are the contest details:

-Three grand prizes! -Limited-Edition Ghoulish Stories book -Signed Drive-In Horrorshow Soundtrack LP -Drive-In Horrorshow comic book -Collectible pins -Each entrant gets Ghoulish Stories Trading Cards -Duration: October 20-30, with the three grand prize winners chosen on Halloween! -Entry is free!

 

You can read all our brand-new Ghoulish Short stories on Wattpad.com or the Wattpad app, available for free on iOS or Android. To enter the contest visit http://www.DriveInHorrorshow.com

Happy Halloween!

 

ghoulies-2

Contest Details:

 

Contest begins October 20th, 2016 and ends at Midnight EST October 30th, 2016. RULES- 1)You MUST BE SUBSCRIBED to the Drive-In Horrorshow Twitter and/or HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT to enter!

2) MUST be 18 or older OR have parent/guardian permission. 3) Contest opens: 10/20/16 Closes: 10/30/16 4) Open to US/Canada Residents Only 5) You can only subscribe and Follow/Like once, but you can Tweet daily for more entries! 6) Winner will be chosen at random, so the more entries you make the better your chances! 7) DO NOT get scammed! Winners will be emailed directly with address provided. We will contact the winners on October 31th, 2016 via email. If any winner does not respond by November 7th 5pm PST, we reserve the right to hand over to the next randomly selected participant. 8) Winners will be announced publicly on November 8th, 2016 and not before that date for ANY REASON! Winners will be notified via email and announced publicly on the Drive-In Horrorshow, Facebook, and Newsletter. 9) The prizes will be sent out as soon as possible. Fulfillment will most likely be the middle of November 2016 – please keep in mind if you intend the prizes as gifts. Thank you and Good Luck!

Now available today! For $13!

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Special thank you to Ed Quillin and Kyle Poling for all their help!

 

http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

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Indie Horror Feature ‘Reel Nightmare’ Wraps, Reveals Vengeful Witches in First Poster

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LOS ANGELES, CA July 17th – Reel Nightmare, a hybridized found-footage horror feature film by independent production company Together Magic Films completed principal photography in Los Angeles on July 16th, following a ten-day shoot primarily set at the historical Woodbury-Story house.

Reel

The film exists in a contemporary interpretation of the H.P. Lovecraft universe, with the New England-set story centered around the discovery of a Necronomicon inside a Victorian house cursed by three body snatching witches; and the main characters depicted as students from the film school at the fictional Miskatonic University.

 

The official synopsis reads:

 

“An ambitious female director and her crew pick a remote Victorian house with a dark history as their shooting location, only to discover the mystical place is haunted by the spirits of three vengeful witches.”

 

Written, directed and co-starring Armand Petri, Reel Nightmare was produced by Art Arutyunyan in their feature film debut. Petri describes the film as: “A paranormal found-footage hybrid where the characters record the supernatural forces threatening them… until it’s logical to keep filming them. When the movie hits that point, Reel Nightmare switches to a traditional narrative style.”

 

The film boasts an international and diverse cast toplined by Madeleine Heil, Garrett Morosky (Ballet of Blood), Eric Saleh, Colombian import Andres Mejia Vallejo; and Canadian and Estonian beauties Hailey Chown and Mari-Liis Userdnov. Eliza Bone from Bulgaria and Brazilian thesp Christine Uhebe play two of the main witches. John DeFazio (Avengers Grimm, The Canyons) served as Director of Photography.

 

“The film is a fun ride that will appeal to fans of traditional horror and to those who crave an extra dosage of wit and humor in their scary movies. It features a fantastic location, an intriguing ghost story with three creepy (yet seductive) witches causing chaos, and a charismatic cast.” – adds Arutyunyan.

 

Reel Nightmare is currently in post-production and seeking distribution. A sequel, also written by Petri, is in development.

 

Contact: info@togethermagicfilms.com
 

About Together Magic Films

 

We believe everyone’s story is important and worth-telling. We create unusual stories with universal themes and inclusive casts” Founders: Art Arutyunyan & Armand Petri.

 

Photo Gallery (click download link below)

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/tdnw2wbxziy0egb/AAC914GrFu1fY2LrIZPqKo1ia?dl=0

SOURCE Together Magic Films

 

Related Links

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/reelnightmare/

Instagram @reelnightmare

Twitter @reel_nightmare